You look in your mirror to see an angry soccer mom tailgating

stop, wait for her to leave her car and when she's close to my car drive away at full speed

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>>16323289

that's a big car

>>16323279
let them be mad

A 70k hunk of nissan scum doesnt grant a free pass to feel entitled to have everyone move out of their way

>>16323279
Proceed as normal, and hope that her texting distracts her enough that she rams my car and finally gives me the sweet release of death.

>>16323339
Why don't you simply kill yourself you worthless faggot

Downshift aggressively. I'm sure she won't react in time because lol women and I will get a new rear end.

That's assuming I'm not swallowed in that grill never to be seen again.

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>>16323347
Too lazy

>>16323279
Downshift. I need new tail lights anyway.

Downshifting will put you guys in daily pain for months

That car is not light

>>16323279
Lift off the gas and slow down. Right down. Then accelerate away faster than she can in that barge.
If she tries to overtake, I block her or accelerate.

If it's on a twisty road at night, I'll just speed up until she can't keep up without tipping.

>>16323481
>faster than she can
425 hp

>>16323279
I do absolutely nothing. Her picking up her kids from handjob practice is no more important than whatever it is that I'm doing at the time. Besides, I'm already doing 9 over. She doesn't need to go any faster, and if I'm in the left lane, it means that the right lane is not clear, because I don't camp out in the left lane unless I'm actively passing.

>>16323525
>weighs 3 tons

>>16323525
> 425 hp
Weighs more than a 1/2 truck

Don't you know those have 14L engines?

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>Drive scooter
>Soccer moms mad almost every time they get behind me
>They over take me and give me an angry look
>Come up to traffic light
>Lane split until I reach soccer mom
>Pull up in front of her
>*Autistic screeching*
>Light turns green
>Slowly pull away

It gets funnier every single time.

Move to the right lane.
Continue normally if I'm in a one lane road.

>>16323327
for you

>>16323279
They play soccer in the winter in Canada?

>>16323279
Wash my windshield and drive slow until she fucks off

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Slow down

>>16323478
Pussy. Sue her to oblivion afterwards

>>16323525
Inertia. I don't have a lot, she has tons of weight even before her fat kids.
On top of that, they're usually automatic. Manuals accelerate faster because they don't have to dither around in neutral while the magic box does stuff until it can go CLUNK.
And the cunt won't be expecting it.

>engine brake to speed limit
>get comfy
>wait for inevitable no-signal lane change

>>16323664
>being this American
you guys need some reforms in your legal systems so you don't have idiots like this guy looking for people to sue

>>16323279
The only car with Down's syndrome.

>Driving semi
>Construction zone in Iowa
>55mph
>Go the speed limit because I don't want tickets
>Red crossover is flying up behind me, breaking the sound barrier
>I'm still going 55mph
>Sign reads road construction next 13 miles
>Can now hear distant honking behind me
>She's freaking out and swerving side to side
>Tries to cut between cones and nearly hits one of the road closure blockades
>Tries getting on should and nearly hits another barrier
>She sits quietly for the remainder of the construction zone
>Get outside of it and she flies into the other lane with no signal
>I already know that she's going to try and cut me off
>Sure enough, she leaps in front of me and slams the breaks
>I don't
>She panics and swerves off onto the shoulder
>About 20 miles later, I get disco lights
>"Some lady called us and said that a truck matching the description tried to run her off the road"
>Showed him the dash cam footage
>He laughs for a bit and shoots the shit then leaves
>No idea if they ever caught the bitch and delivered justice

>>16323872
nice

>>16323279
This actually happened to me just yesterday. I was in a school zone heading to work and this moronic typical basic bitch blondie thot was driving within a micrometer of my bumper while I was doing the speed limit. Thankfully I was in my POS beater truck so I dropped down to second and touched the throttle spewing black smoke all over her.

>>16323525
>707

>>16323642
kek i keep forgetting about this "pocket sand" manuever

>>16323872
Wow what an unstable cunt

>Put my foot on the clutch
>Tap the gas and drop down to third
>Release the clutch and step on the gas, tonight I'll fly
>Hit top speed of 55 mph

>>16323552
14.8L V12 lmao

>>16323555
>respect the trips

>>16323338
close to $90k out the door

>>16323525
>435hp
>@3700#

>>16323555
normally I hate you faggots but I appreciate this post

Wait for radar detector to alert me of a speed trap, the taper off my speed to the legal limit and watch them fly by in outrage.
Then pull out of the way of the approaching Officer.

