>take a bunch of cough syrup and CCCs >have massive seizure

>shit that never happened

>>30685445
dead serious., all the cops locally know I'm a syrup head ponyfag now.

Also

>I was butt naked

>>30685445
To be honest, knowing Needlechan, it's probably completely true.
>>30685469
I'm not sure if this makes me disappointed or glad that I wasn't able to move in when you offered.

>>30685469
If you're gonna fry brain cells, at least avoid CCC.

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>>30685490
Maybe its both. We go hard here.

>>30685495
yeah I dont do CCCs anymore

Also, protip to you syrup heads
>5oz bottle generic delsym
>888mg DXM poli
>on comedown
>watch Princess Twilight Sparkle
>poners fucking GLOW

Did you masturbate while high?

Also, what's CCC?

>>30685972
Street name for DXM basically.

>>30685438
>"You're listening to K-CLOP, the only station that really rocks!"
"Ugh, really, Sweetie? I left behind my old world trying to get away from human proclivities. I don't want to hear those cheesy ass radio lines here."
>"Fuck you, Anon. Pay me to stop."
"And get that gum out of your mouth. This whole punk thing makes you look like a faggot."
>"I need something to chew on while I'm bored. What would you rather have in my mouth, your dick?"
>...
>"AHAHAHA! You thought I was serious! That's-"
>She takes a moment to give you a once over
>"Eh, why not, I got five minutes. Meet me in the supply closet."
"Wha-"
>"What, do you want be stuck with me blowing you on air? I doubt you want me to recite one of those cheesy lines around your dick. Actually... that would be pretty hot. Gotta take up with my producer about green lighting it for Casual Fridays."
"Uhm."
>"C'mon, Anon! It's either you or that retard janitor, and you know he's packing."
>You eye the fishnets riding up her crack as her tail swishes back and forth
>Fuck it
"Y-You better not make a remix of this!"
>"Please, I've heard you jacking off in the stalls. Your grunts sound even more retarded than the janitor's."

>Five minutes later you want to jump out a window
>She turned on the PA system while you were balls deep in her throat
>Everyone heard your performance
>Even the janitor is laughing at you
>The remix is being sold on iTrot
>Fuck your life
>"Do it again next Friday?"
"Yes."

>>30686123
Kek

>>30685438
Umm. Sorry. Who you?

>>30686123
that's pretty hot
>ywn pound a punk Sweetie Belle into a puddle of her own sex and sweat, fucking her until she moans her throat dry on live radio
>ywn bump into Rarity in the market the next day and act completely casual as she stammers and stutters trying to avoid eye contact and dip out of conversing with the alien who fucked her sister cross-eyed

>>30685994
Well the fuck is DXM?

>>30686184
>ywn feel her dexterous tongue and lips wrap her treat from tip to base of your shaft as she gives you a bubblegum blowjob
>ywn stare in awe as she retrieves it from your spent member and enjoys the new cream filling
>ywn feel your heart pound as she chews that same gum for the rest of the 8 hour show
>ywn be so overcome with lust by that point you can't keep yourself from jumping her in the booth the moment you're off air

>>30686322
robo tripping on OTC cough syrup

>>30685972
>>30685994
CCCs are DXM but mixed with shit that gets you higher but can kill you

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>>30685438
>getting high by overdosing on cough syrup and CCC
Judging by that alone, I'm willing to bet a testicle that OP is an underage high school freshman.

>>30685438
"next we have sail on, by commodores"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_9AWZN_xZQ
(3:58 is when seizure hits)

>>30686465
But did you try to fap while high? I must know, for science.

lrn2darknet you goddamn high schooler

all the cops where I live know I'm a pedophile

>>30685438
Rule one of Dex is you don't do triple C's my man. What were you thinking?

>>30687593
Its hard to fap while high on DXM but I've been successful before

>>30687608
I dunno. I did two boxes because it always got me fucked up. Regret doing it so often now though.

>>30687605
>>30686663
I can get any drug I want but I like DXM

>>30687608
>drugs
>thinking
Pick one.

>>30685438
>Be one step above a fucking hand sanitizer drinker
>Publicly announce this fact
You deserved everything that happened to you

>>30687634
>>30687593
Can confirm fapping on this shit is difficult. You just can't orgasm. You're lucky that you could at all, sometimes I still can't when I wake up the next morning

>>30687696
yep I know that feel but the morning after afterglow is nice

>>30685438
I just remember taking tussin and almost choking with the cat stereo on in the parking lot. I miss sim but I need to be high off of life these days
Even caffeine has lost its edge Mann ... Do you know how it feels when am energy drink makes you tired?

