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If you don't intend to go to Equestria for the purpose of

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If you don't intend to go to Equestria for the purpose of finding your true love, marrying them, having a bunch of beautiful children together and living a long, prosperous life, you don't deserve a place there.
>>
>>30652963
Sure thing, mr "the show is mine and I do what I want with it"
>>
For once, you're not too much of a faggot OP
You're 100% right
It'd be your duty as first/only/last human over there to try and make as many kids as possible
>>
>>30652963
If I go to Equestria, then I go because I was given a second chance. My dick doesn't work and my legs don't work. Every last living, waking moment of mine will be spent learning, making friends, and solidifying connections so that I can pass the torch to whomever comes in my wake.

I'd sure as fuck love to find my true love, but I don't think they have Viagra in Equestria - and if they do, it'll probably make me piss blood or some shit because of the different internals.
>>
>>30652979
I know the truth can be hurtful, but you must accept the facts and grow stronger through them.
>>
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>>30652963
I want to marry Pinkie Pie and adopt Peachy Pie as our filly daughteru.
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>>30652963
But that's exactly what I intend.
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>>30652963
I only want to go their to start a thieves guild and become a major shitlord.
>>
bomp
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>>30652963
That fucking pic makes me gag...
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>>30652963

But what if I'm going to Equestria in hopes of cucking Princess Cadence and having a kid with Shining Armor?
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>>30654364
Have a cuter one my nigga
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>>30652963
>children
what if biology doesnt work that way
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>>30654391
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>>30653007
Leave your legacy at the base of harmony, a number of us plan to do the same should we be the first anon, godspeed.

>>30654373
Then you herd up like a man/mare and have a loving family with candy ass.
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>>30652963
>Wanting to have a normal life and settle down immediately in a world filled with magic and all other sights instead of seeing and experiencing it all.
How fucking mundane, besides you can do it afterwards.
>>
>>30654467
>having the chance of living there
>and trying your luck by going outside horseland
>with magical creatures ranging from bug dears to manticores to dragons to hydras and who the fuck knows what
Oh yeah, sure, have fun
Chances are you won't get past yakyakistan or even the everfree desu
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>>30654480
>His mama never taught him about protection
I'm sure with the right amount of coin, there would be ponies greedy enough to be hired in exchange for accompanying me and satiating my wanderlust.
>>
>>30654521
>protection
>against creatures 10 times your size and/or hundreds of times your weight
Okay

>ponies
Well if you watched the show you'd know that there isn't that many ponies exploring shit and literally no pony ever went as far as yak yakistan
And that goes for the everfree
And that goes for the dragon lands
So.... unless you can pick one of the princesses, or glimglam, you're fucked
>>
Why would you want to fuck a horse? Yes they talk and have bright colours but its still a horse.

Horses are not hot, not sexy and smell bad. Keep it in the species people.
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>>30652963
Indeed.
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>>30654745
Anon we're not talking about whorses, we're talking about the kind of mare you settle down with, the type you'd introduce to your parents over dinner and the type you'd raise a loving family with.
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>>30654745
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>>30652963
Eat shit, I'll go and do as I please. Maybe even find your waifu, take her out for a very nice dinner, take her back to her place, bid her goodnight and NEVER talk to her again. So fuck you you faggot.
>>
>>30654983
Bitch i will punch you in the face so hard all of your male ancestors will feel it and by the time my fist gets to your momma all it'll do is write down where she can find me so I can take her out for a nice lobster dinner.
And then i'll NEVER call her again.
>>
>>30655006
Fag I'll face fuck you so hard your dog will truly know what it means to be a bitch, after which I'll take her to the park and show her a good time with all the other dogs.

And then NEVER play fetch with her agian
>>
>>30652963
what ponie should i cum inside
>>
>>30652963
But what if you're gay
>>
>>30655393
then your anus will stretch out while dying a horrible death
>>
>>30654745
You realize the smell is an intellect dependent thing, right? Humans aren't nice to smell without regular baths either.

