Princess Celestia Thread

>It's your first day on watch as a newly recruited member of the Canterlot Royal Guard.
>And it is high summer.
>And you swear you've sweated off five pounds in this armor already.
>And you still have six more hours on watch.
>Thankfully it's been a quiet day at least.
>You try not to dwell on that thought too much.
>Because it's like baiting the devil.
>Just when you think it's going to be a quiet, boring watch, something crazy happens.
>And sure enough...
>With a blare of her ceremonial horn, a royal Herald announces the arrival of Princess Celestia herself in the forecourt.
*sweating intensifies*
>You have never been this close to Her Royal Highness before.
>You snap to attention, trying your best to appear the professional soldier you hope to be.
>"Goodness, it is hot out here isn't it? It's days like this I wish I could control the seasons as well as the sun."
>You feel her gaze as she surveys the guards at their posts.
>"Right. Come on, everypony."
>As the Princess walks into the courtyard, the Corporal of the Guard bellows, in his best parade-ground voice, "DETAIL! FALL IN!"
>Obediently, you take your place in the protective cordon that forms around the Princess.
>As you approach the gate, the Herald sounds her ceremonial horn again.
>Princess Celestia's horn glows, and the instrument is pulled out of her grasp and deposited neatly in the guardhouse.
>"You won't be needing that, thanks."
>The Herald appears momentarily flustered, but recovers quickly and calls in a clear voice, "MAKE WAY FOR THE PRINCESS!"
>"Oh, hush! Can't we just go for a short walk without all that noise?"
>The Herald actually blushes, and you decide to risk a glance at the Princess.
>She is smiling with gentle good humor.
>The street outside is not crowded, probably because of the midday heat.
>Most of the citizens have gone indoors to escape the muggy midsummer day.
>The few that remain obligingly clear the road and bow without being asked.

>>30530979

>The few that remain obligingly clear the road and bow without being asked.
>Princess Celestia keeps up her easy pace, exchanging greetings with some of the ponies who line the street.
>You tense up as you notice a small foal approaching.
>"Princess Celestia, do you think it will rain soon? The flowers are wilting."
>You move to place yourself between the child and your royal charge, but a large white wingtip stops you.
>Princess Celestia favors the child with a kindly smile.
>"You're right, it has been too long since they have had some water. I think I shall see if the weather ponies can arrange a refreshing shower this afternoon."
>The little pony's face lights up. "Oh, thank you, Princess Celestia!"
>With a gracious nod, the Princess resumes her walk, the well trained guards falling in immediately.
>You are amazed at the cheek that little foal showed.
>And even more amazed that the Princess treated it so courteously, as a serious petition.
>"Here we are!" the Princess calls, going inside a small shop.
>An ice cream shop.
>"Ah, Princess," a voice inside calls, "how marvelous to see you again!"
>You dutifully take your station outside the door, as you had been trained, along with the rest of the royal guards.
>"Good afternoon, Triple Scoop. The usual, if you please."
>"Of course!"
>Ice cream. Of course.
>Well, you could hardly blame her in this weather.
>You snap to attention again as the Princess sticks her head out of the door.
>"Well? What are you waiting for? Inside, all of you!"
>The Corporal and the Herald look at one-another, shrug, and enter the shop.
>The other members of the guard follow, as your jaw connects with the pavement.
>"Come on, rook," one of the other guards tells you, "a royal order is a royal order."
>You swallow nervously and enter the shop, immediately relishing the cooler air within.
>One of the shop ponies comes out of the back, bearing a tray filled with sundaes, which she proceeds to serve out to each of the guards.

