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So I've never put a car on jack stands before, and I need

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So I've never put a car on jack stands before, and I need to get under my car tomorrow. It doesn't run so I can't put it on ramps.

I know more or less where to jack up from (rear subframe, diff, front crossmember, or two frame rails), but I'm wondering where is a good place to put the stands. How easy or hard is it to put a stand in the wrong place and either bend something or kill yourself? What's the tolerance for error here?
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Here is the E30 jack points pic. technically you can use a floor jack on the pinch welds just use a piece of wood in between. might bend.

You can have a car teeter off a stand if you place it crooked and are on an uneven surface. If you use the suggested points in the pic you shouldn't have a problem. When i lift my E30 I do from diff/rear subframe or the front cross member. Hand ful of exceptions where I only need to work on one side, but it's not often.

You put it in the wrong spot on accident lets say, you'll dent your floor pan/body of the car or risk puncturing it. could also damage some hard lines running along the body of the car
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