>ITT BMW stories, no poorfags allowed edition >Be me at

bread on ood op

>>16004483
I would but I'm not home

>>16004490
surely you must have something on your phone

>2005
>classmate buys 120i
>rolls it 4 weeks later

the end

Bmws don't have keys.

op confirmed a liar.

>>16004492
heartworming story, thanks

>>16004475
>>shit that never happened
>>volume 2

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>>16004475

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>>16004475

>>16004497
Yes they do retard, what do you think you need to start the engine. You can push the start button all day but without the key it won't start

>>16004501
Thanks for your input poorfag

>>16004491
Why would I?

>>16004505
>Le elliot meme

Elliot didn't know how to talk to girls and he was a self entitled cunt

>>16004509
Digging himself deeper folks.
Bmws haven't had keys since bush was in the whitehouse
Ask yourself why would someone start a thread like this on an entirely false premise and then refuse to provide any proof?

>>16004537
So tell me, how do you start a BMW

I had a roommate that drove a BMW and he was poor as fuck and always complained about not having money but would never think of selling his car and getting something more reasonable

>>16004543
>>16004537
I said no poorfags edition

>>16004542
Assuming you don't have comfort access in which case you really aren't playing at all.
You insert the fob into the dash and press the start button

the poorest people i know drive beemers, rich folk around here buy merc or audi

>>16004554
Well you don't even own a BMW seeing as you didn't realize they don't have keys

>>16004490
>I would but I'm not home
So your car is at home while you are somewhere else? You didn't ride the bus, did you OP?

>>16004475
>ITT stories inspired by last weeks threads

>>16004513
t. Elliot admirer

>>16004542
You sit in it with the fob in your pocket and press start

>>16004561
Yeah only because BMW actually last longer than 4 years. Povs love old bmws. Mercedes and Audi are for literal cucks.

So BMWposting is the new meme?
Or should we call it Elliotposting?

>>16004558
By key om talking about the fob you motherfucking retard

>>16004562
Key fob. KEY

>>16004537
Is it bad that your post reminded me of Bane's perhaps he's wondering why someone would shoot a man..." quote?

Lol try that shit in the UK, half of us drive Beemers. Also BMW drivers are seen as assholes.

I like mine but it doesn't help get me laid.

>>16004643
>O...Oh I meant fob y..you turn the key er I mean fob I mean you don't turn it or do you I don't remember but that's totally what I meant guise serious

>>16004475
>be me
>be in situation to inherit a 2015 BMW X3
>be annoyed with electronic e-brake
>be annoyed with 8 gear automagic
>be annoyed with key fob that is horribly aesthetically and practically
>be annoyed with parking in anything
>be annoyed with any small dents whatsoever
mostly:
>be annoyed with fags like you bringing down the street rep of the bmw and make me want to drive my ranger more often

>>16004709
>>be annoyed with fags like you bringing down the street rep of the bmw

///Mfag reporting in. This man is right to some extent.

Also, i'm not ever sure OP isn't anti-baiting BMW because what he wrote is kinda cringeworthy

>>16004661
That's because your BMW is 20 years old

>>16004689
It's called a key fob but nice post. No one ever says "Where did I place my fob?)

I don't own a bmw and this a bit of a tangent to the thread but seeing how it turned into an argument about key fobs this thread seems pretty appropriate.

Do BMW fobs not normally contain a key in the fob? I know the ones I've driven around or messed with have, so I really don't understand some of the points in this thread.

Of course the physical key will be unnecessary on a fully functional vehicle with push start but if the battery dies, how do you plan to get into the bastard short of breaking in and probably at minimum scratching up a door jam and stressing a weather strip.

Surely the fob contains a physical key and there is a keyhole or two around the vehicle just for such a situation of a dead battery?

>>16004747
Everyone bitching about OP saying key instead of fob is fucking autustic as fuck

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>be me putting groceries in car
>cute girl stops and stares
>continue, pretending like she's not there
>"can i close your door?"
>close door so she can leave
>frozen foods are getting warm, better hurry home

Delicious food senpai

>>16004726
i'm almost certain he's baiting. however, that's not the point - the point is there are a lot of chads, betas, etc who believe this to be true and will strive to get a bmw

i really wanted the E30 as my first fast car since like a few months ago but whenever i take the X3 out, i'm really re-considering

>>16004747

Yeah. There's a key in the bottom. Little known fact, if you insert the key on any door, and hold it in the lock position, it will close all the windows and sunroof.

