How do /out/ist wank off without getting caught when they're

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>>1007963
Humans have been jerkin their dicks in the woods for millennia. It's fucked to see kids these days who have no idea who to rub one out in the woods. Here's how to do it:

>go inno the woods.
>find urself a niiice looking rock, or if you're so lucky a dead animal.
>Squat on down about 7-8 paces away
>take yer pants off (if ur wearing any)
>REMEMBER TO SQUAT.
>take our yer beat meat n get to it.

to clean up i use pine needls n leaves n shit.

>>1007963
>find tree that looks like an ass
>rub against it
>bust that nut

I've fucked many a tree in my day.

Lay in tent with vesuble closed. Jerk to pics of wife on phone or if absolutely needed get on pornhub or /gif/ if i have signal and sufficient battery/data. Beat until close to completion, then lean over and stick dick out of tent door and cum into grass between tent and fly. Alternatively if sufficiently alone just do it standing up and nut wherever. I beat dry by just moving the skin so either method is minimal cleanup

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>>1007963
>on a hiking trip many years ago I stealth jerked it in my sleeping bag
>buddy sleeping next to me in two person tent
>mfw looking back on how puberty hormones convinced me to do something like that

>>1007987
We do a lot of weird shit when we're horny.

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When I go camping I just get in the car where it's more comfortable and jack off there.

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>>1007987
>wear overall bibs to school
>it has an easy access pocket without an actual pocket
>sitting in bleachers watching the cheerleaders do their exercises in their workout clothes

>>1007963
The possibility of meeting someone while /out/ here in Norway is 0. I have literally masturbated on mountain tops.

>>1008080
Someone is always there, friend.

>>1008095
>>1008080
>when you touch it Jesus cry

>>1007979
i've got some tree porn if you are interested

I don't get what you mean by getting caught? If you can wank while at home then how can it be a problem when you have a whole fucking forest for yourself.

>>1007963
if i remember correctly, being 16 yold with a gf, her giving me head at about 40 meters of her appartment complex, i was shitting bricks cause the place where she lived was not hidden at all from traffic

>>1007987
haha I did the same thing but my dad was sleeping next to me

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I've had a lot of weird sexual experiences /out/doors because I used to have a 13 year old gf when I was 16. Her parents were really concerned that we would have sex so we would do it in the weirdest of places, not to get caught.
To begin with we both lost our virginity on a public beach together. There was some thick, tall grass growing on the dunes, so we found a little clearing in the grass, put down and blanket and fucked. Shit was fucking scary as we were no more than 20 meters from some ladies sunbathing.
The best fuck we had Imo though was in an old fire lookout tower. We were strolling along and just happened to see it so we decided to climb up it, just for shits n' giggles. When we came up we found that it was quite comfy actually and there was a raised bed in there, with a view through all the windows. Well young and horny as we were, we decide it would be a good place to fuck. We had some really memorable sexual experiences together. Too bad she lived in another country, 1000km away.

>>1008080
>semen stains the mountaintops

>>1007987
he knew

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>>1008146

>>1007963
nature is the least erotic place on the planet, but nothing is sexier than a nice exposed cliff face.

gets me rock hard 100% of the time

>>1008121
>13 y/o

Die fucking pedo! If I was her dad, I'd cut your fucking cock off and choke you to death with it!

>>1007987
Did the same thing with my female cousin sleeping next to me. She was a year younger, I was probably 13 or 14. I'll never know if she knew or not, but shit wasn't awkward the next day or in the years since, so I guess she didn't know or liked it. She probably didn't know. Stealth was likely achieved.

>>1008565
she knew

>>1007963
Start by going somewhere other than your local park. That doesn't count as going /out/
Jail isn't fun.

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>>1007973
/thread

>>1008106
How is that possible? I'm not surprised that it exists (seeing anthropomorphic planes fucking or dinosaurs fucking cars on /b/ will do that)
>>1008192
That's a really good edit

>>1008676
A lot of drugs thats how its possible

Was high as hell and slapped a slightly round tree and I liked the sound density of it and said "damn girl" and then my high mind made the tree feminine and I've been raw dogging trees ever since

They're so majestic

>>1008562
He was 16 at the time anon, nothing really wrong with that.

Fucked my bf in a tent, we were out all alone and there was no chance of anyone seeing us. Bring baby wipes to clean everything else and it seems like a normal thing to bring camping (instead of showers) so it won't raise any questions if someone sees you carrying them.

I've also blown my bf and just swallowed, which isn't my favorite thing to do but a swig of whiskey will wash it down.

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>>1008679
>He probably fucks underage saplings

>>1008706
I prefer big old girls the ones that look so dignified

I feel so powerful to take that dignity ;)

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>>1008146
this is humanities legacy
>tfw no 2100 and no semen will stain asteroids

>>1008684
Just wait until some slobbering rapist is humping your 13 y/o precious flower, tearing her vag open like a fucking pervert.

Unless of course you defend pedos for PERSONAL reasons, like adrimation?

>>1008702
You are one cool dude!

