These 2 trees here are blocking my view of water, but anything

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>>1024180

>rent electric chainsaw
>go at night
Whole thing is chopped in under a minute, GTFO

>>1024180
>Fucking up what's not yours
I hope you get caught and some grunt goes to your home and fucks your wife to see how do you like messing around with what does not belong to you.

>>1024185

Don't listen to this guy, OP. You'll be the first person they suspect.

Dig up the roots at night and hack them all up. Maybe splash some street of plant killer in then as well and then bury the roots again. Once the trees are dead you can take pictures of them and remove them.

If anyone asks about them you can show them your evidence of why they were removed.

>>1024185
Yeah when the neighbors hear an electric chainsaw at night, they won't call the police or anything.

You can get charged for this and if they want to be dicks, especially if you use herbicides or gas or something, they can bring the EPA in.

I'd suggest learning to live with it. Especially since I'm sending a screenshot of this thread and your images to the Army Corps of Engineers letting them know that if trees are suspiciously removed or vandalized, here is documentation of the motive and the culprit's view.

I don't take tree vandalizing or removal for aesthetic purposes lightly. You done goofed.

>>1024200
>hear an electric chainsaw
They aren't very loud. Wait for the next big storm and drop it into the water. Do you think the army is going around accounting for missing trees and suspicious stumps? Be realistic.

Don't use tree killer because it'll get in the water you dumb fuck. You're gonna pollute shit because you can't see the water? Are you fucking ignorant. Go in the water then you will be able to see it.

>>1024206

>implying

I don't think the Corp is going to care much about a couple of shit trees.

If he can kill them without using poison or chemicals then I'm sure they'll be removed the next time someone does a check of the shoreline.

Just don't make it look obvious.

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>>1024180
>These 2 trees here are blocking my view of water

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>GETTING A REPORT OF UNNATURAL LIGHT PATTERNS NEAR ANONS HOUSE IN BUMFUCKVILLE EGYPT
>NINER SIX WE GOTTA MISSING TREE IN DELTA QUADRANT E39X
>WE'RE SPOTTING SOME STUMP DISTURBANCE FROM SATELLITE
>GET A BIRD OVER HERE ASAP SIXTY NINER OUT

>psssshh SERGEANT WE ARE OVERHEAD, CONFIRMING FOLIAGE DISTURBANCE AROUND ANONS YARD

>THIS FUCKS GOING STRAIGHT TO GUANTANAMO, OVER AND OUT

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Mount a set of beaver teeth on some heavy-duty pruners and go to work, OP.

it's overgrown because the army doesn't give a fuck about it. We do training at an army base and literally started a fire with cs gas and range control was like meh, it happens.

Unless you get caught in the act, I don't think it'll matter too much.


have you tried asking?

>>1024231
you must not be familiar with the corps of engineers.

>>1024241
Having worked with a bunch of DoD people but not corp of engineers, I feel like they either

A) give absolutely 0 fucks about it
B) give a stupid amount of fucks about it, far beyond any rationality

Like if you never see them out there I don't see why you couldn't just go cut them down. If you do see them out there and they do shit out there/monitor the land then maybe they do care a lot. Have you tried asking them? Depending on how they're using the land they may be totally fine with it, maybe do it for you when they're out there trimming shit.

Of course it might take 10 forms and 6 months until you get permission for tree removal to be performed by a pre-cultivated list of approved contractors based out of Langley VA who have passed tree cutting approval standards set forth in a 1980s act by Congress, but that's just my Air Force experience talking.

Legit just cut it down during the night and don't get spotted.
What are they gonna do? Say you did it?
Proof is a bitch, I know a coke addict stole 300 bucks from my bag, but guess what, can't do shit about it because I didn't see her do it.

>>1024180
Why don't you just ask them to handle it or if you can do it.

>>1024206
As someone who works for the EPA (a state not federal) we are so undermanned right now especially with summer. The division of surface water would be the ones who go in due to possible herbicide or chemicals in the water and something this small no one will check. We have two people who do shit like that for 10 counties and its not even their primary job.

Tldr if you cut it down no one will give a shit, especially if your neighbors want it gone too. It will likely only get investigated if someone files a complaint.

