Chester is 72 years old. He’s been dreaming of owning a Corvette

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Mike is 54. He makes a good living but works too much. HIs wife just left him for some loser who makes less than half of what Mike does but pays attention to her. He needs to start over. A Corvette will help. Mike gets a flashy Z06, puts on his aviators and heads for the mall in his best leather jacket. He lurks by the car hoping to get the ladies attention. No one looks at him. He takes it to Hooters and tells the girls about it. They talk about how sexy it is and how sexy he is in it. But everybody dodges him when he asks for a number. He takes it downtown and drives around with the windows down playing AC/DC loud enough to draw attention. He gets smirks at best.

Mike tries online dating, he picks up his first date in his Vette. He revs it up a bit and she looks mortified, The date goes bad. Next time he gets an online date he shows up in his F150, no aviators, no leather, no AC/DC just regular old Mike. She’s fine, he’s fine, everything is fine. The date goes ok. Mike dates around for a while and eventually meets a nice woman who’s kids are in college who also had a really busy schedule. She hates the AC/DC, and makes him take the leather jacket to Goowill. The Vette sits because he is going to track it one day. He never does. It’s on Bay now.

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Jim is 49. He’s worked hard all his life, but has always driven sensible cars that work for the family. His brother Matt has owned a succession of BMWs and has never been quiet about how much they cost and how fast they are. But Jim has just received the promotion he’s been working towards for a long time, and with it a substantial pay raise. Jim isn’t going to live in his brother’s shadow anymore but he works somewhere a German car wouldn’t be welcome, so he goes into his local Chevy dealer and puts a deposit down on a brand new Corvette.

A few months later Jim picks up his new Corvette and drives it over to his brother’s house to show it off. They take it out to the local freeway so Jim can prove how much faster it is than Matt 5-Series. Except Jim redlines it up the on-ramp right in front of a cop, who doesn’t take kindly to being cut off by a tubby guy doing 100 in a Corvette.

Now Jim has lost his license and his wife has to drive him into work every morning. The Corvette sits in the garage until winter when Jim’s wife none too gently reminds him she wants to park in the garage before it starts to snow. Jim has had just enough time to get over his wounded pride to snap some vertical pictures of his former pride and joy and put the Corvette up on Auto Trader.

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>>17432287
>>17432289
>>17432296

Imagine the amount of rancor harvesting in this bitter neet's soul. Now that's sad

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>>17432329

>>17432287
>>17432289
these are actually really depressing

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this triggers the boomer

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this triggers the boomer

>>17432357
>>17432364
not gonna lie, kinda liked that wrap roaddrive420 had

This isn't your every day autism. This here is advanced autism.

I have a screenshot of a post on craigslist where some guy is trading his Evo 8 for a minivan, I'll see if I can find it

>>17432405
christ

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>>17432405
>>17432415

>>17432419
That's not a screenshot, that's an actual fucking photo of your screen. Did you forget PrtScr exists?

>>17432419
probably forgot to pull out

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>>17432419
Did you really just take a fucking picture of your monitor?

>>17432419
Cringed once for trading Evo for "loaded" minivan, cringed second time for photo of screen

>>17432430
>>17432445
Yeah, coworker brought it up and I took a picture, would have used snipping tool otherwise

Here's one for you, OP

My father sold off everything but necessities when I was born. He commuted 75 minutes each way to a job that paid the bills. He'd come home tired each night, while my mother stayed home to raise me and then my sister several years later. This continued until I was in middle school when my mother went back to work and he got a job much closer to home. The stress was still an issue. He finally did something for himself around that time- got an HD Sportster. He loved it. My mother started feeling left out, so she got into riding too. Unfortunately, she had a bad motorcycle accident several years later and it left them reconsidering the bikes. After she recovered, my mother convinced my father to sell the bikes. He reluctantly agreed. My father was always very stoic, but the day the two motorcycles left the driveway in the back of a truck, I saw despair on his face, like he lost a piece of himself. He started getting very depressed, and my mother suggested he look into getting a nice car for himself. About a year later, he had an absolutely pristine C4 Corvette convertible. He kept it immaculate. He and I would go to car shows together, and he won 1st place at several larger shows (for that generation Corvette).

Fast forward 8 years. He was diagnosed with 3 types of cancer, lost his job due to cutbacks, and his self-paid insurance barely covered much of the treatments / surgeries. He made it through it all and acquired a new job. A year later he suffered a massive stroke which took months to fully recover from.

This year I found his old C4 Corvette and tried buying it so I could give it to him this Father's Day. Unfortunately the guy selling it was a crooked bastard. I offered KBB private 100% condition value in cash and he wanted twice that.

>>17432454
what kind of jyp wants twice kbb value for a c4 corvette let alone twice that?

>>17432445
Makes it seem more authentic and shit bro

>>17432430
>>17432445
>>17432449

lmao look at the normies havin a lil meltdown

>>17432454
Bro if I knew you id go threaten and put the fear of god into that seller

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>>17432472

>>17432454
This is way worse than OP's. Three types of cancer?

>>17432287
most original shitposter award goes to Anon!

>>17432287
>>17432289
>>17432296
Do you have more of these? They're pretty entertaining t b h.

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>>17432454

>>17432287
>>17432289
>>17432296
Literally just copied and pasted this from Jalopshit

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>>17432454
fuck man

>>17432881
Metastasized, probably

>>17432454
sounds like someone needs to beat this guys ass, the guy being a kike I mean, not you

>>17433027
Bancer

>>17432472
Never let the seller know you want the car or why you want it. Price will go up. Everyone's a jew.

>>17432991
you would know faggot

>>17432287

hey look its jalopnik, why are you guys here

>>17434197
At least I'm not passing off their shit as my OC Donut Steel