In this thread we make our car start up noise >insert key

>expand key
>expand dong
>insert key
>click click click click click
>muffled "FUCK"
>sound of a hood being popped
>the sound of a hammer tapping a starter motor
>enter car again
>turn over
>chchchchchck
>vrroooOOOOoooOOOOOM

>insert key
>KerrrrrkerkerkerkerkerkerkerkerrooooOOOOOmmmmm

> Modern Ford
> insert key
>Doodalydoo Doodalydoo doodalydoo
> an hero

>tsek
>tuunt
>EHEHEHOOOOO
>HEEEWWWWW

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>insert key
>fans start spinning up
>light buzzing as the glow plugs do their job
>turn key
>KLUKUKUKUKUKUKUK

>click
>*sigh*
>click
>clack
>click
>clack
>click
>clack
>click
>clack
>beeeep
>tick
>tack
>tick
>biiiieeeep
>insert key
>start engine

i'm not even kidding.

>>17106395
what even?

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>>17106411
Sounds like he has a six-point harness

guess mine guys
>trtrtrt
>bing, bing, bing
>vrrrrrttrTTRTRTRT
>vvWOooooom
>huuuuuuuuum

>ChewChewCHewchEW
>FFSSSSSSSSS
>WUBwubwubwubwubw

>>17106423
I wish
>>17106411
After market alarm system on my old MB.
Unlock car, get in car. Lock car, unlock car, lock car, unlock car, lock car. Then i need to put the key in the ignition and turn it half way, then i need to flick the window switch up down up before i am able to start the car.
This makes a lot of noises and beeps... And it is really REALLY fucking annoying when you are in a hurry.

If you forget doing the procedure or do it incorrectly (the only way of knowing this is not hearing the third beep tone) , you can drive perfectly fine and won't even notice for about 3 miles, then the car starts beeping for a minute and after that the engine shuts down leaving you stranded.

>insert key
>trrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
>proceeds to idle like a turd

>insert key
>braaaaaap
>potato potato potato

>insert card

>>17106796
Jesus christ, I couldn't live with that shit.

>>17106237
>insert key
>BEEEEEEEEEP
>BRUP BRUP BRUP
>lululululululul
>*hiccup*
>choke
>silence

>>17106237
This morning
>click
>wuh...wuh....
>bzzzzzz.
Fuck dead battery.

>>17106796
Why would you do that to yourself

>>17108658
it's a pain in the ass, it runs trough the wire loom as well so it's not a matter of taking a fuse out and it's gone. mb mechanic tried fiddling with it and he nearly made his ears bleed in the process, it is very fucking loud.
>>17108697
I don't know man, someone in 1998 thought their w210 was going to get stolen

>thunk
>crik-thunk
>rerererere
>broooooom
>s q u e a k squeak sqek sqk sk
>brrrrrrrrrrrrrr

>churchurCHUUUUUUUUUR
>SSSSSQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKK

File: 20170428_192451.jpg (2MB, 4160x2080px) Image search: [Google]

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>click
>ding ding ding ding ding ding ding
>Whrrrrruuhhhwhrrrrruhhhhhwhrrrrrrrrrrcoughcough
>BRU BRU
>BRRRROOOOOOM


It lives another day

>tseek
>click
>click
>glugluglugluglgluglugglugluglugluglgluglugglugluglugluglgluglug

i slide my key in slow and stop for half a sec at accessory and then to run and let my fuel pump prime then bump her over

>insert key
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeer
>kwaahkwakwa
>vrOOOmmm
>wuvwuvwuvwuvwuvwuvwuv

>Clahchunkchunkchunk (column shifter)

>vrrrrrrrrtcktcktcktckctck
>vrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm

>insert key
>bing bing bing bing
>vrrrr drr drr vrrr drr drr vrr drr dr-
>VUMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Ching
Whirrr whirrr
Rummmmmmm
Rattle rattle
Thunk
Rummm rummm

What vehicle?

>>17106237
Chi-chi-chi-chi-chi
Chi-chi-ch-
Tadadadadaddadadadadadadaddada

Any 90's diesel engine

>insert key
>click
>waawaa waa
>brrrrrrmmmm-*soft purr of a Škoda engine*

Clink
Eeeeeeeeee
Rerererererere
Raaaaaaaaaaaaa

>turn key
>voooooooop
>turn again
>soi Soi SOI SOISOI
>BRRUUMMMmmmmmumumumummmmmmm

>>17106237
>insert key
>ping ping ping
>turn key
>karowkarow
>BARUMBRUMBRUMBRUMBRUMBRuMBRUMBRUmbrumbrumbrumbrumburblebrum
i4 has no rite soundin this good

>insert screwdriver
>twist
>chackchackchack
>gRRrruuumm
>rumrumrumrumrum*tsk*rumrumrumrumrum*tsk*rumrumrumrumrum*tsk*rumrumrumrumrum*tsk*

>*clack* (insert key)
>*bzz-tok* (electric steering lock disengaging)
>*Chchchchch*
>*Broom*

File: 20170428_085726.jpg (2MB, 2560x1440px) Image search: [Google]

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>silence
>Putitindaddy
>Still silence
>turn key
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>BRRROOMomomomom-om-om-om-om

>insert key
>HHHHNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG
>brummmmhummmhummm....

It basically sounds like a cat making a tremendous effort to push out a huge shit and then purring in satisfaction.

File: IMG_7982.jpg (17KB, 179x281px) Image search: [Google]

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>>17106316
KEK

>turn key
>CHKCHKCHKCHKCHKCHKCHKCHK
>sunroof rattles out of frame
>SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>gauge cluster needles are bouncing all over the place
>BLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLU
>seats are vibrating, headrest slides out of its fork

>Ker CLACK as I insert key
>boom boom BOOM as I turn through the settings
>ZJE ZJE ZJE
>VROOOOooooom
>VROOOooooom as the e

>push button
>CH CH CH CH CH CH
>VROOOOOOOOOOOOM

>push button
>chaaREEEE
>BWOOOOOOM
>bumbumbumbumbum

any guesses?

>>17106237

> beep beep beep
> cuckcuckcuck
> bRRRLOOOOOL
> brrr

File: squealingintesifies.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

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>insert key
>WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>turn key
>DOOCHKCHKCHKCHKCHK
>BOOWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWU

>>17106237

> beep beep beep
> cuckcuckcuck
> bRRRLOOOOOL
> chiggachiggachigga

>>17106237
>insert key
>bling bling bling bling
>ruhduhduh
>Vruuuuuuumuhmuhmuhmuh

File: 20170429_141224.jpg (4MB, 4128x2322px) Image search: [Google]

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*whirrrr*
*eh eh eh*
*wrOOOooommm*

>>17106237
>open door (kchaa)
>ding ding ding
>kching
>vvrrrr room room
>brub brub brub brub brub

>insert key
>silence like it should be
>switch On
>loud BRRRR from fuel pump in rear by gas tank
>Start
>trrREEEEEeer!
>BOOMFF!
>rumpapa rumpapa rumpapa rumprumprump rumpapa rumpapa rumpapa rumprumprrump

>>17106237
>click

Yeah thats it

>get in
>push button
>chickaVROOOOOOM

File: 5b11e4c7bde6fd34a76a1f13045d48c6.jpg (56KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]

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>push brake in
>push start button
>buzzh
>wuuuuuu hrrurururururur
>burburburbur bur bur bur buur buuur
bbuuur