ITT: Post Christgau reviews and others guess the album >If

mbv

>>72537734
>album

>>72537720
What a fucking faggot.good meme though

Not only are those not her breasts, at least not the ones her biologicals gave her, but her hair isn't really pink or, wink wink, straight. Not only is the quick-lipped hoyden of the year all "Young Money, Cash Money, yeah I'm Universal" with every upper-case except the "I" discretionary, but she's consorting with Natasha Bedingfield and reminding will.i.am how he did it. Half rapping and half singing, half bragging and half kowtowing, brazening a "punt" rhyme here and proclaiming commonality with "girls that never thought they could win" there, she's proud to be shameless, with the hooks to back it up. She knows well the presumably stolen words of her male collaborator-counterpart Drake: "Everybody dies but not everybody lives." And damn right she calls this living. A

>D+

>>72538974
King Crimson - In The Court Of The Crimson King

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>>72537720

>>72538944
what a fucking nu-male

>>72538944
Pink Friday <3

>>72537720
was Christgau the original nu-male?

>>72539212
>>72539324
pretty sure this dude is trying to piss people like you off

People who like 'Progressive' rock and metal are nu-males

>>72539391
fuck off tripfag

>>72539394
t. actual nu-male

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>>72539391
I guarantee I've listened to more and a broader range of music than him, closed minded people who are insecure about their own masculinity criticise Nicki Minaj to try and appear more masculine just like they would listen to metal to try and prove the same thing when in fact it just proves they themselves are insecure nu-males

>my chart

>>72539466
>"I guarantee I've listened to more and a broader range of music than him"
>taste is entirely generic /mu/core and pop music
AHAHAHAHA, this is bait right?

>>72539490
Show me your chart then, bitch

>>72539466
cringe

>>72539510
i don't have one, because i don't feel the need to show off my """"""totally unique and eclectic"""""""" taste to strangers on the internet

>>72539490
You probably think Atrocity Exhibition is a great album
>nu-male

>>72539490
Right?

>>72539510
>calls other people insecure
>but is the most insecure out of them all

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>>72537742
Aren't you a dense motherfucker

>>72539543
i mean it's not bad, i don't see what that has to do with anything

As with so many black artists from this country, [Artist's] latest lyrics seem a little perfunctory, mixing vague politics of dubious depth with hackneyed romantic sentiments of dubious depth, and so what? [Artist] is not obliged to devote himself to propaganda. As with so many black artists from this country, the music is primary here, a message appropriate to his condition is conveyed by the unrushed rhythms and the way the sopranos share equally with the instruments and the new wariness of his phrasing and dynamics. B+

>>72538974
>>72539035
fucking kek this man is genuinely stupid

>>72539539
You have a RYM?

You're afraid to show off your shit taste

>>72539466
This is a generic chart nigga.

>>72539571
no, i don't have one of those either. fucking kek, i'm convinced you're either a troll or no older than 17

>>72539466
wow can I suck your dick

>>72539557
It's cringy af
>Danny Brown has not thematically progressed in his lyrics from his last two albums, still talking about being suicidal on drugs and he's too famous for it to be believable
>The middle of the album is filled with shitty two minute forgettable failed experiment tracks >Worst album lyrically
>Dance In The Water is nearly all hook and bad verses
>Lines like: "Some people say I think too much, I don't think they think enough"

>>72537720
>A record so dreadful I listened to it all the way through just so I could note its passing, which I trust will be instantaneous. The worst of at least four modes: concept-rock, theater-rock, space-rock, and Anglo-Iberian, with a real live Spanish Person on castanets, vibes, and high heels. Olé. And cha-cha-cha. E+

>>72539652
>fame automatically makes depression go away!

opinion discarded

>>72539705
Doesn't give any real insight and still no progression about any aspect of his life or the world at all
All of his songs are about the same thing up now until the point that it means nothing
I'm pretty sure its an OTT act at this point

>>72539574
Name one thing bad on it

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>>72539662
>E+

>>72539784
It's generic, I just said it.

Problem isn't that it's more self-conscious than (last album), which is inevitable when your stock in trade is compositions not songs. Problem is that it goes on longer--which is also inevitable when your stock in trade is compositions not songs. Just ask Yes. C+

>>72539814
Not generic:

>Maxinquaye
>Experimental Jet Set Trash and No Star
>Sleater-Kinney
>Rilo Kiley
>Southernplayalisticcadillac
>레드벨벳
>Featuring 'Birds'
>Mule Variations

Name one bad album on it, you can't

>>72539879
Ok, you have some unique albums, I give you that.
>Name one bad album on it, you can't
Pinkerton, Pink Friday, Live Through This, Da Drought 3, Fearless, Teens of Denial, 4, Beyoncé.
Well, that was quite easy.

