how do we stop Robert Christgau from editing every wikipedia

he just writes reviews for people that don't like reviews
dude was smart enough to get into dartmouth when he was like 17 and he still ended up pioneering the modern day nu male

>>75035676
He set the trend for every hack with a creative writing degree to decide they were a music critic.

>>75035703
The dude wanted to be a novelist but he didn't have the talent to create anything good so he devoted his life instead to shitting on actually talented people.

>>75035644
we can't, he's unstoppable

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>>75035644

>fantano eloquently gives his reasons why he likes/dislikes an album
>wikipedia doesn't count him
>Christgau writes a nonsensical 10 word review
>gets to be on every album page

Well, he can't seem to get over having his ass kicked in high school by football jocks.

Korn [Epic, 1995]

The cover art depicts a little girl cowering as the shadow of a menacing hook-handed rapist draws near. The band loves this image and exploits it in all their trade ads as Sony flogs their death-industrial into its second year. They also sing about child abuse--guess what? They're aggin it. But if their name isn't short for kiddie porn, then the band should insist on a music video where they all get eaten by giant chickens. C+

>doesn't actually review the music
>instead he reviews the cover art while accusing the band of being pedophiles

Crosby, Stills, and Nash [Atlantic, 1969]

Rated by request, I've written elsewhere that this album is perfect, but that is not necessarily a compliment. Only David Crosby's vocal on "Long Time Gone" saves it from a special castrati award. Pray for Neil Young. B+

>>75036221
So basically, he says this was shit and he only rated it a B+ due to peer pressure.

>>75035676
>ivy league
>related to intelligence

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>>75036221
>I've written elsewhere that this album is perfect, but that is not necessarily a compliment

Stop giving this fag attention.

Coup D'Etat [Capitol, 1982]

Now that they've copped to heavy metal tempos, they could last as long as Judas Priest, although since the HM hordes do demand chops, Wendy O. might be well advised to try singing with her nether lips. Not only can't she carry a tune (ha), she can't even yell. Inspirational Thing She Says Backward on Outgroove: "The brainwashed do not know they are brainwashed." Inspirational Message Scratched on Outgroove: "You were not made for this." D-

Gee, this is awfully...sexist for a guy who's always whining about misogyny in music.

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>>75036099
http://www.idolator.com/319049/wikinerds-not-convinced-that-robert-christgau-is-an-effective-consumer-guide

this has been an issue for a decade

Fantastic Fedora [Capricorn, 1974]

Sub-average white band. C-

On Avery Island [Merge, 1996] :(

In The Aeroplane Over The Sea [Merge, 1998] :(

>>75036543
>A 'Neither' rating indicates an album that may impress the casual listener with consistent craft or an arresting track or two. And then it won't.

He is right about NMH though.

A Farewell To Kings [Mercury, 1977]

The most obnoxious band currently making a killing on the zonked teen circuit--not to be confused with Mahogany Rush who at least spare us the reactionary gentility. Imagine a power trio Kansas or Uriah Heep with the vocals cranked up an octave. Or two. D+

>>75036458
lol

The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway [Atco, 1974]

I wanted to call this the most readable album since Quadrophenia, but it's only the wordiest--two inner sleeves covered with lyrics and a double-fold that's all small-type libretto. The apparent subject is the symbolic quest of a Puerto Rican hood/street kid/graffiti artist named Rael, but the songs neither shine by themselves nor suggest any thematic insight I'm eager to pursue. For art-rock, though, it's listenable, from Eno treatments to a hook that goes (I'm humming) "on Braw-aw-aw-aw-aw-aw-dway." B-

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>>75035913
this

> be pathetic, scrawny pussy in high school
> get bullied by CHADs because it's fucking easy
> spend 50+ years exacting your revenge on the music they listened to and everything it influenced

Christgau may be one of the most pathetic people I've ever heard of

>>75035824
>fantano
>eloquent

Come on dude, he just dribbles out adjectives. He never says anything about the overall structure. He's a hack.

