What's the best way to kill a bear that you come across

MODS

>>831379
Depends on the bear, some can be killed and some cant.

>Black Bear
Charge at it, with or without a weapon, while yelling at it and calling it a weak pansy faggot bitch, and it'll run away faster than a nigger waking up in a job service center.

>Brown Bear
High caliber gun, Shotguns, Rifles, a tank, GAU-8, a ford superduty AWD at over 80 mph. Do not attempt to attack one without a weapon of some kind, they will kill you.

>White Bear
You run, into the closest lake or river you can find, you dont stop running until you are out of its reach by at least 20 feet. You cannot beat a white bear, they do not have the concept of pain or fear, youre only option is to run and hope its lazy,

blind it with a laser and wait for it to starve

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>>831379
i think the correct thing is to give it an egg or two and be or your way

but make sure those are boiled eggs!

>>831379
I carry a 10mm Glock on hikes. I use Underwood extreme penetrator rounds. The specific round can penetrate bullet proof glass and the gun and caliber is used specifically by some armed forces as a defense for polar bears (besides a rifle).

If the round can puncture bullet proof glass, a bear scull should be easy. Although, bullet placement may be difficult, so if it charges, just empty 15 rounds into it, it should drop with a 10mm.

.44 magnum

/thread

>>831379
>If Its brown, lie down.
>If its black, fight back.
> If its white, good night.

>>831403
>if it's yellow, let it mellow

>>831379
bodyslam it.

Probably try to choke it with your skull.

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hand to hand like a man

>>831382
But can MODS really kill a bear?

WILL they?

>>831379
Assuming you mean as a last restort...pretty much any deep penetrating caliber with hard cast non expanding bullets. Avoid some of the smaller calibers like 9mm if you are in an area that has brown bears I would recommend a minimum of 10mm or 357 mag. For rifles you want the same thing deep penetrating bullets like steel core 7.62x39 probably minimum which is sinilar to a 30-30. I don't think that 223 will give you enough energy to get through bones and continue on.
For recommended instead of minimum 44 mag or larger, 12 gauge slugs, 308 or similar rifle, 460 Rowland (probably not any option if you had to ask this)
But if you can't shoot a 44 mag for shit or 12 gauge slugs make you flinch and miss, it would be better to.go down to something smaller you can actually hit with. It's all about shot placement 44 mag that hits a leg will be beat by a 357 to the skull

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>>831384
>laser
>>831416
>bodyslam

this

hasn't /out/ taught you anything, op?

>>831379

Tell the bear your're voting for Hillary, it will break it's furry heart and they will die from sadness.

Dont

>>831379
The best way to kill a bear is with your dick.

It's not the easiest way, or the most efficient way. It's not really the most practical way, or even the most successful way. Using your dick to kill a bear is however the best way.

Statistically you have a very low chance of killing a bear with your dick. I'm going to say most others who have tried have a less than 1% success rate. It's possible, but you really have to be committed.

Ask my friend Greg about it.

Back in 2001 Greg was walking through Glacier National Park. It was a cool fall day, and Greg was thinking about the time in high school he fingerbanged Amanda Smurkowski in the back seat of his 1997 Grand Am. Naturally he had a raging boner just thinking about it. He rounds a corner and there's a Grizzly, about 10 yards away. He stop, raises his arms and makes some noise, like you're supposed to. The grizzly takes one look at him, notices his dick is pitching a pretty impressive tent, and immediately charges. Little did Greg know grizzly bears are not supposed to be looked at in the eye while you have a hard on. Greg has seconds to react, fortunately since it's 2001, those Adidas tear away pants are still in style. He rips off the pants so now his man meat is out, ready for the attack. Just as the bear reaches him, he lunges at the bear dick first.