>>72539927
Those are all highly acclaimed albums and just because you don't like them doesn't mean they're bad, I'm sure there's some stuff you like that I don't, I mean that's just difference in taste not actual quality

>>72540061
The only one of those that is highly acclaimed is Pinkerton (and Beyoncé, I think), what are you talking about?

>>72540105
Look up the wikis for all the albums they're all positively reviewed

>>72540248
Postively isn't the same as highly.
Anyway, I need to sleep. Keep listening to whatever you want to listen to and using critics as the only way to excuse it.

>>72537720
How best expiate a conflicted grief--sardonic musing? Depressive rage? Ironic japes? Cautionary tales? Misery so brutal you burrow through to the other side? Surely something with more tensile strength than musical flower arrangements, doncha think? *

>>72540276
I can defend any album there without critics, you haven't told me anything about your taste so if you're gonna leave I can assume it's probably crap and unoriginal

>>72540276
>Positively isn't the same as highly

You probably go on metacritic every night and look up every album you like and make sure it's over 90 on metacritic and if it isn't you decide you don't like it anymore

>>72540061
Pinkerton is most definitely bad.

>>72541167
Pinkerton is brilliant, I hate all of Weezer's other albums except for their last one (including the blue album)

The thing that makes Pinkerton so great is the self-production which gives Weezer that edge they've always lacked, the drums sound like Surfer Rosa and lyrically it's personal and relatable.

>>72541441
Honestly the only thing I dislike about the album is the lyrics. I just can't get how unrelatable they are to me.
I should have said I dislike the album.

>>72541491
Can't get past*

>>72541491
Yea I understand that, I think its polarising because of the lyrics

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>>72539466
>/mu/ and /fantano/core
>entry level hip hop and rap
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>broad range of music

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>>72540248
>Bases his taste of reviews
>Gives a shit what reviewers think of his taste

>>72539927
live through this? u ok nigger

Another anticlimactically after-the-fact American release for these purveyors of melancholy and autohypnosis, and enough to make you understand why whole writing seminars haunt the import shops awaiting their next twelve-inch. __ ___'s torment is less oppressive here because it's less dominant--the dark, roiling, off-center rhythms have a life of their own. And if last time the dancier material had hooks, this time even the dirges have something closely resembling tunes.

>>72541606
See >>72539879
>>72541628
I don't, I'm using it as a rebuttal to someone accusing them all of being bad when they obviously aren't I can defend each one individually and explain why they're good
>>72541644
Great album

>"...although students of the class system and serious cunnilingus fans might forgive him anyway..."

>>72539466
My cousin

A hypnotic, slow-motion trap-life tone poem. [...] He's a junkie, addicted to the liquid scag crack magnates and FruityLoops prodigies mix with carbonated beverages so as to forget their demons—and believe that he mentions "hell" and "the devil" more than your average syrup sipper. Does his life ever not sound like fun. I'm sure he fucks a lot, but does he come? Opiates, after all, are notoriously anorgasmic, and while he does once resort to the term "make love," the porn tracks are long on domination and athletic ability. If only our deluded nation took hip-hop seriously, this miserable minor masterpiece would be all the proof we needed that money can't buy happiness. A-

>>72542591
Danny Brown XXX, but he re-reviewed it recently and gave it an A-
https://noisey.vice.com/en_us/article/danny-brown-times-three-expert-witness-with-robert-christgau

>>72542721
ds2

>>72539466
>black people music in top ten
Completely disregarded.

Extolled for their multipartite songforms and, da-da, dynamic shifts from soft-to-loud, as well as their intimate knowledge of mental illness, these guys look like unassuming alternative types and in real life may be same. Their sad sack affect fits right in. But musically - structurally, as one might say - they're art-rockers without the courage of their pretensions. And if you promise not to mention the lyrics, they promise to keep the noise down.

They bitch because everybody compares them to Joy Division, and they're right. It's way too kind, and I say that as someone who thanks Ian Curtis for making New Order possible. Joy Division struggled against depression rather than flaunting it, much less wearing it like a designer suit. What's truly depressing is that, just as the hairy behemoths of the grunge generation looked back to the AOR metal they immersed in as teens, these fops tweak the nostalgia of young adults who cherish indistinct memories of much worse bands than Joy Division, every one of them English--Bauhaus, Ultravox, Visage, Spandau Ballet, Tears for Fears. At a critical moment in consciousness they exemplify and counsel disengagement, self-seeking, a luxurious cynicism. Says certified British subject Peter Banks: "Emotions are standard and boring. I'd like to find another way to live." That's thinking either big or very small. C+

Death-metal hip-hop for El-P fans who secretly wish the Insane Clown Posse wasn't so dumb

>>72539391
Dude you were so cool when you were repping Sisters of Mercy. Don't ruin it now by falling for the "Nicki Minaj is bad" meme.