Anyway they're neotenized, and are much cuter than RL horses.
>>
>>30652963
The problem is I want a waifu to love and cherish but I don't deserve one. I am a grade A failure with nothing. So then I resort to my defense mechanism of pushing others away to save what little dignity and self respect I have left because of my depression and suicidal tendencies.
>>
>>30655393
You die of aids.
>>
>>30655539
AIDS are gay
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>>30655500
>You realize the smell is an intellect dependent thing
wot
>>
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>>30655412
I imagine impregnating a completely different species, living in an entirely new world and raising hybrid children would be quite the adventure.
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>>30655610
what if they were reverse satyrs
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>>30655574
If you're retarded you don't wash yourself, dumdum
Animals don't take baths, and if you were as dumb as a horse, you'd stink just as much, if not more than one
They're not horses.
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>>30655610
>good proportions
>top cute satyr kid
>ponytail dash
holy fuck that's a 10/10 sketch
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>>30655610
>you will never
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>>30655555
Quints confirm AIDS is gay.
>>
>>30655610
>his kid isn't a pure-appearing pony foal
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>>30655882
Who/what is the one beside Lyra?
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>>30655981
nigga thats hope
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>>30655610
>Bringing disgusting, sterile, abominations into the world to be forever ridiculed and bullied.
Anon, you don't really love that child.
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>>30656067
>sterile, bullied

Don't even like satyrs but it seems like contrived drama when creatures like minotaurs, griffons, and bug bears exist.
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>>30655669
>Animals don't take baths
but thats wrong.
>>
>>30656032
Shes cute. I have to look into this 'Hope'
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>>30656099
If you're pedantic maybe.
>>
>>30656085
>Griffons are their own race with their own lands.
>Minotaurs are their own race with their own lands.
>Satyrs are not, and they will never become their own race with a place in the world.
When will this fetish end?
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>>30656099
Okay, let me rephrase that, they don't use soap or whatever and they don't bathe unless you consider rain as a 'shower'

>>30656067
>ponies are nearly half as much xenophobic as humans
It's like you don't even watch the show, faggot
>>
>>30656085
>>30656122
Just an FYI, movie confirms Hippogriffs exist.
>>
>>30656122
But any bullying would be based on shallow stuff. It's less about being their own species and more that Equestrians would be used to the idea of species that look like a mishmash of two very different creatures.
>>
>>30656128
many animals bathe in rivers and lakes, use their tongues, and some take dirt bathes

>>30656122
satyrs are the half-elves of equestria
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>>30656128
>Not remembering that zecora was fear and pushed away until the literal princess of friendship had to convince her friends and the rest of the town that she was harmless.
Man its like you don't even watch the show.
>>
>>30656143
Many writers in the old days used Bridle Gossip as a frame of reference without fully understanding why Zecora was feared, and just assumed her being a non-pony was the main reason behind the xenophobia. But the title of the episode gave it away. She lived in the Everfree which was established, and at this point in the show still fully treated as, a mysterious, unpredictable, and dangerous place that most ponies never returned from. They assumed this illusive zebra was as monstrous as the creatures that called the place home. After all, how else would she survive? Someone with the power to regularly deal with monsters would also be dangerous to the general populace. These wild rumors and her isolation, which also allowed gossip to spread unchecked, that was the main drive behind their fear. Being a non-pony only served to fuel those rumors after a collective image of her was established. Funnily enough, only the educated one, Twilight, even knew she was a completely separate species to start, and not just a weird pony. Many also say if a zebra was enough to trigger ponies then something more foreign would spook them even more. They're forgetting something big here. Folks are more afraid and hateful of folks who are almost like them, but not quite in a few key areas. Something that isn't presumptuously trying to be like you, and is all wrong from the start, doesn't cause the same reaction. Ponies should be non-striped, normal ponies while aliens should be alien. Ponies were also way less afraid of Iron Will, even though Fluttershy was the only one who (or her friends were just disrespectful) knew what he was. Pinkie "Evil Enchantress" Pie even yelled at him.
>>
>>30656143
>comparing zecora, a weird nigger that comes into town covered by a cape, hits the ground and leave right after without saying anything while Pinkie was bullshitting the whole and creating a movement of panic, to a being that will be born in a pone hospital, by pone doctors and certainly will receive the blessings of some of the princesses, if not all of them, for being a new specie with pone blood blablabla
Okay, so again, you should rewatch bridle gossip and tell me how this scenario comes even close to it

>>30656142
Oh you're right, and those animals smells nice amirite
>>
>>30656085
It is contrived, it's just some dude with a never ending hateboner.
>>
>>30656171
Another take away from Bridle Gossip is that if Ponyville is somehow actually really xenophobic *cough*donkeys*cough* then you'd still be well off in places like Canterlot, Manehattan, or any place with more worldly and educated folks. After all, Twilight had no problem with Zecora, knew what she was, and pretty much laughed off the rumors before the poison joke.
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>>30656102
VERY cute
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>>30656172
>and those animals smells nice amirite
i think so, but then again im a guy that appreciates natural musk.
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>>30656067
>interdimensional and interspecies couple somehow reproduce beyond all reason
>child doesn't have any other health problems
>but sterile
>y'know, for reasons
>>
>>30656289
see
>>30656173
>>
>>30656032
>>30656181
So I've discovered that Hope is the daughter of Lyra and a self-insert Anon.