One thing you have to remember about ole Amanda Smurkowski is she was captain of the cheerleaders squad with a body as tight as an 8 year old Amish girl. So Greg's dick was not just hard, it was maybe just hard enough to take down a grizzly. Greg took this chance. As the bear lowered it's head, and Greg pounced cock first, his wedding vegetable struck the bear right in the eye, and with one good sausage push penetrated into the bears skull, hitting the brain, and killing the grizzly instantly. Greg skull fucked a bear to death essentially. The group of children that watched were terrified, yet relieved.

Use your dick OP.

>>831379
>killing bears
kys faggot Op

>>831404
> if its brown, flush it down

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> AK47 - When you absolutely, positively have to kill every motherfucking bear in the house

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>>831548

>>831379
Just throw it your sandwich and run off

>>831399
I've never heard of someone shining a light in a bear's face to scare it away but I can't imagine it's a good idea

>>831548
Jesus I should not have laughed that hard at this

http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/canada/sudbury/sudbury-man-punches-black-bear-1.3663954

The audio at the bottom is pure gold.

Glock 10 (or whatever the 10mm version is)

You yanks couldn't pay me enough to wander around in a forest that had bears and shit roaming around.

And to think some chucklefuck professors down south are trying to reintroduce wild wolves. Fuck that noise, stags are dangerous enough when you're only armed with a plastic spork that's got to be under 7.62cm or it's illegal.

>>832003
bears are big pussy dogs

I'd rather bears than moose or fucking possums

>>831548
the human mind really is fascinating, isn't it?

>>832004
it's not safe to assume that. when i've bumped into bears innawoods they run away like big mice, but the bears that roam my town are not to be taken lightly. urban/suburban bears aren't afraid of people and follow people looking for food and trash. you don't know how used to people a bear might be and whether or not idiots have been feeding them.

>>832011
even in a confrontation I'd take a bear over a moose

there's a lot of dangerous things to worry about while /out/ but bears I wouldn't rank even in the top 5

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>>831379
I'm going to yellowstone on a 1 week backpacking trip. I'm bringing a long barrel .357, do you think that's enough? Big bastard kicks like a mule.

>>832030
not if they're hungry enough

Strange seeing this thread, only just started getting interested in /out/ shit this past weekend and all of a sudden last night I had a dream/nightmare where I was sprinting through the woods for some reason, can't remember why, along a beaten trail when I turned a corner and there was suddenly a black bear and her cub 20 feet infront of me, and it just charged at me before I could do jack shit (I have that issue in my dreams where I can't walk or run, feels like I have bungees attached to me pulling me back, always have to crawl on my hands pulling myself forward. It's to do with the fact there's no physical feedback from your feet impacting the gruond when you're dreaming)

Strange since I live in a country where there aren't bears. Still a strange dream I'd thought I'd share.

>>832030
not if they're horny enough

Ftfy

>>832030
Always wondered, are there any provisions for foreign hikers/campers in bear country in the USA to get temporary permits for shotguns/pistols incase they run into anything? I imagine the likelihood of actually running into one that isn't scared away by you is quite small, but I still wonder.

Can't imagine it'd be practical with all the paperwork and legal shit you'd need to fill out.

>>832039
I would just go with an american who already had the license. Fuck paperwork, let the native carry the extra 8 pounds. Chances are you won't need it, and if you do, there's no legal trouble. Honestly I'm taking bear spray as well, the Big Iron is just there in case the unthinkable occurs, IE a bear wants to make me + my sleeping bag into a soft shell human taco at 1 AM.

>>832032
>>832038
Now I'm afraid of being fucked and eaten by bears.

>>832037
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKnQEgy6pwY

It's a young bear, but still incredibly deadly. If it was an older bear, it might have known to knock down the door.

>>832043
Don't worry they're surprisingly graceful lovers

>>832047
I'm sure he'll play my dick like a piccolo.

>>832045
Good posting that, there was another viral vid the other day of two bears wandering into someones home and them recording it from upstairs. It's probably that video that sparked the dream.

The human brain is a strange beast.

