Why was 80's rock so bad ass? Long hair, booze and cocaine,

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>>68393658

you forgot about the dressing like a woman part

>>68393658

but hair metal fucking sucks

okay dad

>>68393658
Literally the worst scene of all time. It actually grosses me out to even look at images of 80's hair metal bands. Like I actually want to throw up.

>>68393881
But motley crue

>>68393848
Would rather dress like a girl than to be like a girl tbqh

>>68393903
Motley Crue sucks and you responded the the wrong guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Toy1A5uO1sA

this is acceptable though

speaking of fagots

https://youtu.be/J0gEzuAvcoM

>>68393920
Nigga do you even fast

https://youtu.be/Vm5auKDPoSY

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>>68393903
>Would rather dress like a girl than to be like a girl tbqh

>>68393955
pls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdCwdfjMqHg

>>68393989
N-nani?

>>68393989
Haha

https://youtu.be/k7WZ1CdlX_M

>>68393658
when Gods strode the Earth OP...I miss it...

>>68393658

HAILS TO W.A.S.P.

definitely underappreciated on this board.

>big fucking hair
>big fucking balls

big fucking pile of shit too

>>68393658
Rock was a mistake

the only good, but not great, glam/hair-metal bands were Guns N Roses, Twisted Sister and Hanoi Rocks.
Motley Crue were decent at times. The rest is total trash.

>>68394486
As opposed to grunge which had, what, one or two good AIC songs.

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>>68393658
Well you said it
>cocaine

That's all there was to it.

>>68393879
That's not entirely fair, some of them dressed like gay homosexuals. Not just like women.

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W.A.S.P. [Distinctions Not Cost Effective, 1980s]

He who drinks like a fish shall fuck like a fish. And I don't think that's the animal they had in mind.

Slippery When Wet [Mercury, 1986]

Sure, 7 million teenagers could be wrong, but their success does carry a certain documentary certainty. What it does prove is that youth rebellion is toothless enough to simulate and market. But then, who ever thought youth was dangerous in the current climate anyway? Would you prefer the band market patriotism instead? And are you really immune to "Living on a Prayer"? C+

New Jersey [Mercury, 1988]

I must say, I admire Jon-Jon's transparently pseudo-Springsteenian desire to improve both his artistic reputation and his platinum count at the same time. You could sit back, identify with the masses, and enjoy its giant hooks all the while. You could learn to love "Living on a Prayer" as I did during nonstop rotation at a community pool. Or you could lose your lunch. Now pass the barf bag this way. C+

In the Heart of the Young [Atlantic, 1990]

The pall pop metal casts upon 1990's horrendous Hot 100 is a triumph of mass narrowcasting. By downplaying anything blatant in the music, marketers minimize tuneouts based on accidents of gender or subgeneration--potentially, any passive Caucasian under age 25 should be willing to consume (in descending order of marginal differentiation) Poison or Warrant or Jon Bon or Heart or Cheap Trick or David Goddamn Cassidy. So let the nadir stand in for all of them. Swallowing hooks from blooze to prog, masking their will to power in fake vulnerability and youthcult rote, Winger is Whitesnake with the sexism muted and the facelifts down the road. They may last a while, they may not. They're so bad that they're not even completely terrible. C-

>>68395153
Fuck off, In the Heart of the Young is a great album and I still listen to it proudly. Bon Jovi is only so so.

Motley crue, ratt, dokken, wasp, van halen, loudness, skidrow and whitesnake all had some great records

Whitesnake [Geffen, 1987]

The attraction of this veteran pop metal act has got to be total predictability--the glistening solos, the surging crescendos, the macho love rhymes, the tunes you can hum before the verse is over--each one new, yet somehow heard before. Who cares if they're an obscure nine year old vehicle for the guy who fronted Deep Purple five years before that? Rock-and-roll's ninth or tenth "generation" of frightened high school boys can claim them as their own. May they pass from the ether before the current crop of 11 year olds sprouting pubes claim their MTV. D+

Slip of the Tongue [Geffen, 1989]

They got lucky and they don't intend to let go. With fast hand for hire Steve Vai handling all guitars and god knows what other assorted geegaws, they've consolidated the essence of all arena--pomp, flash, tough guy sentimentality. This is now the worst band in the world. So you just move over, Journey. (hey? where is Journey anyway?) D

john hertler is that you?