*unzips dick* well, I'm about to go full hillbilly on my self-insert daughter.
>>
>>30656326
>>30600231
>>
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>>30656326
She could be some other Anon's daughter. Besides, I'm more interested in having a big family with Flutterbutter.
>>
I need it
>>
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POST

M
O
R
E
>>
>>30656136
That's why you teach your kids to punch bullies in their fat fucking faces until they cry.
>>
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>>30652963
>There are people around here who post things like this unironically.
kek
Your life must be really, really sad.
>>
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>>30652963
>when you realize this sentiment can be applied to real life too
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>>30653007
Shit man are you ok?
>>
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>>30653007
I'll see you there anon.
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>>30654570
Step 1: fuck around with Discord causing chaos for shits and giggles until he's you friend.

Step 2: You now have a literal capital G God as a friend, have fun.
>>
>>30652963
I want to fuck a foal into my waifu so badly.
>>
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>>30657622
>>
rib
>>
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I'm going there to conquer and destroy because such a perfect place has no right to exist.
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>>30659721
This is why you will not ever go.
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>Join the royal guard
>Enemies of equestria refer to me as celestia's pet monster
>Keep fighting until too old
>Become one of Celestia's advisors
>Don't find true love
>Don't care
>At least i had a purpose
>Unlike on earth
>>
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>>30659757
>At least i had a purpose
>Unlike on earth
I feel it Anon.
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>>30652963
Children are fucking annoying, even pony ones. I would totally fug a pony though.
>>
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>>30659757
>you will never die in battle fighting mythological beasts and dark creatures
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>>30656341
This, but firepon instead. I want to field a luckswing team.
>>
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>>30659757
>>30659779
>>30659803
Technically that would have been your and many of our purpose in previous eras.
We're the type that just want to meet a nice girl, settle down and have a family.
The type that dont have any special skills, no passions, no part in some divine plan.
The henchman, the footsoldier, the thief, the sailor, the blacksmith, the baker, the pirate, the servant, et cetera.
Those anonymous people all throughout history who were born, lived and died without achieving greatness or becoming even a footnote in history.
The simple folk, wanting a simple life in a simple world that's grown so complex.
We're lucky, in comparison.
We live in a world with so many oppotunities, so many basic technologies and advancements that to those even a mere 300 years ago, we are akin to gods.
Except the difference is that they Lived.
While for all our niceties, all of our modern comfots, we are merely alive.
We're soldiers without a war, patriots without a home, servants without a master, a key without a lock.
Our souls are here, fractured, but unbroken, crying out for balm and rest, our only solace being that which we stubbornly carve from a world we're simply not fit for, our comfort only that which we find with each other.
>>
>>30660426
TL;DR
>>
it is kill

why
>>
>>30660426
>Our souls are here, fractured, but unbroken, crying out for balm and rest, our only solace being that which we stubbornly carve from a world we're simply not fit for, our comfort only that which we find with each other.
Very biblical.
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>>30659757
>>
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>>30659757
>>30661475
>you will never
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>>30661492
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>>30661475

*chews tobacco*
>>
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>>30656326
My man. Daughterus are for breeding, and no man can protect her smile like good ol' Dad.
>>
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>>30659757
Ready to sign up for the Guard as well.
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>>30652963
Now I know why 4chan is bad place I should have listen to my big brother
>>
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>>30661670
ok
>>
>>30652963
>there's probably no such thing as a conscious afterlife
>the only way you'd get to equestria is through a lifelike coma
>actually dying in the real world would cause you to die in your coma world as well
how would we go about creating a facility where we can be put into a coma forever, without someone pulling the plug on us?
>>
>>30661670

You better never come back here, youngster.
You must listen to me, if you want to correct your mistake.
>>
>>30661619
you have a containment board.
>>
>>30661670

YOU HEAR ME?!
NEVER AGAIN.
>>
>>30659882
Here.