>>831548
Oh fuck me, I needed this you gigantic /out/ist

>>832030
Carrying a firearm in a national park is a federal offense
Tell me when and where you're going to be so I can call your stupid ass in

>>832096
Not in Arizona. Just can't take it in ranger stations.

>>832096
>Tell me when and where you're going to be so I can call your stupid ass in
kill yourself, boot licker.

>>832132
>bootlicker because you don't disagree with laws that keep national parks from being redneck shitholes

>>832132
>boot licker because people respect the law
Holy fuck you edgy pre-teen, kill yourself.

>>831927
the flashlight is a meme, just like "killing a bear that you come across"

>>831379
Let it die of old age.

Lots of people shoot these fuckers with stupidly large calibers only to have them maul the fuck out of them before dying.

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Some of you are on the right track with the Glock 20, but measly 15 round stock mags? Might be ok for an angry rabbit or squirrel, but for bears I trust my life to no less than 32 rounds

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>>831396
>not the 500 Magnum

>>832096
lol no it isn't

>>832163
"old age"
They don't die of old age. They die trying to get food, or starving. An old bear not putting on enough weight will attack humans when desperate to survive.

>>832096
"As of February 22, 2010, a new federal law allows people who can legally possess firearms under applicable federal, state, and local laws, to legally possess firearms in Yellowstone park.

The Credit Card Accountability Responsibility and Disclosure Act of 2009, was enacted May 22, 2009 and will become effective February 22, 2010. Section 512 of this law; Protecting Americans from Violent Crimes, supersedes the uniform treatment of firearm possession in the national park system outside Alaska under the regulations found at 36 C.F.R. 2.4.

It is the responsibility of visitors to understand and comply with all applicable state, local, and federal firearms laws before entering this park. Yellowstone encompasses parts of Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho. Each state has different regulations and these are listed below.

Federal law also prohibits firearms in certain facilities in this park (such as visitor centers, government offices, etc.); those places are marked with signs at all public entrances. Hunting and discharge of firearms remain prohibited in Yellowstone National Park."

The exception being when you are being attacked by a bear. You're demonstrably uninformed, and perhaps a huge faggot, though this is only conjecture.

Bullets

>>831548
Fucking Greg man

>>832139
move to britain you numale cuckold

>>832045
Great. Now I am watching animal attack videos. There goes my whole day.

Op, be vigilant. Situational awareness. I have zero brown bear experience but being in Oregon I have been around plenty of black bears. They are the bear to not worry about so much. Still, I read great things about bear spray. If I'm camping or hiking and I know a rifle or shotgun is out of the question, I always have my Redhawk in 44 mag. You will get people who say you need a 500, 454, 460 ect. I feel great with it. It has serious authority out of a 7 inch barrel and doest beat the piss out of you. In most instances in the woods, being a dad and being more worried about mentally ill people, I pack my sam7sf anyway. 30 rounds of fuck off should work.

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>>832030
>.357
> kicks

Being this much of a faggot.

>>832096
> turn you in

Being the only bigger faggot on the planet.

>>831548
>captain of the cheerleaders squad with a body as tight as an 8 year old Amish girl.

oh god i shouldn't have laughed at that

>his wedding vegetable

oh i lost it there

>>831996
>http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/canada/sudbury/sudbury-man-punches-black-bear-1.3663954

what a bad ass

>>832750
Well the girls are out to bingo and the boys are gettin stinko
We think no more of Inco on a Sudbury Saturday Night
The glasses they will tinkle while our eyes begin to twinkle
And we think no more of Inco on a Sudbury Saturday Night

With Irish Jim O'Connell there & Scotty Jack McDonald
There's hunky Frederic Hergal gettin tight but that's alright
There's happy German Frixie there with Frenchie gettin tipsy
And even Joe the gypsy knows it's Saturday tonight

Now when Maryanne and Mabel come to join us at the table,
And tell us how the bingo went tonight we'll look a fright
But if they won the money we'll be lappin' up the honey boys
'Cause everything is funny for it's Saturday tonight

We'll drink the loot we borrowed and recuperate tomorrow
'Cause everything is wonderful tonite-we had a good fight
We ate the deli pickle and we forgot about the nickel
And everybody's tickled for it's Saturday tonight

The songs that we'll be singin They might be wrong but they'll be ringin'
But all the lights of town are shinin bright-and we're all
Tight -We'll get to work on Monday-but tomorrow's only Sunday and we are out to have a fun day for it Saturday tonight.