>>30687634
>I can get any drug I want but I like DXM
And that doesn't include pure DXM powder does it? Which is why you're downing cough syrup like a 13 year old.

>>30687720
easier (and legal) to just go get some 'tussin

>>30686123
>ywn fuck punk Sweetie so hard and so well that she completely forgets about all the other dicks, only sucking on yours
>ywn transform her into a perfectly functioning member of pony society and teach her how to be a good marefriend ready to be married only using the power of your dick

>>30686123
More?

>>30687742
>I can get any drug I want
>easier (and legal) to just go get some 'tussin
So you can get any drug your mom says you can get when you go out for your tendies?

>>30686123
"Comin' in at ya hot, it's K-CLOP! Welcoming you back to the love shack with Lil' Sweet and Big Nonny D!"
>"Please, stop."
"What? I thought this is what you wanted."
>"I know, I know, but it's physically painful when you do it."
"Too bad, blow me."
>"Hey, if it'll get you to stop I'll let you fuck my ass raw and cum in my mane."
"...Those our plans for the evening, or...?"
>"Just shut up and finish the announcements."
"Right! Onto the traffic report: if you're coming in from the southbound to Ponyville, be advised there's been a 32 pony pileup. Apparently somepony left a banana peel on the road and unsuspecting ponies kept slipping on it. And you know what happens when a pony lands on their back - they become entirely helpless."
>"Just like me, daddy~"
"Woo boy, is it hot in here or is it just this station?"
>"The whole fucking studio is like ten degrees hotter than it needs to be, don't remind me."
"Uh... So! Bright and sunny skies, if you're feeling up for a picnic now is the time to go out and have one! Later tonight, the Canterlot Criminals performance LIVE here in house!"
>Cheers pierce the tiny room
"Haha, that's right folks, we have a huge crowd here waiting to hear their new single. Not to mention a chance for prizes every hour as we count down to the performance."
>>"WOOOOOOO! This is gonna be awesome!"
>A muffled shout is heard followed shortly by a thump and squeaking noises
>You peer out the studio window to find a giant white ass rubbing against the glass
>"Is that Celestia?"
>Sure enough, the princess of the sun is garbed in a sweatshirt with a baseball cap turned backwards as she knocks back a tiny plastic cup of cheap beer
>>"This is gonna be radical brah!"
>The glass cracks under the tremendous pressure
>It's supposed to be bullet, or in this case, magic blast proof
"What fresh hell is this?"
>"Yeah! Rock it girl!"
"Don't encourage her."
>"Wow, our princess actually has a really nice ass."

>>30690908
"Aaaand now my marefriend is checking out other girls. That's right folks, this is my life now."
>"You know you love it~"
>The intro to the next scheduled song kicks in
"Alright, break time's over! It's more of your favorite jams with radio's hottest couple! Up next, Pinkie Floyd! If you're feeling bad, don't! It's Nonny B. Goode!"
>[Deep down in Ponyville close to Dodge City]
>[Way back up in the woods among the Everfree]
>[There stood a log cabin made of earth and wood]
>[Where lived a human boy named Nonny B. Goode]
>"You have a song about you?"
"Don't ask."
>A loud rattling catches your attention
>The window the princess was pressing against shatters and blows shards of glass across the sound board and the two of you
"What the fuck!"
>"Well at least someone blew their load in my mane today."
>The crowd erupts into loud cheering
>Followed by chanting
>>>"Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!"
"This is not going to end well."
>The two of you are dragged out of the studio and into the lobby by the partygoers
>Sweetie is being held upside down over a keg as Celestia prepares jello shots on her plush belly
>You're not sure how much time has passed, but by the time you come to, you're on stage during a live performance, stage lights blaring down on you
>The roar of the crowd fighting against the booming music, lead singer smiling as he dances around you and shoots cheap liquor into the air
>A horrible feeling creeps up your spine as you feel a hot breeze wash over your exposed crotch
>"Fuck me! Fuck me harder you green bastard! I don't wanna feel my legs tomorrow!"
>You're fucking Sweetie Belle on stage in front of a live studio audience
>Already you can see the flashes of camera phones in the darkened room, recording this moment
>Soon all of Equestria will see you hunched over a sister to an element of harmony as you choke her out with your trademark tie
>Rarity will see this
>The crowd is chanting again
>>>"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

>>30685438
What are CCCS?

