/CPD/ CHICAGO PD SCANNER THREAD - TRAPPED IN MALE BLACK'S

1ST FO CHECK YO KEYS

hello roberts.
Just grinding shitty gathering achievements in this autistic game while listening to synthwave and people getting stabbed by needles.
How are your nights?

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CHECK YOUR KEYS ROBERTS

>says he looks like a gangbanger and up to no good~
Fucking sassy

>Gangbanger and up to no goo-ood...
Dat voice

>>127806106

Lovely, the dude stabbing people with a bag full of hypodermic needles made my night

Checking in mo fuckas.

2nd night in a row.

>got the music too loud

>music too loud~~
fucking this guy

Reporting for duty Robert's.
Key status
>checked
What's the habbenings this watch?

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>>127805925
>I see you racists

I dont' know about you other Roberts, but this Robert is taking names and checking keys!

>>127806396

Females getting abducted by Male Black's van, stabbings with bags full of hypodermic needles, earlier Male White beating people with a home made flail, Walgreens happenings, Male Black refusing to leave JJ Peppers

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>>127806106
>hello roberts.
>Just grinding shitty gathering achievements in this autistic game
WHATCHU PLAYIN, MANE?

>>127806396
>>127806575
There is also a 60 y/o man being reported multiple times walking around yelling racial slurs, kek.

>>127806575
>hypodermic needles
>home made flail
This timeline=best timeline

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>>127806575
>just get into the /cpd/ thread
>read this
wtf did I just walk into? the blood shed this weekend wasn't enough for those black males?

>>127806609
just some XIV. Fishing while listening to this shit is comfortable.

>Male black just robbed someone

>>127807004
I never made it past my 30 day free trial back when it first came out, I even missed out on the free play they had last month. Am I missing anything Robert?

>male black in front of building for the past few hours

Call in the Roberts plz

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>>127807004
Keen. I'm on my second run through of VA-11 HALL-A, I actually leave it idling in the BG a lot with the jukebox player running, because the OST is so good.

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glad i could make it roberts

10/4, dumping aesthetic robert stuff

Any SASSY dispatch working tonight Robert?

>2 y/o in blue dress sitting on the corner
gee, just don't even raise your kids Chicongo

>2 y/o female sitting at the corner by herself
Grade A parenting

>anonymous says there is a female with a blue dress sitting all alone

i didnt think this was going to be a feels robert

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>>127807311

>>127807313
Earlier there was a male dispatch. Sassy AF.

>>127807158
A lot has changed, and there's a new expansion in slightly over two weeks that's going to change how every job/class plays. Everyone is in maintenance mode and is just gathering resources. It's time to catch up on fishing.
>>127807297
Yeah I saw you over the weekend. Is a good game.

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>>127807435
this might be a weird question, but has anyone else been using /cpd/ to do no-fap? ever since i started diverting my attention to robert, i havent had the urge to fap in almost a week

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>2 y/o in a blue dress sitting on the corner at 11:30PM
This is how you break children, you stupid coons. Fuck this makes me sad.

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>>127806575
>Male White beating people with a home made flail
Fuck that!
>Male Black refusing to leave JJ Peppers!?!?!?
IT'S FUCKING ON

>10-44 Robert the roads all backed up goin in anyways

>hot Buick Enclave, activating sensors
>ahhh

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>>127807464
>Is a good game.
I'm convinced the designers are channers. There's a bit of SJW preachiness, but its subtle so I can ignore it.

>>127807547
Every report of a sexual assault gets my dick twitching, so no.

>>127807350

Not a parent so this is an honest question. Is a two year old able to open a door knob and get out of the house on their own?

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>>127807780
thanks for the hardy kek, robert

>>127807691

kek

>>127807780
You shall now be known as "rape kit Robert".

>>127807547
i use it as a distraction from drinking, but its not as fun sober

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4 hour White Sox game ended just time time for REAL ROBERT hours

>>127807780
It can be rough living with a rape fetish, kek.

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>tfw listening to robert while watching cops

>>127807844
Check tour ID, you're now "r0offy Robert"

>>127807801
Possible but that's why you have a deadbolt or at least a chain. I have a 3 year old who is a crafty motherfucker but he can't reach a lock above the 4 foot mark.

This is ratchet single mothers leaving kids to watch kids or fucking yet another male black with her kids wandering unsupervised. Or she's just a piece of shit like the mother punching her five year old the other night

>>127807297
this game looks dope as fuck

>>127808116
>"r0offy Robert"
>whuts a roofy?
>eyes roll back
>falls face down on keyboard

>>127808116
Seconded, Real R0ofy Robert has be knighted

>>127808116

fucking lol, wew lad

>>127808309
roger that, meow robert

>>127808250
>>falls face down on keyboard
Shouldn't have accepted that drink, MeowRobert.