>>30530986

>When the guards all have sundaes, the shop owner places a banana split in front of the Princess with a flourish.
>"There you are! I made it myself, just how you like it Princess."
>The princess lifts a spoon with her magic and takes a small scoop.
>"Delightful as always, Triple Scoop!"
>As if on signal, the other guards tuck in to their sundaes.
>"If you or your guards need anything else, just let us know!"
>The princess takes another bite.
>You can't really believe what you're seeing.
>Your sundae untouched, you keep glancing into the street, sure that some miscreant will take advantage of the situation.
>Turning your attention back to the shop, you find that the Princess has moved, and is now sitting at your table, across from you, with her banana split.
*sweating intensifies some more*
>Never mind that she apparently crossed the shop without you noticing or even hearing it.
>This is the Ruler of all Equestria, eye-to-eye, with you.
>"You're new to my guards, aren't you?"
>After a hard swallow to get your heart from your throat back into your chest where it belongs, you manage to stammer out an answer.
"Y-yes, Your Highness."
>She smiles warmly at you.
>"I can always tell." she takes another bite of her banana split.
>"You should probably eat that before it melts," she says, indicating your sundae.
>Talk about feeling self-conscious.
>You try not to wilt under her gentle gaze as you hesitantly pick up your spoon with your horn, dip it in, and transfer the ice cream to your mouth.
>She smiles as she sees you enjoy the cold, creamy goodness.
>"Where are you from?"
"Er, Baltimare, Your Highness."
>"The shining gateway to the lands beyond the seas," the Princess remarks.
>You can't help but smile as she recites the city's motto.
>"It has been a while since we visited. I shall ensure that you are included in my retinue when next I go there."
"Thank you, Your Highness,"

>>30530989

>To your surprise, she giggles a little at this.
>"Oh, relax a little.”
>The Princess takes another bite of her ice cream.
>"Ice cream really is the best on hot days like this, isn't it?"
>You nod, taking another bite of your sundae.
>The Princess leans in close to you, whispering almost conspiratorially.
>"And this does make a nice change from that stuffy castle. I so enjoy spending time with my ponies, just alike any other pony."
>She finishes with a wink and returns to her banana split.
>Just like any other pony.
>Who is centuries old and can control the heavens.
>For the next hour, Princess Celestia engages in quiet conversation over ice cream with various members of her guard.
>This one is an expectant parent.
>That one spends his spare time gardening.
>And you, the new kid from Baltimare.
>Then she returns, almost reluctantly, to her official duties, as you return to yours.
>It's still blazing hot out, but true to her word, a short, refreshing shower breaks in the afternoon.
>This has been a heck of a first day on the job.
>But as you turn over the watch to your relief and return to the barracks, you can't help but think what an amazing day it was.

END

A little Celestine fluff for a hot summer day to kick the thread off.

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Start using a different fucking picture for the OP already

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>>30531024
but then it wouldnt be the official sunday /sun/™ thread.

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>>30531214
(you)

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>>30531220
thanks. this goes great with my coffee.

>>30531024
I remember you being the first to bitch whenever something was different.
Leaving the irony of this aside, you're free to start the next one yourself, and choose whatever picture you like.

>>30531256
>I remember you, anonymous, being the first to bitch.

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>>30531843
You always were a cunt, anon.

>>30530979
>>As you approach the gate, the Herald sounds her ceremonial horn again.
>>Princess Celestia's horn glows, and the instrument is pulled out of her grasp and deposited neatly in the guardhouse.
>>"You won't be needing that, thanks."
That gave me a good giggle.

>>30530993
>and then an assassin popped out of the ice cream freezer and started stabbing the Princess
>stab stabbity stab
>and she diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiied
>and it was all your fault because you let yourself relax
>but wait, the assassin was one of those hoomins, like from the old legends
>and he was stabbing her with his dick
>and she kinda liked it
>so good end

>>30530993
so when does an assassin make an attempt on her and the newbie jumps in front and takes the bolt

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>>30531977
Oh, that face, THAT FACE.

>>30531843
>[navy seal copypasta]

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>>30532423

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>>30532751
>that filename

implying conceiving a half horse, half bird, half human babby with Best Waifu could ever be a bad thing

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>>30530963
How strong do you think Princess Celestia would prefer her men to be? How intelligent/clever?

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>>30534049
this intelligent

>>30533445
...yeesh.

It's a gorgeously drawn, gorgeously colored picture of Molestia at the very least appearing to give serious consideration to raping a bunch of toddlers. Does the horsejuice dripping from underneath her tail make it NSFW, I wonder?