>>1024180
What makes you think that the Corps of Engineers "owns" the trees? The trees are the property of the landowner. The Corps doesn't hold title to land.
The last time I read part 404 of the Clean Water act (uhhh, Tuesday or Wednesday) it was not illegal to cut vegetation above ground level in a regulated wetland or along waters of the United States, i.e. areas under jurisdiction of the Corps.

>>1024208
>What is Rodeo herbicide?
Glyphosphate labeled for use in and around surface water.

>>1024364
Me again. Corps DOES own the property in my town where their local office is. So if it's their property, good luck. Just for trespass they'll probably charge you with terroism or some other extreme totalitarian communist bullshit and toss you into FPMITA prison. Or girdle the trees, paint on some dicamba, and wait.

tordon herbicide should do it and it's pretty easy to get ahold of

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>>1024180
>These 2 trees here are blocking my view of water

Call the USACE office and tell them the US-owned tree is inhibiting the nabigability of the jurisdictional waters of the US, so they have to cite themselves or remove the tree and report it to themselves.

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>>1024225

>beaver teeth

Whe're you getting those from?

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>>1024180
Why don't behave like an adult and just ask them politly?

Just remove a ring of bark around the trunk. Wait for it to die then crack up about it being a dangerous dead tree. Or you could syringe a load of creosote into the cambiam or something.


I guess your only other option is to not be a massive chode and deal with it.

>>1024407
>Use statute to your advantage
This negro gets it.

wait until a night with a storm/strong wind, then go and pull the tree down by hand or with some ropes and pullies

no one will think anything of a fallen tree after a storm

you could make this easier by every couple nights drilling a hole into the branch to make it break easier

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>>1024189

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>>1024640
>drilling a hole

Drill the holes in the trunk, mimicking the patterns of woodpeckers, then squeeze a dab of stump-b-gone in each hole. Drill through the sapwood to the heartwood.

>>1024411
What is the Bone Room?

>http://www.boneroom.com/store/p308/Beaver_Incisors_%28Pack_of_5%29.html

>>1024180
>set phone and stand and record trees
>run down in mask and chop them down
>report to police that masked man chopped down trees
they will never suspect that it's you

Why dont you just ask the owners of the property.. you fucking useless baby.

>>1024180
bring in some foreign beetle to take care of it

>>1024180
Ring the trees. They'll die and then the army will remove them for you.

>>1024180
Mane an hole with a drill near the roots, buy some strong herbicide and pour that shit in the hole.

It will die sooner or later that way.

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...Ask them?

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>>1024222
Yes!

>>1025464
>dump a bunch of strong herbicide directly into a body of water

fucking degenerates, kys

>>1024222
>Over and Out

You can only be one or the other, not both

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I am going to spike that tree, anon.

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All there fuddlore ways to kill tress is bullshit. Pic related is the only way to kill a tree but its gonna take a while. My vote is a hand saw in the middle of the night and play dumb if anyone asks you about it

>get salt rock and sling shot
>shoot it at base of roots
>salt kills tree

>this thread

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>>1026479
it takes an entire season cycle to kill em this way, but it's a sure thing. best to do it at the end of summer or early autumn, when the tree's roots are completely depleted of energy, but before the tree begins hibernation.

however, once the tree dies it'll stay standing for perhaps years without intervention. pic related, girdled this motherfucker back in the late 90s.

>>1026681
The idea being you have standing dry wood for use later. Also your tree is much bigger then OPs and his is by water plus it will look dead and will likely be removed by new owners.

>>1026687
I couldn't disagree less with everything you said anon, was just waxing-on about my limited knowledge of girdlin' trees.

Sadly the tree in my pic is turning into a rotten mush heap at this point (hey it's been 20 years) and it's infested with slugs, centipedes, worms, and small mammals.

>>1026689
Yeah, it's still healthy for the ecosystem but once girdled you have a window that depending on your climate could render the tree useless for firewood. The time frame and girdled trees should be passed from father to son but we have progressed passed such knowledge I guess

>>1024182
This tree is clearly not on "land". does the corps own the water ? Cut it down, fuck all you other little faggots.