>>16004689
Do you call your hotel room key a hotel access card?

Cause if you do, you're autistic

>>16004737
Keys turn

>>16004759
She wanted your dick man. That's the power of BMW

>>16004764
>Girls don't like BMWs

Do people like you have zero female friends?

>>16004773

Also, if you hold unlock on the fob, it'll open all the windows and sunroof

>>16004764
Please don't judge an E30 by driving an X3. I'm not gonna sit here ans shove its greatness up your ass, but try drive one and you will see why it has the reputation it does

>>16004778

See

>>16004776

>have old shitbox E28 535i I got for helping someone
>people think I have a nice car
>its 2007

just lmao

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>>16004537
>bmw dont have keys
>my 2009 bmw has this

>>16004814
"DELETE THIS!!!!"- Poorfag

>>16004814
Doesn't start the car.

>>16004833
>I-i-it d-d-don't start da c-c-car!!!

Stay poor poorfag

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>be bmw fag
>owned 3 bmws
>E34 M5, and 2 E36 M3s
>every now and then drive parents cars, E46, E92, and now F10
>don't give a shit about grills because in the South if you don't have a truck your not cool
Also
>realracersdontneedgirlfriends.jpg

Pic related

>>16004844
Are you implying the cars in your pic look good?

>>16004849
Implying that E30 dosent.

My M5 in the pic was stock

>>16004475
hahahah op you're such a faggot, this thread epitomizes bmw drivers

nobody gives a fuck about your bmw keys to your shitty 328i you faggot lmaoo

>>16004865
Girls do. Don't be mad poorfag

how it actually went down
>Be me at the bar
>See a cute blonde 9/10 talking to some guy
>Sit next him and pull my keys out of my pocket acting like my wallet is just too big for them
>he glances over and sees my BMW keys
>he immediately puts his back to the girl and flirts with me
>End up taking him home and fucking his brains out
>Promise to call but don't because he is a gold digging stick

I don't know why, but every M3 M5 X5M driver is always some skinny short kek. Like literally fucking omega tier. Why is that?

>>16004901
Atleast you admit I'm the pitcher fagboy.

>>16004878
you drive a $400/m car.. you cannot possibly call anyone a poorfag you cheap fuck lmaoo broke bitch

>>16004961
you're just mad you can't afford to buy a BMW, let alone keep it on the road
stay salty

>>16004726
Why the fuck did you put three stashes in front of the M?

Even BMW doesn't call is the "///M" series, they call it the M series

>>16005071
you're just mad nobody gives a fuck about your shitty bmw

keep reaffirming it by making posts about all the 3/10 girls you get with your 20k shitmobile

stay poor, stay mad, stay self concious

>>16005083
whatever poorfag
I don't care about opinions from people like you

>>16005083
>20k mobile

Lmao stay mad poorfag

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>>16005095
>>16005130
Nice samefag

There are 3 people in this world:

rich people who drive nice cars (me),
poor people,
poor people who think they're rich but everyone knows they're poor

hint: you're the third one

>>16005145
>Assumes we buy used cars because he does

Stay poor poorfag. Btw, that wasn't samefagging

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>>16005145
>rich people
>flyoverland

MY FUCKING SIDES

>>16005145
What do you mean by nice?

I know a rich dude and he drives a prius lol

>>16005160
>assuming girls can tell the difference between his 20k shitbox and these 5k shitboxes
no wonder you bmw fags are as hated as your fellow poor Mustang faggots

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>>16004759
That car is hideous. It looks like the michelin man and the pillsbury doughboy gave birth.

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>>16004640

>>16004841
>still hasn't posted proof of BMW ownership
pathetic fantasist

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>>16004475
>BMW
>rich
L O L
O
L

>>16005192

Thank you! I like it too...

>>16005203
we dont need proof of a shitty cheap car you dunce, every fucking other person on the street these days has a bmw

>>16005207
Np, how's the xDrive on that, fampai

>>16005229

I work nights so it's likely when I get off, the roads are trashed and unplowed. It hasn't let me down yet.

>>16005253
How long have you had it? Only thing I'd be worried about is the transfer case. Despite busting your chops I'm in the market for a 328(x)i as well, but they're so hard to find in stick.

>>16005081
That's just the retardation that comes with the badge.