>>30662220
Complain Anon pls, your hate boner is flaccid and impotent. Just give it up, you've been screeching for over 2 years now. >>30656173
>>
>>30662159
advertise it as dreamland, get it funded by rich people who want their nearly-dead elders to live as well as possible
>>
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>>30661475
>>30659757
>>30661492
>>30661519
>>30661549
>>30661661
My brothers.
My friends.
>>
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>>30659757
> Many of equestrian natives did not understand the humans
> They did not want gold
> They did not want power
> They simply wanted a cause worth fighting for
> Celestia gave them that cause
> That is why the humans even to this day fiercely defend equestria
> Their devotion to the princess that gave them a reason to live
> Something worth living for
>>
GOTCHU NIGGAS
>>
Warfags go larp in your own shitty thread.
>>
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>>30664171
>He doesnt want to serve in the equestrian guard for a few years and learn valuable life skills before coming home to a loving wife, starting or joining a small business and living the rest of his days in a quaint little town.
>>
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>>30664816
>He would rather go back home to his wife and child than abandon them again to continue a life of crusading that would eventually lead to either insanity or death.
>>
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>>30662289
Such a sweet big sis.
>>
>>30664816
>serve in the equestrian guard for a few years
Did you miss the part where all you do is stand around all day but when shit actually goes down it's so much above your level that you're practically useless? Also enjoy all the good waifus being already taken once you decide to enter the market.

Or you could just want to suck off stallion cocks in the locker room.
>>
>>30664974
>All the good waifus being taken.

>Implying your childhood sweetheart wont wait faithfully for your return.
If we're going wish fufillment, i'm going the full fucking way.
>>
>>30661619
>Breeding your own child
Fetishfags like you killed the satyr general.
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>>30665473
ok
>>
SURVIIIIIIIVE
>>
>>30665473
Fucking this.
>>
what I hate about satyrs is that they aren't my children, so I really do not care about them at all.
They're literally just OC's that draw inspiration from a pony, and that also has a human torso.
>>
>>30667884
You've just gotta get in the right mindset.
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>>30663004
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>>30667950
>He cant form a bond with his hypothetical child unless they're the same species.
>>
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>>30661670
If you really are my younger sibling, I guess I never warned you quite enough about how corruptable this place is.
/g/ may be more your thing. Just don't let the whole bread and circus take over your life.
The constant refreshing of threads and the catalog, waiting for new and possibly entertaining posts, can act like a Skinner's box.
Skinner's boxes are addictive.
Also, I found your dildo. I thought it was a dog chew toy, at first.
>>
>>30668036
yes
thats usually how it works

for any species
>>
>>30668171
Never owned a puppy, I take?
>>
>>30659757
>>30660426
>born too late to have the simple life
>born too early to have a complex life worth living
Don't you faggots give me this feel right now. We'll be with them one day.
>>
>>30668200
>comparing owning a dumbass pet to a fucking child
Do the world a favor and kill yourself.
>>
CEASE BEING OF THE KILL
>>
>>30670330
Do you legitimately care about the familoo, Anon? Or are you just waiting on the clops?
>>
Short reminder that you will end as a pony in equestria not as a human.
>>
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>>30670803
GIMME
>>
>>30671019
Not him, but legit, what is it you prefer?
>>
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>>30671027
Both the impregnating AND the family feels.

>not wanting to take care of your waifu as she grows your children
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>>30671041
Would be cute, yeah.
>>
>>30652963
>What are Chromosomes
>How do Genes and DNA even exist, just close your eyes nigga
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>>30671179
hmm
>>30654393
>>
>>30652963
When your baby pops out its first words would be "kill me".
>>
>>30667884
What >>30667950 said.
>>
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which girl would you breed and why

fluttershy because shes got the perfect temperament and personality to be a mother
>>
>>30671486
Twi because she's my waifu and I love her.
>>
>>30660426
Nigga you gay
>>
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>>30671511
how many foals anon

this is important
>>
>>30663004
Not until the humans find out they can overthrow her and make Equestria something more and have more then just a purpose of fighting like evolution.
>>
>>30671486
Fluttershy for the same reasons that she's caring, loving, responsible, and a mother that can raise a child and also because I love her.
>>
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>>30671517
Also forgot pic.
This way if anyone tries to fight back or invade they get infected.
>>
>>30671516
At least 4, no more than 8
>>
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>>30671553
good numbers

id aim for around 7 or 8 myself
>>
>>30652963
You can't have children with a stallion, you stupid faggot.
>>
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>>30671569
>>
>>30652963
>Implying I wouldn't be a chaotic prankster thief with my eldritch shape shifting yandere waifu and have fun making, both good and bad creatures of Equestria be miserable equally
>>
>>30671019
K.