I've literally done this around 7 times, it's worked 3 times.

>>16323478
a month and half tops if you are young. When i was young my ford escort got sandwhiched at a stop light. My sunroof popped out and landing on the hood

If i'm being tailgated, i move over a lane. If their is only one lane I might do a brake check if i'm in the car by myself.

>>16323279
start chucking spark plugs out the window

>>16323763
>manuals accelerate faster
This isnt 1970, just about every vehicle today will accelerate faster in automatic trim then in manual

>>16323279

I move over and let Linda pass. If I wanted to govern other people's speeds I'd go be a cop for 90k a year.

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>>16325507
>plant foot
>wait
>and
>wait for it
>DROP 2 GEARS AND GO LMAOO
vs
>do it yourself in a quarter of the time

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Engage the two-step!
.... I wish.
Move out of her way if I can. If not, I'll make sure I have enough room in front of me that I won't have to brake too hard.
>I want this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECpM31zrdMY

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related

>>16325536
>select too high of a gear
>automatic beats you
>select too low of a gear
>automatic beats you while you bang off the rev limiter using the last 500 rpm of that gear

>>16325561
Driving a manual implies you know how to use it.

>>16323279
Assuming highway
>Drop to 3rd or 4th gear
>Slam brakes
>Watch rear view mirror
>Slam gas when she gets close
Since I'm in 3rd/4th I have enough torque to blast the fuck out of there before she hits me but I'm still able to get the point across, did this today actually.

>>16325536
>thinking it takes this long in the current year
Get a decent fucking car instead of a north korean shitbox and i guarantee you the automatic gets in the right gear, shifts faster, AND gets better mileage than you would in that same car's manual version. I'd agree with you if this was 10 years ago, maybe even 5 or 6 years ago, but today?

Maybe youd have an argument for faster shifting if you were talking about flappy paddle gearboxes, but an actual stick? No fucking way

>>16325591
>10 years ago automatics where shit!
>but now they r totally good 40 years of automatic technology didnt mean shit it was the past 10 years that sealed the deal
get your brain checked

>>16325536
>This isn't 1970

>>16325605
Cellphones were monochrome bricks with bad reception 15 years ago.

i like how automatics are designed with retards in mind, it's like a containment transmission so retards dont ruin all the manuals

Since we're talking kick-down and that sort of thing, I'd thought I'd post this vid I came across a while ago. I love how it just drops five gears fairly quick.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MekWhR3Ubx8

>>16323642
I rerouted my rear hatch wiper sprayer and turned it around.
I can spray behind me on command.
Yellow food dye in the reservoir and I assert my male dominance by pissing on the bitch

>>16325605
>hurr durr how can humanity have gone to space when we just lrnd 2 fly 60 years ago
>not understanding exponential growth
It's obvious that you're either baiting or too retarded to realize that what you are describing is exactly what has happened in every fucking field of technology since the 1900s. Cars take milliseconds to shift now, and when you stomp your foot the revs climb and youre in gear damn near immediately. They dont have to wait for a human to rev match and move the stick into the right gear, they do that shit for you

>>16323555
triple nickel of Fate

>>16325639
>ago
*before that, sorry

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>>16323279
brake check

>>16325639
so in another 10 years automatics are going to be so good they can create energy from nothing
i suggest you get that autism checked

>>16325659
You don't need to be exponentially more retarded with every post, we understand the concept.

>pull the hand brake
>flip the steering wheel as hard as i can
>roll over and die

>>16325675
take your own advice

>>16323279
Wait until the nest red light and rev till the 6K redline and hope that the sound from the V8 w/glass pack exhaust is scary enough.

>>16325659
Jesus fucking christ. Not even worth a bait image. Enjoy getting overtaken by a 3 ton nissan while you figure out if 4th or 5th is better for your current speed

>>16325685
Whatever man, if you think you can manually downshift 3 gears and revmatch perfectly in half the time it takes you to blink, more power to you.

