Rescuers Remove 550-pound Woman, 75, Found ‘Molded’ to Living

must've been quite a comfy chair

>tfw you will never be a human/furniture cyborg

The master is real.

Why do people keep feeding these blobs? If you kept giving an opioid addict heroine, you would be sent to prison, you keep feeding someone who is too fat to even move to shit in a different place than they sleep and sit at and you're an upstanding citizen? Jesus christ, America, get your fucking shit together

>>113807
>>Heroine

muhgiggles.jpg

>>113732
But the crap food dealers made money.
They're helping the economy. They helped her.
It's the american way. You're not very amerian.

>>113849
Wtf I hate America now

>>113732
Reminds me of a pasta paramedic story very similar to this. Where the woman's son was feeding her and not taking out the trash. And when they tried to remove her from the couch she died because she had literally become one with the couch: they could see the fat and meat when they pulled her off. Absolutely disgusting. I'd rather off myself then die attached to a chair.

Skin likes to grow into things, like really slow velcro. If you don't move, you'll eventually attach to whatever surface you're on.

>>113872
Even another person?

Well this made me very depressed.

God dammit.

>>113854
I remember that, when paramedics arrived she was fairly unhealthy, when they removed her from the couch to take her to hospital her gangrenous back stayed on the couch, and one kidney basically plopped onto the storytellers foot

Son was prosecuted iirc

>>113872
There was a story about a similar couch woman who had to be removed from the building still seated on the couch because she had grown into the cushion

>>113882
*pats your back*

>>113872
Well I'm never sleeping again.

>>113732
Ach! Reminds of of when an uncle served in the Royal Canadian Navy in 1966. They went ashore to do annual health & welfare visits at remote native communities on the west coast. They evacuated by boat one female blob that had maggots living underneath her fat folds & tits. Said several guys hurt their backs getting her in & out of the boat launch. Jeez-louise!

Just watched an episode of The young pope that featured a character like this. They had to remove a wall just to get the fat ass out of her apartment building.

>>113766
My sides

>>113732
I have no issue laughing at fatties doing fatty things, but this made me sad. Tipping over their scooter trying to grab soda is hilarious, but this is depressing and I sincerely hope this lady gets better.

>>113732
>probably from /b/

>>113878
Who knows anon let's test it out by placing our penises together forever

>>113976
You're still sitting or standing. The only solution is to float in zero G.

I just wanna know what she was thinking during the first time she took a shit in the chair.
Like, that was the point of no return

>>114163
How would you pee?

>>114468
Does she have to make a conscious effort, or did it fall out without her noticing? Did she have to sit their wondering for awhile, thinking "did I just shit myself? It's been a few days I must have shit myself."

>>113854
Does a video exist?

>>114453
I'm not standing in one place for that long though.

>>114469
How does catdog?

>>113854
>>113884
>>114473
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4eadUKcFtq3MHAwcDc4b0l2LTA/view?usp=sharing

>>113732
>that picture
>.uk
Hmm.
Seems to be an anglosphere problem.

>>113854
>they could see the fat and meat
the meat...

>>113732
Can we take a moment to recognize the small miracle that a 550 pound woman is alive at 75? How in the fuck!?

>>115008
O_O

>>115008
>Based on the injuries due to her back practically rotting away, I decided to stop CPR due to injuries being incompatible with life.
This is funnier than it should be, probably because of the phrasing.