In theory, metal is today's real rock and roll--the music

talentless hack general?

Inb4 ur privilege.

(Not mine, i'm a transgendered robot.)

YOU GOT ANY CITATIONS FOR THAT?

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>>69569413
Anyone who will completely disregard an entire genre of music - especially one as expansive and with as much variety as metal - is a fucking retard

What's Xgau's end game?

>>69569605
https://www.robertchristgau.com/xg/vr/decline-118.php

In theory, Robert Christgau is today's real rock-and-roll critic--the critic of the people. He's basic, he's rude, kids love him, parents hate him. But the closer you look, the stupider and more delusory it seems. Christgau isn't basic--his reviews cultivate a pseudo-virtuosity that negates content. The dreams he promulgates are usually foolish and often destructive. Eighty per cent of the "people" who like him are male, and 98% of them are white.

>Eighty per cent of the "people" who like it are male, and 98% of them are white.

So it's literally patrician, masterrace core

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/albumreviews/fly-on-the-wall-19850912

(not Christgau's review, but thought it might offer a little insight)

>Critics scratch their flaccid quills against the hide of the beast, but even if a head should fall, there are ninety more ready to spring up in its place. Punk seemed to offer the kids an alternative in terms of grunge, incompetence and snotty, nosethumbing attitudes. After all, what was punk rock but a revved-up morass of heavy-metal chords? But punk remains a cult taste; what went wrong?

>The key to the whole shebang is the Guitar Solo. Punk rock is just too damn smart for its own good, whereas heavy metal, by virtue of its undeniable stupidity, has a built-in survival mechanism that guarantees its astounding regenerative capacity. How else do you explain the ongoing commercial impact of all these groups that possess the exact same idea of what makes a band? The Guitar Solo – the stupider, the better. (Though a screeching, ultrasonic lead singer helps, too.) This Is Spinal Tap was homage, not parody.

I know just as many latino people who're active fans of metal as I do white folks at this point.

How to make an album Christgau will enjoy:

1. Loud
2. Fast
3. Short
4. Left-wing

Bam. Done.

>>69569847
I don't get why critics would crap on bands like Ratt and Slayer for being dumb as dirt, but they all jerked off Iggy Pop who barely had any more depth to his lyrics than Poison.

I just love the amount of butthurt Christgau causes even though he's way past his prine

>>69570610
My guess is because the Stooges really couldn't play at all, let alone have le ebic shredder solos. They basically made a wall of disjointed noise (cf. Fun House) while being high out of their minds on drugs. It was total chaos, not a precision Jeff Hanneman solo.

Guys like Christgau have the idea that any rock-and-roll where the guys can actually play is "false" and wannabe classical music.

>>69569413
is this the new 'the fact that'?

Alot of metal is very complex and not basic at all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1X0Bejwnko

>>69569413
meanwhile, real intellectual critics like scaruffi have a healthy appreciation for metal

>>69570629
He just has this way of being insufferably pretentious in every single thing he writes. Even his "reviews" of albums I'm apathetic towards manage to annoy me.

Christgau apparently only likes hit singles and has never accepted AOR as a legitimate form of rock music.

>>69572156
yet another example of pseudo-intellectual music

>>69572322
What method did you use to determine that it's pseudo-intellectual and not real intellectual music?

My IQ is within the top 1% of the population and i like this album

He won in the end anyway--bands of the Motley Crue type don't exist anymore and rock since the 90s has been largely punk-based.

Strange living in a time where literally everyone promulgates *absolute* equality - so long as it doesn't apply to white men.

>>69572357
You could say Kurt Cobain won too because of that and how rock has withdrawn to the underground just the way he wanted.

>>69572188
Scaruffi is even aware of legit obscurities:

>On a totally different note, Benighted Leams, the brainchild of English guitarist Alex Kurtagic, played cartoonish black metal on Caliginous Romantic Myth (1996); and Austrialian one-man band Vorak delivered the spastic, childish Triumph Of The Will (1996).

neither of these albums are for the faint of heart!

>>69572519
Observe that Christgau is very very plebian and knows almost nothing outside of major label releases, occasionally underground bands if they're from New York, but that's it.

>>69572538
Filth [Neural, 1983]

With guitars and a bottom end that howl like a mechanical bull and percussion techniques borrowed from the scrapyard industry, this is No Wave honed with 5 years of practice, too messy for mysticism and too funny for suicide. In the great tradition of their live sets, it does get wearying and lyrics are available to suckers on request. Not only is it not for everyone, it isn't hardly for nobody. I think it's a hoot. B

>>69572352
I didnt listen to it
its metal
and therefore shite

>>69572156
let me get this straight, you visit /mu/, and yet you still get offended by christgau and scaruffi? dude, they are walking memes, i love metal but i laughed my ass off reading this, christgau is a funny guy,

>>69572660
You sure gave it a fair chance, what can i say

>>69572156
>extremely generic metal track
good lord

>>69572685
It's not "extremely generic"

>>69569413
>The dreams it promulgates are usually foolish and often destructive

what exactly does he mean by this?

In theory, OP is today's real gloryhole cum whore--the oral sluice of the common man. He's basic, he's rude, dudes love him, wives hate him. But the closer you look, the stupider and more delusory he seems. OP isn't basic--his blowjobs cultivate pseudo-erections that negate large pearly loads. The cum he guzzles is usually dribbly and often yellow. Eighty per cent of the "johns" who glaze up his face with manmilk are junkies, and 98% of them are syphilitic.

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>>69572712
Say, this album is suggesting we should replace our flesh and blood bodies with cybernetically enhanced robots.

What the fuck kind of message is that to send?

>>69572632
Swans is from NY though

>>69572782
Only a fucking retard would talk that seriously.
Shitty b8.

>>69569413
>The dreams it promulgates are usually foolish and often destructive

don't particularly like metal but has he forgotton mods and rockers used to kick the shit out of and sometimes kill each other purely over rock music and culture in the 60s?

I don't remember any metalheads warring recently

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>>69569413
Nothing makes you look more retarded than throwing made up stats in the air.
>Why 98 percent bob? Well I I'm just making a point Jim! why not 93 or 97 why 98, well I don't know! It's the damn kikes bob!! I'm telling ya!!.