>be DadAnon in Equestria
>that, still takes some getting used to
>but as the noble patriarch of the family, you must persevere
>in particular, the attendance to your 'nightly duties'
>the ones that make Spitfire's day
>strolling in to the bedroom with your head held high, you offer a knowing smile
"Alright Allie, time for bed."
>a childish 'buf' of exhaustion and reluctance reaches your ears
>peeling back the curtains of the pillow fort, you see the well kept pale-yellow tail of your daughter peeking out from under a pile of sheets
>seems a little coaxing is in order
"Allie."
>the blanket twitches
"Alerion, come on; it's bedtime."
>"'m in bed."
>ah, the throaty response of a willful child
>reaching in, you pull the blanket further down
>a breathy squeal quickly meets your ears, only encouraging you to hold fast to your task
>you're quickly met with a tremendous amount of wiggling as your youngest daughter tries to make up lost ground, but to no avail
>within seconds, the blanket is outside the fort, held tight in your tyrannical clutches
>putting on your smoothest, most charming, slimeist smile, your tongue slithers out
"Now, Allie, if you'd be so kind..."
>peeking out from between the sheets around the fort, your bright eyed daughter declares
>"Never!"
>Such a poor choice of word
>you'll make sure she regrets them
>casting the blanket aside with a sweep of your hand, you declare
"So be it. Go forth, my mini minions!"
>Allie's eyes widen as the thunder of approaching hooves reaches an almost immediate crescendo!
>with a whoop and a cheer, the twin terrors tromp through the scene; dark headed, with great hunger for chaos and destruction burning in their eyes
>Allie squeals in terror as her bothersome brothers barrage her pillow fort with their relentless pushing, shoving, grabbing and groping
>>
>>30672781
>all the while you cackle, quite pleased with the scene, until the post-pillow gives way, sending the entire structure into collapse
>successfully 'trapped' your daughter's laugh rings out as she squirms to freedom
>the toddler terrors are equally amused, bouncing in delight and laughing along
>so it is that the four of you end up back in Rocket and Ratchet's bedroom for a goodnight story
>once the dynamic duo have passed out, you carry the still sleepy Allie back to her bedroom
>as you're tucking her in for the night, she gives you a smug smile
>"You know tomorrow's fort is going to be better, right Poppa?"
>you grin and plant a wet smooch on her forehead
"I suppose it will. Maybe one day it will be strong enough to keep me from putting you to bed."
>Allie nods, yawning loudly as she sinks deeper into the sheets
>"Yeah, someday."
>you remain by her bed until she starts to drift off, then quietly leave the room
>sneaking in to your own bed, you slide in behind your spouse and bury your face in her mane
>the former Wonderbolt barely stirs, but still manages to mumble
>"Kids' asleep?"
"Yup."
>you hold her close from behind, feeling the ache of middle age creeping into your tired body
>the mane around your face shifts slightly to the side, Spitfire's cinnamon eyes meeting yours
>"Ace and Hotshot won't be back until late. Wanna do it?"
>aches be gone!
>through sheer force of will, you summon up a dark chuckle
"I've been waiting all day for that question."
>as you roll over on top of your laughing wife, you wonder, not for the first or last time, how on earth did you get so lucky?
>>
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>>30672781
>>30672785
buf, out of practice. Hope that's OK.
>>
>>30672785
Cute.
Repost in /sat/ pls.

Is Alerion a new one, or just one I forgot about?
>>
>>30672802
New-ish. She's been a redshirt for ages because /sat/ doesn't like me adding to the family. But her concept's three or four years back.
>>
>>30672824
>/sat/ doesn't like me adding to the family
wow, fucking hypocrites
>>
>>30672824
Don't even recall her, honestly. And I've been around forever.
Maybe it's time to try again?
>>
>>30672824
I don't remember her at all.
>>
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>>30652963
>>
>>30663004
Write it
>>
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>>30672785
Yes, yes I love it.