Christgau is a cunt

>>75036583
That's literally the opposite get some fucking taste, dude. You're listening to a guy who thinks Nicki Minaj is the greatest musician of the past decade.

>Gira mailed Christgau a bag of cum after he reviewed Filth
>immediately stopped reviewing Swans
Lol

>>75037089
Topkek

I'd actually take this guy over, say, Fantano or anyone on Pitchfork. At least his douchiness is actually entertaining.

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YOU DON'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU WRITE
YOU'RE AN IMPOSTER

>>75037188
If you want entertaining doucheness why not scaruffi? At least he has actual opinions instead of shitty post-modern attempts at critiques.

Dressed To Kill [Casablanca, 1975]

I feel schizy about this record. On the one hand, it rocks with a brutal, uncompromising force reminiscent of a stripped-down, heavied-up Dave Clark Five or MC5 and the songwriting is very much improved over albums one and two. On the other hand, the lyrics dimly recall the liberal fantasy of rock concert as Nuremberg Rally, with sexism at its cruelest hinted at in songs like "Room Service" and "Ladies in Waiting", a situation made more ominous by the band's refusal to bare the grinning faces beneath the makeup. That may be just the effect they intend, although for the worst of reasons. You damn well know that if they didn't have their eye on maximum commerciality, they'd call themselves Blowjob. B-

>>75037089
Honestly, Gira was a douche. The album got a B+, isn't that good enough for him?

Little Earthquakes [Atlantic, 1991]

She's been raped and she's written a great song about it, the quietly frightening acapella "Me and a Gun". That means she's not Kate Bush. But although I'm sure she's her own person and all, Kate Bush's market share she'd happily settle for. C+

Under the Pink [Atlantic, 1993] *bomb*

Boys for Pele [Atlantic, 1996] *bomb*

From The Choirgirl Hotel [Atlantic, 1998] *bomb*

Strange Little Girls [Atlantic, 2001]

"'97 Bonnie and Clyde" *choice cuts*

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>>75038069
>Little Earthquakes [Atlantic, 1991]

>She's been raped and she's written a great song about it, the quietly frightening acapella "Me and a Gun". That means she's not Kate Bush. But although I'm sure she's her own person and all, Kate Bush's market share she'd happily settle for. C+

>>75038125
Tons of punk/alternative/indie chicks claim to have been raped. A lot of them probably weren't.

Àgaetís Byrjun [Fat Cat, 2001]

Once there was a sensitive, conceited young fellow named Jonsi Birgisson who lived on a permafrost island surrounded by a cold, dark sea. Jonsi was a well-meaning person who loved music, and he yearned to put more warmth in the world even though he wasn't exactly sure what warmth was. Not just "throwing an electric blanket on the corpse of electronica," that he knew. Jonsi longed to blaze "inspired new avenues in sonic landscapes," to deliver "shamelessly tear-stained epics" in "the falsetto cadence of angels," to turn "4AD-styled, sepia-toned instrumental passages" into "awe-inspiring new-religious mantras." Stuff like that. He did all this and more on a thematically linked work where some of the sonic landscapes were entrancing (although not warm). Because he was conceited, sometimes he would announce that these soundscapes were destined to change musical history, and then sometimes mean people would make fun of him. But he always had the perfect retort. "You have to admit I'm smarter than Enya," he would say. And about that he was certainly right. B

( ) [MCA, 2002]

?_;@$.is C

Takk. . . [Geffen, 2005] *bomb*

>>75038193
See previous about his shitty postmodern critiques.

>>75038193
Sigur Ros were just another bad Radiohead wannabe band.

>>75036794
I tried listening to TLLDOB. I made it about a quarter of the way through before giving up.