>>30690915
>Actually, this feels pretty good
>It's like you're a fucking rock star
>And it's not like you have anything else to lose after they take your jerb
>Fuck it
>You'll deal with the consequences after you wake up from your hangover
>For now you have your marefriend and an entire crowd to please
>A smile comes to your face as you pick up the tempo and the crowd cheers
>Tonight
>For one night only
>Nonny B. Bad

>>30690921
>The two of you sit in front of the boss' desk
>You, head low and shoulders hunched, ashamed as you should be
>Sweetie, head on her hoof and staring boredly at a wall as she pops her gum
>The tapping of a hoof playing havoc with your nerves
>"Do you have any idea the kind of trouble you're both in?!"
>He slams his hoof down
>"Hosts missing! Music followed by dead air! Advertisements unread! News not updated! Prizes not given out!"
>Sweetie just rolls her eyes
>"What happened to our techie?"
>"We found him locked inside the back room and gnawing at the controls in hunger!"
>Poor Sound Cloud, the pegasus was nearly catatonic when you came in this morning
>"I have half a mind to make sure you never work in this industry again!"
>He's red in the face as it looks like it's taking all of his strength to supply oxygen to his lungs
>One of the station managers comes in and sets a stack of paper on the desk
>"The ratings from last night, sir."
>Your boss picks it up bemusedly
>The color in his face returns to normal as he flips through and reads it over
>"Say, how would you kids like to do this every week?"
>Your jaw goes slack, Sweetie's gum pops over her muzzle as for the first tine, genuine surprise flashes across her face
>"Casual Fridays?"
>Really, Sweets?
>"Yeah, I remember you asking about that after last week. Yeah, sounds good. Real good!"
>His demeanor does a complete 180 and he starts laughing
>"Now this is what the industry needs! Passion! Drama! No one listens to music anymore! They want entertainment through other's lives!"
>Basically Reality TV
>What the fuck kind of evil have you brought to Equestria?
>"I'll see you two bright and early tomorrow. I want to keep the hype from last night rolling."
>"Sure thing, Mr. Serious."
>"Sirius."
>Before you can follow her out, your boss wraps a foreleg around your neck
>"Anon, my boy! Celestia has requested you to host at her next party. Apparently she had a hell of a time with you last night."

>>30691236
>He waggles his eyebrows
>You're trying to forget, you feel dirty just thinking about it
>"Aren't you two in an open relationship?"
>No, that was just a drunken Sweetie trying to wrestle you from the equally as drunk if not more so princess before falling on her and making out in your stead
>"Hope so, because she's having a lady's night at the guard barracks and I hear they just came back from a 2 year stint in the Saddle Arabian deserts without seeing a stallion in all that time."
>Dread, but also erection
>"And I hear her sister is an even heavier drinker than she is!"
>Now there is only dread
>He pats you on the back
>"You're gonna go far. Go get'em, kid."
>You shamble out of the office in a daze
>This is not what you expected at all
"Sweets, you still shooting that 'sugar cane' you told me about?"
>"Yeah, why? Interested?"
"I think I'd like you to introduce me to your supplier. I'm going to need it."
>She smiles at you
>Her supplier was fucking Pinkie Pie
>It was actual sugar cane
"Not a phase my ass."

>>30685438
I want to fuck a punk Sweetie Belle's throat until it's so raw she is unable to comment on her radio station for a whole day

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>>30691244
>Dread, but also erection

>>30691515
>pic
When you step into other people's cornflakes.

>>30691488
"What's that? She's signing something with her hooves, however that works."
>"...!"
"She says she wants to be fucked over the railing of one of Canterlot's balconies while all the ponies down below watch."
>"!"
>She waves her hooves frantically
"Then she wants me to pull out and blast my cum all over her face until her mascara looks more like clown paint."
>"!!!"
"Goodness, then she wants to teach the children sex ed with her body as an example. You are just a being a little degenerate today!"
>She's punching you now
"You want a jizz smoothie courtesy of all the castle guards? Can you even drink all that?"
>She knocks over the mic trying to strangle you, eventually causing the two of you to fall over and off the desk
>Her face is near buried in your junk as she pouts up at you cutely
"Don't blame me for the fantasies you put on your Flankbook feed."
>Her anger turns a little smug as she begins rubbing her muzzle into you, causing a tent in the fabric
>Slowly she unzips your pants with her teeth, maintaining eye contact
"Do you like being a mute or something?"
>She just grins wider
"Do you enjoy it when you can't speak for yourself? Like a little pet? My little pet?"
>Her gaze takes on something of a more serious tint as her breathing hardens
>Your dick pops free of its confines and slaps her right on the nose, her lip gloss leaving an oily smear on the underside as it brushes her lips
>Tauntingly she begins to swirl her tongue around the tip of your glans, planting little kisses on the tip
>It's taking everything you have not to pin her down right there and then and start fucking her with that look she's giving you
>Licks turn into bobs before she takes a deep breath through her nose and lowers herself down to your base, taking you into her throat
>Her tongue slips out and begins to caress your testicles