>get in car
>drive
>drive some more
>eventually get back home
feels god man

>>16004781
lemme rephrase: all the grills worth chasing (for me anyway) are not turned on by the BMW - rather, it's a pretty annoying thot magnet. i drive my ranger to first dates and going out on town and use the X3 for chores, daily driving, road trips, etc. i don't aim for casual sex.

>>16004788
could you elaborate? i've rode the E36 and thought the E30 would just be a more supreme version of that - which is why i'd love to have a 91 or 92 E30.
I always like little anecd/o/tes about peoples infatuation on cars that they hold dear. probably my favourite part about this board is the sincerity that the anons can show some times.

>be not a poorfag
>don't buy poorfag tier car like bmw
the end

a major life goal of mine is to buy a 5 year old bentley and get custom plate "lol bmw" to put these fags in their place. i prolly have issues but w/e

I live in a rural but $$ area and just recently traded in my 550 for a lariat (gravel roads+ busy work life = less fun). Only inner city pussy thinks BMW= money .. I get a lot more tail now I have my rig rocket lol. Out of all my neighbors only 1 wife owns a 3 series. AlbertaStrong lol

Why are poorfags invading my thread?

>>16005653
Because OP and other BMW drivers keep posting.

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>>16004475

>>16005660
So why can't the poorfags stick to their shitbox threads where they can pretend the looks they get on the street are look of approval when it's really looks of disgust

>>16005666
Nice trips poorfag

>>16005681
>no poorfags allowed edition
>op broke his own rule immediately by posting the thread
I think theres your problem

>>16005704
And how am I a poorfag? You can only afford used shitboxes. I own a NEW BMW m240i xdrive

>ITT we use cars tangentially to brag about shit nobody cares about

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>>16005710
>a fucking 2-series

>>16005718
>Not an argument

Nice shitpost

>buy BMW 330e
>use my signals like a decent person
>everyone loves my car
>so far scored 0 pussy
>matter of fact, 0 girls

what am i doing wrong?

>>16005710
>how am I a poorfag?
>i own a m240i
think I found the problem....

>>16005710
Oh, I remember you. You posted multiple threads on here for a while asking if there was anything else you should get for under 50k, and proceeded to shoot down all suggestions because MUH BMW.
And now you feel the need to flood the board with shit threads and posts, praising BMW like they're the best thing ever and calling everyone else jealous and poor, just because you decided to blow 50k on BMW's smallest? That's some next-level insecurity right there, man. Pathetic.

>>16005710
>proud of xdrive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRpDBzFFI1g

>>16005737
Depends. You looking for a relationship or pussy? If pussy just go to a bar and put the keys on the bar.

>>16005738
>M240i is cheap LOL
>Hey guys I'm looking to buy a used car 10+ years old for 3k

Kill yourself

>>16005742
I actually never made a thread asking for cars under 50k. I have made BMW threads before though, sadly poorfags keep raiding them

>>16005759
Nice projection, want to keep making assumptions to make yourself feel better about your shitty bmw? you sound pretty embarrassed lol

>>16005772
Is this the part where you pretend to own an expensive car or the part where you admit you own a shitbox and attempt to justify it?

>>16005710
>I own a NEW BMW m240i xdrive
Do you really, or does the bank? Assuming the more likely scenario, I hope you enjoy handing over your money to some fat asshole instead of keeping it yourself because you just had to have newer plastic and shittier build quality in your vehicle.

>>16005954
Stay mad poorfag

>>16005777
Stay projecting poorfag, at least I dont own a cheap shitbox ;)

>>16005751
Why is quattro so much better?

>>16005965
Buying a car with a mortgage doesn't make you rich, bud. It makes you stupid.

>>16005969
What DO you own?

>>16005989
But I didn't bud. In fact it didn't cost me a cent. Stay poor poorfag

>>16005996
Maserati Quattroporte

>inb4 "hurr poorfag!!!"

in my college literally everyone has a bmw and girls dont give a fuck, but girls loveeee my maserati. "omg is that a ferrari??" "ur so rich!!!"

>>16005996
Then why did you dodge the question like an insecure little beta bitch? You're dumb as fuck and not worth talking to

>>16006024
So it's the part where you pretend to own an expensive car, got it

>>16006035
What's your question, I'll answer it

>>16006068
no, you see I own a car people legit care about. Girls look.

