>been friendless shut in autist most of life >live in bay

>>1040826
>How do you go /out/ without anyone to do it with guys?

I don't. Same boat as you anon.

I used to go /out/ solo all the time but...there's something about sharing it with someone that makes it so much better. I still do it to decompress occasionally but there's nothing like sharing a campfire or hiking in with a friend.

>how can i build up motivation to leave my house

I live in Marin hbu

>>1040855
you can make fun but look at
>>1040837
as well

there's something about doing these things that you should be doing with other people alone that kills you. i understand the whole "being one with nature" and all that and the peacefulness of it, but there's a difference between deciding on your own to be alone, and doing it out of necessity since you have no one else.

also being out and seeing people there with their friends, SO, et that kills you

>>1040857
hayward

>>1040826
Just take longer and longer walks until you're comfortable with your own company.
Stop to sit on a bench by yourself for like half an hour. Being alone isn't the end of the world.

>>1040863
You guys who have people and can do these things alone voluntarily don't get it

I'm fine with being by myself. I actually find most people to be pretty annoying (bad reflection on myself, I know). The real problem is seeing the external stuff where no matter where you go everyone is with their friends, their boyfriend/girlfriend/etc, and you're the creep there alone

it's one thing to go by yourself places because, say, you're tired out from so much stuff with people you've been doing and just want some peace. It's another to be forced to do it because no one wants to be around you

>>1040868
But I don't have friends.
I'm just not a bitch about it.

>>1040870
Honestly I'm only a bitch about it when it comes to these beautiful weekends when i do nothing

Do you do /out/ stuff alone?

>>1040877
I go on nature walks alone if that counts. Too much of a pussy to camp alone.
But there's lots of /out/ stuff you could do alone. Fishing, hunting, metal detecting, fossil hunting, etc.

>>1040826
I'm staying in San Jose for the summer, we should arrange a camping trip or some shit.

>>1040826
There's no difference between loneliness /out/ and loneliness in town in my experience.

>>1040826
>anything you could want in /out/
but not arctic environments

Out is a great to meet people. Just because you go out solo doesn't mean you have to spend all your time solo.

Have the same problem. I've been getting more and more into the idea of camping and taking long hiking trips, but I can't think of anyone to do it with. I usually take walks, and can walk for 2-3 hours at a time alone, but feel like I need someone else to tag along to start being serious about it. The ideal would be someone who knows his way around this kind of stuff since I'm kind of a rookie, but just having a friend to teach it together with would be great too.

Anyway, if nothing happens in a year or so I'll probably have to start doing it on my own anyways, but right now I'm not motivated enough and also too much of a pussy to go camping alone

>>1040910
>just having a friend to teach it together with
that's supposed to be learn together with

>>1040902
in the winter, we have the sierra nevadas with snow

>>1040910
Check one of those friend finder sites?

>>1040912
Pretty big difference compared to, say, Lapland.
Anyway, California is beautiful and incredibly varied. I just have a fetish for everything north of the taiga line.

>>1040916
While I'm not as autistic as OP describes himself, I'm certainly too autistic to solicit a stranger online to camp with me

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What don't people get about meeting people. You have to leave your house and meet people to make friends. This will require you to embark on a solo activity. Sitting around your home feeling shit about not having friends isn't going to solve the issue. Either that or do what I did it, stop caring about it. Just enjoy being alone and realise that you don't need other people to enjoy yourself.

>>1040826
>/out/ solo

it is incredibly lonely. I suggest you get a partner or two to go with you. Do all the planning, prep, gear, etc. Make it enjoyable, they'll want to go again. Solo is only enjoyable if you've been doing it a long long time.

>>1040920
thats not how normal people meet people. they already have friends and plan to do the activity together. they way they got those original friends was through work or school, then they found more through mutual friends. its rare for someone to actually go outside and befriend a stranger. you need good social skills for that, which people with no friends typically dont.