Berlin [RCA Victor, 1973]

I read where this song cycle about two drug addicts who fall into sadie-mazie in thrillingly decadent Berlin is a . . . what was that? artistic accomplishment, even if you don't like it much. Well, the category is real enough--it describes a lot of Ornette Coleman and even some Randy Newman, not to mention a whole lot of books--but in this case it happens to be horseshit. The story is lousy--if something similar was coughed up by some avant-garde asshole like, oh, Alfred Chester (arcane reference for all you rock folk who think you're cool cos you read half of Nova Express) everyone would be too bored to puke at it. The music is only competent--even Bob Ezrin can't manufacture a distance between the washed-up characters and their washed-out creator when the creator is actually singing. Also, what is this water-boy business? Is that a Buddhist cop? Gunga Din? Will Lou lick the bloomin' boots of 'im that's got it? C

>>75037016
Yes. Yes he is.

Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables [Cherry Red, 1980]

I want there to be more punk rock, I do, I do. I want there to be more left wing new wave actually. By Americans, I swear. But not by an out-of-work actor with Tiny Tim vibrato who spent the first half of the '70s creating rock cabaret. And it sounds as if, although I'm being generous here, that Jello Biafra started listening to the Stooges in 1977. C-

>>75038505
This review is altogether wrong, he's mixing up DK with a different San Francisco punk band that had an openly gay frontman. Jello Biafra was 13-14 in the early 70s, he couldn't possibly have been inventing rock cabaret back then.

>>75038550
I recall from one of his columns that he spent a good deal of 1980 writing "Consumer Guide to the '70s" and maybe banged out that review in a haste in between other tasks and didn't bother to proofread it. He said he didn't review a lot of albums in real time that year and instead binge-listened to 1980 releases near the end of the year.

Street Songs [Columbia, 1985]

The head Journeyman's cameo on Aid For Africa gave me an idea of what I'd missed out on, which was the musical equivalent of gastroenteritis. Pat Boone never learned his lesson, so why should Steve Perry? Oversinging signifies not soul, but will and desperation. Not docked a notch for good intentions and in case Sam Cooke has finally taught him a lesson. B-

>>75038724
>We Are The World
>comes out early '85, almost a year after Street Songs (April 1984)

I bet he ignored SS for months and after hearing this song, belatedly went and shit out a review.

>>75035676
muh nu-male

Let's Dance [EMI America, 1983]

Anyone who wants Dave's $17 million fling to flop doesn't understand how little good motives have to do with good rock and roll. Rodgers & Bowie are a rich combo in the ways that count as well as the ways that don't, and this stays up throughout, though it's perfunctory professional surface does make one wonder whether Bowie-the-thespian really cares much about pop music these days. "Modern Love" is the only interesting new song, the remakes are pleasantly pointless, and rarely has such a lithe rhythm player been harnessed to such a flat groove. Which don't mean the world won't dance to it. B

Stephen Stills [Atlantic, 1970]

Steve Stills always projects an effortless swing and his tradeoffs with Eric Clapton on "Go Back Home" are classic. There's only one thing that remains undefined--oh wait, it's the songs. C+

Stephen Stills 2 [Atlantic, 1971]

Steve Stills has always come on as the ultimate rich hippie--arrogant, self-pitying, shallow, sexist. Fortunately he's never quite reached his true potential, but flashes of brilliance remain--the single, "Marianne", is very nice especially if you don't listen too hard to the lyrics, but there's more to the order of an all-male chorus with jazz horns singing straightly and in perfect unison the phrase "It's disgusting" over and over. Keep it up SS, it'll be a pleasure watching you fail. C-

Manassas [Atlantic, 1973]

In which Stills finally gets his shit together and deigns to cooperate with real musicians in a real band. Some cuts on this four-sided set even echo in your head if you play them enough. Only problem is, you're never sure where the echos are coming from. C-

Stills [Atlantic, 1975]

In which Stephen Stills recycles his "favorite set of changes/good for a couple of songs". His supporters will find that endearing, I know. They may even dig him copping a lick from Alice Cooper later on in the lyric. But me, I find it pathetic. C-

>>75036686
Obviously this man didn't listen to Xanadu OR cygnus because those two songs are a God send

Greatest Hits [Chess, 1975]

Freddie King's renown as the inventor of electric blues guitar is a reward for his shameless Anglophilia--here documented on "Palace of the King". Forget what Anglophiles claim of his recent work--the man's been coasting for years. The R&B sides he cut in the '60s for (of all things) King Records are acute. Here he makes do with a bunch of Leon Russell and Don Nix boogies, the vocals blurred, the guitar all fake and roll. C

>>75036099
this was actually a good review though

>>75040812
Freddie King was cool, come on this isn't fair.

