Im taking my 5 year old and wife to a state campground tonight.

>>1074711
Teach the boy how to build a fire then roast marshmallows. Fun for the whole senpai. Go on a hike and bang your wife in the woods.

>>1074712
Pretty good advice right here.

>>1074712
She did rape me this morning so she owes me one innawoods

>>1074711
go to big 5 or walmart and get a super cheap pair of 4x binoculars. cheap so you won't care if they get broken, and 4x is low enough power that it's always at least sort of in focus.

File: chyna.jpg (20KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 480x480px

>>1074719
I have a cheap monocular from Chyna he can break if he wants. Good idear.

>>1074711
take them on a hike and keep the kiddo engaged-make up a scavenger hunt, take breaks to talk about what you see, bring snacks, have them look for animals, throw rocks in the creek.

>>1074711
I like to bring chalk in the woods and make art on rocks. Non toxic and non permanent. Probably fun for kids too.

>>1074712
bug repellent wipes (fuck spray) and sunscreen.

>>1074727
That's pretty stupid

play poohsticks
build a raft
build a shelter
dam/ divert/ canals on a creek

We of the Order of the Straight Arrow call upon the spirit Wemantanyay. Protector of the sacred ground, that brings us cool water to drink and energy efficient clean burning propane gas for all our sacred heating and cooking needs! Wemantanyay says respect the Earth, she's ours, by God, our taxes paid for her. Also, uh, it says here you gotta love all her creatures. Uh, let's see. Oh, here we go. Though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you're gonna reccomend us to the spirit in the sky. With liberty and justice for all. Wemantanye is with you, and with Texas. Amen.

File: relax.jpg (23KB, 564x423px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 564x423px

>>1074711

>>1074711

Go next weekend again for the Perseid meteor shower.

File: 20170805_185218.jpg (3MB, 3264x1836px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 3264x1836px

>>1075151
We had a good time but he poked his finger on a thorn and wouldnt stop whining so i called him a pussy and put him in timeout

File: 1500249579887.jpg (208KB, 992x744px) Image search: [Google]

208KB, 992x744px

>>1074711
lel where do you find these pics?

windy beach-camping +fire + tinderbox hair = tragic accident

>>1074711
You have a 5 year old wife?

>>1075810
You don't?

>>1074711
Molest them, murder them then bury them in a shallow grave

>>1074712
>Go on a hike and bang your wife in the woods.
This

>>1075102
What movie is this from?

>>1075102
I got that reference

>>1076463
King of the hill.

>>1075735
Www dot google dot com forward slash images

>>1074711
>intially read this as "im taking my 5 year old wife"

File: 1498616342664.png (145KB, 400x367px) Image search: [Google]

145KB, 400x367px

>>1076793
>he thinks I was being literal

thx for your service captain obvious

>>1077053
>he thinks i was being literal

Make sure you shoot em in the back of the head

>>1074877
Why? would you rather he use spray paint? Or build cairns?