ITT: LBS greentexts >be me >be working at LBS today >tard

Get a duck call so if they come in again you can quack back.

>>1027526
should probably just keep a shotgun under the counter loaded with birdshot

>>1027525
>then they leave, no talking to us or buying stuff or anything, they literally came into our shop just to let the tards look around and fuck with our carbon wheels and quack at us

so the LBS is a worthwhile social endeavor that has a purpose after all - who knew ?

>>1027533
Better than using it on real birds at least.

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tards are good safety devices

you mount a tard on your bike to protect you in front on collisions.

>>1027537
A curio for the literally retarded

when I go to the LBS are they making fun of me after I leave because I have aspergers?

>>1027555
If you don't buy anything they make fun of you for having assburgers.If you buy something, they make fun of you for being stupid enough to buy something from an LBS

>>1027555
Yes

I mean I would

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Standard LBS experience #1
>go to LBS
>everything is overpriced
>ask one of the staff a simple question about a product
>listen to his rambling attempt at a sales pitch for 40 minutes
>tell him I'll think about it
>leave
>go home
>post on 4chan

Standard LBS experience #2
>go to LBS
>ask if they have X
>"no but we can order it"
>ask if they have Y
>"no but we can order it"
>ask if they have Z
>"no but we can order it, it'll just take 5 weeks and cost a million dollars"
>

>>1027585
It's not that bad. Out LBS'es have come to sense to mostly stock items that people might need here and now (tubes, patches, chains of any size) or things that need trying out (saddles, shoes).

Also, they have superb return policy, even for basic parts, so if you're not sure that the new brake disc will clear your fork, you get your money back, no questions asked. Ofc that works only for bulk packaging items, not branded vacuum sealed blisters.

The only reason I even go to bike shops is because I have a 30% discount on everything due to my job having a deal with the shop. No haggling just tell them I'm from X and show the badge and boom 30% off from prices. So they are sometimes competitive with online prices. Or at least not bearable if I need something right now.

>go to LBS
>it's organized so that only small misc stuff and display pieces are in the shop floor
>95% of customers need service because of this even if you know what you want
>even the 5% can't just walk in and buy what they need because all the sales people are serving customers
>wait 10 - 30 min for someone to help you
>oh we don't have that, would you like to order it through us
>no thanks I'll just have it delivered straight to my door

>oh we don't have that, would you like to order it through us
>no thanks I'll just have it delivered straight to my door

>go to LBS
>try a bike
>leave
>buy it online

wooooow

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>go to LBS for carbon wheelset
>quack at jerk ass employee
>get ignored
>walk out with my bitches

>>1027592
Who the fuck vacuum seals bike parts?

>go to LBS
>endurbro shop guy trying to sell me a heinous looking 2017 stumpy
>call him a joey and walk out

>>1027585
You have to keep in mind that most bike shops don't have enough funds to have all of the very specific parts that you may need on stock. Sure they will most likely have every tube and tire size under the sun, but that's because it sells the most and it's a guaranteed return.

My shop has had this one fork in stock for a few years now and we have had to keep marking down the price on it - even past what we bought it for originally - just to get some money back on it.

As long as they don't charge you for shipping, ordering through your LBS isn't bad

>go to LBS
>buy a tube
>have to mortgage my house again to afford it
>employees who are literally retail wagecucks treat me like I'm a homeless person looking for somewhere to urinate
>I actually am a homeless person now because I had to buy a second tube
>go back to my car that i live in
>LBS employees on break are smashing it with U-locks and calling me a cager
>they speed off on their Cervélos they bought with their employee discounts

>>1027628
Jews.

>>1027613
IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME!

>>1027662
>call him a joey
people still use this term in bongoland ? i am amused.

>>1027525
>crackhead walks in with her two pairs of crack babies
>first pair of crack babies buy a pair of bmx grips and run outside to the walmart 20" they rode to the shop
>second pair of crack babies won't stop shouting while their crackhead mom tries to understand why we charge money for labor
>one of the second crack babies literally shits in his pants while the first pair of crack babies chew on the grips instead of putting them on the bike