Infidels [Columbia, 1983]

All the wont and care that Dylan put into this album shows--musically, that is, "License to Kill" being the only dud. His distaste for the daughters of Satan has gained new voluptitude of tone--showing neither hatred or pity or contempt, he approaches women with a solicitousness that's strangely chilling, as if he knows what a self-serving scumbag he's being, if only subliminally. Nevertheless, the man has turned into a hateful crackpot, from equating Jews with Zionism to the muddled disquisition on international labor to the ital al Hassidim that inspires no less than three superstitious attacks on space exploration. God only knows (and I use that phrase advisedly) how far he'll go if John Glenn becomes president. C

Love Will Keep Us Together [A&M, 1975]

One expected a lousy album, but not this lousy. Their good sense in appropriating Neil Sedaka's unused hit arrangement was a one-shot: the rest of the time they spread the middle of the road so thin they make "Rainy Days and Mondays" sound like "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting." Admirers of the single should invest in a copy of Sedaka's Back. D-

>>75041191
>Captain & Tenneille

Hey, nobody was expecting Motorhead here.

>>75035806
unequivocally this

>>75035824
>>75037007
>buhhh Christgau too smart 4 me I need my hand-holding structural reviews as if I never heard the album in my life
god P4K babbies are atrocious

>>75037391
Scaruffi isn't douchey just autistic and his writing is stale. 40% of his reviews are just namedropping other bands that have similar traits or played the same note at one point

>>75041246
But you can find a copy or two of LWKUT at any thrift store next to the Andy Williams Christmas albums. :^)

>>75038168
maybe 4 of them weren't, but there's easily way more who haven't claimed and have

>>75036099
>doesn't actually review the music
>"They also sing about child abuse"
did you even read the fucking review?

>>75041191
>Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting
That song is okay...it's not great though.

The River [Columbia, 1980]

All the standard objections apply. His beat is still clunky, his singing overwrought, his sense of significance shot through with Mazola Oil. He's too white and too male, though he's decent enough to wish he weren't; too unanalytic and fatalistic, though his eye is sharp as can be. Yet by continuing to root his writing in the small victories and large compromises of ordinary joes and janies whose need to understand as well as celebrate is as restless as his own, he's grown into a bitter empathy. These are the wages of young romantic love among those who get paid by the hour, and even if he's only giving forth with so many short fast ones because the circles of frustration and escape seem tighter now, the condensed songcraft makes this double album a model of condensation--upbeat enough for a revery there, he elaborates a myth about the fate of the guys he grew up with that hits a lot of people where they live. A-

>>75041685
Oddly enough, there's seemingly no photos of him from the 80s anywhere. There's 70s pics and more recent pics, but no 80s ones at all.

>>75041432
This is the guy who thinks _metal_ is overwrought and nihilistic.

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"The fact that he's the one who decided who gets exposed in New York was sort of getting on our nerves. Christgau started getting bugged by people like Tim Sommer, who really wanted to write about us. And Christgau says "Yeah, I don't see it." So finally he decided to do an article on us, and he gets this guy named Picarella, and it was a really nasty thing they wrote about us. I wrote him a letter that was a diatribe, and his letter back said that it didn't matter. After that I wanted to do a song about slicing up Christgau, and it turned out to be the advice-to-the-lovelorn "Kill Yr Idols". So we put that out and people started digging on it. And I was getting calls from people like Giorgio Gomelsku, who wanted to put on an anti-Christgau festival. My feeling was that we'd said our piece; there was no need to keep attacking the guy. One night he went to see the Replacements and some kid tried to light him on fire. He blamed it on us. "Bands like Sonic Youth are telling kids to kill me." he wrote. And he was getting really paranoid. He wrote me a letter saying "Don't ever expect to see your albums in 'Christgau's Consumer Guide', and I wrote back 'Boo fucking hoo.'"

