you ever fart so loud you shut down the woods? this morning

nice blogpost

>>928010
Nice.

I was touring Crystal Cave near Sequoia NP with my 10 y/o step-daughter and kept teasing her when they turned out the lights I was going to fart

>no, dad, noooo
>guide: imagine if you will what the first explorers felt when they entered the cave for the first time...
>LIGHTS OUT

>PPPPPPPHHHHHHHHUURRREEETTT!!!!!!!

>furious leg kicking by 10 y/o
>tour group laughter

>guide: ok, ok imagine if....
>secondary shock wave
>PPHHHRRReeetttttt!!!
>tour group giggling
>guide: ok, forget it...

Epic.

>>928016
>my ass is so tight i never fart

Got it. No fart stories.

>>928020
pretty nice. making a dork out of myself on tours to piss my buddies off always cracks me up.

but u need to learn the 4chen lingo. step daughter = wife's son. although, technically, it is funnier that a 10 year old girl kicked you for farting.

>>928037
>technically...

She is my second ex-wife's illegitimate daughter, not of her first husband who keep thier boys and whom during our wedding ceremony had to "marry" me as her father by saying "I do". I never actually "divorced" her, so we're still married, so "technically" it's complicated.

How's that work for you?

>mfw replied while taking a shit at work

>>928010
*PAAAAAAAAAARP*

>>928010
I haven't but while working at scout camp one year, my boss farted so loud it echoed.

>>928118
You should be a writer.

Humanity fuck yeah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs30P0oQb7M

Watch the first 30 seconds of this OP

>>928416
kek

>>928010
Can you imagine farting on her face?

I can.

>>928416
Is this purely caricature or are there people in Australia actually like this because holy shit my sides are obliterated