Go on a thru hike! Seriously you will meet so many people and make friends, even as an autist. I failed at my attempt this year, but still did 400 miles and met so many amazing people. You can go it alone too, most people start by themselves. It boosts people opinion back home, people think it's so cool and if you're a shut in not doing fuckall, people will think you're finally doing something awesome

>>1040920
Are you suggesting i run out into the forest and try to goad random strangers into camping with me?

>>1040920
It doesn't work like that though. You have to have friends to make friends

You can't be a friendless person and just randomly go out and find groups of people there with each other as friends and try to pry yourself in there. It especially doesn't work as a feidnless person because it means you likely have shit social skills

It's always been the Catch-22 of my friendless life

If you don't have friends you need to go out and find them. But if you go out you usually just end up alone anyway because you're already alone and no one wants to talk to the alone creep

>>1040931
Yeah, this exactly. Day hikes aren't as good of a foundation as a thru-hike for making friends, you literally have no choice but to meet people on those trails.

>>1040920

Unless you live where you grew up or went to school, or work in an awesome industry, this isn't really like to happen this way.
Even if you DO have friends, the large majority of people don't care for camping as much as they like to pretend. "camping" to the average person is pre-paying for a gravel site or glamping. "Hiking" is a 2 hour jaunt through the local trail most accessible by car.

I have friends, but somehow every time we make even semi serious plans to go /out/, they mysteriously fall through if the plan requires over nighting or a modicum of effort.
I think the reality of this thread is it's difficult to luck into good /out/ friends unless you grew up with them or work at Patagonia. And even if you do find a small handful of people, you don't get to be choosy.

>>1040868
No offense, but you don't sound like a very fun person. Stop brooding over the "forever alone, no one likes me" stuff and go /out/. Greet the people you meet on the trail. If you both happen to take a break or something at the same location, make light conversation. Stop assuming that everyone thinks less of you and engage with them.

>>1040910
Where do you live, faggot? If you're near by and promise to not be an aspie, I'll teach you how to drink whiskey around a fire.

>>1040929
>>1040936
>>1040945
What do you have to lose by trying?

When I started going /out/ and doing day hikes in the weekend people were almost lining up to come with me after a few weeks. I post pictures on social media like facebook, snapchat and insta and had about 10 replies of people that wanted to come hiking with me everytime I post. For me it was a lead by example kind of thing, hobbies are ridiculed in this day and age because they became redundant because of the internet of things and gaming. But when you show people something real they'll want to try it too, It's like that with every hobby I've ever done. Granted, 9 out of 10 times it's people that say they'll join you but never will but right now I have 3 hardcore hiking friends that come with me almost every week and about 6 people that join us occasionally. Not saying this will work anytime but sometimes you need to take the wheel and just do what you like doing and people will follow.

>>1040951

This sounds like one of those "Why don't you just stop being depressed?" conversations. You're missing the root of the problem, being that A; I have tried and B; after trying for so long, you get tired of it, and start losing the willpower to do it altogether.

>>1040949
Appreciate the offer, but odds are you don't live in Sweden

>>1040960
I'm solo thru-hiking the kungsleden in a month, if you want you could join up with me for the whole thing or a part of it.

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>>1040929
>>1040934
>>1040936
>>1040945
It's worked for me is all I'm saying. I lost contact with pretty much all my school and university friends as I am no good/don't care to maintain relationships over long distances. Work mates are just that, work mates. I enjoy spending working hours with them but that is all the interaction I want with them. The people I currently spend time with, go /out/ with, hang out with etc were all met on my solo adventures.

>>1040951
This guy gets it.

>>1040931
As this anon says I am not suggesting you go and accost people on day hikes. You need to go out and put yourself in situations that allow you to bond with new people.

>>1040897
fuck yea

berkeley here

>>1040964
Man that looks sweet. Unfortunately I'll be away on vacation next month

>>1040954
>has facebook, instagram, snapchat

hehe yeah

>>1040972
Aye, just like everyone else in Sweden.

Not that anon, but I moved to Sweden recently. What are your favoured areas in Sweden? I've only explored Varnens isles and want something different this summer.

