how do we get this faggot erased from wikipedia? every fucking

>>74793220
We must circumcise his entire family
that would be eternal suffering

>>74793249
He has an adopted daughter, but no sons so that won't work unfortunately.

that's not true. It's AllMusic that's fucking EVERYWHERE and also cited as a source for personnel/track listing etc

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>>74793220
>article on an album
>somewhere between one, two, and twenty reviews
>almost every single one has Christgau on it if he reviewed it
>he gave it two scissors, a plus sign, and a bomb
>everyone else rated it on a comprehensive star system or with numbers/numbers

Fuck this meme shitheel and his hack opinions.

who the fuck decided its ok to put parasitic critics worthless opinions on every single fucking wiki article of some musician or band?

have their worthless cumbag reviews on their own wiki if you must

take all that shit down off wiki

kikes

>>74793451
remember when allmusic.com used to be good

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>tfw Christgau is the only serious, consistent music critic with a trustworthy track record who routinely cuts through the bullshit and hype to get at the crux of a record's quality
>tfw /mu/ gets its shitty taste from Pitchfuck and bAllsmusic

Patrician taste always aligns with Christgau, whereas pleb taste (the majority of /mu/) aligns with Pitchfork/Fantano/Allmusic/RYM. And, of course, the plebs have to throw a pissy fit whenever they read a mean Christgau review where he efficiently shit on their favorite BNM album

>>74793969
He's ok if you like punk and Afropop, useless for anything else.

On Avery Island [Merge, 1996] :(

In The Aeroplane Over The Sea [Merge, 1998] :(

Frampton Comes Alive! [Atlantic, 1976]

Alright, Peter, you win. I'll review your stupid album--it's only been in the top 20 all year. Now will you please go away? C-

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>>74794057
punk and Afropop are my two favorite genres..

And I bought Blur - 13 at the recommendation of literally every other review site (Pitchfork 9.1/10), and it sucked massive asshole. And what do I later find out? Christgau had warned me, and I'd ignored him. For the last time, to be sure.

> 13 [Virgin, 1999]
Halfway there, it sits down in the middle of the road and won't budge ("Tender," "B.L.U.R.E.M.I."). ***

Really all that needs to be said about the album. A fair shake, he gave props to a couple of less-shitty songs. A grade of *** is infinitely more correct than Pitchfork's "9.1/10, amazing experimental Britpop" review.

It would be a fun game to see /mu/ try to find examples where Christgau has been wrong. They'd be surprised how rare it actually is, and maybe learn a thing or two about their shit taste.

>>74794475
>It would be a fun game to see /mu/ try to find examples where Christgau has been wrong

>>74794172
Right here.

>>74794533
>A "Neither" rating (the sad face thing) indicates an album that may impress the listener with consistent craft or an arresting track or two. And then it won't.

>>74793969
Say whatever thing you want about Christgau, but him being consistent is objectively wrong

>>74794533
Nobody actually likes NMH, they're a meme band.

Pieces of You [Atlantic, 1995]

Worth ignoring while she was merely precious, she must command our brief attention now that she's becoming overvalued as well. With the possible exception of Saint Joanie, who at least has stature, this is the bad folkie joke to end all bad folkie jokes. Between her breathless baby doll sexuality, abiding love of her own voice, and useless ideas about injustice and prejudice, she may well prove to be the most insufferable hollow body guitarist yet to crave the world's attention. End of story. I hope. C-

i hope one day i can become lucky enough to be deemed a "music critic" by writing a dumb two sentence joke and attaching a clip art pair of scissors next to it

>>74794533
Neutral Milk Hotel makes albums that might impress the listener with consistent craft or an arresting track or two... but then it won't.

Christgau was dead-on, and years ahead of his time--and again, cutting through the hype and bullshit. /mu/ is just now getting over this memecore. Imagine all the great albums we missed while everyone was collectively distracted by the fleeting consistent craft of ITAOTS. We should've heeded Christgau's wisdom, but we're fools.