>>30691817
>The feeling of the little stud piercing on her tongue as it presses into the base between your shaft and balls sends shivers along your spine
>Hot snorts of air hitting your belly as she gets used to your girth, a contented hum escaping her already sore throat
>Keeping it held for so long makes the eye shadow in the corners of her eyes start to bead up with wetness as her face slowly turns red
>Eventually she comes up for air with a cough, thick saliva creating a tunnel-esque web from her mouth to your dick
>The cool contrast between the air and the thickness of her spit gives you the sensation of fucking melted gelatin
>After a few minutes of this process being repeated, you eventually push her away and start to move her around
>She immediately and eagerly falls face first to the floor, wet cheek slapping against the tile as her ass wiggles in your face, almost purring as she gives you lustful, needing eyes
>You pull the hem of her fishnets harshly up her backside, eliciting a moan from the frazzled filly as you slide them back and forth to grind against her sopping lower lips
>With little care you tear the material, leaving you an unhindered path right into marehood
>Positioning yourself against her entrance, you give her a few teasing rubs before you thrust into her in one quick movement
>The thick feeling of resistance returns as you fill her, saliva from the prior blowjob seeping out around the edges as it's pushed out from her depths to make a white, foamy ring around your base, creating another sticky web tunnel between the two of you
>Lifting her up still joined at the hip, you lay her across the sound board, flipping all manner of switches in the process
>As the final song comes to a close you flick the on air mic back on so as to broadcast to all of Equestria
>Each thrust slides her against the board as heavy slaps echo in the tiny room
>Her moans come out in croaks, voice scratchy and soft from the soreness of vocal chords
>"F-F..ck -e!"

>>30691820
>The sound is grainy and forced, like an old whore with seventy years of smoking under her belt
>But coming from the young filly before you, it's an odd turn on that just spurns you faster
>Her croaking turns into squeaks as you pound her harder and harder into the sound board
>Amps flare and whacky sound effects go off as the mic screeches the hardware goes haywire
>But you're in too deep a trance to care
>Moments later you hit your peak
>With a momentous thrust that threatens to tear the desk from its bolts, you pour hot seed into her womb
>Her voice finally cracks as her tear-stained, blackened eyes go wide and she lets out a strangled scream
>You rock on your toes as the force of the orgasm pulls you forward with every rope that tears its way from your throbbing cock
>Losing your footing with the most recent ferocious blast, you fall out of her, regaining your balance just as the final voluminous bursts paint her backside and leather jacket, semen dripping down and staining her cutie mark
>Heavy breaths wrack her body, filling the mic with lewd vocals as she trembles from the sensory overload
>Good god, you've never cum so hard in your life
>The door to the studio bursts open as your boss trots in, looking over the mess the two of you have made
>Board broken, overhead mic dangling loose, chairs flipped over, desk slanting to one side due to a corner of bolts being ripped from the floor
>After a moment of silence he smiles
>"Keep up the good work! We're really getting them over in Trottingham!"
>The door slams shut
>With a heavy sigh, you reach over the comatose Sweetie Belle
"This has been a special service announcement from K-CLOP, the only station that gets you hot, makes you sop and has you breaking out the mop. Now for some oldies but goodies, here's Hooked on a Feeling."

Thanks for the green senpai

Nice fucking green, Anon!

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>>30685438
>giggle nervously
>realize the cameraman is recording material for "COPS"
>panic
>fuck it, if you have to go down better do it in style
>strip in front of the agents while singing the MLP theme song
>get tasered in the nuts
>lie on the ground while wetting your self, muttering "praaaaaaise Celeeeeestiaaaaa"

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>>30691832
dick status: muh