>>127808351
I can't keep getting away with it

Samhydewithcathead.jpg

>>127807801
Yes. Mine would do it all the time
If I was a nigger and didn't watch him

>>127808351
Sir R0ofy Ribert HAS SPOKEN!

im back robert,, its been a minute

>>127808552
p-please robert-chan, dont hold me to such as high standard..

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>>127807313

Battery in progress. Nigger beating a girl

>gang members
>black ford explorer

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>>127808478

>>127808033
Checked that explains the traffic, seems to be a GTA kind of night, drag racing will have to wait til that shit clears out

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>>127808760
TOLL STATUS:
>[_] UNPAID
>[X] PAID IN FULL

>>127808715
AYY

>Garbage cans
>Black shirt

Taking over-unders here boys, 2:1 on perpetrator.

>>127808760
Date night antics, the mating ritual has begun

>>127808964

"Ah yes, now we see the feral nigger in it's most natural state.."

>>127808700
You are a true Robert, you didn't ask for this duty, this duty has asked for you. I see you changed your name,
Please embrace your title and add "Sir", Sir Robert.

Are there any men in the cpd? All i hear is women

>>127808895
My mind says Hiz Panic but my heart says Male Black

>>127809036
as you wish, senpai

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>>127809046
>mfw MEOW id replies to me

>>127809044
dispatch are almost all female, because a female voice demands more attention.

>>127809044
That's mostly dispatch, which seems to be all wymyn except for Smooth Operator dispatch and Sassman Dispatch on the Adam shift

>>127809046
meow robert, please update your name to reflect your catlike robertness

>>127809177
your forgetting Barry White and Happy sometimes on Robert shift

>>127809089
Now go forth, with heart and courage. There is no MALE BLACK you will not defeat SIR ROBERT!

>they're trying to put the fire out

WE DIDNT START THE FIRE

>>127809213

Anything to give RRH my energeez

>>127809320
fuck black male, nogging up the streets of chicago

Fuckin'..."Guy putting out a fire, but the fire department and otheriwse think it's a house on fire."

>>127809213
>>127809177
>>127808116
please for fucks sake stop, we only need names for very specific people like picrobert.

this is just pointless namefagging.

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>>127809386

>>127808964
>male black gets a gf
>he then proceeds to beat the shit out of her

>>127809500
>tfw you cant get a gf even without the beating

why eve live

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>>127809428
>tfw not /comfy/ Robert doesn't have a funny ID

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>>127809378
BUT WE WILL FIDDLE WHILE IT BURNS!

>>127809543

Obviously because she didn't get beaten to death by a nignog.

>>127807547
Same here. I think the reason why i fapped was because I was bored at this time of night from my books, so this has kinda taken over.

sassy female robert is on patrol boys, watch out

>>127809611
>Being this savage.

>>127809571
its cringey as fuck, it hurts every time I have to read these stupid names.

Hispanics breaking into a maroon construction van.

Man. Can't KEEP them Hiz Panics from working these days.

>3 male blacks tampering with a car

absolutely mischievous

MIght COME IN ON THURSDAY THOUGH

>black male
>white female

Acting wild on the street with alcohol. Fucking coalburners i swear

>>127809720
The most blackpilled mfer on Robert shift, Roberta herself

>male black with a female white camping, talking loud

>male black female white drinking and being loud on the sidewalk

ehhh let em chill

>>127809756
Have you ever considered a transfer to Adam shift?

>>127810013
the toll will be paid in due time

>>127809757
Gotta load up on ammo so the Nail Gun Cholos can roam the streets again. They should just start fixing shit randomly

Good god. I've exceeded my keks for the evening, I'm gonna get overdrawn from
>up to no good

>>127810158
Did anything come of that? I had to sign off early last night Robert.

>>127810158
I never got to hear the calls about the cholos with the nail gun. just heard other mention it.guess that was a fun time for Robert

>tall black male sitting in the alley

What's new for Chicago lol?

>>127810140

lol Male Black can't go long without fucking some shit up, Female White usually doesn't side with him though, interesting development.

>>127810339
didn't they say he was carrying a rake? oh shit! he must be after a Canadian!

>Male black with garden rake standing in the alley
Did I hear that right, lol?

>>127810444
Day of the rake sooner than later, I guess.

>>127810120
have you ever considered checking your extreme autism so that others around you dont suffer from eternal cringe.