>>74794675
This is correct though, Jewel sucks mightily. Anyone who makes a song called "I'm Sensitive" deserves to have their teeth rearranged.

This is the man who gave As to Yoko Ono records when every last one of them deserved a D or a bomb.

Superstar Car Wash [Metal Blade, 1993] :(

A Boy Named Goo [Metal Blade, 1995] :(

Dizzy Up the Girl [Warner Bros., 1998] *bomb*

>>74794857
I used to like DUTG back then, but it's aged like old milk and is completely unlistenable now.

>>74794818
>plebs actually believe this

>>74794857
>>74794675
>>74794467
>>74794172
All 100% accurate. Christgau haters btfo

>>74794857
Christgau is a huge Replacements fan, so I can't imagine he was impressed with these mediocre imitators.

>>74794818
Wait, why does /mu/ hate Yoko Ono again?

Wisconsin Death Trip [Warner Bros., 1999]

horrorshow in stereo--they mean it, man ("Wisconsin Death Trip", "I'm With Stupid") *

>>74794467
My dad hates this album because his college roommate played it over and over and over and over and over and...

how'd that work out for ya dummy

Frampton Comes Alive was shit though. How did it ever get so big?

>Wow, I can make my guitar "talk" so kewl XD

>>74795054
It was generic buttrock with a cool gimmick (ie. his talking guitar). No one ever went broke appealing to the lowest common denominator.

>>74794913
Retards fell for memes about her destroying the Beatles (protip: it was inevitable anyway)

GIVING FUCKING SOULJA BOY AN A. AN AAAAAAA!!!!!

Cat Scratch Fever [Epic, 1977]

Nugent may have turned into a living cartoon, but better cartoon carnivores than cartoon vegans, and better the Kiss imitation of today than the Robin Trower of yesteryear. Ted's no more sexist than Kiss, plus he sings better. Ten fast, simple, stupid songs for guitar and shoutalong, three or four of which should keep anyone under 25 awake on the interstate for three minutes. B

>>74794755
I don't remember /mu/ ever liking Jewel.

>>74794883
When I was literally 11, that album was ok.

>>74795282
/mu/ did until /pol/ came along and doxxed every (((Jew)))el fan, so they had to evacuate the board

>>74793880
allmusic was never good.

Dennehy (Lights, Camera, Action!) [Audio 8, 2008]
In which a prolific, unknown Chicago rapper plays every part but one on a loosely chronological song cycle about a naive young rapper named Scotty, who laps over into Serengeti himself, and a much older white working-class sports fan named Kenny Dennis, whose passion for Brian Dennehy provides the album its title and his signature track its chorus: "Favorite actor Dennehy, favorite drink O'Doul's/Bears, Hawks, Sox, Bulls." (Given Kenny's accent, this rhymes perfect.) Over soul loops for Kenny and basement beats for Scotty, both rhyme about their day to day enthusiasms and travails. It's funny, not satirical--Serengeti loves these characters. And like Kenny, he also loves Kenny's wife Jueles, whose occasional background yakking is rendered by Serengeti's friend Larissa Poluchowicz with what sounds to me like a Polish-American accent, though internal evidence indicates Jueles is of Mexican descent. Maybe she's both--since Serengeti is a "noticeably Negro" man born David Cohn, that would compute fine. And in case you're wondering, "noticeably Negro" is Serengeti's phrase--the title of a 2006 album worth seeking out. There are others. A+

Noticeably Negro [Audio 8, 2006]
In which Chicago alt-rapper David Cohn, a red diaper baby on his African side, explores the conundrums of race and the hidden injuries of class. His woozy flow gathers a musicality that combines Biz Markie and Posdnuous--half wigged-out clown, half unassuming postcollegiate, neither of which Serengeti is or pretends to be. This kind of confusion is intrinsic to how he conceives hip-hop. A song called "Negro Whimsy" is speckled with gunshots; a song called "T.R.I.U.M.P.H." celebrates cabernet and Lucille's rack of lamb. Occasionally, he stumbles into the gentility he parodies. More often he blurs goofy and brilliant so organically that he's both at once. A-