>>16325536
>only drops two gears
Shit, my 7 speed auto only requires one solenoid change to go from sixth down to second.

>>16323289
id stop and spread my buttchecks

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>>16325692
Debbie deploys shield: DOUBLE GLAZED WINDOWS
Debbie attacks: KIDS IN THE BACK SEAT: THEY'RE BOTH SCREAMING
Debbie attacks: ON SPEAKER PHONE WITH HER BEST FRIEND, MAX VOLUME: COMPLAINING ABOUT THE SHITLORD IN FRONT OF HER

>Debbie can't hear shit

>>16323279
>Infiniti QX80, 400hp (300kW) and 413lbf·ft (560N·m)
>Curb weight 2,785kg (6,140 lb)
what a fckn tank

>>16325696
>>16325705
>automatic defence force
truth hurts doesnt it lol

>>16323279

>Ontario

I'm always surprised by the number of Ontario (read: probably Toronto/GTA) posters on here

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>>16325735

How the fuck did Nissan get that plastic piece of shit to weigh 6100lbs? A fully loaded Suburban or Escalade is still under 6000 and it's way bigger...

>>16325536
Have you driven a newer automatic? Any 8 speed ZF will out shift your 6/5 speed anyday.

t. 5 manuel speed owner

>>16325742
Yeah I agree

t. ontariocuck

>>16325735
Holy shit. you should need a truck license to drive this thing

>>16325776
Made with glorious nippon steel not filthy whitu piggu plastic

>>16325737
This

I can't believe the primary defense is "you won't know what gear to downshift into"

Holy fuck rofl. The only people that should have an opinion on this are those who have extensively driven both.

>>16323279
Slow down until her pre-collision system kicks in

>>16325507
> Push gas
> Nothing
> Nothing
> Nothing
> CLUNK
> Head smashed against the wheel by sudden deceleration, as it dumps a gear instead of just fucking going
> CLUNK
> The deceleration triggers an upshift, and you're smacked back into the seat
> CLUNK
> You're now going slower, so it downshifts again

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>>16329687

>>16329687
Are you admitting to being too fucking stupid to drive a car with an automatic transmission...?

>>16323555
>drive scooter
Get off of my /o/

>>16323279
This happens to me all the time in my shitty econobox Camry, but when I drive my 335i nobody ever drives anywhere near me. Feels good man

>>16329942
I'm used to driving a manual, and thus knowing what the engine and car are doing at all times. Driving a strange car with an auto slushbox was an exercise in frustration.
Especially when it refused to climb hills properly.

Automatic vans were easier, but mostly due to inertia and smoother shifts. They still don't shift properly on hills.

>>16323279
Slam the brakes, get a free car and ride to the hospital.

>>16325865
I've driven an escalade ESV before. It's honestly really easy, at least in America. Parking is tough though

Slam on my brakes so she'll run into me and pay for new tires.

>>16329687
Have you driven a half-decent automatic?

Because with mine its:

>push gas
>drops 1 or 2 gears
>accelerates

>>16329687
>hit gas
>hit kickdown switch at the bottom of the throttle travel
>glorious instant zf downshift in the time it takes for you to hit the clutch to down shift

>>16323872
Your a damn liar. This took place in England because its happened to me 3 times this month. Confess your a fellow brit now

>>16330020
Depends on the car. Obviously old autos suck ass, but new ones are pretty good. Mine keeps me in a lower gear going up hills, and redline shifts perfectly when it's being thrashed.

>>16323279

Nothing

I drive a Ferd Super Dooty

Perfect opportunity for a Crazy Ivan. Then kick her in the box and shove her out of the way.

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>>16325145
>I've literally done this around 7 times, it's worked 3 times.

That's very clever! Please have 5000 internets as a reward for culling the herd of these obnoxious drivers.

>>16330090
Have you ever driven a manual? You do not drop gears to accelerate. You don't even drop one, let alone two. You should be in a gear that gives you enough power to accelerate away at all times.