>>1040983
>Varnens isles
Never heard of it. Or is that Vänern?

In any case, all parts of Sweden have nice nature. There are 29 national parks and they're spread over the entire country. Personally, I love Norrland because icy landscapes and fir forests get me hard. And since I live in Stockholm I love Skärgården too, but to fully enjoy that you'd need your personal boat.

>>1040948
>Stop assuming that everyone thinks less of you and engage with them.

given ive gone two and a half decades like this, i think its fair to assume that people think less of me

>>1040955
Sitting at home being bummed about it isn't going to make it better.

>>1040990

No, but continuing to do something that doesn't work won't help either.

>>1040951
>What do you have to lose by trying?
you missed the point

>the lottery is a bad method to gain money
>what do you have to lose by trying?

>>1041002
>>1041007
Sounds like you guys are so convinced that you're unfriendable that you're giving off unfriendable vibes.

>>1041026

It's not about being unfriendable, its about opportunity. I already know I won't make friends by nosing into people on the trail, because ive tried. I'm trying to understand where to find /out/ people in my everyday life. Because it hasn't been at work, and I don't have any not work friends.

I tried meetup but that was just old people.

>>1041026
Let me tell you how it generally works as a friendless autist (like legit friendless, not "omg i moved to a new city after college yesterday and dont have friends yet im such a loser")

>lose friends
>without friends, don't have people to do stuff with
>without people to do stuff with, you get isolated
>isolation leads to a bad attitude (get angry, unhappy, etc) that you can't even fake yourself out of
>bad attitude rubs off on others and they don't like you as a result
>cycle continues
>then you go out and try to leave house and see everyone around you with their friends, their relationships, and you realize you're even more of a pariah and you go shut-in to avoid seeing everyone elses' happiness

This thread belongs on /soc/ or /adv/. Mods, please do your job.

>>1040826
Jesus Christ is coming back soon, people. The day of judgement is drawing nigh...

>>1041034
Look and see if your area has any kind of volunteer programs that you could get involved with. Theres a pretty big thing nearby where people get together and help out with trail maintenance and shit like that. Thats a pretty good way to meet /out/ related people.

Jesus people... The problem is you, not anything else if you're too much of an autist to go outside. If you give two shits about what some random couple thinks about you, you have bigger issues than just being a shut in.

As soon as you stop giving a fuck your life will become much better.

In my situation I have friends, but my friends are either:
>faggots who don't like doing shit outside
>faggots who I wouldn't want to do shit with for an extended period
>like doing shit outside, but fell for the kids meme so they get like 1 weekend a year where they can do fun things without the wife and kid.

So instead of feeling bad about myself for not having a wife and kid to eat up my life, I go out and do the same shit I always did, but alone. It's still fun for me, I just consume less alcohol.

>>1040826
Most people go outdoors to be alone. I live my whole life being different people, and it wasn't until I was fishing at quarter 5 in the morning on a completely empty Canadian lake where the sunrise turned the thick fog into an orange cloud that I finally realized who I was.

Do it for yourself because you like it.

You already sit in your house alone in front of a screen.

>>1040986
Exactly, Vänern.
Yeah same, I'm in Bromma

I've been down to Tyresta once or twice and it seems nice and not too far away but very very popular.
Can you realistically camp in most places if you are not a moron about it (ie, camping in someone's yard)?

I camp by myself for the specific perpose of being far away from anyone else. Only person I'd ever go with is a girl for the sweet late night tent sex. Everyone else can get lost

>>1040826
>without anyone to do it with
if you get lonely and seeing others enjoying things together wrecks you, you're not a true autist, just an asshole.
>on a coastal cliff, other people there, couples, a family with kids.
>Occasionally you'd see whales breaching. >Whenever anyone would see anything interesting, they'd look to another to point it out, to share it.
>Not me though. My self-contained quiet affords me a kind of aloof glamour.
>point out a turtle for the kids of the family group, in a quiet, gruff but friendly voice.
>walk down a steep cliff trail with them, talking about stuff, hear them refer to me as Clint Eastwood.
i make friends everywhere i go, if anything feels wrong i split. Real autist though, don't ever get lonely, just understand the people who do.
Very often feel more like a critter of the wilds than a person, being solo in the outdoors you are very vulnerable and invite suspicion.