>>74794710
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

>>74795328
Christgau is the only good critic simply because he's the only one giving Serengeti the respect he deserves. If Pitchfork had given Dennehy a 9.43/10 BNM ten years ago you bet your ass it would be /mu/core by now

American Idiot [Reprise, 2004]

For those of you laboring over what this concept album means, there's no need to refer to the lyric book, just look at the cover art--a clenched fist holding a grenade shaped like a bleeding heart. This is a visual culture we live in and Billie Joe is saying that the bleeding heart will explode unless he heaves it, only it won't because he doesn't have the heart to pull the pin. The emotional travails of two clueless punks--one passive, one aggressive--both representations of the auteur, serve as stand-ins for the sociopolitical content the vague references to Bush, Schwarzenegger, and war (no war in particular, just war) are thought to imply. There's no economics, no politics, no race, hardly any compassion. And then, to give his maunderings rock grandeur, he ties them together with devices that sank under their own weight back when the Who invented them. Sole rhetorical coup--makes being called a faggot something to aspire to, which in this terrible time it is. C+

Family & Friends [Anticon, 2011]
Where other rappers claim mere personas are "characters" (sometimes inhabiting more than one on the very same album!), Serengeti writes playlets with something like dramatis personae--not just a few slightly confused rappers, although he has several of those, but white working-class superfan Kenny, black garbage man Lee, hip-hop dilettante Derek. Over beats supplied by Yoni of Anticon rap-rockers Why?, who must envy his lyrics, and Advance Base, formerly known as Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, he raps as or about 11 different losers possibly including himself on 11 songs that last barely half an hour. These include a son shooting up with his formerly absentee dad, a bigamist who couldn't resist that 17-year-old, a privileged jerk who lost his job and started a blog, and an ultimate fighter who blows his knee out. Sure the tone is often depressive or satirical. But it's also often kind, pained, silly, unhinged, and other things. On Noticeably Negro, Serengeti asked: "Serengeti's very ill very understated/Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?" The answer is that the world is complicated and he damn well knows it. A-

>>74795054
He wasn't even the first guy to do the talking guitar.

>>74794913
Have you tried listening to POB? Cover your ears.

>>74795373
BTW, Christgau thinks The Who peaked on TWSO and sold out by becoming overwrought stadium rock.

>>74794533
>some hippie with a banjo singing about Jesus
>good

The Concept [Cotillion, 1978]

Pioneering funk groups like P-Funk and the Commodores, manned by veteran musicians, stayed largely within the realm of traditional black music styles. The younger ones however more closely resemble third-generation rock groups. Unless you prefer Kansas to the O'Jays, this is not a compliment--lyrics such as "What is now will be forever" may as well grace the back of a Starcastle album. This is very much a Starcastle kind of band too, right down to the general derivativeness and pretensions to content. But that doesn't make Starcastle music. Still, if interesting sounds, textures, and shapes are your taste, then black is still beautiful. B-

If Christgau were born 20 years later he would be a nobody with a RYM account. Instead he got very, very lucky because people had more of a need for dedicated critics in the bad old days before the internet, and some dumb executive at a print publication decided that he should get his stuff published.

>>74795619
He had the luck to start back when rock journalism was a brand new concept.

Greatest Hits [Priority, 2002]

He's smart and he's talented. What he hasn't always been is honest, so it's my displeasure to note that this garbage scow lists alarmingly when it reaches his 1998 and 2000 albums (titled "The War Disc" and "The Peace Disc", respectively, for how hard it is to get through them). Myself, I'm so glad to be able to access his best beats and rhymes without once having to hear him incite a race riot or forcing a Catholic schoolgirl to lick his testicles. B

>>74795596
I think what he's referencing here are those prog bands who claim to have some super-deep, cosmic message in their lyrics, but a closer inspection reveals that they're full of hot air and nobody over 14 would be impressed by them.

>>74795726
You have to be 14 and also stoned.

>>74795649
Yeah and now we realize thru P4K, Fantano, and Scruffy's internet publications that """rock journalism""" was a bugaboo name for paper blogs.