I remember you, I love your Spitfire shorts.
>>
>>30667884
What I hate is the extremely autistic things that gets made there sometimes.
>>
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>>30673749
Shh. I'm just passing by and saw a need for cute satyrs doing cute things with their dad.
>>
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>>30652963
I just want to see her smile.
>>
>>30674641
does that mean no more
>>
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>>30675250
Feels weird to write satyr again. Maybe. Maybe not.
>>
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I'm just unable to find satyr's cute.
They're literally just random humans with hooves and tails that match whichever pony is the mom.
The idea of a pony mom giving birth to that kind of chimera also stretches disbelief, since if that kind of human/pony hybrid were possible, so would most other combinations of horse and human body parts beyond the stereotypical.
Even taking into account "magic ensures hybrid is healthy", it leaves the possibility of an entirely human body but with a pony head (among other horrors), and subjecting any of my potential kids to even the sheer possibility of that is a level of irresponsibility that should preclude me from fatherhood entirely.
And thats without getting into any possible complications in birth that a mixed species would bring, again touching on irresponsibility.
It stretches less belief to have any children be the same species as their mother, is all i'm saying.
>>
>>30675374
Reminder that griffins, minotaurs, chimera, centaurs and now hippogriffs are canon.
>>
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>>30675408
Alright, we'll play that game.
Do you know what isnt canon?
Satyr.
And as we're going with canon, ponies use standard mammalian reproduction.
This means, even with magic, there are limits to what can be accomplished, ESPECIALLY for the bread and butter unicorns who only get their special talant and basic levitation.
Hybrids dont just appear overnight between two completely different species deciding to get it on.
It takes multiple generations with minor differences each time before a completely new species emerges.
Maybe your kid has slightly shorter fur, a more rounded muzzle.
Maybe their kid is able to stand on their hind legs more comfortably.
And so on and so forth until one day a foal is born with almost no fucking fur and the parents freak out.
IF said abomination is able to breed, eventually you'd have satyr.
Naturally, this goes out the window in cases of elder gods deciding to dick about, quite possibly literally, but the only one around that we know about capable of something on that sort of scale is Discord, and while a chimera is something i totally see him doing, again quite possibly literally, the other races are far too orderly to be his style.

In conclusion, satyr a shit but i guess people can like what i dont like.
>>
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>>30660426
This 100%
Saved
>>
I WILL SURVIIIIIIIIIIVE
>>
Hey many of you guys will be at bronycon? I can say for certian there will be a grand ol satyrical red pilling that occurs out of someone.
>>
>>30677202
>I can say for certian there will be a grand ol satyrical red pilling that occurs out of someone.
What?
>>
i will keep it living
>>
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>>30677688
God's work.
>>
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>>30660426
God damnit man, I didn't ask for this. I just want to be a simple man with a simple life in a simple community, yet I find myself in one of the most complex industries depressing more and more every day.

I just want to live in Ponyville. A simple life, in a simple town. It's all so tiresome.
>>
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>>30677736
So very tiresome.
>>
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>>30677736
>>30677823
Imagine how enjoyable and carefree life in Equestria would be.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvkosRv_4-Y
>>
>>30677841
We'll wake up from this nightmare reality one day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82prN2pF9Zo
>>
Threadly reminder to hold on to hope.
>>
>>30677907
yeah thats bullshit
>>
>>30677841
>Carefree
>Monsters and maniacal unicorns attacking every so often

>>30677907
Fuck, not you again.
>>
>>30656174
Actually considering the welcome Cranky got not just from Pinkie in particular AND the fact that Matilda was a respected citizen by the time of his arrivel Since Ponk DID find Matilda in Ponyville. there doesn't really seem to be any sort of xenophobia against donkeys at least.
>>
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bemp
>>
>>30675749
You know what also isn't canon in Equestria?
Humans.
If you don't like to use your imagination one single bit, then why the fuck are you even in this thread?
>>
>>30678516
>monsters
>maniacal unicorns
>actual threats in Equestria
>>
SAFE
>>
I think it's dead famalams.
>>
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>>30681867
Only if you're a bad dadfu. Protect.
>>
>>30681927
no
it is kill
>>
>>30654480
He's right though
The chance for you to wander and discover the unexplored lands of Earth is long gone. But Equestria and the lands beyond it are still things of mystery and intrigue. Never squander a chance like that, when one day it will have passed and never be available, to anyone, ever again.
>>
>>30682740
Well you'll just send me a card when you get there telling me where you want to be buried alright?
Meanwhile I'll keep on breeding my horsewife and living a simple, happy life in horseland
>>
>>30682760
Better.
Travel around a bit, breed a few exotic ladies, then settle down on a nice, quiet homestead to raise your kids.
>>
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it is time
>>
>>30683048
And that's how Dawn was born.
>>
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>plebs who don't even dream of a homestead with their family
>>
>>30682760
enjoy your life of mediocrity while explorers who discover new lands live forever
>>
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>>30683053
Nice.