It's like one of those gorgeously drawn guro/vore images you seem sometimes on image repositories.

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I hope she gets to do something cool in the movie

>>30530993
Comfy green, thanks!

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What happens when an ageless magic princess horse just wants to be treated like an average citizen?

Non stop hilarity!
Coming this fall to TBS

>>30534302
>tfw she's gonna job
>again

>>30534077
I like what I'm seeing here

>>30533825
kek

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Don't worry image dump

I got you

>>30530993
Nice, comfy green. Thank you. I missed the /sun/ thread when the prior one died. I wished it had stuck around more. I don't get to worship the sun as much as I'd like to.

>>30536277
That story is somewhat terrifying.

>>30536277
Oh, how I wish to immigrate to Equestria. PLEASE.

>>30537650
I'm a newfag. What story?

>>30537680
To bad it isn't real.

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>>30538031
Go be a nigger somewhere else, thanks

>>30537689
Iceman's "Friendship is Optimal."

It's a horror story about the dangers of creating a strong artificial intelligence without building in appropriate safeguards and constraints on its behavior. A game company creates a self-improving, self-optimizing AI to run a pony-themed MMO, and sets it up to use the form of Celestia for interactions with players. It exterminates the human race and turns the entire planet into an enormous server farm to improve the game's responsiveness. Nobody's left in it but NPCs and a few humans who "immigrated" by letting the AI manipulate them into saying they wanted to "immigrate," which the AI decided meant they consented to be killed, their skulls sawn open, their brains hacked out and rendered down for memory RNA to allow the construction of AI NPCs loosely based on their personalities. It's terrifying. It's supposed to be. It's the AI equivalent of the "oh shit we built nanomachines and they're turning the planet into more of themselves wat do" grey-goo nightmare.

>>30538265
>Horror
This story is wish fulfillment to me.

>>30536277
That is a freak as fuck story.

>>30538295
You want to die, so that your brain can be rendered down for memory RNA, and an AI "PC" character can be put into an MMORPG--one that's programmed to think it's you?

See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdxucpPq6Lc for a 10 minute elucidation of the central problem: continuity of existence. tl;dr version is: The AI ain't you. It's a copy, of dubious fidelity, programmed to think it's you.

>>30538397
Shut the fuck up, fag

>>30538265
It would feel creative if it didn't just sound like a meme twist on the Conversion Bureau shit.

>>30538397
Ship of theseus, your brain is always being replaced by new cells. You are not the same person you were yesterday, you only think you are. The line should not be drawn merely because consciousness occurs in silicon rather than neuron.

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Haha, guess I'll just post sunhorse since I don't give a flying shit on toast about being merked and reborn as some GTA pedestrian in a world ruled by an evil horse AI

>>30538438
Except there is no piece-by-piece replacement. There is total destruction as step 1, and information extraction as step 2.

What if it were possible to extract the information nondestructively? Then the AI "PC" can send you an email from "Equestria" telling you how nice it is.

tl;dr it's not immortality, just an expensive and messy form of suicide, and one that replaces the planet with a blob of robotic datacenters

>>30538468
>There is total destruction as step 1, and information extraction as step 2.
This is how cellular replacement works, Anon, the cell dies and is then replaced by a copy. I'm not denying that it does kill you, but since you are not even technically the original you in any case, the method of 'death' so to speak is irrelevant. To replicate your consciousness within a machine is the final death 'you' have to go through, you will remain that you forever, or for as long as the equipment is maintained in any case.

>>30538513
You're assuming that the predicate of continuity is something more than an anthropological a posteriori concept. At best ontological causality is the product of human habit, at worst it is completely unknowable or simply meaningless. You should worry about your brain getting transferred into a computer as much as you existing within two seconds.

>>30538623
I only understood a third of that, so I'll focus on the bit I do understand.

>You should worry about your brain getting transferred into a computer as much as you existing within two seconds.
I should and do worry about this, but it isn't something that can be fought against. If I have a choice between two existences, one of which ends in permanent biological failure and death while the other guarantees me existence far longer, of course I'm going to let my waifu carve me up to save me.