>>831379
Kill its spirit by giving it awkward looks and saying things that imply a sense of distrust for the bears capabilities.

>>831379
Why is it necessary to kill the bear? What did it do to you?

Support your right to arm bears!

>>831379
A) Don't
B) .45-70 Government w/350gr+ bonded hollowpoint

>>831379
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Bears generally won't bother you unless they think you're trying to hurt them or their cubs. Speak loudly or whistle or sing to yourself so they'll know something is coming around a corner. That way you won't take them by surprise. Like most animals, they generally don't want a confrontation, and generally leave you alone if you keep your distance. North American black bears are outright timid around people. They'll do a bluff charge and clack their jaws and paw the ground and snort to try and scare you, but if you make a lot of noise and put on a show, they'll go away. Brown bears are more dangerous (especially grizzlies), but if you keep your distance and stay still they usually lose interest and go back to foraging or lumbering around.
Don't kill bears on sight. They're intelligent animals that won't seek you out to kill you, and they play a role in ecosystems.

>>832011
Just a couple days after I moved on from staying in a little town in Colorado, I read about a black bear that walked into town at 2 AM, found the local candy/sweet shop, pigged out, and walked back into the woods like nothing happened.

>>832374
>>>/pol/

>>831548
Mother of God my sides

How many volts will taze a brown bear?

>>831383
Is white bear the same as a polar bear?

>>831404
>if its red, go to bed

>>832930
> bipolar bear

Yes. But they take meds.

>>831383

Polar bears are excellent swimmers so i don't think you want to get into water. Plus if you're in Polar Bear territory and you get wet you'll probably freeze to death.

>>831548

This story is bullshit.

No one on this site has "friends".

>>833168
> "friends" == homo date rape

I can see that.

>>832798
Geeze, it's a shame that I had to scroll down this far into the thread to find a non-psychopathic & informative post. Cheers, mate.

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>>831383
>dont stop running until you are out of its reach by at least 20 feet.
>out of its reach by at least 20 feet.
>20 feet
>out of its reach
goddamn polar bear could inhale and suck you into its jaws from 20 fuckin feet

>>831548
This OP, this x1000.

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>>831379
how to deal with a bear
>keep safe distance. maybe bear will go away
>bear doesnt go away. sphincter tightens.
>make noise and make yourself seem big. if you have any firecrackers throw them at the bear.
>bear still not backing down. bear gets close. pepper spray like its a liberal hippy at a protest.
>dont have bear spray? get a stick and bash it over the nose with the force of a thousand rasengans. this could kill it. at the very least make it frigg off. get your mora handy in case you have to 1v1 melee this bitch to the death.
>if you have a gun shooot it. duh.
bear arent the ones to worry about too much though....

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I hike with a Roman gladius just in case I come across a bear.

I fight them like the gladiators would.

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>>831548
>Little did Greg know grizzly bears are not supposed to be looked at in the eye while you have a hard on.
fucking kek

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>>832176
This, they're pricy but they only exist to pop bear skulls

I carry a vz58 with 30 rounds of fmj ammo. But typically just being noisey helps. Animals are more likely to flee if they hear you coming. If you do happen upon a predator make yourself look big and shout. I've told bears to fuck off and they do.

>>833680
Anon: "fuck off bear"

Bear: "fuck you Greg"

>>bear slowly saunters away

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>>831548

>>833385
>with the force of a thousand rasengans
>make it frigg off
>bear arent the ones to worry about too much though....

