Scary camping stories post 'em Please no greentext, makes

what is the point of this?

>>807455
Boiling hotdogs in a condom? For the steam I guess.
The question he asked? Stories to tell around the camp fire.
I might try boiling them that way and have a friend test one.

>>807471
Make sure you use a flavored condom. Plain condoms taste gross

eggs are for boiling, condoms are for keeping ticks out of your urethra. don't be mixing them up

>>807420
>Please no greentext, makes telling them hella awkward

If you're incapable of reading or writing greentext you should stay on plebbit

>>807420
>worried about being awkward
>posts a picture of someone boiling a hotdog in a condom

You need to lurk moar, faggot

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>>807420
explain this one then

>Be me
>Be on elk hunt, tenting it
>Go to bed
>Get to sleep
>Wake up at midnight
>There is a giant fucking nose sniffing maybe two feet from my head right outside the tent
>Shit sleeping bag
>Sperg out, waking buddy up, trying to get gun
>Think it's a bear
>Find 357 mag blackhawk
>Ready to kill some shit
>Sniffing sounds start moving away from tent
>Wait until they sound far enough away for me to open tent and react to whatever
>Open tent
>It's somebody's fucking hunting dog that got lose
>Fuck, I feel like a retard

>>808319
>357 mag blackhawk
>feel like a retard

Of this I have no doubt. Good thing you brought your hand cannon though Tex, almost had to put a stray dog down. Chug bleach.

>>808336
I would like to hear your legitimate opinion on what is wrong with the Ruger Blackhawk. Or the .357 Magnum.

>Be me
>Camping in tent
>hear tapping on tent flap
>Piss sleeping bag
>Hear scratching noise
>Zipper starts getting pulled open
>"Hey anon, did you want popcorn?"
>"N-No, Dad, I'm supposed to be in the wilderness!"
>"Okay anon, well, come inside if you get tired of 'the wilderness.'"

>>807420
>hella
you're from the bay area aren't you

not that interesting but
>be me, 18
>chilling in tent at night w/ friends
>see bright ass light shine through tent
>ruhroh.jpg
>"park rangers, please come out yadda yadda"
>friend goes out to talk with them
>suddenly realize we brought alcohol
>we're all under 21
>thisistheend.jpg
>friend somehow talks them out of checking our things
>"be safe, have a good night guys"
>they go away

I need to go camping more often so I could have more interesting stories to tell...

>>808319

>animal trained to kill sniffing at you while sleeping
>wanting to shoot it an over reaction

Pick one

>>808353
lmao

>>808353
noice.

>>808377
It's called being woken up in the woods, you dumb fuck.

>>808373
Drinking ages r so fucked up. Goddamn nanny state.

>>808490
>Shoot first ask questions later guise, it's the murrican way!

uh huh...

>>808336
kill yourself, you dumb faggot.

>>808373
park rangers are the only real threats you have to watch out for, just about all of them are perverts that took that job so they can jack off outside peoples tents and spy on people.

the rest of the time they spend writing citations for stupid shit to generate revenue so they can continue masterbating in the woods like the pedophiles they are.

>>808353
kek

>>807420
Are you putting those hotdogs in condoms to simulate how your dick fits in them?

>>807420
>making the mistake of posting a pic more interesting than your thread
>spitting on the cherished tradition of greentext storytelling

>>>/plebbit/

>>811620
this. the bayeux tapestry features greentext, 45,000 year-old aboriginal cave paintings have greentext. there's greentext graffiti etched on the bathroom walls in pompeii. and suddenly greentext isn't good enough for OP and his shit thread? fuck m8.

>>811623
Have you ever read the shit the wrote in pompeii? It's hilarious.

>>811626
yeah someone's mom sucks the best and various references to little dicks and drunkards and whatnot. those romans were good cunts, bit sassy

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>>808292
What upsets me most is that the hot dog won't even get any of them sweet sear marks on it from the pan. Useless.

>>808887
Where do I apply?!

>>808377
>animal trained to kill sniffing at you while sleeping
>animal trained to kill
stop

>>808337
different anon, but i think the point is that it's overkill tex. just get some bear mace.
>>808540
go back to /b/

>>808292
>explain this one then

it's your penis anon.

>>811710
Is it all guns you /out/spies despise or just the useful ones?

Bear spray just makes for spicy bear shit.

>>811734
bear sprey works, guns are for hunting. /k/ommando's ruin /out/ with /pol/ tier bullshit.

>inb4 hippy and liberal bashing

you'll just prove my point.

>>811736
If you look at the numbers guns are used to successfully defend ones self from large predators, with no harm to the user, more than spray is used entirely. I understand if you don't like guns,I get it, not everyone likes them. But why shit on the guy for not wanting to be eaten?

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>>811739
>It's coming right for us!

>>811739
>not wanting to be eaten?
>stray dog
uwotm8?

>>812109
>Just shoot it in the leg