>>127810471
Are alley gardens a thing in Chicago? Maybe MALE BLACK is innocently tending his shit?

>>127810120
What and When's the Adam Shift?

>>127810660
during the day.

>>127810597
Day of the rake.

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>>127810553
Yes Robert, I have. I choose to be /comfy/ and ignore you from now on. Shame to have a Robert not /comfy/ really...

>>127810750
Thanks for the info.

>male black tearing up abandoned building

>>127810796
>Shame to have a Robert not /comfy/ really...

if you truly thought that then you wouldnt make everyone uncomfortable with your retarded namefagging.

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>>127810553
chill out Robert

Oh boy, niggers ripping up a building.

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REAL AWOO~ HOURS

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THE COONING HOUR IS UPON US!

>>127811110
this post gave me aids

>>127810966
the amount of newfags in this thread is unbelievable. I hardly recognize /cpd/ currently.

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>>127810304
>>127810303

Legend says they disappeared back into the Home Depot parking lot from whence they came

Robert never...

...Nailed them down

>>127811110
kys emperor reddit

>>127811309
I'm 2 hrs behind Chiraq Robert. Takes some dedication to reach "cooning" hours... Hurts when you know the best is yet to come.

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>>127811391
HEY! I've been here all summer!

Just took a huge shit - any niggerings happen?

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>>127811436

>>127811696
Don't be silly, of course there is.

>>127811696
lot's of His Panic calls

It baffles me how a city in a developed country could be so fucked up. This is literally Africa-tier shit

>>127811879
But... But... It's a gun free city Robert! So progressive!

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>>127811879
>This is literally Africa-tier shit
hmmmm

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>>127811547
>Hurts when you know the best is yet to come.
by the time you're seeing midnight, the bars are only just letting out in Chi. Sorry you must suffer so, marinegineer bro.

>>127811879
At least most of the buildings are upright. Detroit is crumbling and in far worse condition, but without Chiraq's charm.

>>127811978
Not gun free anymore. We even have CC now. Though a shit ton of hoops to jump through.

did Robert just say "they have a all night vigil going on"? like for Pooky who got shot over the weekend? everyone holding signs that say "End the gun violence"? oh I love those when some Nog decides he sees someone he hates and shots that shit up.

>>127812168
Really lol? Now you can get a .22 after 6 months of background checks to defend yourself against drive-bys with Tec9s and Mac10s haha

Who needed a rape kit where?

>>127812168

Yep, I love the No Guns, Knives, Weed symbols on buildlings lol

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Any historian Roberts around? Wtf happened in 2015-16 that caused this spike?

>>127812065
No, no, Robert... It's 0213 here. I'm 2 hours later than Chiraq.

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MFW I realize this is literally just a thread with people sitting around for hours listening to a police scanner

>>127812265
>Who needed a rape kit where?

female found lying face down in bushes

>>127812322
Look at the country these pastt few years. The ongoing narrative and stuff.

>>127812521
what the fuck did you think it was?

>>127812253
don't forget, you need that FOID card to buy the ammo, and that's before you go for a CCW
https://www.ispfsb.com/Public/FOID.aspx

>>127812168
How can an American city even be "gun free" with muh 2nd amendment? Doesn't that violate federal law?
>inb4 democrat Obongo

>>127812421
thats what he is saying, robert

by the time your clock says midnight, things are only just starting to get interesting in chiraq

>>127812421
Oh, right. Sorry.

>Holding a scene for shell casing found in the street

>>127812569
I wonder if that was the girl in the van who didn't get away...

>>127812576
I see. Thought there was something particular, directly Chicago related.

>>127812322
Rahm issued new rules for the CPD and made them all touch feely. they literally cannot chase anyone now.

>>127812253
Fuck that noise. But honestly, I'd rather avoid .22. Those things are too unpredictable.
>>127812291
You can have a knife, less than 2 1/2", though the cops really don't care unless you're an idiot, have something 6" or longer, or are a dindu. And most stores don't even have those signs, mainly federal and public buildings.

>>127812521

i haven't been here since ferguson chimp out. interesting irl drama, though.

>>127812521

>tfw a man was walking around stabbing people with hypodermic needles earlier and he had a bag full of them

Pretty good entertainment desu, it's like listening to entertainment on the radio

>>127812686
Negative Sir R0OfY Robert. Chicago bars let out at 0500 my time... I'm about to get up for bacon and Robert eggs then.

>>127812636
If the city didn't come up with something, it would have been flipped to a "will issue" state.

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A book, tv show, or movie with this find of feel you get with the scanner and the music would be awesome.

