Did you ever hear the Tragedy of The Black Kids? I thought n

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Did you ever hear the Tragedy of The Black Kids? I thought not. It's not a story the critics would tell you. It is a /mu/ legend. The Black Kids were dark lords of shitty indie pop music, so powerful and terrible that they could use their guitars to influence the vibrations in the air to create sheer aural horror. They had such knowledge of horrible bland indie-pop garbage, they could even use it to get initially positive scores from Pitchfork.com. The dark side of indie pop is a pathway to abilities many consider unnatural. They became so powerful… the only thing they were afraid of was losing their hype, which eventually, of course, they did. Unfortunately, they taught their apprentices everything they knew, then their apprentices took over the charts while they fell from the public consciousness and got a dreaded Joke Negative Review from Pitchfork. Ironic. Pitchfork gave them life, and then Pitchfork took it away.