>>68394486
You misspelled Dio, Dokken & Ratt.

Shout at the Devil [Elektra, 1984]

It comes as no surprise that this platinum product is utter dogshit even by heavy metal standards. Under orders from editors unable to distinguish Iron Maiden from Wynton Marsalis, my beleaguered colleagues at the dailies have been saying so all year, and every insult goes into the press kit. Still, I must mention Mick Mars's dork-fingered guitar before getting to the one truly remarkable thing about this record--a track called "Ten Seconds to Love" where singer Vince Neil actually boasts (!) how fast he can ejaculate. Therein I believe lies the secret of their success--if you don't got it, flaunt it. Followup--"Pinkie Prick". D-

Decade of Decadence: 1981-1991 [Elektra, 1992] :(

>>68396256
Dio isn't hair metal, you baka gaijin.

Pyromania [Mercury, 1983]

Fuckin' right new heavy metal is different from old heavy metal. The new stuff is about five silly beats faster. And the "new" metal singers all sound free, white, and more-or-less twenty-one. C

Hysteria [Mercury, 1987]

You know about the music and if you don't think you'll like it, you won't--impeccable pop metal of no discernible substance--completely irrelevant to everyone but AOR programmers and the several million addicts of the genre. In short, it's product, but from a technical and marketing standpoint, it's interesting product. Stuck with over an hour's worth of material after four years (how long can 12 songs be?) and being astute technocrats who've conceived for hour-long formats, namely audio cassettes, which outsell vinyl discs now, and CDs, which outdollar them, they've elected to put it all on one album. I find the cassette sound a little dim, as commercial cassette sound tends to be, and while I do enjoy the depth of the vinyl once I crank my stereo up to 9 or 10, the CD's clarity comes through decisively as the needle approaches the outgroove. I mean, I have trouble perceiving these guys as human beings under ordinary circumstances. Not docked a notch because at least they didn't pad it into a double. C+

Adrenalize [Mercury, 1992] *bomb*

>>68396256
>fucking Dio
>fucking hair metal
fucking fuck off you deluded fuck

So what's more horrible? Hair metal or post-grunge?

>>68394631
So gay homosexual is like a double negative, right?

>>68396346
What about post-hair metal?

go back to /b/ you failed homunculus retard

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>>68395096
>>68395153
>>68396172
>>68396258
>>68396307
>Actually caring about dogshit reviews
There was some trash, for sure, like the shitty, keyboard-soaked ballads, but there was some great stuff from hair metal and AOR bands in the 80s:
>Pretty much anything by Whitesnake, especially 1987
>Street Lethal and Second Heat by Racer X
>Anything by Dokken
>Pride by White Lion
>Anything by Def Leppard
>O.F.R. by Nitro
>Most of Europe's albums, including The Final Countdown
>Malmsteen's more commercial albums, like Trilogy and Odyssey
>Ozzy's albums with Jake E. Lee
>Alcatrazz's first two albums
>Anything by David Lee Roth
And I'm surely forgetting a shitload of them. And let's not forget that the 80s was the decade where guitar playing was taken to the next level by virtuosos, and that the grunge explosion ushered an era of dogshit playing where the less you could play, the more you were acclaimed. Fuck this shit.

>>68396346
Post-grunge, definitely. While it wasn't state-of-the-art or innovative, at least hair metal was fun.

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These two fuckers are the definition of Hair Metal. Bad ass guitar player, entertaining bass player, and big hair.

>>68393920
>>68393903
Cinderella was good though

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>all those insecure beta faggots seething with jealousy at Mötley Crüe's rock n roll mastery and at their success with women
baka desu senpai

>>68396346

apart from Foo Fighters, post-grunge is even worse.

>>68396824
true, true

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>mfw Glamfaggots got BTFO by Thrash

>>68393658
>Born in le wrong generation

>>68397264

man, 80s sluts were trashy af.