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>>127812521
There are people that dress in animal suits and fuck each other in a giant orgy with other furfags. What exactly makes this an unacceptable hobby?

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>>127812322
not sure but here is interesting gas chart

>>127812944
was it getting that pro-gun?

>>127812521
yeah its entertaining hearing a city tear itself apart in real time

>>127812720

Busses and transportation from the west and south side are improving. Nigs fucking around in areas they shouldn't be.

CHECK YO COVFEFE

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Great weekend niggers killing niggers 7 dead 45 wounded all before 8:00 PM Monday night

>>127812820

At least walking down Ashland heading north from Roosevelt I've seen alot of buildings with those signs, restraunts included not just Rush etc.

>>127812928
That transmission gave me chills, to be honest.

I'm not afraid of needles, but I know how sharp those hypodermic bitches are. That idiot can fuck you up good. Also, I guess those were used.

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Just tuning in What'd I miss?

>>127813105
proly not Chicongo, but maybe the rest of the state? I heard the rural areas with the farms, you would never know it's the same state Chicongo is in.

>>127813313
Lol not just the damage from being slashed.

You have to imagine those fuckers are used, so HIV is likely. Fucking coons.

17 year old girl trying to hurt herself in a park.

>>127813361
>What'd I miss?

someone pooped on the sidewalk.

>>127813536
>trying to hurt herself
Could just walk around.

>>127813621
More like go outside.

>>127813105
Chicago was dictating state law. The feds were going to step in.
>>127813223
Usually not over that way, so I wouldn't know. I can just go by experience.
>>127813367
Pretty much. Outside of the Chicago megametro area, mostly small towns, a couple Mennonite communities, but farms for HOURS when driving.

two males copulating in the park

>>127813789
>Chicago was dictating state law. The feds were going to step in.
so does everyone else in Ill hate chicongo or what? like it seems the entire city is the embodiment of the phrase "this is why we can't have nice things"

man eating some sort of poop

>>127814065

Everyone else in IL claims to be from Chicago regardless of where they're from unless it's maybe Springfield.

>>127813789
>Chicago was dictating state law. The feds were going to step in
How, better yet give me a link or some key words to look up how they were doing that.

your mom selling her anus to the monkeys

>paranoid schizo woman, 57, missing from nursing home

>>127814187
JFC these levels of coonery are spiraling out of control

>52 y/o/ paranoid schizo missing from the funny farm

>>127808150

Makes sense. These guttermuppets need to watch their kids.

>>127808507

I had no idea kids that young could figure out a door knob.

>Alarm at Walgreens

>>127814222
Chicago sends the most money to the state. He who has the money makes the law. Because Chicago didn't want CC, all the paid politicians fought all CC laws. Due to quite a few suits popping up at the federal level, the feds pretty much forced Chicago to figure something out for CC. They came up with one of the most annoying and fucked up laws. One of the biggest problems, for the CC permit, you needed range time. CPD ranges are off limits to civvies and the nearest civvie range that qualified is about an hour or two drive away. They are working on changing that last bit now.

>>127814793
Hide the tide, niqqa looting party incoming!

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hey /chicago/

Why is this square always filled up with black ppl?

I know they give out clothes and stuff on Sunday but every other day of the week they're there fighting and dealing drugs constantly.

Is it because there's lots of places to sit?

>>127815048
they have nowhere else to go.

>>127815046
>Hide the tide
Sounds like a good hashtag to me, kek.

gun to his neck?

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>>127814928
>tfw leafs aren't as cucked as Chiraq.

>>127814928
Thanks

>>127815154
Sad. :[

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>body removal

>Deceased Male Black

Finally

>>127815293
One reason many are leaving. Hell, I'm looking at property in Indiana right now.
>>127815357
No problem. What can I say, it all comes down to money.

>>127815614
Fuck Robert. Just went to rock a piss, what did I miss?

>>127815048
not from Chicago, but I would guess it's one of those things where it's centrally located and easy to get to, so they all just sort of congregate there. and the coonery just follows the crowd

>>127815694
>Just went to rock a piss
is that like some Canadian idiom? do you end a statement like that with "eh?"

>>127815835
Sorry for my leaf idioms Robert. It's from "trailer park boys" eh. However it is a common saying down east b'y.

Oh fuck Robert,
>public drinking.

>>127815694
Sounded like a body removal but possible suspicious circumstances. Being removed from Christ Hospital (Southside, in Oak Lawn, IL)

>natural causes
damn

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OP is heading out. Stay comfy tonight, lads. I'll see you tomorrow.