>>1008727
>16 year old fucking a 13 year old
>Pedo
You can't be fucking serious faggot.

>>1008684
Maybe if you're European.

>>1007963
i always try to cum on little fairies.

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>>1008727
>anti pedo
>browsing 4chin

something doesnt add up

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>>1008727
I've taken 14 yo virgin and a 15 yo virgin when I was 16/17. Hot ones too.

>>1009020
was it boipucci at least?

>>1007984
>Jerk to pics of wife on phone

post a few

>>1009020
lol somebodies gotta do it

just not me. ill probably end up killing a bunch of people to make up for it

>>1008562
Well since I'm European it's legal and quite normal, it's just you Americans that are retarded. Besides, she must have hit puberty early because she was the most mature 13 year old I've ever met, she already had C-cups at the time.

>>1008080
Can confirm.

Go over to Norway with Norwegian GF all the time and fuck in the woods and by lakes, loudly, every time.

> feelsFUCKINGgood, man

>>1008727
Nice

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>>1007963
>wank off without getting caught when they're out?
where is the f-fun ?

>>1012116
Where's the fun in not getting the cops called on me, you mean?

>>1012203
you should be save. implying you dont fap in walmart/camping section.

You don't. Quit being a degenerate. Nofap is life

>>1007973
/out/ists dont wank

>>1008562
If one has hit puberty, one is an adult

Tfw your a kisses beta virgin who goes /out/ for weeks at a time and never recieves a text. Feels bad man. Ah well I'll never get a girlfriend. At least I have /out/ to keep me company

While on popular trails with lots of people, I like to partake in a good ole danger fap.

>Stand in center of camping area.
>Whip dick out and start batin'.
>Scream BEAR! BEAR! BEAR!
>Try to finish before anyone gets out of their tent and sees me.

>>1009020
I have but...never again. Holy shit the sex was beyond awful. Like right up there with fucking lesbians while possessing a penis level awful and worse then dead fish sex. Sadly it wasn't just a one time thing being a horny teenager...thank god I lost my virginity to a slutty angel.

I can't for the life of me understand the virgin fetish...its just...why? Is really awkward sex just not good enough? Why not fuck a easy slut who will be a lot of fun in the sack?

>>1009076
I regret virgin sex even more then I do lesbian questioning her sexuality sex. Which is incredible given just how awful lesbians are in the sack if you got a dick.

>retreat to tent
>top of my tent is see-through mesh so I have to put the rain cover over it for privacy
>lay on side
>slip pants down
>hold phone in left hand, outstretched, muted
>spit in hand
>jerk
>throw my phone down when I'm close and cum inside a wet wipe
>ball it up and wrap it inside another wet wipe
>clean hands with a fresh wet wipe
>put cummy wet wipe in pocket
>walk about 30-40 paces out from trail or clearing
>dig a hole and bury it

Jacked off into lake while night fishing.
Turtles ate it, and like it.

>>1008727
>two minors have consensual sex is pedophilia
Are you fucking dumb?

>>1013171
Keked

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>>1013171
probably some retarded racist frog got some too

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>>1013171

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>>1013171
jesus christ lol

>>1008146

That ain't snow, brother

>>1008562
Hi tumblr

This thread got me thinking. You think there's any jizz on the moon? Or the ISS?

calculus OP

I have a fantasy of killing a doe and the fucking its lifeless ass and mouth.

>>1013903
That brings up a better question. Who was the first man to beat it in space? See, in my house whoever cums on something owns it. So whoever was the first to shoot a load into the vacuum of space, in my eyes at least, owns space.

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>>1013171

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>>1013171

>OPFOR in forest
>bored as shit
>sneak off to jack off
>getting into it
>losing situational awareness
>hear rustle and giggle
>there's the scouts of the patrol, they've seen me lying against a tree with dick in hand
>there's 30 soldiers coming up right behind them
>holster cock grab rifle spray and pray then run back towards our camp

They never brought it up, and I didn't see their face. But some future officer saw me jacking off in the woods, gave his position away and got a burst of 5.56. Hope he learned something useful from that

>>1008146
Ahhhhahhahahaha

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>>1007987
>in a big tent with 2 friend from middle school for the night
>start talking about jerking off
>myself and the other kid say how we can't cum yet
>other kid says he can
>we tell him to prove it
>we all zip ourselves in our sleeping bags and start jerking off
>he cums on a tissue and shows us from a distance
>we all thought this was normal

Oh god I almost forgot that ever happened. I still don't believe it was cum on he tissue but I wasn't interested in finding out.

>>1008080
/thread

>>1008727
Lol, you're the one who seems to have a worrysome obsession with 13yo girls, not him.

>>1015491
That's the beginning to a lot of "and that's how I knew I was gay" stories. Congrats anon, you're not gay.

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>15 yo
>parents walk into Wal-Mart
>jaked it in the car
>windows down
Thats the most /out/ my dick has got
>once tried to fuck my gf on a trail at 17 but i was so high i was paranoid of getting caught and couldnt get hard