So why do music critics have it in for metal and prog? I

Christgau hates anything remotely to do with machismo.

Metal and prog are just cheesy escapist fantasy for 13 year olds, like the musical equivalent of Saturday Morning Cartoons. They have nothing to actually say from an artistic standpoint.

>>74235092
Not all of them Scaruffi has a hard-on for nu-metal, and Anthony Fantano and the pitchfork crew likes nu-male/butt metal

>>74235166
so which ones like metal in the Priest/Maiden tradition?

>>74235196
I doubt there are critics out there that like decent trad metal that isn't gay revival melodic shit

>>74235196
None, all major music critics are nu-males.

>>74235148
t. "nigga nigga nigga nigga" iz da peak of storry tellin, we wuz mozart n sheit

>>74235092
christgau has openly said he doesnt like ANYTHING even remotely aggressive or masculine because it reminds him of the kids who bullied him in school.

>>74235262
He reminds you of some awkward sexually frustrated teenager who grew old and gray without ever actually growing up.

>>74235092
These days most music sites & publications will give classic metal/prog albums positive retrospectives, but not really cover modern releases. They aren't critically despised like in the 80's, merely confined to their own niches.

>>74235148
How is that any different from meme grips or the people that listen to power electronics so they can feel like serial killers/rapists?

>>74235245
rock is shit

Professional critics are generally hipsters who wear a lot of wool.

>>74236946
cuck

>>74235092
the answer is really quite simple - they're nu-males

anyone older than 30 that listens to metal is an embarrassment to society
prog is classical/jazz for plebs
rock/popular music is about entertainment, not pretensions

>>74237094
>classifying entire genres as undesirable or claiming by nature they serve a certain purpose

>>74235092
because they don't have asperger's syndrome

>>74237094
A 50 year old man listening to taylor swift is perfectly fine, though? Why the fuck should there be any kind of rule for what music someone should listen to at a certain age? Fuck off, cunt.

>>74235092

Does anyone actually really enjoy metal? I just thought it was a way for mentally deranged people to privately vent pent up rage, and for depressing adults to reminisce to when it was still socially acceptable.

A genre that restrained both visually and instrumentally can never be truly enjoyed like other genres. Metal is a fucking joke.

OFFICIAL AGES WHEN YOU SHOULD STOP LISTENING TO MUSIC

Metal: 13
Hip-hop: 13
Punk: 16
Pop: 15
Prog: 18

>>74237277
>>74237337
>t. assblasted greasy edgelords

>>74237411
So what is ok for an adult to listen to?

>>74235148

Literally all music is cheesy. If at any point you overhear a bunch of people making noise with vibrating strings, skins and whatever else they've called an instrument and said "oh yes, this is supremely serious and normal stuff for them to be doing" then you're a dingus. It's all just silly cool shit to entertain ourselves.

>>74235830
rock is a mineral

>>74237411
hip-hop: 14

>>74237411
Even my dad listens to hip hop, it never ages.

>>74235148
I think you'll find you can do this to literally anything if you're cynical enough. Keep trying and you'll get there, just believe in yourself.

>>74237429
>t. reddit

>>74237442
cspan and npr

>>74237442
looped audio of a slow beheading with a dull knife while repeating "i am surrounded by infants, i am surrounded by infants"

>>74235262
t. projection

>>74237442
Classical, jazz, and experimental ambient noise music.

>>74237411

"Punk" is way more embarrassing for an adult than metal.

Most adults see punk as what is really is: a fashion label sold to teens.

They see metal as more of a harmless, escapist thing these days. A 40 year old man that listens to punk is a tool and a conformist.

>>74237429
>t. person everyone should dislike
ha

>>74237811
Punk is entirely about the message/politics, not the music which is why guys like Christgay like it instead of metal. They're not rock journalists because they care about playing instruments and having a good time, they're rock journalists because they want to shill for bands that have politics they agree with.

metal is good for lifting weights

besides that i dont care much for it

>>74237966
>metal is good for lifting weights
Especially Vulgar Display of Power; best weight-lifting album ever.

This generation is so gay. Omg look at me i have a thesaurus and listen to arcade fire.

>>74237411
Official age when you should stop making posts like this: 10

>>74237811
The underground punk scene is still kinda there, and it's full of absurdity and undefined anger.
I see it like doing something weird or uncalled for when you're overtaken by a feeling of meaninglessness, like pouring hot coffee on yourself or breaking an object you know you'll regret breaking.

>>74237446
Well, not really. Rocks are made of minerals.

File: cryptic3[1].jpg (20KB, 535x301px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 535x301px

>the only critic who was worth reading

>>74235092
christfaggot has his head permanently engulfed into his own asshole

>>74238072
>This generation is so gay. Omg look at me i have a thesaurus and listen to arcade fire.

10 years ago maybe.

The kids love the meme rap now and write diatribes about how rock is dead.

Example: https://genius.com/a/why-rock-can-t-compete-with-hip-hop-in-2017

>>74238133

You're not wrong, but most adults see that scene and people doing shit like that as ADHD children that never grew up.

>>74237945

Most adult punks I know have shit politics, desu.

They don't think through anything, and they conform to set beliefs just as badly as anybody else.

They think being "punk rock" about something is enough. It's not. It makes you look like a child playing in the real world.

>>74238383
>>74238327
>>74238049
>>74237913
>>74237486
>>74237429
>>74237277

LOOK MOM I AM POSTING LE SPICY GREENTEXT MAY-MAY AGAIN! LELELEKEK!

>>74238614
what did you contribute to this thread

>>74238614
look mom i'm a massive faggot

>>74237945
That's why punk threads on /mu/ are garbage because there's no actual musicianship to discuss.

>>74237411
Drop punk down to 15 and we have a deal.

Christgau seems to have a disliking for that sluggish 70s boogie beat. There's a lot of reviews where he complains about those slow metal tempos.

>>74235092
>gave ITCOTCK a D+
>gave Red an A-
What did he mean by this?