>>127816086
>Christ Hospital
Fuck that place, was stuck doing work there as a contractor for 3 fucking months, it was miserable.

It's also the only level 1 trauma center anywhere close to the south side, so that's where everything goes. Also, there's a Cupid's Candies right down the street, which has the best fucking ice cream around.

>>127816376

Take it easy, I'll post one up before you get home most likely

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what's up roberts. helluva weekend.

>>127816388
>try to work all day
>obnoxious patients asking you for shit when you don't work there
>blacks wailing cause nig nog dies in the ER
>HEY! Lets get ice cream when we get off this afternoon!
about sum it up?

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>>127816502
Cheers, m8. Thanks for doing so!

>>127816566
Pretty much, but only at the beginning, I work in a field where people don't want to be around you and signs are posted that keep them away, so once setup is done, you're golden.

Plus who doesn't like fucking ice cream? And there's a palermo's pizza right down the street, one of my favorite places. We usually got that at least once a week.

>>127816388
>>127816566

I went there for EMT-B and Paramedic school about 10 years ago. It wasn't as intense as it is now but we still saw plenty of nigs who had nog'd.

>gunshot victim
>shot in the chest

>58 y/o male
>GSW to chest

I wonder what color he is, roberts?!

>gunshot wound to chest

>>127816525

Yeah it was lol, been saying it all night because it just cracks me the fuck up but if you weren't in earlier you missed a man with a bag of hypodermic needles stabbing people

>two people playing tennis
>making lots of noise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0N1HitvAtQ

>>127816873
Yeah, 10 years ago there was still another level 1 in the center of the south side, I think a university of chicago one that got closed maybe 6-7 years ago, it's really gotten to be a worse place to go since then.

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>>127807757
>tfw used to bond over FFXIV with my ex of four years and now i can't play it anymore without being reminded of her

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>>127816997
yea i did see that mentioned on the way down. Its wild and crazy. The variety of happendings has been pretty solid.
>>127817031

>>127817131
The violence is more common now too. I went to clinicals at Trinity hospital which is way deep in nig nog country and it was safe. I couldn't honestly say that now but i also moved to Texas..so yeah

>>127817191

Somebody turn this image into a /cpd/ meme

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>>127817031
>Those Grunts

Good to hear Robert is having a relatively relaxed night compared to all the weekend madness. Stay comfy, see you all tomorrow.

Only shot one time. Lol

>>127817031
black metal vocals 2bh
im a fan of a good UGGHH in music

On this episode of "Trannies in Chiraq"..

>wanted for UUW
quick search says that is "Unlawful Use of a Weapon"

>blond dreads
nice

>>127818068
Spot on

>>127818068
>unlawful flailing

>>127815048
Back when i worked in the financial district i used to go to the 7/11 "guy would give me free shit sometimes" that was right next to that bench area.

Literally all the fuckers that were spending the day begging around the big corporate offices would hang out there during their "off hours" basically whenever there wasnt much people walking about to harrass

>dragging and choking female

>>127815048
Lots of big cities have unofficial "legal" homeless blocks/drug dealing blocks.
LA's Skid Row is the most notorious. The cops basically allow a bunch of shit to happen in one area as a way to contain the mayhem. What takes place in these areas is low level shit compared to the rest of the crime in the cities so they just turn a blind eye to it for the most part.
If you've seen The Wire think of Hamsterdam.

>just told him not to come to this location

>Burglary
>MALE BLACK

Ahhh, so comfy

>Wow,Really?

I figure everyone's out Covfefe'ing right now

>>127821696
2 male blacks running eastbound in an alley

>>127820146
Yeah, but this is smack in the middle of the Loop.

This Robert's silky voice is too smooth, it's making me tired.

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Have I missed anything good?

>>127822738

pretty quiet for the last couple hours, way earlier man was stabbing people with hypodermic needles and he had a bag of em as backup

Shooting.

>Silent alarm at Papa John's

Shits getting real with Papa Robert

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111KB, 1200x1200px

>>127823358

>Male black taking construction tools from an in progress library construction site and putting them into a orange push cart

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>Stealing construction material from a Library in the dead of night

Do we have literal Cartoon Super villains running around Chicago?

>Haha! Now the Children will have nowhere to read!

>THROWING TRASHCANS AROUND AND YELLING

>Kids with fireworks

Jesus Robert is booked for the night

ROBBERY BLACK, TOOK THE KEYS TO THE CAR

Gotta pass out, take care anyone left in the thread. The normal guy usually posts a bit later but I'll make a thread when I wake up until he comes on.