>>30683228
What about a castle?
>>
>>30683324
I will, thank you.
Why do people always think mediocre is a bad thing?
>>
>>30652963
if you don't want to go to Equestria you dont belong on /mlp
>>
>>30683501
How could such a perfect world be made, only to be denied to us because of reality? Is this a cruel joke?
>>
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>>30683228
Right?
>>
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>>30683478
Would you raise her to be humble and appreciative for all she was blessed with?
>>
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>>30684791
Of course.
>>
>>30652963
What if I want to go to EQG and make non hybrid babies?
Fluttershy seems to be a good mother and wife in that universe more so then her pony counter part who's always off with her friends.
>>
>>30685913
kill urself
>>
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>>30652963
>children
I can barely take care of myself you stupid faggot
>>
>>30686055
>"I can barely take care of myself"
>"You stupid"
Anon...
>>
>>30686090
>ellipses
you can always go back if you find things here to be """problematic""", xe/xir.
>>
>>30686103
It's good to know even a gender traditionalist who feels women are generally better off deferring to their father or husband because women are more prone to emotional thinking and short term planning can still be an SJW now. Just gotta use some ellipses.
>>
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>>30653007
D-dude we're here for you.
>>
>>30652963
Preggos are ugly and children are garbage. Have a good day.
>>
>>30654467
>>30654480
>Approach pony and confess your feelings to her
>Get resoundingly rejected just like real life
Welp, guess I'll just go exploring until something eats me.
>Fuck this gay earth
>And that one too
>Fuck them both
>>
>>30686341
k
you can fuck off now
>>
>>30682795
>Monster shit
This isn't the strange waifu thread.
>>
>>30686358
You'd have to be one special piece of shit to not be able to find a cute mare that would be okay with you desu
Even discord found one
Just gotta try harder and stop focusing on our world class super heroes
>>
>>30686605
Hi Complain Anon!
How's your afternoon? Still feels like morning, huh?
>>
>>30682740
>>30682760
Why not go on an adventure and explore together with your ponywife and kid?
>>
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>>30686619
>There are people here that would pass up a qt mare just because they got rejected by the first mare that caught their eye.
Thats sad, and not even in the mocking way, that's legitimately depressing.
All mares are cute and deserving of love.
And though i dont believe it for myself, apparently so are we.
>>
>>30652963
Wouldn't male offspring with a Pegasus be the ultimate combination in ponyville ?
The upper strength of a man combined with powerful haunches and the ability of flight. You could create Your Own mercenary group really.
>>
>>30686623
He has a point, you know. This is not a Monster general. Would appreciate it if you kept that thing in /trash/ or wherever it came from.
>>
>>30686683
>go into the unknown with your wife and kid
Are you seriously considering bringing your loved ones, and a kid that certainly won't be able to defend itself, along to explore a world you know literally nothing about and filled with creatures dozens of times your size?
I mean, you can do it if you want, idc, not my problem
I guess you can call it natural selection
>>
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>>30686807
nice try nigger
>>
>>30652963
Is this picture from a WikiHow article?
>>
>>30686935
What if your loved one was Daring Do? Think she'd want to retire permanently?
>>
>>30688377
Yes, I believe she'd understand that her 'adventure' will have to wait for a while the moment she realizes she's pregnant/decides to have a kid, Anon
It happens in movies and in books, sure, but in real life you don't just bring your fucking kid along to explore shit, especially if we're talking about a world you don't know shit about and knowing that you're clearly not on the top of the food chain, rather, you're on the lower side of it