Careful anon, you almost swore on a good christian image board.

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>>833704
>Careful anon, you almost swore on a good christian image board.
i didnt think most /out/ists were christians. i would have guessed pagen, spiritual bs, or atheists.

>>831379
>What's the best way to kill a bear that you come across during a hike?
you need to pull the pin from a grenade and stuff it up your ass and then bodyslam it

>>831379
bear spray if that doesn't work use 30-50 cal gun

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Sorry for not reading the thread but I just have a couple things to say.
OP black bears are not aggressors.. ive had encounters when in small groups of people and alone.
All three of my encounters have involved mother bears with their cubs.
1st encounter was alone and the bears ran like bats out of hell
2nd encounter the mom and her 1 cub ate mine and my coworkers lunches and didnt give a fuck that we were yelling and screaming from 20 feet away (it had cornered us out of dumb luck that our only exit was betweeb us and bear) ...
3rd encounter was in my back yard where I was running down a trail.. ran past 4 bears (momma and cubs) and didnt even realize untill I turned to head back home maybe 20 feet past them, so on my return the bears thought I was running straight at them... it was at that time I first noticed they were there beause all the noise from their tires squeeling... I kinda faced them and worked backwards .. the 3rd encounter was my most fearful because I had alreafy accidently wandered so close to them

But anyways what I want to say is that bears are truly harmless and you shouldnt believe the city slicking wive tales. 99% of bears are just looking for grub and are extremely frightened of humans.

BUT i live in New Brunswick, Canada and our wildlife is untame. Im sure down in the states the bears behave differently so just my 2 cents and OC experience....

But to answer your question hypothetically punch bear in nose... hope 4 best.

Pic related

>>833418
Ave mea Numidia!

>>834611
You made a claim that black bears are not aggressors, then you used your proof to support a separate claim that bears are harmless.

Brown/ Grizzly bears are thoughtless killing machines

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>>831548
Someone get this man whatever he desires

>>831420
This

>>831548
This guy fucks...

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>>834611
bidf please go
even the cute little snuggly black bear can be dangerous hippy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUarQFGv8eg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8zQF-vv4iI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_1OVjwjg04
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PWHNIbS8cE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTcbD2wRu1c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td8Sf8DIMUM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJqKb_XbLQc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h70Pxh-pCWw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOx6zvWsLV0

i'm gunna kill the bear

>>831379
Start sucking your own dick like mad.
The bear will become envious and snap its own neck trying to imitate you.

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>>834682

>>831548
Gold

>>833671
>.50 mag
>2" barrel
Talk about wasting 90% of your energy

>>834611
>But to answer your question hypothetically punch bear in nose... hope 4 best.
no you better stab them in the heart
slightly under the armpits in the middle
don't ever fucking go inna woods without a knife there is no good excuse

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>>835105
thing is you can kill a bear easily enough but to stop an attack your best bet is the heart, the brain would also do but hard to get to.

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>>832176
>not the 50 bmg

>>831416
I thought that only worked with wolves.

>>835239
Does it matter?

No one here can body slam a bear is actively trying to eat you. So basically any bear other than ol nigger the black bear

>>835164
You can reach the brain with a hard dick >>831548

>>835422
i'm not putting my dick anywhere near a living bear teeth.

>>835245
there was a dude that clinged under a male lions belly to avoid being eaten. the lion couldn't get to it just stood there dumbly and the-other lions didn't touch him because he was attached to the alpha male.

>>835763
But then what

>>835808
yeah well he was in a zoo so he was to be rescued. other than that you need to hope the lions get used to your presence and smell and no longer want to eat or kill you.

>>832127
This. I was charged by a large male blackbear a few years back while scouting for mule deer in unit 4B (Arizona). Shot it twice with my 9mm Ruger. Went down without issue.
Just about stepped in a fresh pile of bear scat yesterday scouting a nearby area. Bears everywhere.