We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions [Columbia, 2006]

We shall overkill, he means. Never have his Howard Keel tendencies, or maybe now they're Paul Robeson tendencies, tripped him up so bad. The idea is to big up the music and play the jokes you don't ignore like you're working a Roman amphitheater. I'm glad to have met the anti-war lament "Mrs. McGrath" and Sis Cunningham's "My Oklahoma Home," and sort of hope young people deprived of music appreciation funding will now hear "Erie Canal," "Froggie Went A-Courtin'," "John Henry," and "Jesse James." Only are young people really ignorant of these songs? And how many of them buy Springsteen albums anyway? Amping up his strange bluegrass-Dixieland hybrid like E Street is just around the corner, he sings his lungs out. But in folk music, lightness is all--and only newbies and John Hammond Jr. lean so hard on the cornpone drawl. B

>>74795619
this.

>>74795807
Yeah IDK either what Springsteen was thinking or why he thought singing folk songs like Bruce Dickinson was a good idea.

>>74795726
Lyrics aren't usually the point of prog, and most bands with really word salady lyrics will admit it. See Jon Anderson or Cedric Bixler-Zavala saying that they mostly choose lyrics based on how they sound when sung, not what they mean.

>>74795770
>>74795649
>he had the luck

You mean he pioneered music journalism and the industry has been tainted by Christgau-wannabes like every P4K writer or Fantano who doesn't have Robert's talented ear or wordsmithery

Street-Hassle [Arista, 1978]

I know Lou worked his ass off on this one, but he worked his ass off on Berlin too--like so many of his contemporaries, maybe he should stop aiming for masterpieces. I eventually got myself to enjoy "I Wanna Be Black", which treats racism as a stupid joke and gets away with it. But the production is muddled and the self-consciousness self-serving. B-

>>74795869
Critics tend to have a hard time dealing with metal and prog because they rely on sounds rather than words to get the message of the song across. Problem is, it's hard to describe sounds so they're left with nothing except the lyrics.

>>74795899
Lester Bangs was better as a writer and in terms of his musical taste, too bad he shuffled off this mortal coil so early.

>>74795924
Doesn't make Christgau less of a pioneer. They have pretty similar taste too

At This Time [Columbia, 2005]

When I ask myself which of the many horrible things about this adoringly promoted "political" record is the very worst, I'm tempted to go for broke and say the arrangements. For in truth, it is difficult to imagine circumstances under which the pop paragon's latest instrumental divertissements would signify. Chris Botti provides a few high points on trumpet--that's right, Chris Botti, high points, canceled out and then some by the anonymous saxophone soloist, who sounds to my unschooled ears like a moonlighting Kenny G. Then there are the weak yet obtrusive beats hired out to such humanitarians as Kon Artis and Dr. Dre. Rufus Wainwright doesn't really believe "Love's the answer like I said before/It's the one thing needed maybe now even more," Elvis Costello maintains a suspicious distance from "Who Are These People?" before belting it with equally suspicious enthusiasm, and both outsing--by a lot--John Pagano (?), Josie James (?), and Donna Taylor (?), who in turn outsing--by a whole lot--chief vocalist Bacharach. Who are these people? C-

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Audioslave [Interscope, 2002] *bomb*

Out of Exile [Interscope, 2005] *bomb*

>>74796081
>>74794857
these are accurate, dumb buttrockers

>>74795967
>They have pretty similar taste too
Not when it came to Blondie though. Damn, Lester Bangs ripped them a new one and added in a bunch of sexist insults at Debbie Harry.

>>74796117
OP here, fuck you kid. Christgau sucks I hate him FUCK Him that fucking ass jole he really thinks he can get away with this shit he has another thing COMING becaus you know wat? he wont. he wont keep shitting on the great art that artists put so much time and work into while that fucking asshat dildofucker just slaps some little picture of a bomb or a scissor on a album that took a lot of effort on it. like really? what a fucking joke, and tools actually listen to him like do you know how many people will skip audioslave's entire career just becaus this shithead didn't understand their art, this is really why music sucks nowdays and if i ever see robert fucking christgo im gonna dickslap his throat so hard he windpipe crushed and he sufficates and dies like the fucking WORM hes is

>>74796179
LOL Audioslave is shit, dude. It was just a bunch of veteran musicians who'd made all their money dicking around in a studio to pass the time.