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>>72539466

>>72539466
>I guarantee I've listened to more and a broader range of music than him
And yet your taste is still garbage lol

Melodic. B

(artist) lends new meaning to the term "survivor", meaning "If you can't kill the motherfucker, at least make sure he doesn't breed", and until VH-1 got on the revolting "Heroes" video, I'd hoped never to sample this piece of make-work for his rich, underemployed friends. Oh, well. The only thing that could render it more self-congratulatory would be a cover of Jefferson Black Hole's "We Built This City". C-

>>72537720
think this one is loveless
>>72538944
hmm... sounds like pink friday
>>72539564
is it exodus?
>>72545519
could it be thousand roads??
>>72544875
has to be turn on the bright lights
>>72544516
spiderland?

(artist) has never been Mr. IQ to begin with, but this album is downright embarrassing. All of which makes his continuing failure to conquer MTV a mystery. Between his fop coiffure, one-dimensional beat, and relentless sexual self-aggrandizement, that's exactly where he belongs along with Billy Idol, but hey, what's a little grease among professionals? C-

>>72539490
It's probably not bait but it is funny as hell

A decade ago, (artist) had a bright idea: he pretended to be a punk. Since then he's thought mostly about shouldering his world-historical mission, and though that hasn't precluded more bright ideas, none of them has involved his music. B-

All right, all right--he's a great guitarist, and an intermittently commanding vocalist. Unlike most Hendrixites he can step a sharp shuffle, and unlike most Texas boogiemen he's a great guitarist. But he's still not a great or even commanding artist, because the classic album he has in him, Jimi Boogies, keeps getting ruined by installments of (artist) Shows Off. This moves along right nice, especially on side two--until (artist) elects to close with a long slow soulful one that only gets going with a Hendrix coda. B+

>>72545519
isn't this David Crosby or Stephen Stills, can't remember which

This is measurably stronger than (album), and I hear enough new hooks and arresting bass runs and audacious jokes to stretch over three ordinary albums--or do I mean two? I also hear lazy rhymes and a song about dancing with Father Time and two sides that begin at a peak and wind down from there and an LP title that means more than it intends--or do I mean less? B

>>72545690
David Crosby. Christgau hates all of them except Neil Young and his reviews of their albums are usually pretty hilarious.

>>72545663
SRV

Lydia Lunch feature from current LP b/w best-of sorta from their three previous releases--all of them, as is noted once you've paid yer money and zipped yer shrink-wrap, still available in the kind of shoppes that stock such arcana--plus pieceashit outtake from current LP. Suck their dicks or pussy as the case may be. D

I feel a distinct generation gap between myself and this music, not because my weary bones can't take its power and speed, but because I was born too early to have had my dendrites rewired by progressive radio. The momentum of this band can be impressive, and as with most fast metal (as well as some sludge metal), they seem to have acceptable political motivations--antiwar, anticonformity, even anticoke. Fine. Problem is, the revolutionary heroes I envision aren't male chauvinists too naive to know better, they're not Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan the Barbarian, all flowing hair and huge pecs. That's the image (artist) calls up, and I feel no more obligated to summon their strength of my own free will than I would the 1812 Overture's. B-

>>72537720
I legitimately had no idea that people outside of Cincinnati gave a shit about Wussy

>>72545722
yeah, I remember reading them a while ago and getting a good chuckle. his review of If I Could Only Remember My Name is hilarious even if I do like the album

Worth ignoring while she was merely precious, she must command our brief attention now that she's becoming overvalued as well. With the possible exception of Saint Joanie, who at least has some stature, this is the bad folkie joke to end all bad folkie jokes. Between her breathless baby-doll sexuality, abiding love of her own voice, and useless ideas about injustice and prejudice, she may well turn out to be the most insufferable hollow-body guitarist yet to crave the world's attention. End of story--I hope. C-

Just as I was learning to hear past the bullshit they upped the ante, so fuck 'em. When I feel the need for contemporary chamber music or sexist japes, jazz libre or vers ordinaire, I'll go to the source(s). C

"No apologies/For the misogyny," although students of the class system and serious cunnilingus fans might forgive him anyway

One thing you can say about a funk band who has a hit as sappy as (song)--they ain't as funky as they used to be. Or maybe they never really were a funk band to begin with, instead merely skilled professionals who understood funk's entertainment value the way John Denver understood folk's. I love (song), (song), and (song), but they're not even on the same side of this depressing compilation, half of which is devoted to (artist) and his mealy mouth. C+

>>72537720
okay
>picture of bomb
or
>picture of scissors

what a worthless fucking man

Xian Xover queen: "What's the difference between a PMS'ing woman and a bulldog? Lipstick! See, only a woman can tell that joke." Don't be so sure, lady. And note Hits's gnostic riposte: "What do you get when you cross an atheist with a dyslexic? Somebody who doesn't believe in dogs!" C