BMWs and other 25k shitmobiles nobody fucking cares lmao, I argue with you bmw faggots all the time from faggots like you who go up to girls and say "b-b-b-but im a rich kid too!!" and the girl just awkwardly smiles at them

>>16006105
So you can attract skanks, congrats.

>>16006125
That's been your argument all along. Don't you fucking backpedal now.

>>16006105
Keep pretending your shitbox cost 100k anon

>>16006132
That wasn't me dumbass, theres more than just you and me in this thread

>>16004475
ITT: stories that never happened

>>16006140
that wasnt me either dumbass hypocrite bitch

>>16006147
But it was you because I just replied to you thus you replied back dumb shit

>cancer: the thread

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Am i king douche bag yet?

>>16006185
Can't be much worse than OP.

>>16006197
Stay mad poorfags. I wish you poorfags would learn how to read

>>16006209
You're just acting like you're hot shit in your baby BMW, giving BMW owners a bad name. Great going.

>>16006221
Baby blue BMW? What? Mine is red faggot

>>16006225
You should take your own advice and learn to read, bud.

>>16006228
Woops lol, either way stay mad poorfag

>>16006245
How much do you make a year?

>>16006151
It wasn't me but ok. enjoy your shitbox nobody cares about

>>16006250
Well that depends on how much cash I feel like reporting to the feds but about tree fiddy. You?

>>16004865

aww this faggot is broke and shitposting on a $150 ASUS piece of shit laptop.

look at him. look at him and laugh

>>16006421
look at how butthurt the poor faggot got when someone called out his shitty 328i

lol stay mad broke bitch with a shitty fucking car

>>16006436
Oh nonono, you got it all wrong. It's an M240i xDrive, a NEW one at that.
You know, the one that costs almost the same as a base 5-series. NEW.

>>16006448
ok so youre samefagging again lol what a fag

btw you're poor as shit, nobody gives a fuck about your "new 2 series" broke fuck. i hate poor people, especially poor people who think theyre rich. you should honestly drive your cheap shitty bmw into a river and lock the doors

>>16006472
...Why would you take my OP-mocking shitpost seriously?

>>16006478
Sorry OP is such a faggot it's hard to differ him from a troll

>>16005314

This is my second one. My first was a 2006 330Xi which I had for 4 years, this is a 2011 which I picked up with 16k just last year. Never had any issue with either.

>>16006482
>>16006478
>>16006472
>>16006448
You are both fucking retards. You can make fun of the BMW all you want but you kiddies don't even have a grand in your bank account

>>16006482
>>16006478
Attention poorfags, this 30 second videos sums you up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-E8TPYIA-8

>>16006482
>>16006478
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seIovu2vdgU

>>16006751
>>16006760
>>16006773
You sound awfully insecure. You bought a car you like, good for you. I wouldn't buy the same car if I were in your situation, but I'm not you so who cares?
It's your money, it's your car, but don't pretend it's the greatest thing ever and seriously, don't act like you're above everyone because of it. That shit just makes you look like a massive fucking douche.

>>16006801
I made this thread asking for BMW stories, I even asked the poorfags to stay away but the blew up my thread.

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>>16006801

He probably has nothing else going on his life so he has to prop his car up to make himself feel important on this Mongolian basket weaving forum.

>>16006819
>>16006760
>>16006751
I N S E C U R E
N
S
E
C
U
R
E

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>>16006828
>>16006850
>Calls me insecure
>Feels the need to invade BMW threads out of jealousy

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>>16004475
>want to buy an E92 M3 to replace my boring E46
>look up reasonable 2008 M3s with about 100,000 miles
>asking $25k or more
>mfw

>>16004475
Coworker gets BMW as first car, first week it starts leaking fluids. Month later it overheats going 40 and stops in the middle of traffic. Last week the brakes on it stopped working.

Bought a salvage accord, fix it. It runs 24/7 no problems even though I drive it 2+ hours daily. The BMW is a few years older, still what a joke car.

>>16008221
That's why you get new anon

>>16008221
>bmw brakes stopped working
>salvage accord runs 24/7 no problems
nice bait

>>16004475
>living in some flyover state where local townies are impressed by a common bmw.....


Glad you got your dick wet tho

>>16004755
Here's your (OP)

>>16009376
I live in Jew York buddy

>>16009392
Thanks poorfag but I don't need handouts

>ITT mad poorfags