So a little hypothetical here: say you live in your mom's

>>30660208
>What should you do?
Go to the ER

File: IMG_4296.png (74KB, 180x254px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 180x254px

This is either fake or real
I can't tell which one is better or worse

File: 1498263825215.gif (885KB, 500x352px) Image search: [Google]

885KB, 500x352px

>>30660208
you didn't did you OP, Jesus Christ

File: d3b.gif (1MB, 516x516px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 516x516px

>>30660216
But, under this purely hypothetical situation, you are only covered under your mom's insurance so if you go to the ER she'll find out you stuck a pony toy up your butt with money you were supposed to use for food

>>30660232
>>30660242
Well of course! Hypothetical. Because no one in their right mind would ever do something so stupid amiright?

>>30660259
>But, under this purely hypothetical situation, you are only covered under your mom's insurance so if you go to the ER she'll find out you stuck a pony toy up your butt with money you were supposed to use for food
You basically have 3 options:
- Go to the ER
- Find somebody to take it out (risky)
- Die

>>30660208
Ask a friend for money
Buy food with it
Then go to the ER to get the horse out of your butt

How far up the butt are we talking?

>>30660346
>small plastic pony toy
Surely not far

>>30660208
Presumably, you already tried to just reach in and pull it out with your fingers?

Overall PROTIP: put a condom over anything you shove up your ass that's not a proper sex toy. It will blunt any rough edges and you will be able to pull it out by the end of the condom.

nb4 he tears his anus when trying to get it out and ends up in the ER anyway

File: chubby twi.png (185KB, 393x576px) Image search: [Google]

185KB, 393x576px

>>30660208
Put a few more up there.
To avoid a medical emergency, your condition needs to be stable.

>>30660208
Just wait for the shit train to push it out.

It's not like it's some sort of complex shape that'll block your intestinal tract.

>>30660208
Chris Chan?

File: image.jpg (99KB, 900x500px) Image search: [Google]

99KB, 900x500px

>>30660377
Twiggy you need to fuck right off

Jesus Christ, I came from a cringe thread on /b/, believing that this thread was for mlp enthusiasts, with the odd cringey post here and there. Congrats OP on proving that once again, /mlp/ is a place of concentrated autism.

File: Help me Ponychan.png (786KB, 1259x617px) Image search: [Google]

786KB, 1259x617px

>>30660208

>>30660356
I really don't wanna know how did you get this "PROTIP"...

>>30660271
This, stop being a retard and go to the ER.

File: 1467903500419.jpg (94KB, 601x508px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 601x508px

>>30660208
>tfw the twilight figure you shoved up your arse hours ago finally slips out but the wings are no longer on her.

File: 1335473998879.png (1MB, 1280x961px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1280x961px

>>30660377
KEK

>>30660271
>Get somebody to try to take it out but they force it too much and anus starts bleeding profusely.
>Panic and call an ambulance to pick you up.
>Ambulance arrives and you explain the situation to the paramedics who promptly drive you to hospital.
>Die of blood loss during the journey.
Go big or go home OP.

>>30660208
What's stopping you from taking out

>>30660271
I recommend option 3.

Or salad tongs.
Or both.

File: Fluttershy0002.jpg (65KB, 960x547px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 960x547px

>>30660377

>>30660208
Go to a clinic and file as a non-minor with no money. How the fuck do you stretch your asshole that wide, retard?

Eat a 5lb bag of sugar free gummy bears.

>>30660208
go ask /tg/ for their Cosmic Brownie milkshake recipe.
Because this pasta is stale.

>>30660208
Mario bros 2 overworld theme intensifies.

>>30660208
>inb4 another ass pone haunting.
Try to bargain with the toy, and maybe it will forgive this madness.

>>30660208
Pics or it didn't happen

>>30660577
Hey, atleast we're not /b/

You go and eat a bunch of greasy fast food and it'll come right out with the load.

>>30660208
hypothetically you starve to death and natural selection once again proves to be the best method of social pruning.

File: EVERYWHERE.gif (413KB, 350x196px) Image search: [Google]

413KB, 350x196px

>>30660377

hi homer

File: 163272262.jpg (464KB, 681x1024px) Image search: [Google]

464KB, 681x1024px

>>30660208
/mlp/, everyone!

>>30660208
Shit it out.

>>30660208
Harry is this you?

>>30660592
This is why Americans don't deserve universal healthcare.

File: Bad idea.png (42KB, 394x360px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 394x360px

>>30660208
OP, are you sure you can't just reach in far enough and pull it out?
There have been times I thought I got something significantly larger stuck up there but it turned out all I had to do was persevere and reach in farther.

>>30660208
Just say you got mugged and raped

>>30660592
I don't know how the ER could do anything about that. Glass shards for life.

/r/ the screencap of the /k/omarade who shoved a shotgun barrel up his ass.

File: Bullet urethral.png (2MB, 3904x2792px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3904x2792px

>>30664666
Not that one, but close enough I guess

>>30660208
So what happened to OP? Is he dead?

File: 1499291686877.jpg (73KB, 604x458px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 604x458px

>>30660208
Let's be serious OP.

My first suggestion to you would be to see if you can't move it a little closer to your rectum. You would be surprised - very surprised - to see how much that little ring can stretch. What you will need however, and plenty of it, is lubricant. In the event you don't have it, My suggestion is to basically fill your ass with olive oil to get yourself nice and slippery. Do this in the bathtub or shower or some other place where you are unlikely to cause a mess.

Then, get digging. Don't lie too deeply on your back as you can push the toy upwards, but allow yourself access to your ass with your hand and wrist. What you should ATTEMPT to do is locate the toy in your rectum, and then use two fingers in a come-hither sort of way to try and hook it out, or a little closer at the very LEAST.

Important: apply lube liberally, stop if you feel pain of ANY variety internally - basically any pain other than, say, the stretching of your sphincter as you put a finger or two inside. You're going to fish it close to the entry-hole, and then try and ease it out, digit by digit.

I don't feel particularly alarmed about having something inside of you; it's more the damage that it might do if you accidentally cut yourself on any pointy bits (wings, hooftips, horns, etc). Don't be too alarmed; but just be gentle and wary.

Can I also ask - who was the pony to receive this novice's course in anal spelunking?

>>30664838
>Mfw realising that it's been 15 hours since OP posted and that he has most likely gone to the ER room already.

Fuck I miss fast /mlp/

>>30660377
Took me a moment.

>>30660470
>complex shape
Uhm, anon

>>30660208
Why do you live in your mom's basement Anon?
Why did you buy a toy with your mom's money Anon?
Why did you put it in your anus Anon?