>>68395096
Through the Fire [Geffen, 1984]

Calm down, it's only corporate metal. No need to get upset at these four grizzled dildos. Still, you'd think their merger would at least produce a good name for a law firm. D-

Cherry Pie [Columbia, 1990]

"Cherry Pie" *scissors*

>>68396761
>and that the grunge explosion ushered an era of dogshit playing where the less you could play, the more you were acclaimed

>he thinks Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, and Soundgarden were bad musicians
You never heard any of their songs, have you?

>>68399734
I wasn't talking about grunge specifically. They're by no mean bad musicians, guitar-wise it's correct it's just that I think shred guitar became instantly regarded as a bad thing when the grunge fad started, and guitar-driven music became boring because solos became a no-no (except for death metal and a few power metal bands in the mid-90s). And also the unbearable faggy attitude of Nirvana and its followers. That's also the reason why I hate shoegaze, noise and most indie "rock". Guitar-wise, those genres are fucking pathetic.

>>68394486

GN'R weren't glam/hair metal. I mean, they had the look in their very early days when they were still playing clubs on the sunset strip, but they dropped it by the time AFD came out.

Actually won't lie, Motley Crue were fucking amazing

>>68393658
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkysjcs5vFU

>>68399562
no, sluts from every other decade are trashy.
80s babes are glamorous.

>>68399871
But Pearl Jam et al had lots of solos. The thing that happened with post-grunge was that they copied Nirvana's style of playing (because basic three chord rock with no solos could be played by anyone) but Eddie Vedder's vocals because Cobain's singing style was nearly impossible to replicate.

>>68400176
>>68399734
Those guys were all children of 70s AOR like Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, and Aerosmith which emphasized dirgy songs with extended length solos. Don't get me wrong, Cobain was a big fan of AOR metal too, but his simplistic playing style was that of punk groups rather than metal, and he always said bands like Pearl Jam were fake because alternative rock shouldn't have solos.

Korn actually were the band that killed off the guitar solo rather than Nirvana.

>>68400235
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXldvojPwvo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckuJMMRrVLM

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>>68396761
>Christgau
>dogshit

>>68400267
They might have played solos live, but they didn't have them on their albums. Most every hard rock/metal album to come out after Korn had no solos.

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>excerpt from the 1997 P&J Poll

"U2 always put on far too many airs for my taste--a working class band with pretensions beyond their humble origins. The rock-and-roll I grew up loving in the '50s was short, fast, and funny. Critics in their 30s, who grew up with the AOR of the '70s, which was long, slow, and somber, probably see things in there that I never will, and U2 came along at the tail end of the AOR era, with its soberness and wide sonic expanse. Myself, I'd rather have more Little Richards and fewer Jefferson Airplanes."

>>68400349
Maggot Brain is the first thing that comes to mind when he mentions slow, dirgy 70s rock with long solos. That encapsulates it better than anything.

>>68400408
It's very spacey stuff that you were supposed to listen to while sitting in a beanbag smoking weed.

Gene Simmons said that Appetite For Destruction is one of his favorite albums and it had an "honesty to it that was missing from the late 80s rock scene."

Call it what you like but a lot of those hair metal guitarists were god level for example Reb Beach and that dude from Nitro. Mick Mars was just okay though.

I always felt the issue with critics like Xgau in general is that they overfocus on lyrics.

Did you also make that Nirvana sucks thread where the OP was going on about 'grunge fashion' being exclusively inherited from gay hookers?
Because it sounds the same as this.

>>68393658
W.A.S.P.'s first few albums fucking rule.

Everything that was fun about hair metal was done ten times better by Motorhead, and thier music has aged a fucking ton better too

>>68401352
That's just because Motorhead only played power chords and not that super-dated 80s shredder guitar. Basically a jacked-up barroom band. Which is probably why Christgau like them. :^)

Neo-classical wankery is one of the most annoying things in popular music.
And the pretension surrounding it by both musicians and fans is fucking horrendous.

>>68401282
most of them do