To this board, I feel I really must confess, my favourite train’s

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The handcart fan, we are, yes, all well aware
is bony and blotchy and covered in hair
They’re heaving
when leaving
and then take fucking ages to get anywhere

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The Turbostar one seventy’s my regular
though in speed it doesn’t go for the jugular
and the vices
of rail prices
say to commuters, ‘what a mug you are.’

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I once saw the Sir Nigel Gresley
Steam past Perth (or was it Paisley?)
this great big machine
was kept weirdly clean
And had been laid on expressly

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To the Germans the immense Herr Schwerer Gustav /
Seemed like a maginot-line busting must have /
But the Blitzkrieg machine /
Meant it was mostly seen /
in Sevastopol, where Soviets it pissed aff. /

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Of the Armoured train Hurban, pic is alas just a recreation /
But an original car’s in a museum of the Slovak Nation /
Its commander, Kukliš /
Couldn’t give a fuck less /
After repulsing the Krauts, he left it for partisan agitation

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A regional train in Seville
didn't start 'cos the driver was kill.
There's cutbacks that are
for benefit of HSR
and the regional is waiting there still.

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If you want to dawdle on the Shinkansen /
Gomennasai, my slow friends, think again /
Though the chaps of Osaka /
politely speaking lack a /
quick diction, loafers will find they catch no train /

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When it comes to mountain trains in particular /
My preference is not for the funicular /
to clamber /
steep camber /
rack rail for all not perpendicular /

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A Class 21, not a Deltic you see
More akin to a 'Mini Me'
Having but one engine
With the triangular endin'
Meant none survived past '73

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To travel from Moscow to Vladivostok /
adventurers must know the best rolling stock /
Unless they want to fail they /
Trans-Siberian Railway /
for six thousand miles is too far to walk /

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>>1037704
An idiot has been made of me
For I mistook it for a 23
The mistake is all mine
for not recognising the fine
outline of a Baby D

>>1037706

Though a swot on trains I am not /
your mistake’s easily forgot: /
that sweet Baby D /
picture pleases me /
and if am judged, I care not

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On the deliciously designed locomotive/
here is one thirties deco design most emotive /
like a torpedo /
(to others: dildo) /
Henry Dreyfuss designed without pervy motive

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The sleek A4 on th' horizon
Tis lovely to lay eyes on
The air cutting curve
Of which purpose they serve
Glisten when the sun shines on

>>1037611
is there a way to use autism as a complement. because I would like to do that right now.

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On the old Malaysian Golden Arrow /
You once might see an asian tree sparrow /
But alas, ‘no more’ /
said Kuala Lumpur /
axing the Malaysian Golden Arrow

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>>1037718
(To those who might be curious /
or desire to be furious/
about the wee train
in that refrain
Check rail book Theroux-ious)

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One man at the GWR
Took the idea of streamlining too far
And applied sheet metal
to a massive moving kettle
And made something best seen from afar

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I think there is no sight quite so serene /
As the Jacobite traversing the scene /
The CV proves he’s /
Good in the movies /
Just a pity they’re about a stupid magic teen

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May I draw your attention
To this lovely little invention
Designed for British Rail
Specifically not to fail
And to be built to current convention

Out of grumps and a desire for a stunt /
I hoped to rhyme Beeching with cunt /
I am really still quite bitter /
‘bout routes he sent to the shitter /
empty lines, no carriages, no engines shunt

It’s really quite hard to write a charming chanson
About services operated by Branson
(That same daft buffoon
failed at balloon)
and named his org after those who kept their pants on

George Stephenson was famed for his rocket /
all cogs, gears, flywheels, pistons and a sprocket /
There’s no need for any peering /
He’d show you its engineering /
but if you asked to take a look at his train, he’d say ‘sock it’

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The intercity 125 /
a classic design kept alive /
From Paignton to Penzance /
Punters give it a glance /
then want to give it a drive

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The journey from Bergen to Oslo (Norway) /
The Scandinavians have filmed all the way /
From the front of the train /
You see all the terrain /
And if watched on youtube, it takes all day.

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This fine product of Dean design
Lived out its days on the western main line
Though people may shun
Its ability to break the ton
You can't deny how the brass may shine

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This large pacific, one of a kind
Isn't actually that hard to find
One of few with a Caprotti
Saved from being grotty
On a scrapyard, ivy and rust lined

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Observe if you will, the Jubilee
Similar to a Black 5, you will see
However the wheels are bigger
And boasts a superior figure
For this engine was for passengers only.

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>>1037611
The Amtrak train to hell,
The Amtrak train to hel,
DC to NYC,
The Amtrak train to hell

YOU PEOPLE SUCK AT METER REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>1039176
The amtrak loco left the yard
I want to be a high speed train
So it crashed on purpose
Fuck poetry, I can't do it, fuck fuck fuck