i feel like i'm in a downward spiral of drinking and mental

>>73869055
>implying drinking doesn't aggravate mental illness

smack yourself in the mouth and then go do something that scares the shit out of you
and stop drinking faggot

>>73869108
I wish I had this mentality. Im scared of everything .

>>73869055
this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LG7lPyQI1fY

stop drinking man

>>73869055
if you're gonna exacerbate your mental illness with substances, make it a worthwhile substance like coke or acid

alcohol is obsolete.

Mac Demarco

Tame Impala

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>>73869141
that fear is there for you to transcend and subsequently grow to be a stronger person

thank god we're able to feel fear. how can you know comfort if you don't know and face discomfort?

>>73869055
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_goEernujW8

>>73869055
woahhh dude so dark and edgy xD

stop drinking you fucking moron

>>73869224
kek

>>73869214
>>73869108
Good posts

>>73869224
woahhh dude

>>73869214
>he doesn't know all life is pointless and any change we undergo is ultimately as unfulfilling as if we never changed at all
>he thinks there's some arbitrary meaning that we can derive from "becoming a stronger person" and its not an elaborately crafted delusion in order to make us feel safer and more secure in our actions
>he's afraid to confront the aggressive banality and emptiness that is to exist

You want a really good spread. Some post-slave industry blues goes down well.
Rock and roll when it was in full swing has many maudlin 'crying into a gin cocktail' moments.
Punk for when you're pumped up. Romantic classical for walking home across wet fields after waking up at the last train stop in Hamps.
If you mix your drinks then it's the full menu.

Have fun!

(Don't drink at home by yourself, do it in the saloon bar back room with a crowd... best times of my life)

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>>73869309
>he thinks he's capable of understanding whether life is empty or not
fool, your depression is a trap of your own making.

>>73869309
Buddy, dozens and dozens of people throughout history much smarter than you and I have essentially solved this issue. Nietzsche blew the fuck out of nihilism in the nineteenth century for fuck's sake. Read him and stop trusting yourself to have it all figured out

If everything is meaningless, you have no reason to dismiss self-improvement for being arbitrary. That implies that there is meaning in what is not arbitrary, which there clearly isn't.

A lack of meaning opens far more doors than it closes

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>>73869393
It probably is, but ultimately, it doesn't matter

>>73869396
Since everything is meaningless it doesn't exactly matter whether I'm wrong about whether or not self-improvement is arbitrary or not. Whether I'm wrong in my thinking (which I likely am) or whether I'm right, ultimately both are equally pointless and thus both choices carry the same amount of merit, which is none.

>I'm sweatin' like I'm in a rave

>>73869587
>ultimately both are equally pointless
For this to discourage you, you must believe that there is merit in something having a point. This is the issue with surface level nihilism, it isn't actually a fully formed philosophy at all. You're contradicting yourself by claiming that no thing has any point or meaning, and you do that by comparing it to some nothing of a point or a meaning that clearly doesn't actually exist

Read The Myth of Sisyphus by Camus. Just the first essay. It's pretty much the most entry-level philosophy gets but it's still a great antidote to this mindset you have.

>>73869587
the real question is why do you put so much value in meaning?

>>73869055
Atrocity Exhibition

>>73869653
>some nothing of a point
*some notion

>>73869654
>>73869653

I don't put value into meaning because if I did I would live my life as if there were some kind of significance, regardless of whether I believed it or to be true not by virtue of it simply being meaningful.

But ultimately meaning and something having no meaning are equal. It's all a subjective and crafted lens through which to view life and our own choices and interactions. Life may very well have an ultimate meaning to it but I don't put any extra value on living life according to that principle. To live a life as if a purpose exists is ultimately equal to live life as if there's no purpose at all. Each, ultimately carries the same weight.

>>73869309
"look ma, im edgy! nihilism!"
grow up, kid.
>>73869055
dude you don't need music you need help come on now

>>73869780
>grow up, kid

Why?

OP, if you're anything like me, you're going to go through this progression if you get into philosophy

>nothing matters so everything is bad
>nothing matters so I'm not sure what to do
>nothing matters so I should only focus on hedonistic/egoistic pleasure
>only going for instant gratification may hurt me later down the line, so I should consider the future and always try to make choices that will net the most pleasure later down the line
>to do that I require some level of rigor, self-improvement, and responsibility

THEN you can really get into more classic philosophy, because at that point you've essentially come fully circle

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>>73869309
>life has no meaning so i'm just going to sit here and do nothing
>not creating meaning in life instead of aimlessly searching it in fucking bottles

when you compare human action to some cosmic idea of there "being a point to life" (implying life has to have meaning in the first place) then yeah no fucking shit it's going to seem futile in contrast; it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, and that's precisely why depression is considered a mental illness, because it's not healthy to be thinking like this insofar as self-restricting and giving in to this defeatist horseshit

you say i'm afraid and i say you've yet to even try. you're scared to death and it shows in your projection(s)

>>73869587
>It probably is, but ultimately, it doesn't matter
literally https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-Bq5uqpLmE

>>73869758
>It's all a subjective and crafted lens through which to view life and our own choices and interactions.
Okay so why not go full Stirner and do whatever feels good to you? No matter how nihilistic you are, you can't debate away the fact that some things feel good for you and some things feel bad.