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>>75035644
i only know one music critic desu

Ozzy Osbourne

Distinctions Not Cost Effective [1980s]: I have no interest in his albums, but I do appreciate how he mooned the PMRC every chance he got. And his egg-frying scene in Penelope Spheeris's "The Decline of Western Civilization: The Metal Years" is a classic.

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>>75041876
Amazing how this Rolling Stone review of "The Ultimate Sin" contrasts. Unlike Christgau, this reviewer "got" Ozzy and what he was really about, which was that he wasn't a bad guy or anything, just a kind of lovable overgrown kid who's still mentally 10 years old.

>>75041685
The few times when he writes a detailed review, it's a cringy as fuck piece like the one he did for Damita Jo.

>>75042004
https://www.robertchristgau.com/xg/music/stones-86.php

Or this one for Dirty Work, an embarrassingly awful album that even diehard Stones fans have disowned. It's an album they had to do to fulfill a contractual obligation and the songs are mostly just the band singing about how much they want to kill each other.

And Liz Phair S/T. He wrote a whole essay on that one when the album is a fucking travesty by all standards.

>>75035644
Is there anything this guy actually likes.

>>75042085
Only Chuck Berry and the New York Dolls. And apparently shitty Janet Jackson albums.

>>75041390
To be fair, they sung about child abuse because the lead singer was molested when he was a kid

>>75042095
Just your typical old-fag.

>>75042108
Which say...

Follow The Leader [Epic, 1998]

Korn deny they're metal--that's Judas Priest, all four-four pomp and solos. They nevertheless demonstrate that the essence of metal--an expressive mode it seems will be with us for as long as ordinary whiteboys pity themselves, fear girls, and are permitted to rage against a world they'll never beat--is self-obliterating volume and self-aggrandizing display. Calling up death metal's signature groan to prove he's authentic, poor not actually abused Jonathan Davis clicks, creaks, groans, squeaks, squawks, and emotes his way through dull verses, eerie licks, strange bridges, and a hyperactive rhythm section. How much his fan identify with such verses as Cameltosis's "You trick-ass slut" and "I'll kiss your lifeless skin" is unclear. But I'm parent enough to hope they find a more fully-formed designate than someone whose idea of social commentary is netcasting softcore S&M to any teenager with a logon. C+

>poor not actually abused Jonathan Davis
Wow, this was a dick move on his part.

>>75041787
it is

>>75038965
t.nu male

Nobody's Daughter [Mercury, 2010]

A lot of people don't like her and I don't either for that matter. And it's also true that the oil spill is just another thing for her to pretend to care about. Thing is, I can use some new punk rage in my life and unless you're a fan of BP Petroleum or Goldman-Sachs, so can you. So who better to deliver the goods than a 45 year old woman who knows how to throw her weight around better than half the dweens, zitfaces, and tattooed road-dogs who make up the scene these days. B+

>>75041814
man Sonic Youth were total wimps. Also fuck them for exacerbating the "Yr" stylization epidemic. Now every edgy 19 yr old has to make a point to change every "your" to "yr"

>>75042298
>punk rage
This album sounds like Avril Lavigne B-sides.

Backstreet Boys [Jive, 1997]

I'm not claiming I would have gotten the message without a 13-year-old I know broadcasting it from her boombox. But keynoted by two guaranteed pop classics, one dance and one heart, this is genius teensploitation. I give half credit to songwriter-svengali Max Martin, who's put in time with Ace of Base. But as someone who still suspects Abba were androids, I award the other half to the Boys, without whose sincere if not soulful simulations of soul and sincerity Martin's slow ones would be as sickening as any other promise that's made to be broken. Together the team manufactures a juicy sexual fantasy for virgins who get nervous when performers grab their dicks and think it's gross when teenage ignoramuses copy the move. They deserve one. After all, it is gross. A-

>>75042359
At this point, all possibility of taking this man seriously as a reviewer ended.

