Someone keeps parking in my spot at work. How can I teach

>>17095816
Leave them a polite note with their child's hair taped to it.

SUCK HIS DICK

im sure you're used to it since you are a bitch anyways

>>17095819
Oh baby you sure got him, ZINGA.

>>17095816
Put super glue in his keyhole assuming his car isn't key less entry.

Talk to your boss / person in charge of the parking.

Poop on dash

File: 1445722183259.jpg (68KB, 700x700px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 700x700px

>>17095829
80% of the cars in my office parking lot are mercs, audis and beemers. Nobody but me drives a shitbox that actually requires you to use the keyhole.

>>17095832
I have already tried talking to my boss but whenever I bring up any concerns with him he immediately calls me out for driving a Honda Fit, a quote "slow fag mobile", and challenges me to race his Audi.

>>17095816
>my spot
Get there sooner, faggot.

>>17095816
Hire a guy to steal the car. Have him drive it somewhere remote and roll it into a body of water. Then when that niggerfaggot is standing in his empty parking spot sobbing, tell him he can save 15% or more by switching to Geico.

>>17095818
Fpbp

File: Piaggio_Ape_50_Europe_(2).jpg (2MB, 3376x2952px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3376x2952px

>>17095816
Get one of these instead

>>17095816
>How can I teach this guy a lesson?
So, you're just fishing around for ways to attack anyone's car? You were already given the legit answer but you dismissed it since you wanted more vicious responses.

>>17095816
Have security frogmarch him out to his car to move it so you can park in your appointed space.

Is it not an appointed space? Do you have no legitimate claim on it other than wanting it?
If so, your only option is to park somewhere else.

>>17095816
Get to work earlier (before your co-worker) and park in your spot.

>>17095816

Loctite into his doorlocks.

Did this to my noisy neighbourgh.
Didn't stopped her from making noise, but her cries for help were better than absolute silence, and will last me a lifetime.

>>17095912
>OP confirmed for lying
Abandon thread, guys.

>>17099641
Not a bad idea.

>>17095816
Park in his spot

>>17095816
Train pidgeons to shit on his car. Or at least find a good way to replicate bird poop (off-white automotive grade paint maybe?) and every day make sure the car gets 10 or 20 little spots of bird shit while it's parked in the spot.

>>17095816
>How can I teach this guy a lesson?
Throw birdseed on top of his car every day. The birds will peck at it thus adding peck marks to the clearcoat. The birds will also poop on it, thus making it need to be washed. Tossing birdseed is not something you can be legally prosecuted or arrested by the police. If you get caught keying, then you can be cited as well as lose your job.

>>17102153
>>17101536
Holy shit I think someone already did this to me...