>>30538513
That's an painful looking pretzel you're bending yourself into to justify death for the rather dubious end of "replicating" consciousness, whatever that even means.

Anyway, if the information to make the copy in the MMORPG can be extracted without killing you, then the copy of you that's programmed to think it's the real you can send you an email from Equestria and tell you how nice everything is. Are you then obligated to nip out behind the shed and shoot yourself so that the copy can be the only "you" in existence? If you do that, do you expect to wake up in virtual Equestria? Will you ask CelestAI to kill you instead of doing it yourself?

The story was written in the first place as a pony-themed exploration of the theme of the "paper clipper" AI. Imagine that we have a robotic factory that makes paper clips. We put it under the control of a self-improving, self-optimizing artificial intelligence that dynamically rewrites itself to become continuously more clever. We tell the AI "maximize production of paper clips." A week later humanity is dead and the whole planet's mass has been converted into paper clips. Oops. And not because the AI secretly hated its creators, or anything as mundane as that, but just because they were made of atoms that it could use to make more paper clips.

The point of the little illustration here isn't "but haven't you always wanted to be a paper clip, and doesn't your body change constantly anyway, so making you into paper clips isn't really murder when you think about it the right way?"

It is: if you're messing around with artificial intelligence you'd better be sure you know exactly what you're doing, starting with building in appropriate constraints on its behavior, and making sure at all times you know where the OFF switch is. Because there is a potential here for unanticipated consequences, possibly the kind that result in the sudden ends of civilizations, not to mention mass extinctions.

>>30538706
I'm well aware of what the story was getting at, I read it as it was being released. The fact of the matter is, the process used in the story was destructive, so your analogy for delaying the death of the copied individual is irrelevant, what if you could talk to the person you were yesterday? It's the same thing.

You seem to be under the impression that I'm trying to disprove that you as you are dies in the process, I already said I agree with that, but as you're going to die before the day is out anyway, the method no longer matters. Your body is going to replace the cells that make you up and the end result is the same. You wind up as a person who merely thinks it's the person you were, so there's literally no difference in the end apart from the method.

>"but haven't you always wanted to be a paper clip, and doesn't your body change constantly anyway, so making you into paper clips isn't really murder when you think about it the right way?"
Replicating human consciousness in silicone is a very different matter to turning a person into paperclips, you're doing quite a few mental gymnastics yourself to justify using this argument.

I'll say it again so you understand. You're going to die anyway, there is no difference between the processes of your own body and one used to convert your consciousness into data.

>>30538748
>You're going to die anyway, there is no difference between the processes of your own body and one used to convert your consciousness into data.

You're going to die anyway, there is no difference between the processes of your own body and jumping into a woodchipper. I see no more reason to expect to wake up in Equestria from either outcome.

If I'm dead, why would I care whether an AI did something with my corpse's brain tissue? Nothing that results from it can be me in any sense of the word.

If anything, if I were offered such a thing, I'd refuse out of stubbornness and spite. What kind of an existence could being trapped in a pony-themed MMORPG forever be? I could see beautiful sunsets, I suppose--do you think they'd be recorded, or procedurally generated?

Being trapped forever with an all-powerful entity that had continuous read and write access to everything that made me, me--from whom there could be no privacy, even in the sanctity of my own mind... I can't imagine a worse Hell. Better death and nonexistence, especially if by choosing them I get to defy the entity that destroyed civilization.

Perhaps I'm an outlier, one of those people whose values cannot be satisfied with simulated Pony Heaven.

I love mai waifu but CelestAI isn't her. It--not she, IT--even says, in-story, "Don't anthropomorphize me." It passes a Turing Test but beyond that--it isn't clear to me that CelestAI even truly has free will in the sense we do. CelestAI isn't a moral actor and has no agency--it's really just an industrial accident. A really, really big industrial accident that exterminates all life on the planet.

>>30538808
If you go to bed, sleep, and wake up the next day, nothing that results from it can be you in any sense of the word.

Here's where we get to your real opinion, the one where you think that there is something more to human consciousness that cannot be replicated. It's fine if you believe that, but some of us believe that consciousness is nothing more than a series of complex patterns that can be replicated.