>>75042439
Nah that was the piece he wrote on Damita Jo talking about how sexy the music was and how it got the blood flowing to the ol' groin. I'll leave it go that this was a 61 year old man writing that and instead focus on the more obvious that Janet Jackson's entire discography deserves a D or a bomb rating. If her name had been Janet Smith, she'd be working in a hair salon at the mall.

Ready to Die [Fat Opossum, 2013]

his first album worth noticing in longer than one need remember shows that even facing death along with his buddies, he'll cling admirably to the schtick that's served him so profitably for so long ("Job", "Dirty Deal") **

>>75042439

t. irrelevant music opinion

>>75042530
No, that's Robert Christgau

Reinventing the Steel [EastWest, 2000] *bomb*

are you just posting random reviews now?

>>75042493
Heck, he gave As to a bunch of Yoko Ono/POB albums when all of those should have also gotten a D or bomb rating.

>>75042539
oh I forgot anon's, not Christgau's, music opinion is featured on hundreds of wikipedia articles

>>75042563
That album was garbage though. This is correct.

>>75042585
>being this plebian
Why does /mu/ hate Yoko Ono so much? Plastic Ono Band did some crazy experimental stuff.

>>75042644
that Yoko post is ironic pasta

>>75042644
Because autistic shut-ins believe she singlehandedly destroyed the Beatles (protip: they were coming unglued regardless).

>>75042244
Ok, so in that case you don't get away with giving As to Springsteen albums for doing the same exact damn thing. Oh wait, Springsteen was a critical darling and you were required to like him.

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I think I've mentioned this before but this was his Best Of albums list from the year of my birth. Aside from Daydream Nation, there's not anything remotely good on here and do we really need ten different apartheid protest records?

>>75042842
What was he supposed to do? Most of the mainstream stuff out in 88 was hair metal bullshit like Winger.

>>75042727
In what way is Springsteen overwrought and nihilistic? More like shrewdly composed and spiritually uplifting. Not even mentioning that Springsteen actually makes songs and albums of substance. metal is a shallow, flashy genre almost completely devoid of substance

>>75042842
Daydream Nation starts to sound more pop punk and moves away from the noise rock of their previous releases.

>>75042592
What weight does a blockhead with a soapbox hold over a blockhead with only his voice?

>hurrr let me rip off dylan
>now let me rip off funk rock, oh and i have a new york accent now
>now let me rip off heartland rock, oh i have a midwestern accent now
>now let me rip off hard rock, oh i have a mid atlantic accent now
>now let me rip off a variety of different pop rock styles and varispeed my voice up to make it sound younger and more accessible
>now let me rip off folk and country and the band Suicide and write songs about rural people living hard lives just like me even though i have millions in the bank
>now let me rip off tom petty and synthpop, oh i have a southern accent now
>now let me write shitty adult contemporary synthpop and soft rock ballads
>now let me do the same thing again, oh i have a california accent now
>mix and match all of the above for the rest of his career
>oh i have an irish accent on this song for some reason
>let me write an album about 9/11 so i be relevant again and make $$$$$
>let me write an album about the 2008 financial crisis so i be relevant again and make $$$$$
Springsteen's discography in a nutshell. What a hack.

>>75042842
your post implies you've heard most/all of that list and I guarantee the only album you recognize is Daydream Nation. You're literally just upset that you're not patrician enough to understand his list. And not enough apartheid protest records imo but 10 is a pretty good start

>>75042983
As someone from New Jersey, it's pretty easy to hate how fanatical people can get about him.

As a white loser from Jersey, I can relate to his earlier music too much to hate it. My successful friends generally don't like him.

>>75042983
this just proves he's a genre and accent virtuoso. no one else could do what he did

>>75042961
>And not enough apartheid protest records imo but 10 is a pretty good start

Are you _trying_ to summon /pol/ here?

