Looks like you were swerving a little back there /o/. Mind

OP gives amazing head.

>>14113615
Keeping my tires warm for better traction on the road

>>14113620
I was watching this anon get head from OP

I had to reach over to grab my beer before it spilled on my carpet, that's all.

>>14113635
As I was jerking it in the backseat, violently.

Because you've been tailgating me for the past 5 miles without passing me with your headlights up my ass and i couldn't focus on driving.

I have to poop like you wouldn't fucking believe.

>>14113615
>I was texting, I'm sorry

I'll take that $50 texting ticket before they start giving me field sobriety tests.

>>14113697
jesus fuck, they're like 495 in Ontario.

cash grab to the moon

>>14113615
Sorry, officer. The posi track kicked in and these street slicks just can't handle a 650 HP big block ford

>>14113704
>texting while driving

thanks for fucking up the 401 you brown faggot

Trying to turn the sub down shit was bangin too hard

>>14113728
> posi track
> on a ford
Also
> posi track "kicking in"

>>14113756
>autism

>>14113615
Have you seem the roads around here? Potholes are fucking everywhere.

>>14113756
>look guys I know the difference between a brand name and a car part thats commonly referred to by a brand name anyone else catch that

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Officer, that was not a swerve. That was what we call 'inertial drift' a hyper advanced driving technique, and it requires extreme car control. I know I might seem dangerous, but I assure you I am highly trained. I have taken the advanced driving course 'project.D' and I have watched Initial D over 500 times. The cup in my cupholder tells me if I am transferring too much weight and about to lose grip. So, officer, I am a highly trained professional and I know exactly what I am doing.

Sorry officer, my alignment is out a bit and I haven't been able to get to the shop due to the holidays.

>tfw this is totally true

It's a Camry, so...it just does that.

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>>14113802
>claims he is a highly trained professional
>needs a cup of water to tell him how he's driving

AM I BEING DETAINED?!

I WANT MY LAWYER

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Hmmm im drunk...wat do

>>14114782
You're fucked.

>>14113658
>being this easily distracted

Because I was doing all of these things at the same time while driving:

>getting my tootsie roll sized reverse chode sucked
> staying in first gear because i dont know how to drive manual, just stay in first forever, fuck it
> smoking weed, drinking everclear, eating cigarettes

>>14113767
I actually used this excuse when I wasn't paying attention on the Garrison and drifted into the incoming lane with an MP coming up the road.
>*Flases lights, I stop and we roll our windows down*
>You, uh, wanna tell me why you were in the oncoming lane there?
>Just...dodging some of these damn potholes. Don't need to damage my shitbox.
>*Sober, sage look and nod* Yeah, I swear one of our cruisers is always in the shop for that, it's hard on the suspension.
>Ok, well, you have a good day
>You too

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>>14113615
Gotta get dem sik snow driftz, Officer.

>>14115248
I haven't been stopped for it because it's actually true for me.

>>14113615
because you were right on my fucking ass and your lights were blinding me

legit response i had to that exact question about a year ago. fucking cop followed me for about 10 min riding my ass at 3am. ended up having to take a fucking breathalyzer test

I was actually balancing changing the CD as well as eating this mighty delicious burrito from Chipotle, it's so good, I can't put it down!

>>14113697
Ha. Have fun with the $490 ticket and three demerits in Ontario. Also, if the cop says that you endangered others as a result of texting, say goodbye to your license for two years.

>>14115468
It's 4 demerit points and $500 in Australia too. A friend of mine got done because he'd pulled over to the side of the road but didn't turn the engine off.

JUst try the steering on this motherfucker like holy shit this thing is pure ass to drive I have no idea what the fuck is going on with this thing just try it for yourself

>>14113615
Can't a man jack off in peace?

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>>14115481
>JUst try the steering on this motherfucker like holy shit this thing is pure ass to drive I have no idea what the fuck is going on with this thing just try it for yourself

Hmm, you're right mate, your steering seems busted. I'm gonna have to give you a defect notice so you'll need to take it to an authorised shop to get fixed and cleared. I'll let you off with a yellow though, you should be okay to drive home so long as you take it easy - you won't be allowed to drive after that point though, and if you're caught we'll have to give you a fine.

>>14115515
Jokes on you, this fucker passed inspection twice with this fucked up steering. Only remark was "oh, this one again, that steering is always fun"

>>14115478
Hahaha

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>>14115517
Mind telling me the shop you took the car to? Me and some of the lads from the stations might have to go and pay him a visit.

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>>14113615
Sorry sir, I was just enjoying my new Impala.

>>14115536
It's just the biggest group in the country, you should know it.

>>14115542
Come on now, here's the (you) you've been fishing for with that unsightly blob.

>>14113615
Yes i do mind.

>>14113615
My apologies, sir. I hit the Super Eurobeat switch. Makes me do some funky stuff.

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Oh, sorry officer I accidentally turned off my traction control. Driving RWD in this icy weather, eh?

My alignment is fucked and goes to the right so I have to correct.

>>14115409
Enjoy you food poisoning from improperly handled "organic" food.

>>14114782
floor it or just murder him when he gets next to you

Potholes. I don't want to fuck up my suspension or break rims.

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>>14113615
FUCK YOU NORMIE
GET OUT
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>14115478
why is our country so fucked anon?