worst greentext adventure

>>30592449
"10/10 better than the rulefags." -Anon

>>30592449
>noine months later
>big mac?
>yeah twilight
>I don't know how to tell you this: but well, I don't really... use magic when I have sex?
>Oh shit
>Let me just say this: I am excited, and I am scarred, and I want to be with you.
>Twilight??
>Yes big mac.
>I would be honored.

>>30592455
>so hey... do you wanna, catch a movie?
>sure, after I get off my shift, I still have a half acre left to buck, and then it's the cider barrel for me, then we'll see a movie.
>Big mac...
>I love you to sugar cube.
>Love ya' bye.

>>30592449
You're thinking of fanfictions on FImfiction, not Greentext.
Replace Mac with Anon.

>>30592462
Twilight and big mac go see some chick flick made by the cutie mark crusaders. It was a b-rate film, but with help from twilight and a few friends they actually made a legit romantic comedy...
>so, are you Christian?
>catholic, and wow you get straight to the point don't you?
>Imma a traditional man twilight, we've been dating for 8 months now, I figured I should ask you somehow.
>don't get started with that traditional bullcrap, or you would've waited till marriage to have a mac jr!
>O.k. O.k. point taken...
>does aj even know I've been going out with you?
>yeah, of course, she just doesn't mind, she wants me to get a girl, figured it was a good shot with you.
>sigh...I'm sorry, it's just the hormones you know?

>>30592481
>You've stayed remarkably thin during pregnancy, I'm slightly worried...
>No, no... rarity know how to make it work
>why would you keep this from me?
>I was... afraid.
>That I'd leave you?
>Yup
>hey that's my line!
>this movie is insanely good for middle schoolers...
>I actually am the camera man.
>oh wow. good work.

>>30592496
the earth pony is born, his name is fuccboi McGee, aka carl.
>awww.... he's so cute
>Yup
>I wanna just eat him up... hey lil' buddy? I'm your auntie aj!
>and I'm you aunt applebloom!
>hun?
>go away, I'm tired.
>your so funny...
>twilight falls asleep.

>>30592507
>the wedding was small but there was lots of cider and a good dj so everyone stayed a while.
>1year later
>I said, I wanna wait to sell the castle, it'll have more market value.
>I just want to move out of this town, it's not you
>sigh... I know it's so overpopulated here, it's all because of me.
>mama! look: I made this for you!
>huh? awww... that's cute car, I love it.
>we'll make it...we can wait a few more months, it's not your fault everyone moved here, you're just doing your job...
>you're right, you're right.

>>30592518
>cadence? hey... it's twilight, no nothin' much, I was wondering if I could ask you a favor, see me and big mac were invited to this art show...

>>30592527
>sure, he can come over! flurry would love to see him!
l8er_
>hey! I'm flurryheart, but you can call me blur.
>my name's carl, but you can call me boi.
>you're funny, hey, wanna fly?
>hell yeah!
cadence starts sweating like a lake
>hey guys, maybe we shouldn't do that.. let's um... you guys should go play at the park! but no flying: earth ponies can't fly flurry...
>but why not?
>they don't have wings.
>but unicorns can fly.
>yes, but... they have horns.
>so why can't car fly?
>because he doesn't have wongs, and doesn't have a horn, and doesn't ha've a freaking weather balloon o.k.?
>car and flurry build a giant balloon from magic at the park...
>they fly around the park while cadence tries to catch them

>>30592564
a little bit more l8er_
>sweetie belle, do you ever just think we'd be better off without school.
>Rarity told me, that school is school, and learning is no laughing matter.
>scootaloo:my parents never told me that... they never told me anything.
>oh... kay...then?
>I'm sorry,
>hey, you know what? you have a good parents: well, not biologically, but they're good.
>I know.. I'm grateful for dash and spit taking me in.

>>30592588
>listen, scoots, I know how that feels. shoot. I'm still messed up bout' how my parents went. let us help you out. all we need to do is find out from the records at the social security office, then you can meet at least one of them probably ya' biological motha' or fatha' but be warned: you might not like what you see...
>i'm in,I need resolution here.
the gang went to the office, with an 'adult' (apple bloom with high heels and makeup on) and went to the old address of her parent, then the new address after asking the land lorde a few questions and a quick search, and low and behold scootaloos biological father:

his coat was green, but looked as if it hadn't been washed in days, and his mark had a plain, black question mark on it. smoking outside the house, and drinking loads of alcohol he sat,
>wow... I don't even know if I should talk to him

scootaloo walked up to the colt:
"excuse me, sir?"
>what the fuck do you want kid?
"I was just wondering, are you the one they call anon?"
>"well, yes. depending on who I'm talking to..."
>Oh... well, um I am uh, just part of a landscaping company, and was wondering if you needed work, are you employed?
>Fuck no, I just got laid off... damn filthy griffons fault, I usedto be famous you know? kid lemme tell ya: fame will fuck you up, big time, never get famous. I see ya friends over there they look like nice people, stay with then, and... just don't get famous... actually I might take your position, do you have an application?
>"um...yes, sure... let me go get it."

scootaloo left, happy she never lived with her actual parent:
-anon.

>>30592890
that was it.

I want Fuccboi McGee aka Carl Apple Sparkle to cum inside Flurryheart.

>>30592927
oh my god that made me laugh so hard holy crap...

File: 1483160331457.gif (31KB, 417x290px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 417x290px

>Ponk: Hi, I're Ponk, who is u?
>Dosh: me is Dosh
>Ponk: No, ou an cunt.

The End.

>>30592449
>hey anon!
>no
The end.

>>30593616
this is unironically the best story...

Hey I made a good green once https://pastebin.com/MbnguJXi
I'm trying to become better xd

>>30593619
No, that would be...
>Anon: Hey [pony]!
>[Pony]: no

>>30593631
pretty good. if you didn't know the real story is posts 2-9/

>>30592449
I laughed.

File: 56492658.jpg (22KB, 377x264px)

22KB, 377x264px

>>30592507
>his name is Fuccboi McGee, aka Carl
MOTHER OF KEK

>>30592455

>>30592449
do you expect us to say:
"still a better love story than ... twilight ... , oh wait!?"

>>30597275
fag