>>835864
If it was actually a large male, you were extremely lucky to drop the bear with a 9mm, and I mean extremely lucky. Typically a large male would just shrug it off no problem. They may die some time later, but you were lucky with shot placement.

>>835872
I was lucky, I can't deny that. First shot hit the body. Second shot went through the eye socket.

I was also carrying a Browning 300 win mag, but was slung over my shoulder with no round chambered. Pulling the pistol was instinctive and fast, but maybe not the best choice.

It was deffinetly a large male. I skinned him with skull and genatalia intact with pelt. Took to game and fish as per procedure. Is now hanging on my den wall.

>>835876
Post dem glorious pics

>>835245
Are you being racist because he's black??

>>836088
No thats his name

Ursa negro

>>831379
kick it in the nuts
works every time

>>836169
>camping without a gun
I fucking love Americans. I think without you guys there would be very little humor on the internet!

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>>831548
Here's your (You), you earned it.

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>>836176
Nah Canada but go north and the bears moose and wolves won't think twice about messing your day up

>>831390
How's the kick on that? I imagine 15 rounds while being charged at might be fairly inaccurate.

>>831548
No matter how many times you samefag this post it wont become funny

>>834682
>>836169
thats just how bears give kisses. they are friendly. crazy gun nuts will find any excuse to kill something with their assalt rifles.

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>>831548

lellel

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Lets be honest. You need a Desert Eagle and no less or napalm shotgun rounds.

/thread

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If it's black, call it a nigger
If it's brown, pull the trigger
If it's white, you're dinner

>>831379
Try not to die

>>832004
Never had trouble with the many wild animals of North America, except for when a raccoon attacked my legs and fucked up my jeans in the middle of the night like a bandito. Crazy little fucker; I couldn't get a good shot at him either.

>>832096
why do white people love snitching so much
I can't see you behind your screen, but I know you're white lmao

>>832096
I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6.

Let's all be honest, while we're /out/, none of us WANT to get attacked by a bear. However, do you really want to be caught without one when Yogi just won't go away despite making noise, pepper spray, being desperate, etc?

>>837681
>lmao
Go be 14 somewhere else.

12ga loaded with slugs is probably the best option for stopping a bear in its tracks. If you don't want to lug a shotgun round with you, then a high caliber handgun is necessary. A 10mm glawk is probably sufficient for blacks, if you're in grizzly country then bring a few spare mags. .454 casull is considered the very best option for bear killing handgun cartridges, it has more energy than a 44 mag, and one shot to centre mass should take him down. The recoil is high, but you should be able to control it , it's not a 500s&w. Don't accept lower powered handgun cartridges, if you browse /k/ then you may have heard the story of the guy who magdumped his .45 into a grizzly, only for it to continue charging. He was fortunate enough to bring spare magazines with him. If you're going into the woods, always bring a firearm. Mace has its purpose as a deterrent, but if a bear charges you'll be in want of some real protection. If its against the law to carry on your gay trail, then either don't go there or concealed carry your gun, which might be difficult seeing as you're bringing along a ruger Alaskan. It's better to be judged by twelve than carried by six , after all.

>>837784
As of feb 22, 2010 it shouldn't be illegal to carry unless you live in a bullshit state and go to state parks

>>832096
False

>>837784
A study was recently done, on bear attacks in Alaska.

They studied using guns, using bear spray, and using nothing. Theven study examined aggressive bears, who were deterred from attacking.

Bear spray had a 99% effective rate.

Long guns had a 79% effective rate.

Hand Guns had an 84% effective rate.

Having nothing at all had an 85% effective rate. This included just yelling and making noise.

No people who used bear spray were killed, and only 1 had very minor injuries.

There was something like 12 people killed who used guns, and quite a few more with life altering injuries.

I know people who believe in their fire arms won't give them up, but they are no better than doing nothing.

A bear who is actually aggressive, and attacking, it's very hard to accurately aim, and deliver a shot to the frontal area of a bear to incapacitate it.