Again, you can do it if you want, I don't care, it's the life of your kid you're playing with
>>
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>>30686718
>And though i dont believe it for myself, apparently so are we.
With the values ponies have I believe any of us could find a pony we'd be able to make happy. They are all cute and beautiful (both the looks and in character), and most of them don't seem to have much needs or unrealistic ambitions so just by being a decent human being you already have a chance of a life worth of happiness together with a cute humble mare. Maybe it wouldn't be one of the M6 but does that really matter if you have a chance to find peace and be content with your life with someone who would appreciate you for what you are?
>>
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I'd do anything to have a foal with this mare.
>>
>>30688765
My self worth is nonexistant, even though i rationally acknowledge i have decent qualities and am working on self improvement, its hard to move past decades of feeling like a shadow.
>>
>>30690679
I know, anon, it's hard. It took me years to actually allow myself to feel happy. Creating something really helps with that. If you're genuine and others like it, it boosts your confidence like nothing else. But the road there is long, so you better start now. Believe me, it's worth it.
>>
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>>30690706
I know it's worth it, i've read enough books and heard enough stories that to think otherwise would be downright silly.
But there's a difference between knowing something and actually knowing it.
Like i said though, working on it, hopefully i'll start considering myself worthy of a companion one of these days.
>>
>>30686050
Okay I will.
>>
>>30659757
>Enemies of equestria refer to me as celestia's pet monster
I didn't even know I wanted this...
>>
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>>30691937
I believe in you, anon. Even by trying to be better you already show that you care. That alone is worth at least something. Don't give up on yourself and best of luck to you.
>>
fug
>>
Safety bamp
>>
FLATLINING
>>
>>30669086
>He's never raised a puppy from an infant into a well meaning contributing member of society
kek
>>
>>30686103
>I'm afraid of grammar
>>
>>30695523
FUCK GRAMMAR
>>
>>30670888
If I remember my past life I'll just pay a skilled enough unicorn to transform me back into a human.
>>
>>30671237
I'll take "things that are not canon" for $500
>>
>>30695806
Prove that the movies are canon, and not AU
>>
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It'll kill me someday
>>
>>30695795
>>30695963
>durr magic is not canon
>It's only canon if it's something I like
You must be really fun to have at parties.
>>
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>>30696231
i know that feel
>>
I just want to live a quiet life in Ponyville and have some friends.
>>
>>30697395
Me too, bro. The world is getting worse and more insane every day. Take me to Equestria.
>>
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>>30697409
Damn do I love beautiful pics like this.
>>
>>30697452
Yeah, Devinian is a really talented artist, has some great stuff. Not enough Equestrian landscape art if you ask me.

New /ELAOWF/ thread when?
>>
kill
>>
Wow dead
>>
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>>30678516

>Fuck, not you again
What are you, a pessimist faggot?
Have some faith, anon.
>>
FUCK YOU GUYS
>>
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I want to cum inside.
>>
>>30697395
>and a wife and foals
Right?
>>
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>>30702822
BUT OF COURSE
>>
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>>30702822
>>30703100
Domestic abuse when?
>>
>>30703119
Never, scum.
>>
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>>30703119
Now.
>>
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>>30703119
>>30703199
kys
>>
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>>30703273
I want to get drunk and hit her, i would love to see the look on her face.
>>
>>30701255
we all do
>>
>>30652963
That would be ideal but wouldn't be my main motive for being there. It's an expansive colorful world filled with interesting characters, I'd prefer to live life first and foremost.
>implying 80% of the fuckers on this board including OP aren't ugly and smelly fucks who would scare away any pony they see
>waaah this is my dream if you don't want to do it you don't deserve to go to horseland
Nice borderline bait, OP. Also, this shit should stay in /pgr/
>>
>>30703286
It's a really weird feeling, satisfiying and hilarious at the same time. Just hit her once and watch her expression. Fucking goldmine.
>>
hol up
>>
>>30703286
I can tell you from personal experience, getting drunk and just giving a bitch one good shot is the most satisfying feeling in the world.
>>
>>30703416
>I'd prefer to live life first and foremost.
Having a wonderful family that you love and who love you in return is living life.
What else could possibly even compete?
>>
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>>30703119
>>30703199
>>30703286
>>30703730
>>30705015
>ITT: 12 year olds
(you)
>>
>>30706906
There are boys who think it'd be funny to punch his girl in the face just to see her expression, and men who want to have a daughteru with her just so he can protect her smile.
>>
>>30652963
Every time I see this post it makes me want to rub a pregnant Lyra belly. So fuzzy and happy and full of promise.
>>
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>>30707068
I imagine a pregnant Lyra would be even bubblier and happier than normal. You'd have to keep holding her down and calming her so she doesn't hop or move around too much and jostle the baby.
>>
>>30707068
>tfw no preggo waifu belly to rub
>>
>>30707575
>Tree Hugger going clean for 11 months for the foal's sake
Unlikely, but intriguing.
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I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/


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