You can go to Equestria but you have go with no strings attached.

>>30743229
No, fuck you, I deserve hardships

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>>30743229
I couldn't. Magic is open-ended in MLP and I have too many secrets to risk ANYONE finding out.

>>30743251
This.
Punish me for my sins, I deserve swift retribution.

>>30743229
I better get my goddamn legs back.

We will NEVER go to equestria.

EVER

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>>30743229
But what about the laws of equivalent exchange?

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>>30743229
Fuck you mintpone.
Tell me whats the catch.

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Its deserves at least a human sacrifice

>anon is a piece of shit his entire life
>a complete faggot
>imagine the biggest, most irredeemable faggot possible
>then double it
>greedy, narcissistic, irrational and paranoid to the extreme
>however his faggotry is matched only by his autism, leading him so far to believe that both Equestria and hell exist in the afterlife but knows he's too much of a cunt to go anywhere but south
>one night while waddling through the street in only his stained, hand stitched fluttershy onesie and tactical fedora on the way to his local smash tournament he's run over by a peaceful truck driver
>anon lays bleeding in the street shrieking unintelligibly about niggers
>as death approaches he sees a bright light and two noble angels descend upon him informing him of the second chance he's been granted to make up for his wasted existence
>anon hears none of this as he continues thrashing in the streets
>instantly teleported to the outskirts of ponyville he springs up in his record time of 45 seconds before reeeing "I'M NOT EVEN A FUCKING PONY I KNEW THOSE FAGGOTS WERE DEMONS"
>drawing his razor sharp DS stylus from the FedTac™ tactical fedora he shrieks "EAT SHIT NIGGERS I PLAYED DOOM I CAN FIGHT DEMONS" before running to the city
>4 seconds later anons heart ruptured from the incredible stress before he falls to earth once more

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>>30743229
Something's not right here.

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>>30743229
But how would any of us move without our strings?

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>>30743229
>Go to horseland
>Life is perfect
>Not an ugly scrawny bad posture having ugly autistic faggot anymore
That's pretty much what I've always held as my personal hc.

>>30743229
Alright, I'm ready, OP!
When can I go?

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>>30743868
That's the string, you can't.

>>30743229
>Go to Equestria
>Freak out because I've lived my entire life inside the city I was born in and the prospect of having to restart everything somewhere else terrifies me

>>30743996
Just become a subject for study at Canterlot, and get the government to pay your way until you can get yourself situated.

>>30744031
>implying horseland monetarily supports leeching otherworldly neets

>>30744058
Naturally, you'd have to earn it by being subjected to degrading physical and psychological exams since you're a new, undocumented lifeform. And they won't find you entertaining forever, but it's a good starting point.

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>>30744031
>>30744058
Nah, I could get a job and all that, it's just, leaving everything you know and getting trapped in a place where you have nothing, no family or friends to back up on if things get bad, no knowledge of where anything is, just staying awake all night for weeks which only further stresses your already strained psyche.

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>>30743984
I'm coming for you, OP, you lying quadruple nigger

>>30743453
underrated post

>>30744083
Good thing it's easy to make friends with ponies, right?

>>30744116
Theoretically speaking sure, but Moondancer managed to be a friendless recluse and she's far more compelling than I am.

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>>30744122
If you're not willing to go out on a limb and make some friends, you deserve to be unhappy.

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2 things my fellow Anons.

1. Do you believe that the world we are currently living in is our trial that would one day judge us if we are worthy of going to Equestria?

2. If we are irredeemable, and we so happen to be insufferable pieces of shit and somehow end up in Equestria, don't you think we could trust our fellow ponies in Equestria to better us or perhaps change us us for the better?
One word. Conformity.

>>30743852
>>Not an ugly scrawny bad posture having ugly autistic faggot anymore
>scrawny
>bad posture
Fix that shit for her right now. Do pull ups or some shit and at least look like an alpha even if you're not.

>>30745417
1. I wish, but my fedora senses tell me that the concept of an afterlife is just a coping mechanism for our fear of death, and in many of our cases the fear of a wasted life.

2. Ponies are amazingly compassionate and I'm sure they'd love to help us, but they can't help us if we don't help ourselves. If we spend a whole lifetime wallowing in pity and indulging our unappealing behavior, then why would we behave differently to what we became accustomed to once we enter Equestria? No point in saving a personal reformation for once we're in Equestria, especially since if we do it now we'll get to meet them without ever having our bad side making our first impression

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Selfish bump.

>>30743229
No strings attached you say
https://youtu.be/sLmAlskhRZc