Live your life in a way that maximizes pleasure and minimizes pain. You have absolutely no reason not to, because you're bypassing all thought and appealing straight to the primal responses inside yourself which, try as you might, you can't explain away

>>73869825
are you literally me?

>>73869858
Of course its not healthy. I never claimed to be healthy. And all of life is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy.

>>73869868
Maybe this is what feels good for me which is why I don't seek other outlets and why I'm so unmotivated and driven. Perhaps that is the very life I'm living right now and I'm deriving the maximum amount of pleasure I can and all other avenues will only result in me becoming more miserable. Who knows? I sure as fuck don't. But I'm not about to find some validation in books I never care to start and won't be determined enough to finish enough. It's entirely possible I've done all I can to maximize the amount of pleasure I'm getting in my life. It's impossible to quantify that.

Elvis Depressely. Banes World. Joyce Manor

>>73869978
>It's entirely possible I've done all I can to maximize the amount of pleasure
No it isn't, buddy
This is getting frustrating

Are you SERIOUSLY entertaining the thought that you, who I can't image being over 20, CERTAINLY not 25, have found THE optimal and most pleasurable life and behaviors available to you in this massive, insanely multi-faceted world? If you are, you're fucking retarded

>But I'm not about to find some validation in books I never care to start and won't be determined enough to finish
Cool so basically >wahh life sucks nothing has any meaning, but also i'm not even going to make a token effort to look into the insanely important works and schools of thought other people have already developed to partially fix MY PROBLEMS for me

People like you are a drain on society and I hope you're found washed up on a beach before the month is over. Holy shit if you aren't even going to try because muhh meaninglessnesss just put an ice pick through your head

>>73869141
>>73869214
How do u guys cope with shit like how people look at you and not seeming cool and fashionable

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>>73869978
>And all of life is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy.

you're not listening

>Maybe this is what feels good for me which is why I don't seek other outlets and why I'm so unmotivated and driven

yea because alcohol is a drug and it's designed to Make You Feel Good; problem is, there's no substance (virtue, love, passion, literally etc) in it (among other things like poisons and shit) and that's exactly why you crash and aggravate your problems. your brain and body aren't fucking stupid and i don't understand why everyone seems to think otherwise (i blame society for that personally); they're both crying for you to develop in such a way that's actually resourceful and allows you to stand on your own two feet.

you can begin developing the virtue of self-discipline by telling yourself that you're not unmotivated, but rather you're LAZY and stuck in self-comforting patterns. stop trying to be so safe all the time. seriously, scare the living shit out of yourself. play the scary maze game in the dark in the middle of the night with the volume turned all the way up, i don't fucking know, this is just an example. i'd prefer if you did something outside of your house honestly.

>>73870014
fuck off

>>73869309
t. faggot
the "meaning" of life is to reproduce and not be a miserable wasteful piece of shit

>>73870146
I actually turned 25 this year

>>73870146
I'm not dismissing the books as non-important. Of course they're important and they're written by smart and more intelligent people than myself. I wasn't dismissing them. I'm simply being honest about my own capacity to consume philosophy, internalize it and derive something meaningful from it. In short, I'm an idiot. I've bought and started books, finished very few of them.

>People like you are a drain on society and I hope you're found washed up on a beach before the month is over. Holy shit if you aren't even going to try because muhh meaninglessnesss just put an ice pick through your head

I agree with all of this desu.

>>73870197
>the "meaning" of life is to reproduce
Unless you're claiming that either God or Nature exists as conscious force and have a specific, premeditated goal for us to reach, this isn't true and it a stupid opinion. Evolution isn't meaning, it's a product of happenstance

>>73869055
Coil - Musick to Play in the Dark 1 & 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eu2169itPM0

>>73870242
What is a "meaning" to you

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>>73870167
>How do u guys cope with shit like how people look at you and not seeming cool and fashionable
not being in high school is a good start lol

but seriously, nobody gives a shit about you. everyone's too busy worrying about how they themselves look to others to sit there and analyze you. this is context dependent of course but i hope you see my point here.

>>73870240
>I agree with all of this desu.
I knew you were going to do that.

Consider this: other people are happy. Many people are happy. No, happy people are not simply stupid and blind to the issues that you've concerned yourself with. There are people much, much smarter than you that are happy.

