please give me some feedback on this song I made http://voc

gb2 reddit

>>69452982
..no!

bumppppppppp

don't die on me, thread!!

someone pls I crave criticism !

i like it man. would listen.

>>69452955

I hope your not being serious. that was horrible. work on your vocals and get better beats.

>>69454527
better.... beats?

>>69452955
Turn the vocals down a bit and replace the cheesy piano with a bass maybe? What youre playing on it's fine but it being piano is cheesy af

>>69455266
thanks for the genuine advice, man.
I've been erring on the side of loud for the vocals because I don't want the lyrics to be lost in the backup vox. I'll turn them down and see if I can make it work.

As for the piano part, it might work as a bass line. I'll try it out

-Voices like yours have many places in music, but where they dont belong is on instrumentals like the one in this track. Plucky pianos, those harmonies, not really a good fit.
-Lyrics were ok, but The songwriting was great, and the strongest asset of the song.
-production and mixing was low quality. I dont blame you for not having the skills or tech to really make great production, but maybe simpler instrumentals like the "only acoustic guitar" part will be a better choice.
-I see you have have good vision, and definitely know how to "put a song together", still there is work to be done.
-finally, what kind of stuff do you like or what stuff inspired this track?

File: image.jpg (223KB, 960x614px) Image search: [Google]

223KB, 960x614px

>>69455891
I'm glad you like the songwriting because I think of myself primarily as a songwriter rather than a producer or arranger. I mixed it on the GarageBand app on my phone and the only instruments I have are a piano and a guitar, so I have to try to make it work.

I like The Beatles, Neutral Milk Hotel, Bob Dylan, Weezer, Animal Collective, My Bloody Valentine, The Beach Boys, AJJ, etc etc (I know my taste is "my-core". I listen to a broad range of music, but these are my favorites.

Thank you for the in-depth feedback. I'd be happy to answer any more questions you have.


You can listen to other songs I've made at samweinberg3.bandcamp.com

It's not bad. It's got a lo-fi beachy feel that's innocent/nostalgic.

>>69455266
I agree to turn down the vocals, but I think the cheesy piano gives the song some character.

Horrible. I'm sorry dude it was just really bad. Vocals were mostly the worst part, but also lyrics were just stupid as fuck.

>>69452955
its a good start
vocals are bad though
sounds emo-revivalist
needs some maturing to do

>>69455989
Check out the first two micheal jordan touchdown pass ep's

Songwriting is super strong you have a knack for catchy melodies and a summer feel

I liked the backup vocals harmonies a lot

like everyone else is saying the vocals are too high in the mix.

the production is obvi pretty amateurish and I'm sure it would help a lot if you paid someone who knows a bit about mixing to give you a hand. I feel like that would solve most of the problems. Because while the song is great and catchy, the muddy production keeps it from having that "bright" sound music like this needs

but if you do that you could rly have something going here

>>69455989
8/10
great taste
except for ajj

as for the song it's pretty cheesy. if it were me making it i would get rid of the"ooh woos" and the "lu uh uh-vs" right before the moon. i would also make it less produced in general by not doubling the vocals removing the piano or replacing it, add some distortion and keep the backup harmonies but maybe change the stop cut it near the end
the vocals are also kind of cheesy teenage emo sounding. you could try singing more flat

i really like the chord progression though

if this was just taken off of reddit or something i guess i just wasted my time but it's a solid start

>>69457300
also experiment a lot

there's no downside to it and most artists are afraid and always play it safe resulting in boring sounding music

>>69457321
I do experiment quite a bit, but currently in trying to get a good handle on pop songwriting in order to establish a foundation for myself. Much like the Beatles or the beach boys

>>69452955

I actually really like this. It's cheesy as all hell, yeah, but it's not "bad" because of that. You're good with lyrics and you have a nice voice.

You definitely need to work on making the sound better though. If you can do that, and get your voice and the instruments to sound less shitty (and I don't mean either are shit, I'm saying whatever you recorded with makes it sound shittier) you've got an overly cheery but catchy song.

I also do agree with replacing the things that make it sound produced like the doubled vocals but keeping some backup harmonies. I like the piano though, I feel like that's what gives it a lot of the cheery feel to begin with.