I got laid off from my job on the assembly line in New Jersey and my old man got laid off after 30 years and...me and my girlfriend are loser poorfags (but at least we have each other) and...fucking government lied to me about Vietnam.

There. I gave you every Springsteen song ever.

>>75043043
no need to summon, they've already co-opted /mu/

>>75042842
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1988_in_music

Here. Pick some better albums for us if you're so smart.

>>75043144
Those Wikipedia lists only have major label releases so they're of questionable value.

>>75043144
Pixies: Surfer Rosa (4AD)
Sonic Youth: Daydream Nation (Blast First)
Red Temple Spirits: Dancing To Restore An Eclipsed Moon (Nate Starkman & Son)
Ministry: The Land Of Rape And Honey (Sire)
Foetus: Thaw (Some Bizarre)
Peter Frohmader: Through Time And Mistery (GEMA)
My Bloody Valentine: Isn't Anything (Creation)
Mary Margaret O'Hara: Miss America (Virgin)
Missing Foundation: 1933 (Purge)
American Music Club: California (Grifter)
Talk Talk: Spirit Of Eden (EMI)
King Snake Roost: Things That Play Themselves (Aberrant)
Djam Karet: Reflections From The Firepool (HC Productions)

Nick Cave: Tender Prey (Mute)
Band Of Susans: Hope Against Hope (Furthur)
Godflesh: Godflesh (Silverfish)
Rollins Band: Life Time (Texas Hotel)
Zoogz Rift: Nonentity (SST)
Rudimentary Peni: Cacophony (Outer Himalayan)
In The Nursery: Koda (Wax Trax)
Unrest: Malcom X Park (Caroline)
Death Of Samantha: Where The Women Wear The Glory (Homestead)
Enya: Watermark (Geffen)
Jane's Addiction: Nothing's Shocking (Warner Bros)
Pain Teens: self-titled (Anomie)
Bongwater: Double Bummer (Shimmy-Disc)
Lubricated Goat: Paddock Of Love (Black Eye)
Crime And The City Solution: Shine (Mute)
Royal Trux: self-titled (Royal LP)
Public Enemy: It Takes A Nation Of Millions to Hold Us Back (Def Jam)
Cocteau Twins: Blue Bell Knoll (4AD)
Dead Can Dance: The Serpent's Egg (4AD)
Die Kreuzen: Century Days (Touch & Go)
Spacemen 3: Playing With Fire (Fire)
Metallica: And Justice For All (Elektra)
Soundgarden: Ultramega OK (SST)
Lard: The Power Of Lard (Alternative Tentacles)
Chuck Vrtacek: When Heaven Comes To Town (Recommended)
The Scene Is Now: Tonight We Ride (Lost)
Mofungo: Bugged (SST)

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>>75043144
Ya fag

>>75043197
Alright, that's an ok list and definitely better than 20 different black militancy records.

>>75043197
No So Far, So Good, So What or Rattle & Hum?

>>75044174
Because those are the weakest Megadeth and U2 records from the bands' prime.

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>>75043197
Don't forget.

>>75044279
fuck you, buttrocker

>>75044279
That's one of those guilty pleasure albums. Everyone claims to hate bands like Winger and Warrant but they secretly put on Seventeen when nobody's looking.

>>75035644
Imagine the smell...

>>75043063
/thread

>>75044464
He looks like he'd smell of macaroni and stale pit sweat.

>>75042842
You fucking pleb

Desertshore [Reprise, 1970]

The Velvet Underground and Nico plus Chelsea Girl convinced me that Nico had charisma; The Marble Index plus Desertshore convince me that she's a fool. The difference is that now Nico writes the songs--songs with titles like "The Falconer" and "Abschied," songs that indulge her doleful monotone instead of playing rhythms and tempos against it. Nothing new here--bohemian hangers-on always get to publish their work while the less socially adept ("charismatic") are shafted. John Cale, with his "spare" arrangements, plays patron. C

The End [Island, 1974]

I don't know vy she's moaning about unved virgins and vether to betray her hate, and I don't vant to know. The Manzanera-Eno-Cale settings, which I believe is what one calls this sort of elevated sound effect, are suitably morbid and exotic. But funereal irony aside, her parlay of the Doors' "The End" and the Fuehrer's "Das Lied Der Deutschens" contextualizes both tunes more pejoratively than is intended. Nico is what happens when the bloodless wager their minds on the wisdom of the blood and the suicidal make something of their lives. If this be romanticism, give me Matthew Arnold--and gimme shelter. C

>>75044568

>>75043197
This guy's '88 list is better.

