What exactly goes wrong with these fuckers besides the head gasket

>>17208271
Oil leaks from the case-half seals. Coolant leaks from the water pump manifold seals. Bellows between the throttle body and intake manifold splits. Head gaskets leak oil into center valley and ruin starter. That usually looks like a rear main seal leak but is far worse. Threads pull out of block on both head bolt and main cap bolt holes. Auto trans like to wear grooves in the 4th clutch hub which causes an internal pressure leak on the torque converter clutch apply circuit and resulting in TCC slip codes. The ECM then stops trying to apply the TCC which in turn overheats the trans and eventual limp mode. Requires a rebuild with hard parts to fix.

Then there's all the little bs due to time and mileage that any car has.

>>17208565

fucking christ I hate you GM.

I just want a luxobarge with a v8 so I can cruise around the state in comfort. My ankles are getting fucked from clutching in traffic all day and I need something to easily haul 10 cases of beer plus sales bullshit and occasionally clients and other reps.

I love these el dorados but all I hear is bullshit failures like you're telling me. basically I need to suck it up and get a Lexus, right?

>>17208607
That, or a 91-97 "Fat" Town Car.

>>17208607
Just get a Chevy caprice?
>couch on wheels
>good ol chebby small block

>>17208607
Mark viii

>>17208626

Eh, I want something on this side of the millenium. I also love the design language of these Cadillacs, that they are coupes, and that they dont reek of Japanese esthetics. Infiniti and Lexus are all well and good, but I want some American luxury. Unfortunately that also means American build quality.

>>17208843
>I want something on this side of the millenium.
Get a newer Town Car or Grand Marquis, then.

>>17208873

Yeah looks like the Towncar is where i end up on this. Thats too bad, I liked the El Dorado.

>>17208607
seriously, get a crown vic/town car/marquis, they made them up to 2011 and are easy to find

>luxobarge
check
>v8
check
>comfort
check
>easily haul 10 cases of beer plus sales bullshit
absolutely, the trunk on these things is fucking monstrous, you can carry three full size spare tires and still have room for a jack, jumper pack, crate of road equipment, tool kit, jumper cables, etc etc. and still have room for groceries, and that's before you even start tossing stuff on the rear bench seat (source: have done it myself)

maybe not as fancy as the cadillac or a lexus LS, but you also get to trade the world's most notoriously unreliable 'luxury' V8 (the Northstar) for a stupid reliable pig-iron block that will crack 400k miles with no issues (4.6 Modular 2v)

that is such a drug dealer car

i live on the east side of cleveland and tge only people you see drivibg those are old black men or rusted out ones druven by drug dealer looking people

>>17208271
They made it better in 2000, didn't actually fix it until 2005. Bear in mind the problem wasn't the gaskets it was the head bolts themselves deteriorating, when it goes the block is fucked, it's not just a matter of swapping the gasket.

Grand Marqjis/Towncars are nice but if you can stand the FWD the 06+ DTSs are sweet also, and have the fixed Northstar in them. They are way more power compared to a Panther, and better MPG.

>>17208271
The northstar is fucking garbage. Everything >>17208565 said is accurate to a T.

My grandfather had one brand new and it had a battery drain that the dealer could never find. Pretty certain it got bought back. The engine harness also falls apart in higher mileage and age.

Get a panther body car that doesn't have air ride. My crown vic is reliably running at 248K miles with only some minor oil seeps.

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STS or STS-V

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>>17208664
>want caprice
>no caprice near me

>>17209156
ROADMASTER

>>17209048

This is where I'll probably end up, as reliability is my top concern. I just hate Town Car styling and the GM and CV are just as ugly inside. Even the newer ones are ugly as sin with acres of shitty grey plastic.

Maybe I'm too unrealistic, I just want a big, lazy, powerful, comfy fucking car that I don't hate spending all day every day in. If I can get a coupe and a RWD set up I'd be made in heaven.

>>17209283
oh, well if you want power then panthers are out of the question

i take personal offense to you calling them ugly, though, they're the last remnant of old car design with big, flat dashboards and NO FUCKING TOUCHSCREENS, NOT EVEN ONE AS AN OPTION, YOU'LL GET AN FM RADIO WITH A TAPE DECK AND YOU'LL FUCKING LIKE IT BECAUSE HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL THIS GODDAMN LEGROOM

>>17209290
I don't know about others, but I don't like feeling like I could slip off the seat into the floorboard and never find my way back out.

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This thing came with the LT-1 350.

>>17208607
Any classic mid-size American car

>>17208271
All the electronics are junk

Cadillac had no idea what it was doing when it made that car

VERY difficult to work on those. Everything is under something else and a million bolts for no fucking reason.

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>>17208607
Yeah get a LS400 / 430 moron

These things are fucking great.

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>>17209283
Dude look into the mark 8, someone already mentioned it