>>74796136
so basically Christgau is better

No Secrets [Elektra, 1972]

If a horse could sing in a monotone, it would sound like Carly Simon, only the horse wouldn't rhyme "yacht" with "apricot" and "gavotte". Why do Mick Jagger and James Taylor want her? Come to think of it, why does she want either of them? C-

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Tonight The Stars Revolt [DreamWorks, 1999] *bomb*

>>74796268
Oh you mean that plebian, babby version of Static X?

Dirt [Columbia, 1992]

Crunch, crunch, crunch. Riff, riff, riff. Way harder, louder, and more metallic than Soundgarden will ever be. The price of all this power is that it's also stupider, the sound of hopeless craving. This is a heroin album--take it or leave it--"Junkhead" isn't ironic and probably isn't fictional either. As I sit here looking at my books and degrees (well, degree), I somehow doubt that I'd be doing as "well" as resident sickman Layne Staley if I "opened" my mind as he, or I mean the narrator of the song, suggests. I'll wait for my own man, thank you very much. B-

You Light Up My Life [Warner Bros., 1977]

Who cares if the single sold seven million? Trendsetters don't buy singles, y'know what I mean? Smart people like you and me don't buy singles. But now I hear the _album_ has gone platinum? D-

>>74796635
tbf Christgau hates Pat Boone and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

>>74795373
>makes being called a faggot something to aspire to, which in this terrible time it is.
the absolute madman

Ram [Apple, 1971]

"Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey" is a major annoyance. I tolerated McCartney's crotchets with the Beatles because his mates balanced them out; I enjoyed them mildly on McCartney because their scale was so modest; I enjoy them actively on "Monkberry Moon Delight" because it rocks and on "Smile Away" because it's vulgar and funny. But though nothing else here approaches the willful rhythm shifts and above-it-all silliness of the single, most of the songs are so lightweight they float away even as Paulie layers them down with caprices. If you're going to be eccentric, for goodness sake don't be pretentious about it. C+

kill you're self

>>74796729
Everyone knows the Beatles only worked as a unit. Paul's goofy songs balanced with John's edginess and sarcasm, but apart...

I've given solo Paul a try, his songwriting really doesn't appeal to me.

>>74796220
lyl Carly Simon absolutely sucks, especially on Boys in the Trees by which point she was a married woman in her 30s with two kids but somehow decided to appeal to teenyboppers and pretend she was 17.

Street-Legal [Columbia, 1978]

Professional rock scribes invariably learn to find joy in boastful, girl-shy adolescents. Boozy-voiced misogynists in their late thirties however are a straight-up drag. This divorcee sounds too overripe, too in love with his own self-generated misery to break free of the leaden tempos that oppress his melodies. Because he's too shrewd to put his heart into genuine corn, and because his idea of a tricky arrangement is adding a couple of horns or singing girls to a basic I-IV-V chord progression, a joke is what it is. But because he still commands remnants of authority, the joke remains sour indeed. C+

>>74796863
Bottom five Dylan album.

>ah bloo bloo women suck so much woe is me

Literally "/r9k/ - The Album".

>>74796899
Nah, he's actually been married and had sex which puts him above anyone on /r9k/.