That is the end game. To be happy. People stupider than you have figured it out. People smarter than you have figured it out. This is a YOU problem, not a problem that stems from human concepts like meaning. Blame yourself, shake yourself out of this godawful pity party, and do some fucking work.

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>>73870314
>>I agree with all of this desu.
>I knew you were going to do that.

lmfao i was just about to point this out too

>>73870300
I just wanna stop being like this

>>73870386
These people are all the same. I'd put $20 on his Facebook profile pic being a sad looking mirror selfie, maybe with some text or emojis over it

That, or he doesn't have a FB and is way too proud of himself for not having one

>>73870167
I started actually putting an effort into my appearance and dressing in a way that is uniquely me, yet still appeals to most people

Anyone who tells you to stop caring about looks and "just be yourself" is sabotaging you

>>73870462
Nope, sorry to disappoint

>>73870314
I do blame myself. I don't think its anyone else's fault but mine.

getting off 4chan would be a start

>>73870300
>>73870386
fuck off deadcatposter

>>73870442
When you get a grip on reality, you'll learn that you're not helpless in this moment or any moment forward. You feel that attributing your unhappiness to something out of your control takes the weight off your actions (or inaction), but it's not helping and it won't help you gain any deeper understanding of yourself. You should not sit with all the shit you meet every day and wait for something to come by and shake up your life, that's a delusion. Don't deceive yourself into thinking you're "stuck" ever again. Everybody's just as baby as you are.

>>73870521
>I don't think its anyone else's fault but mine.
You clearly don't fully, or else you would be trying to fix it. You're clearly blaming it on something outside of your control, don't even deny it

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>>73870473
also this

>>73870442
i used to be a very self-conscious person in public until one day i decided "fuck this," got stoned as shit (near incapacitation level) and had as much fun with myself as possible in public. laughing like a hyena, moving my body to my loud-ass music on my phone, anything that would make me look like i was fucking crazy to anyone watching. it worked, and i occasionally still do this when i'm in a particularly self-conscious rut.

we live in a society of people who perpetually live in their own heads and want to seem as sophisticated and consequently stiff and rigid as possible. fuck it dude, look crazy for half an hour or so, laugh like a goddamn hyena. look retarded and autistic. tell me you give a shit when you're done.

>>73869055
i was in this exact mindset less than an hour ago but then i put on New Order's Substance and started writing about how i felt and how i might be able to improve myself and it actually really helped.

>>73869108
this is EXACTLY what you should do OP

>>73870678
also i don't recommend you do this shit in like a city area or something. something like your neighborhood or on the main road of your area will suffice. don't get in trouble.

>>73870672
I can blame myself for my failing and still fail they aren't mutually exclusive.

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>>73870793
everyone fails and is failing in this life. that's precisely the point. fail to win, motherfucker.

>>73870240
I have the same mindset as you because I have no motivation.
I just can't make myself care about most things.
But I enjoy playing music and making art according to my own rules/without pressure, and I enjoy drugs and such.
I understand feeling like shit, but this thing you're doing, with all the semantics and holding yourself up to your subjective value of there being no values, will lead to nothing but nonsensical justification ultimately relying on the fact that you can run back to "yeah but everything is meaningless anyway".
I was in the same position once, and it was boring as fuck.

Tom waits bone machine, mark lanegan bubblegum, qotsa era vulgaris

>>73870678
what's some music to act like a child whilst stoned as shit to

>>73870954
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrIR2dBcLVQ
Especially 1:16

>>73870713
eh, what's the worst that could happen. the things you're not supposed to do are the greatest pleasures in the world. get arrested for once.

>>73869653
I'll second this. A mixture of LSD, Camus, and Watts knocked me out of a 7 year depression.

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>>73870954
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHBEw9I999o

most layered and loud music (like phil spector) is usually what i shoot for

>>73870975
ariel pink is also fantastic for this

>>73870988
true!

>>73869055
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wtHQYOM5l1g

>>73870146
>People like you are a drain on society and I hope you're found washed up on a beach before the month is over. Holy shit if you aren't even going to try because muhh meaninglessnesss just put an ice pick through your head
Why do you have to be such an asshole?

>>73871416
Not him but if you start complaining about how awful everything is and people start giving you genuine advice on how to actually fix it and you just say "no, because nothing matters," you kind of surrender your worth as a human being

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>>73869055
cheers

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You definitely need that new FFHKS in your life.

https://ffhks.bandcamp.com/album/hawaiihighway

>>73871451
Human beings aren't worth much to begin with.

>>73871843
You don't actually believe that, you're just being edgy

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>>73869055
Elliott Smith is your man.

He's perfect if you're a drug addict and/or fucked in the head (in my case both)

Downward spiral by Danny brown

>>73869055
EnJoy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVVdEqBbr4k