This one should be easy:

I find it impossible to give this record an A because it is just too weird. But I'd like to. Very great played at high volume when you're feeling shitty, because you'll never feel as shitty as this record. B+

Vol. I was 1978 and there are still only two '80s cuts, with 1980's (song), all that's worth salvaging from (album), and 1987's (song) the closest they've ever come to actual protest, both missing. And you know what? At one nullity and one dubiety a side, it's every bit as solid as Vol. I, which happens to be the best album they ever released. I should mention that because I prefer their slick early-'80s decline to their soulful late-'70s ascendancy (not to mention their fusoid early-'70s launch), my tastes in this matter are unorthodox if not crackpot. But if you could scarcely give a shit, which at this late date is sane enough, here's some slick, soulful fun. A-

The album is unlistenable for a simple reason: (artist). Now 62, he's incapable in body as well as mind of negotiating the first new (artist) material since 1982's dreadful (album). Gesturing futilely toward high notes as he tries to remember his acting lessons, he croaks, growls, shouts, emotes and otherwise bollockses songs he's sure are profound. When the leader spells him seven tracks in, the sharp uptick in modesty and lyricism comes as a relief until the "Wake up and hear the music" jag at the end. But it's the leader who decided prog was a peachy idea, the leader who designates yet another song cycle a "mini-opera," the leader who gives the orders around here. So the album is also unlistenable for a complicated reason: (artist). C

". . . might sound strange/Might seem dumb," (artist) warns at the outset, and unfortunately he only gets it right the second time: despite his Southern roots and '60s pop-rock proclivities, he comes on like a real made-in-L.A. jerk. Onstage, he acts like he wants to be Ted Nugent when he grows up, pulling out the cornball arena-rock moves as if they had something to do with the kind of music he makes; after all, one thing that made the Byrds and their contemporaries great was that they just got up there and played. Thank God you don't have to look at a record, or read its interviews. Tuneful, straight-ahead rock and roll dominates the disc, and (song), which kicks off side two, is as peachy-tough as power pop gets. There are even times when (artist)'s drawl has the impact of a soulful moan rather than a brainless whine. But you need a lot of hooks to get away with being full of shit, and (artist) doesn't come up with them. B

>>72539466
Scamimi has rated them all

>>72539591
His cum has musical taste.

>>72539466
Are we seriously going to pretend Nicki Minaj is good? Poptimists were a mistake

>>72545560
Correct on Spiderland

>>72545560
Correct on Turn on the Bright Lights

(artist) has always projected an effortless swing, and his tradeoffs with Eric Clapton on (song) are classic. There's only one thing that's undefined--oh wait, it's the songs. C+

Damn, this thread reminds me that I've read every Christgau article at least three times over. Who can even compare?

Having concealed his ego in metaphor as a young songpoet, (artist) achieved success when he uncloseted the spoiled brat behind those bulging eyes. Here, the brat appears only once in the nominal guise of the stranger. The rest of (artist) has more or less grown up. He's now as likable as your once rebellious and still tolerant uncle who has the quirk of believing that OPEC is a plot to ruin his air conditioning business. B-

>almost hooky enough to reconcile me to a world that needs Marxist background music ***

>>72548609
Scruffi
Reynolds
Gorokhov

Tight playing, intricate harmonies, and textures from many lands combine for a first side that cooks throughout. There's only one problem. Still, as unsympathetic as I am to lyrics about conquering the universe on wings of thought, they make me shake my fundament anyway. B+

Make way, it's a genuine Rock Band galloping onto the scene to save us from an onslaught of meaningless pop music. (artist) is here to remind us of the things that really matter, like the girl you fell in love with and hearing your favorite song on the radio. His pronouncements are almost as interesting as Al Gore's, with the exception that the latter's might actually affect our lives. C+

This is slightly better than (album) (not to mention (album)) and rather worse than (album) (not to mention (album)). Its only ambitious lyric seems to equate skateboarding with sex with (male) hubris; its expertness conceals neither schlock nor shtick nor strain of ego. It is leading the nation in FM airplay. C

How would you feel if the Four Lads got back together and covered Boy George and Stevie Wonder on the same album? Betcha they still harmonize pretty good too. C+

>>72539864
some other prog band
ELP?
>>72541673
Joy Division
>>72545739
8-Eyed Spy?
>>72545998
TMR
>>72546004
Earth, Wind and Fire

>>72549472
hmm, got guesses 1 and three wrong
>>72548631
Stereolab
>>72548609
what set him apart - aside from longevity in the biz - is that he mostly stuck to the capsule review form. having to cram well-informed and often complex opinions into a small space forced him to condense his writing into high-impact snippets that stick in the mind