>>74796677
aside from pioneering the music journalism industry (and being an early champion of new genres like jazz, hip-hop, punk, etc.), he also pioneered LGBTQ+ rights

Hot [Mammoth, 1996]

These guys don't just love old jazz, they love old jazz records and true to the original, they've recorded everything live with a single mike. Problem is, they have neither the history nor the chops to pull it off--striving for the life they hear on those old records, they never manage anything more than a very clumsy imitation, which is why Katharine Whalen thinks the way to channel Betty Hutton (and Betty Boop) is to sing while scrunching up your tonsils. And if that throwaway calypso hit was by any chance purloined, the teeth that deserve to be extruded are their own. C-

>>74796964
>aside from pioneering the music journalism industry (and being an early champion of new genres like jazz
I'm pretty sure jazz had half a century of history behind it when he started writing.
>he also pioneered LGBTQ+ rights
Shouldn't have put Judas Priest in his shitbucket list with one hit wonders and insulted them a bunch of times (albeit indirectly).

>>74793493
he's probably down to one single letter for everything at this point, it either gets an A or doesn't get reviewed. I also mostly see 2 sentence blurbs about an album. This guy really knows how to professionally fuckin phone it in and rake in the money

>>74797016
>There are still jazz fans in England who believe it isn't jazz unless it sounds as if it were recorded on Vocalion in 1926. There are still lots of jazz fans--one of them used to write me intemperate letters--who believe jazz ended with the big bands. Some of these (my correspondent included) are critics, and if you peruse the jazz journals you can find them still, gushing over the latest Woody Herman record and fulminating against bebop; BS&T tries but Ornette Coleman is a poseur and Bird lives only to torment the faithful. There is no reason why a similar myopia shouldn't overtake rock and roll, although rock and roll does seem to hang in there as a popular music. Even now, however, there are cliques that support various rock and roll's historical periods (rhythm and blues, mid-'60s punk) and put out mimeographed journals like a bunch of Trotskyites. We professional critics, of course, put on our shows of eclectic enthusiasm, but sometimes I suspect we're not much better. We'll be saying nice things about the spirit of rock and roll when the spirit of rock and roll belongs in an airplane hanger at the Smithsonian Institute.

>>74797033
He's done 2 sentence blurbs since forever. Way better than reading a 10-page Pitchfork writer "review" that just talks about themself and gives some random, specific score like 5.74 which means jackshit since there are 50 different writers so their scores have no consistency

>>74797066
this is pretty woke af

>>74797092
That was written in 1971. Rock was less than 20 years old at the time but already had its nostalgiafags and luddites.

Celebrate! [De-Lite, 1981]

It says something for these pioneering funksters that unlike James Brown and George Clinton, they've adapted painlessly, nay, profitably, to disco. All of which goes to show that their funk was as bland as you suspected. Even the platinum-plated single isn't disco as transformed by funksters, it's disco as transformed by marketers, which means disco without a cult, and therefore disco without an audience. C+

Emergency [De-Lite, 1984]

If in 1973, someone had told me that a ghettoized funk group would be the top-selling R&B act of the '80s, my head would have swelled until someone interjected that the '70s group with the most #1 hits was the Osmonds. If you had also told me that the secret to their success would be a bland black singer named James Taylor, I would have observed that he couldn't possibly be any worse than our white one. In both of these, I would be wrong. C+

Subjects For Further Research [1970s]: Amelodic hitmakers, jazzbos who couldn't improvise, these primal funksters were too funking primal for me in the early '70s, their artistic heyday. Looking back at their various best-ofs, I can see now that it was arcane rhythms and silly novelty hooks that got them onto (black) radio. But the dance floor is obviously the best place to figure such music out, and I doubt I'll make sense of it unless a DJ sweeps me off my feet.

>>74797003
Squirrel Nut Zipper are a fucking insult to all real jazz fans.

Debut [Elektra, 1993] :(

Post [Elektra, 1995]

This well-regarded little item rekindles my primeval suspicion of Europeans who presume to "improve" on rock and roll (or for that matter Betty Hutton, originator of the best song here). I don't miss the Sugarcubes' guitars per se so much as their commitment to the groove, which--sporadic though it would remain, Iceland not being one of your blues hotbeds--might shore up the limited but real intrinsic interest of her eccentric instrumentation, electronic timbres, etc. Then there's her, how shall I say it, self-involved vocal devices. Which brings us to, right, her lyrics, which might hit home harder if she'd grown up speaking the English she'll die singing, but probably wouldn't. Anybody out there remember Dagmar Krause? German, Henry Cow, into artsong and proud of it? Well, take my word for it. She was no great shakes either. But at least she had politics. C+

>>74797311
Yah I don't really like Post that much and it's aged like dirt. That Betty Hutton cover was just a cheesy attempt to jump on the 90s swing revival fad.