Bear spray is simply more effective, and there is now no argument against it. People who carry a gun to determine bears only do it so they "feel" safer, when the facts are facts, and there is no disputing them. If you do dispute them, it shows you're simply too stupid to understand them.

Pointing your finger at a bear and yelling bang is just as effective as pointing a gun and shooting.

No one has ever died in Alaska from a bear after using bear spray.

End of argument.

>>832030
> 357
> long barrel
> "kicks like a mule"
Just stay in your suburbs you fucking fag

>>831379
Shoot him with a shotgun in the head. Twice, just to be sure.

Decided when I was younger that if ever decided to go through with my suicidal thoughts that it would be going out fist fighting a random bear. Worst case scenario, I get myself killed like plan and get a few good hits in on one of those niggers. Best case scenario? I somehow manage to kill a bear with my bear hands (huehuehue) and become a living legend who'll probably get a movie made about him and tons of pussy.

>>837784
>Mace has its purpose as a deterrent, but if a bear charges you'll be in want of some real protection.
this is the dumbest shit i heard.
can you cite a single instance when a maced bear ignored the pepper and continued charging and attacking? because bears sometimes do that when you shoot them.

>>838041
that's a great idea! i suggest polar or kodiak don't even bother with pussy ass black bears that you have to chase around!

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>>834682
>GETOUTTAHEREBEAR!
my sides

>>831399
this flashlight costs 6 bucks on aliexpress

>>837928
Sauce pls

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>>837784
>not using a spear like a man

>>837928
Very good point, why not take both for peace of mind and use it as a very last resort?

>>834682
First video is a sloth bear, not a black bear. Much more dangerous and only in India

>>837928
>Hand Guns had an 84% effective rate.
>Having nothing at all had an 85% effective rate.
kek
murricans btfo

>>832798
Yeah, but this is more of a "Oh shit, I'm being eaten by a bear RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Good thing I have a ______ in my pocket!" kind of thread.

In which case, my answer would be "Charlemagne's zweihander and spear".

>>831379

If you have to (99.99% chance you don't have to)

>Mora

Flamethrower.

>>838111
http://www.outsideonline.com/1899301/shoot-or-spray-best-way-stop-charging-bear

This is an article that references the study, you can find the study from this article, but this article sums it up well enough.

>>831548
This is ridiculous and amazing at the same time.

>>832096
Obama literally signed a federal law forcing all national parks to allow open carry

>>838723
>Obama literally signed a federal law
yeah, lots of them but nothing like what you say. No carry guns in Fed parks allowed.
source: was denied last week and had to leave sidearm in vehicle.

>Park visitors are able to openly carry legal handguns, rifles, shotguns and other firearms per a federal law approved by Congress and signed by President Barack Obama in February 2010.

>The 2010 federal law did not affect other weapons like bows, swords and pellet or BB guns, all of which remain prohibited by the National Park Service.

haha what the fuck

>>838726
That park broke the law and you should report them

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By dawning your Grizzly Bear Battle Armor, of course. This film will teach you to wield such power:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117395/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Always remember, OP. What one man can do another can do.

Tell the bear about your anime collection and watch the life wither out of it

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Send the bear into a spiralling depression to the point where he'll eventually become an hero.

>>837005
>Huge pistol meme
There's a reason hunting shotguns exist senpai

>>831379
if a bear attacks you or comes too close just make cat sounds, like you know when two tomcat face off with each other, hissing and screaming.

bears are lethally afraid of cats and it's a sound humans can emulate well enough with little practice. a big cat the size of a human would be quiet lethal for a bear so it will bug the fuck off.

Never would have expected this when the thread started but I really think the consensus is to use your dick. >>831548

>>838933
Interesting. Source on the cat thing?

>>839181
Of course he doesn't have a source because it's bullshit.

>>831379
Spear

>>831379
Live well. It is the greatest revenge.