Manhunt underway for man caught 'pleasuring himself'

>>163961

sit fat alone in the moview.
you underpants get uncomfortable.
its fucking dark.
zip it up and fix it all.
some bitch sees it in the dark from other side of the hall.
leave the movie without thinking anything.
suddenly the manhunt..
SWAT TEAMS following your car to your home.
you are on morning Tv as a Moji-Perv.

>>163961
If Peewee can be arrested for doing the same while watching porn in a theater, this guy is screwed.

>breastfeeding in public is legal
>twerking in public is legal
>women wearing clothes that reveal their entire ass cheeks and breasts is legal as long as the nipples are covered
>sexually suggestive scenes capable of giving a man an unwanted erection are allowed in PG movies like The Emoji Movie
>softcore porn is allowed in R rated movies
>quietly massaging your benis to relieve the pressure of an erection while keeping it concealed in your pants in a dark movie theater while sitting alone is illegal

so it's basically illegal to be a man in modern western society

What a sick fuck.

Going to see the Emoji movie.

>>163974
It's illegal to be a faggot like you in Saudi Arabia

Maybe I should move there so I don't put up with your kind. I'd call a manhunt on you you little fuck, then the men can have their way with you

>>163994
I'm heterosexual though

>>164000
You clearly aren't

Who other than a gay man cares so much about the 'plight of the modern man'. If you get hunted down because you're a weakling that can't control his own urges you deserve it. Survival of the strongest, nigger.

>>163994
> not taking this fag and making him your pet
Come on its 4 chan take this beta bitch and show him whos boss.

lol what retarded mong sheriff would conduct a fucking "manhunt" over something like this?
>sir we have a report you were masturbating in a theater
>no i wasn't, do you have any corroborating evidence?
>no, but then why did you leave?
>I was told to leave by the manager and didn't want to make a scene
>oh
case closed, your tax dollars well spent

>>163974
So it was you? I knew it had to be someone on 4chan

>>163961
Is that B-Boogie?

>>164002
>survival of the fittest meme
Modern man has told nature to fuck off.

>>164039
Then pray tell, why isn't this skeezy fuck taking your sage advice and continuing to evade the authorities well after the news broke? Cops can be idiots, but would any responsible LEO take any chances when a suspected sex offender goes missing?

>>165217
Because men accused of sexual crimes are never treated fairly, even when the claims are ludicrous and they're proven innocent. False sexual crime allegations are cheap and in demand.

>>165219
Then why did you even bother to write >>164039, if you're the same anon that wrote it? If he had nothing to fear, all he had to do was turn himself in as soon as he saw the news and defend/explain himself as you stated. How the hell would hiding help your situation instead of worsening it by forcing the law's hand, especially as it can't afford to take chances with sex offenders?

>>163961
He looks like the kind of guy who would jerk off in a movie theater filled with children tbh.