Homogenic [Elektra, 1997]
she organizes freedom--how Scandinavian of her ("Joga," "Bachelorette") **

Vespertine [Elektra, 2001]
I liked this a lot better once I heard how it was entirely about sex, which since it often buries its pulse took a while. Sex, not fucking. I'm nervous so you'd better pet me awhile sex. Lick the backs of my knees sex. OK, where my buttcheeks join my thighs sex. I'm still a little jumpy so you'd better pet me some more sex. How many different ways can we open our mouths together sex. We came 20 minutes ago and have Sunday morning ahead of us sex. Or, if fucking, tantric--the one where you don't move and let vaginal peristalsis do the work (yeah sure). The atmospherics, glitch techno, harps, glockenspiels, and shades of Hilmar Om Hilmarsson float free sometimes, and when she gets all soprano on your ass you could accuse her of spirituality. But with somebody this freaky you could get used to that. English lyrics provided, most of them dirty if you want. A-

ITT: Autists upset that Christgau dismantled their favorite buttrock, buttjazz, and buttindie albums

The Lonesome Crowded West [Up, 1997]
With unadorned melody suddenly fashionable among superannuated indie-rockers who have seen the limits of both irony and techno, I still prefer my tunelets noised up. And until these become the exclusive province of undistinguisheds and indistinguishables like, oh, Versus or Polvo, I'll crow about every exception. Skirting the professional class they were born to for a poverty that's real if voluntary, these three youngsters are probably wise-asses, probably thieves. But their songs never quit even when they're divided into the kind of stylistic segments that usually irritate the hell out of me. Although their glimpses of a cockroach world living on its own discards may seem jejune to some and homely to others, the lyrics are observed, informed, and explicit enough--in fact, as brave and beautiful as the blues, albeit at a more rarefied level of cultural specificity. A-

Building Nothing Out of Something [Up, 2000]
Having once left Tramps deeming them utter wankers after five songs--maybe four, wandered so much I couldn't tell--I harbored few hopes for this catchall of singles, one-offs, and out-of-print EP. But if Pavement has truly checked out, these Washington State youngsters can carry the noize-toon torch. Although "Sleepwalkin'" is kinda sexy, we understand why Up never released that "Never Ending Math Equation" video. As noize-toon, however, they're irreproachable--dissonant, vulnerable, geeky, and, crucially, sweet where so many other dissonantly vulnerable geeks arm themselves with sarcasm. Maybe that's how they got signed to Epic just when all their club buddies were refurbishing their computer skills. A-

Slowhand [RSO, 1977]

As MOR singles go, "Lay Down Sally" is as good as it gets. But Clapton leaves all the juiciest solos to George Terry, and while a few years ago he seemed to be turning into a singer in the mould of Pete Townshend, now he sounds like he's blown his voice. Doing what, I wonder. B-

Backless [RSO, 1979]

Whatever else he isn't anymore--secret humanitarian, guitar genius, God--Clapton remains king of the Tulsa sound and here he contributes three new sleepytime classics. All are listed on the front sticker and none were written by Bob Dylan. One more and this would be creditable. B-

Just One Night [RSO, 1980]

Who needs another live double? A master guitarist whose studio albums have been accused by Sominex of unfair trade practices, that's who. All your AM (and FM) favorites served up hot, cold, or both. A-

Let's Dance [EMI America, 1983]

Anyone who wants Dave's $17 million fling to flop doesn't understand how little good motives have to do with good rock and roll. Rodgers & Bowie are a rich combo in the ways that count as well as the ways that don't, and this stays up throughout, though it's perfunctory professional surface does make one wonder whether Bowie-the-thespian really cares much about pop music these days. "Modern Love" is the only interesting new song, the remakes are pleasantly pointless, and rarely has such a lithe rhythm player been harnessed to such a flat groove. Which don't mean the world won't dance to it. B