>>16323555
>Pull up in front of her
>DISCO LIGHTS
>"son, did anyone ever teach you to wait in line"
>"or respect the law"
>"that's dangerous son"
>"and not fair to other people"
>"don't do it again or i'm putting that thing in the back of my cruiser and leaving you on the sidewalk you hear that"

>>16332184
Have you ever driven an inline four shitbox? If you're anywhere near the rev range where you actually have available power, you're getting half your rated mpg and bringing your next oil change 100 miles closer with each passing second. And you have 1.5k RPM to spare at the most.

>>16330613

This. My daily is an 06 C-class with the 5Gtronic box. If you put your foot down a little, it'll stay in gear and accelerate, if you decide you want to haul ass, it'll kick down almost instantly and rev right to to the redline if you let it. Never had any trouble going up hills either, and usually the gear changes are so smooth that you only notice them happen by watching the rev counter. Plus you've still got the option of changing gears yourself.

Then again, I've also driven a couple of (newer) kias with CVT boxes, and they are utter shit. Unlike the merc, which feels like it knows what you want the car to do and changes gear accordingly, the kias seem to change gear almost entirely at random.

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Lel I asked this question in another thread

>slow down to irritatingly low speed
>let her overtake
>re-overtake and cut her off

>>16332184
>You do not drop gears to accelerate.
Cruising and power RPM is very different.

>You should be in a gear that gives you enough power to accelerate away at all times.
Yeah, if I'm cruising in top gear and mash the accelerator down the car WILL accelerate. Slowly. Drop down a gear and that acceleration rate increases because there's now more power available at the wheels. Do you understand how power curves work? Do you understand how engines work? Do you understand how gear ratios work?

>>16332184
By that logic cars shouldn't have more than 2 or 3 gears.

>tfw cruising along the highway at 60 mph @4500 rpm in third

>>16328759
The primary defense is that you will be slower than the automatic gearbox at hitting the clutch, selecting a gear, matching the revs, releasing the clutch and getting back on the gas.

t. person who's never owned an auto and recently bought a brand new car with a manual transmission

I prefer manual for the sensation of being in control of the car, and because I enjoy the feel of manually changing gears. I am however not an autistic deluded luddite who thinks this will make me better at doing it than a computer in 2016.

>>16332184
So what you're saying is that your shitbox will have better acceleration at 70 in 6th gear than an automatic shifting down to 3rd?

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hope for the best

>>16332184
So I should be at 5k rpm at all times? Are you retarded?

>>16323854
We have a kind of an implicit clause in US against victim blaming.
It's not illegal to downshift and go slow "because I thought speed limit was too fast for the road conditions". It is however illegal to ram people.

>roll coal on her shitty nissan

>kek

>>16332184
you are an absolute fucking moron

Some niggerfaggot stole the cap on my rear windshield wiper. So now instead of spraying the glass it just sprays directly backwards. Use that to spray her car.

>>16333003
Oh that's good.

>>16332197
>Implying I don't look around before I do it
If a cop didn't see it then I didn't do it.

>>16329949
>Get off of my /o/
No.

>>16333003
That's a fun idea, especially in places with single digit temps.
>spray a sheet of ice on her windshield
>kek as she reks
Knowing my luck, she would accelerate and rearend me. Then again, this is why I have insurance

>>16333003
Does it use its own reservoir? You could fill it with ink instead of soapy wadder

>>16325659
You are easily the stupidest motherfucker I've seen on this board. Let that sink in for a moment.

>>16323937
Post pics with bread

>>16323854
>get rearended
>your back is hurt, need to go to doctor, maybe have surgery
If your government doesn't pay for your medical care, who should in this situation?

>>16332184
How do you have no grasp on how gears work?

>>16323872
I want to believe!

My car has a 5 speed auto with manual mode too, but I never use it because it's completely redundant because the computer is constantly monitoring what's going on and shifts to the appropriate gear faster than anyone ever could.

>>16333083
Oops, meant to reply to
>>16332313

>>16325776
I saw one irl the other day, and they're closer to Escalade size than you would think

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>>16323279
wave pic related out the window

>>16333097
SigPro?

>>16333097
How the fuck are you going to fit an entire gun range out the window?

>>16323289
Thats exacly how you outrun cops in mafia 2

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People still ride my ass even though I keep one of these on all the time.

I have two front bumpers bungie corded on it from two separate women who bumped me then took off.