Why aren't these a thing? I feel like there's money

Seems cumbersome to put away when you need to get into a building/vehicle.

>>1032634
Because nobody wants a bunch of cold plastic to the face every time it's gusty. A regular umbrella or a rain jacket are more practical options.

This is one of solutions to a problem nobody has.

>>1032642
Would taking a few seconds be so cumbersome? People spend a lot longer on much dumber shit.


>>1032643
Not at all. A regular umbrella does a shit job of protecting you from heavy rain. Lots of people have the problem of not liking getting rained on and having limited options to avoid it.

>>1032647
What happens when you need to enter a building and you take it of, Where are you going to put it, If you have a water proof bag to store it good luck trying to do it while holding your umbrella trying to stay dry and then you need to fold the umbrella and to leave you have to do the same, Umbrellas as they are are fine, If it's not keeping you dry get a wider one, Still don't like it wear water proofs or wear a mac as well as an umbrella.
It might be fin if you don't use it in a major city but I'd still rather just open and close an umbrella.
Big ponchos should be more mainstream

>>1032634

>wind

>>1032674
>>1032679
does /out/ have no reading comprehension? These things were covered in the very first post. A roll/slide up mechanism would NOT be particularly difficult, hence storage isn't either. And there are wind resistant materials, believe it or not.

I say it again, there's definitely a demographic of people who don't like to get rained on and have few ways of avoiding it. Umbrellas are shit in heavy rain. Water proofs are expensive if you give a shit about quality and easily more impracticable if you're wearing full gear then need to change at work or wherever.

>>1032634
>Why aren't these a thing?
They are, you stupid fuck.

>>1032748
T-R-I-G-G-E-R-E-D

>>1032634
who the fuck is So scared to get a little wet they need more than a waterproof jacket and an umbrella.
fuck just stay home FOR THE REST OF YOUR GOD DAMN PATHETIC MISERABLE LITTLE LIVES IF STAYING ABSOLUTELY DRY IS THAT FUCKING IMPORTANT TO THEM

FUCK THIS GAY EARTH

>>1032687
>there's definitely a demographic of people who don't like to get rained on

CYANIDE CAPSULES EXIST FOR A REASON

>>1032634
As soon as it gets even a little bit windy that shit would be pressed up against your legs and tripping you up constantly
And water would condense on the inside like crazy, getting you wet anyway, and it would probably fog up from your breath to the point it would actually be hard to see

>>1034859
>people trip over it because it gets all tangled up in their feet while walking
>they cant see shit because its all fogged up inside
>they trip and fall into oncoming traffic
>get hit by bus and killed
>huge lawsuit bankrupts company and makers face stiff prison sentences for wrongful death suits in civil court
>OP identified as primary accessory to negligent homicide in wrongful death suits

hope you enjoy life in prison OP

>>1034859
>As soon as it gets even a little bit windy that shit would be pressed up against your legs and tripping you up constantly
easy fix just line the bottom with 10 pounds of lead weight to keep it hanging straight down, like your shower curtain
>water would condense on the inside like crazy, getting you wet anyway, and it would probably fog up from your breath to the point it would actually be hard to see
simple solution: for an extra $100 your new umbrella can come with a built in defroster motor and windshield wipers. only adds 6 pounds to overall umbrella weight, and the 12 volt car battery power supply can easily be carried being you in a wheeled suitcase

god you people are such negative Nancies.
I've got a real money maker here and all you people can do is think of bad things that might not even happen

>>1034870
>carried being you
*behind you

File: image.jpg (24KB, 233x233px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 233x233px

>>1032634
those arent a thing because they're stupid as shit

>>1032634

Makes it tricky to draw my sword. Priorities.

>>1035912
make a sword hole.

it will protect against those nasty bloodspatters..

>>1032679
>>1032643
Literally put metal rings around the cylinder and the wind won't bother it. The only issue is that it will Be pretty heavy - in that case, work out

>>1036000

Have you ever tried to draw a sword in an umbrella cozy? It blocks your hand and arm whilst you draw it forth from the scabbard.

I mean, let's be practical here.

>>1032634

Imagine being trapped inside that thing along with all the humidity.

>>1035912
Also it makes it harder for people to see you actually tipping your Fedora before you teleport behind them and unsheath your Katana