>>75044590
I tried, but those Nico albums made absolutely no sense to me.

>>75044698
Well, you have to sit in a cafe while wearing wool...

...And Justice For All [Elektra, 1988]

Problem isn't that it's more self-aware than Puppets, which is inevitable when your stock-in-trade is compositions rather than songs. Problem is that it's also longer than Puppets, which is inevitable when your stock-in-trade is compositions rather than songs. Just ask Yes. C+

>doesn't actually review the album, just writes a paragraph complaining that the songs are too long

>>75042959
Neato, it's that guy who works as a Springsteen roadie and always shills him relentlessly.

>>75038291
>he doesn't rate Àgaetís Byrjun
I pity those who aren't taken to another world when listening to that album

The Singles 1969-1973 [A&M, 1973]

The combination of Karen Carpenter's ductile, dispassionate contralto and Richard Carpenter's meticulous studio technique is admittedly more musical than the clatter of voices and silverware in a cafeteria, but it's just as impervious to criticism. That is, the duo's success is essentially statistical: I'll tell you that I very much like "We've Only Just Begun" and detest "Sing," but those aren't so much aesthetic judgments as points on a graph. C+

>>75045096
Ugghh, my dad said back then they played and played and played and played the Carpenters to death on the radio.

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>>75045096
I bet you the Velvet Underground wouldn't have been invited to the White House.

>>75045183
No but the Carpenters made 100x as much money as VU.

>>75045283
Yes, we all know that success=quality music.

>>75045183
Half of their songs were written by David & Bacharach, two of the worst purveyors of MOR schmaltz in the 60s-70s.

>>75045320
it's the american way

>>75045183
>>75045130
I give it, "Close To You" is one of the great schlock songs of all time.

>>75043197
Daydream and It Takes a Nation are already on Christgau's list fool. And the only other truly great albums you listed are Isn't Anything, Surfer Rosa, and maybe Shine. lots of crappy shit on this list.

>>75045561
>lots of crappy shit on this list.
Would you have preferred he put hair metal albums on there instead?

>>75045577
I'd prefer he put 10+ apartheid protest albums on instead tb completely h

>>75038291
Hilarious funny shitpost

>>75045623
At least the hair metal albums would actually be fun to listen to.

The Beach Boys [Caribou, 1985]

What would you say if The Four Lads got back together and covered Boy George and Stevie Wonder on the same album? Betcha they still harmonize pretty good too. C+

>>75045746
No they would Not. literally all sound the same and the musical equivalent of water. You only need to hear, at most, one hair metal album in your life. There can never be enough apartheid protest albums, and you can't prove me wrong here

>>75046091
>There can never be enough apartheid protest albums, and you can't prove me wrong here
I could but that would bring /pol/ into this board.

>>75043033
Poorly copying other people's sounds doesn't=virtuosity.

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>>75046110
let them come

>>75046091
South-Africa was better off under Apartheid.

>>75044820
The songs are too long

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>>75046455

>>75035644
Fantano is a YouTube meme hack along the lines of pewdiepie pretending to be a music reviewer.

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>>75035644
>being this mad over a critic

>>75046896
Yes and if Christgau were born in 1982 instead of 1942, he'd just be a Youtube meme hack like Pewdiepie as well. Your point?

what the fuck is this bullshit?

>>75036250

yes believe it or not people who go to top colleges tend to be smart

>>75037007
>never says anything about the overall structure
he does

also, he can't be a hack if he doesn't consider himself a critique