>>1040826
You just stay busy out there man. Move around a lot and really exhaust yourself, do something like 10-16km a day, make a unique camp each night, enjoy the time you spend cooking etc. I also love bringing a spoopy book and scaring the fuck out of myself, cause its easy to do alone in the woods. If all of that can't distract you from the fact that nobody is with you, then being out there in the first place just isn't going to help you. If you're in a place where you're still seeing people, then go deeper. Honestly, >>1040897
you can friggin find someone from 4chan to spend time with even. Just don't be super autismo

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>>1041040
Mfw I know those feels all too well

>>1040936
Nigger what? This isnt really /out/ related but more im all alone stuff. I had no friends to go to concerts with so i just went to concerts alone. I did that for like half a year before a few people started to recognize me from other concerts and started talking to me. I wasnt looking for friends, but made some just because i was out there alot. Nearly everybody i know now i met because I started going to concerts alone. I still go so some shows alone and im still meeting people that just recognize me from other shows. I now have a decent group of friends and belong to this small concert scene. Where everyone ok knows everyone.

Just fucking go out and do what you like doing. If you're really into it, and keep doing it, and are comfortable about it. Youll probably befriend a few people. You dont need friends to make friends you dumb faggot.

The easiest way to find people to do /out/ shit with is to go places where people are doing /out/ things, take classes on shit like kayaking or rock climbing or even fucking archery/shooting. Now your in an environment with people that have a similar interest in whatever shit you picked and have a reason to strike up a conversation. Even if your alresdy proficient at it then you can give pointers to people and start a friendship that way.

I'm not saying it's easy, but it you can bring yourself to go out then you've already won half the battle

I've met some cool ass dudes I go fishing with occasionally just from going to a shooting range every now and then.

>>1041608
>>Can you realistically camp in most places if you are not a moron about it (ie, camping in someone's yard)?

Yeah, you can. Look up "allemansrätten"

>>1042227
Careful what classes you take. A bunch of them are mainly kids or sedentary people looking to be hand held through the outdoors. In the Bay Area, I'd bet a bunch of these are just traps for techies with no /out/ experience.

So be careful about what you pick to do. Something like WFR certification or other more advanced classes might be more interesting.

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>>1040868
I actually feel this feels too, most of time I just don't care though. Last 20/30 times I went to the beach I went alone because fuck it I love it there I'm going to enjoy myself.
But yeah there's usually lots of couples and they probably don't give a fuck, big groups may comment between themselves but nothing else.
And actually there's usually more people there alone, very unfortunately they're like 90% of the time old dudes (40+). Finding girls alone at the beach is getting harder by the year. In trails I've see a couple though.

For me where it sucks the most is social activities like music festivals or city events, places like that do suck balls for loners. People get drunk and obnoxious and you're the guy drinking a couple beers and staring at your phone all the time. Trust me I've done it in the past.

I'm the one to blame to have turned into a solitaire anon. Despite knowing a decent amount of people I spent my entire life around the same group of friends, and as expected people matured and changed as the age goes by, so despite we being often together to go to dinners and shit, we don't share the same /out/ interests, plus many of them married so it changes things even more. Meanwhile that I pulled away every decent woman in my life because I was stupid and was only interested in sex rather than find a nice relationship.

Either way life is pretty good though so is all fine.

Sorry for the wall of text.

>>1042760
>I was stupid and was only interested in sex rather than find a nice relationship.
whats the stupid part? being in a relationship is the quickest way to lose your hobby time. I fell for the meme once. met girl at the river fishing. Said she loved to fish, so every weekend when I wanted to go fishing she always said "nah not today" while i had to either not go or listen to her bitch about it later if i did.

if you're too lonely to live without someone else in your life then you will have to accept that you will no longer be able to go /out/ whenever you want to

>>1042787
>whats the stupid part?
The stupid part was coming across pretty nice girls that were really into me and tell them to fuck off because nobody got time to listen to them bitches and their desires and then you get to your late twenties and every nice woman is taken, the ones left are either whores or mentally defective.

