What's the best way to catch deer in a crowded suburb?

Shoot with bow and arrow in the middle of the night, drag into your garage

>>815505
But how do I get them to come onto my property. Especially if I've killed their friends there.

>>815519
Buy a block of salt.

Stick a lubed up pocket pussy inside one of those archery deer targets, wait till you see a buck fucking it, run out and slice it's cock off with your gerber machete, then follow the blood trail and strangle it with paracord.

>>815501
With the hood of your car

Jaw traps work well or if you want to keep them around for sexual purposes you can lure them into your backyard and use a net

>>815557
Top kek

Best post on /out/

>>815501

Edward, is that you?

File: 1361465564441.png (43KB, 889x481px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 889x481px

>>815534
And some Deer in Heat might help.
I though I had the story about the guy who harvested Deer in Heat scent and blurred the line between animal husbandry and bestiality, but I was mistaken.
So have this as an amusing warning.

this is during hunting season, of course

>>815501
So you could get a silenced shotgun and use slugs, at a short distance that could mebbe fuck one up enough that it won't run.

You could get a high pound crossbow, that might do the same thing.

You could dig a pit fall trap, but that might not work and be stranger to explain to the neighbors.

Your best bet is to go for a fawn. Those things are weak and helpless. You could snare one and then apply the makeup and lube once you've dragged it into your room. Be careful of the twinkies, deer get worried when they see the cream come out and may bite. You may want to try a hot dog before you put yourself in there.