In 3-D [Rock 'n' Roll, 1984]

I don't want to belabor the obvious (that's Al's job), but this is Mad for the ears. Still, Mad does hit dead on now and then, and with a lot of help from its target so does "Eat It." Palatable follow-ups: the free-swinging "Polkas on 45," which goes Joe Piscopo ten better, and "Mr. Popeil," which exploits Yankovic's otherwise fatal resemblance to Fred Schneider. C+

Stop posting these reviews old man. No one cares or takes you seriously.

>>74797608
>insulting Weird Al
He's gone too far this time.

He gave Welcome To Sky Valley a bomb, that's enough for me to not give a shit about anything he says

>>74797731
you don't like honesty?

A Farewell To Kings [Mercury, 1977]

The most obnoxious band currently making a killing on the zonked teen circuit--not to be confused with Mahogany Rush who at least spare us the reactionary gentility. Imagine a power trio Kansas or Uriah Heep with the vocals cranked up an octave. Or two. D+

>>74793220
Is Christgau Yahtzee of music critics? I went to his site.

https://www.robertchristgau.com/get_artist.php?name=burial
So are one star is bad and five stars good or opposite?

>>74798563
A "Neither" (the sad face) rating indicates an album that may impress with consistent craft or an arresting track or two. Then it won't.

A dud rating (the bomb symbol) indicates a bad album not worth further attention. The album may be tedious, boring, or disappointing, or it may be outright offensive.

A *** rating indicates an album that will greatly impress fans of the artist in question or those who admire its sound or creative vision.

A ** rating indicates an album that will impress fans of the artist in question or those who admire its sound or creative vision.

A * rating indicates an album that will interest fans of the artist in question or those who admire its sound or creative vision.

Choice Cuts indicates an otherwise forgettable album with one standout track on it (buy the single if you must). The track may be catchy, amusing, or make for an interesting sociological statement about the artist. Some choices were inescapably personal.

ITT: nu-male faggots seething

>>74793320
You can genitally mutilate a woman. I saw a documentary about it.

>>74798603
So *** means that album or a single will greatly impress a listener, so listener takes inspiration from the artist and starts his own thing? Thank you.

The Rolling Stones: Dirty Work [Rolling Stones, 1986]
Dreaming of solo glory, Mick doesn't have much time for his band these days--just plugged into his Stones mode and spewed whatever he had to spew, adding lyrics and a few key musical ideas to tracks Ron and Keith completed before the star sullied his consciousness with them. And I say let him express himself elsewhere. For once his lyrics are impulsive and confused, two-faced by habit rather than design, the straightest reports he can offer from the top he's so lonely at, about oppressing and being oppressed rather than geopolitical contradiction. In the three that lead side two, always playing dirty is getting to him, as is his misuse of the jerks and greaseballs and fuckers and dumb-asses who clean up after him, yet for all his privilege he's another nuclear subject who's got no say over whether he rots or pops even though he'd much prefer the former. Especially together with the hard advice of "Hold Back," these are songs of conscience well-known sons of bitches can get away with. Coproducer Steve Lillywhite combines high-detail arena-rock with back-to-basics commitment and limits the melismatic affectations that have turned so much of Mick's late work in on itself. Let him have his own life and career, I don't care. What I want is the Stones as an idea that belongs to history, that's mine as much as theirs. This is it. A

>implying he isn't the GOAT reviewer

>>74798644
Not one of his better moments. He gave a bunch of As to garbage mid-80s Dylan, Neil Young, and Rolling Stones records that even their diehard fans have disowned.

>>74798644
Of course he isn't, these are just sophisticated emotional descriptors which don't address the actual album in the majority of his "reviews".

>>74797731
What does the "bomb score" even mean?

>>74798671

>>74798603

christgau GOAT for acknowledging MIA as the legend she is desu

The important question is how we get Scaruffi into wikipedia