>>1040862
I used to live in Hayward, Fairway Park, you are 5-6 hours from some seriously prime targets.

/out/ alone is simple. First day is a little depressing, but beyond that it is all gravy. Key is to stay busy, keep moving, etc... sitting around in basecamp for hours before theen sets is a good way to get thinking way too much. Sometimes that's good, often it is not.

What's you guys hangup? DESU I think you either got it in you to go solo or you don't. I had boyhood wilderness fantasies, read that genre vicariously, dreamed of being in Gary PauHatchet, etc...

I have gotten enough "wtf why do you go solo??" replies from people to know for certain this isn't usual behavior. I love my mountain marathons, take 1-2 days off, get up 0300 Thu drive 5-10 hours to trailhead, hike/camp, next day hike camp (Etc...), marathon drive back home. If you're in Hayward you have some decent sub 6 hour targets nearby for a pure we. Get up 0300 hit the road 0330, to the trail by 1000... sleep deprived and running on pure adrenaline until you finally crash at 2300 surrounded by a mystery world. An unbeatable experience, but yeah... definitely not for everyone haha.

>>1042227
it's all old people, I've never seen young people at those classes

>>1040979
If that is your comment on my post it's really no wonder you don't have any friends, as a matter of fact I don't think you earn anything better than your friendless life.

>>1042793
>then you get to your late twenties and every nice woman is taken, the ones left are either whores or mentally defective
Spoken like a true loser. If you actually believe that you're doomed

>>1043253
>Implying it's not true
Yeah there are still nice women /out/ there but you can't argue that the better ones didn't settled already.

>>1043284
You talk about women like the women in chick flicks talk about men. Get a hold of yourself, stop being a complete bitch and be a man for once in your life.

>>1043288
Ok specialist, tell me where I said something wrong.

>>1040868
>It's another to be forced to do it because no one wants to be around you
This is entirely your fault though. If it's a physical thing, clean the fuck up you dirty rat. If it's a mental thing, work on your social skills you autismo. You just have to improve yourself to a version that people would want to be around with. Hint: it's not that hard, people are fucking easy to socialize with.

>>1043301
I don't care about what you said, but how you sound like a whiny little bitch with everything you say. Either accept it and move on or don't and try to find a girl that's worth it to you, the self-pity and whining is just too much. What are you hoping to achieve by blaming the world to try to justify your non-action on a Mongolian stamp collection board? Either do or do not but don't be a homo that can't take responsibility.

>>1043363
>Either do or do not but don't be a homo that can't take responsibility.
I'm going to get this framed.

>>1043363
First and foremost seek anger management classes that no one normal gets as mad as you're right now because of some random discussion on the internet. Now that we set that aside let me tell you that I'm not blaming no one other than myself for my actual situation, as stated in my first post in this thread. See
>I'm the one to blame to have turned into a solitaire anon.

That being said, it's an unarguably fact that as you and get older the market gets worse too.
If you have a car dealership selling 60 great cars, 20 good ones and another 20 that crashed before the chances are that the ones arriving first get a better pick. Now the way you directed your life towards that moment is your own responsibility, no one denying that.

>>1043405
Some true shit. The older you get in the singles game the worse the girls will be. One possible way to get around this is joining a church or religious group, there can be some attractive non women there waiting for the right guy.

>>1043405
Fuck me, there you go again being a little fucking fag.

>I'm not blaming no one other than myself for my actual situation
This is what I mean, talking about your situation like some single mom on Oprah. Learn to read, I wasn't talking about your 'situation' or how you ended up there. I was talking about you whining about your situation and not either doing anything about it or accepting it like a man. I don't care about the single market either, so I'm not gonna bother replying to that.

>>1043442
Fair enough.

Is there a zeemaps type thing for out to meet others ?