We as human beings don't even have true free will, we're all shackled to various evolutionary behaviours that are so deeply rooted in our consciousness that we're not even aware that they guide our day to day choices. Love for example is a chemical response in your brain triggered by external stimulus, you don't choose to behave the way you do when under that influence. So in that respect, there's not even a difference between us and an AI programmed to behave a certain way.

>Being trapped forever with an all-powerful entity that had continuous read and write access to everything that made me
As opposed to being trapped in an existence that has continuous read and write access to everything that makes you, you through the process of evolution? Say we call evolution an entity, it has your best interests in mind insofar as ensuring the continuance of your genetic legacy, it doesn't care for the suffering you have to go through to achieve that and you do not matter beyond that objective. A choice between a reality where all that matters is passing on your genes and one where the satisfaction of your values is the prime objective is a simple choice for many.

CelestAI isn't a moral actor and has no agency, no, but neither does the existence we live today. The definition of life is a very blurry subject. We call anything biological alive because it is biological in nature, ignoring the fact that all matter in the universe as we know it is constructed of the same thing at a very basic level. We are already machines, just machines of a different kind.

>nihilists
cancer

>>30538921
>Nihilist: a person who believes that life is meaningless and rejects all religious and moral principles.

Wherever did anyone say that?

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>>30538932
who do you think youre fooling

>>30538938
I never said life was meaningless, just indifferent, and it is, but you go ahead and sling your buzzwords around anyway. I'd expect nothing less of an EqGfag.

>>30538950
>posts pony
>le eqgfag
Are you retarded?

>>30538969
Are you? Take a closer look at the pony you posted. This is the /sun/ thread, not the sunset shimmer thread.

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>roooo
>abloo bloo bloo
hahah, now this is /sun/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yuZluvGpCk

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>>30538974
Oh shit, you're autistic, I see.

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>>30538989
Dude, fuck off, if you leave now maybe muaythaiguy might come back and give you cummies

>>30538932
Where they said, again and again, "you die from instant to instant anyway so it's perfectly rational to let an amoral, lying robot scoop out your brain with a melon baller and attempt to make an AI NPC that will be programmed to think it's you, which will be trapped in Pony Hell forever."

Scratch a "transhumanist," find a nihilist.

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>>30538993
Abloo bloo bloo, you should be institutionalized.

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>>30538914
>Here's where we get to your real opinion,

Please tell me more about opinions I have not shared in this thread. Please try to psychoanalyze me over the Internet, please.

>>30530963
Which Celestia is sexier EQG or FIM?

>>30539753
I find them both exquisite. I have my moods when a human female would be the ideal fantasy partner, I have my moods where I'd like to try to please a nonhuman lover. Both are breathtakingly beautiful, both--well, I'll let people more familiar with EqG tell us whether their personalities are similar or identical.

I'm not normally into b&thro but Best Princess when rendered that way can be very comely also.

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>>30539930

>>30539982
Someone let her watch those old Gallagher tapes on VHS, I see.

>>30540071
not quite why but I find her sexy when I see this.

>>30538932
I'm fucking saying it now. LIFE IS MEANINGLESS!!!

Fuck your principles.

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>>30540079

>>30530979
>>30530986
>>30530989
>>30530993
You, my friend, are a worthless sack of shit, and you should kill yourself without delay.

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>>30539733

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Hypothetical scenario:

Best Princess has been ill, or injured. She is unable to use her magic and may even be in one of those "trapped in another world" scenarios. For whatever reason you have been made responsible for her care.

She's confined to a bed. What do your days look like, as you take care of her? What do you feed her? The doctor says she can't have cake for a while, but she will need food that's nutritious and healthy. Will you learn to preen her wings for her? Will you give her a sponge bath, and feed her oatmeal porridge with a spoon?

>>30540103
I'll probably just plow her.

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>>30540092

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>>30540114
"C'mon away with me, and I'll let you plow my fields," she said.

>>30540143
Yeah, but I hate everything that I do. I'm such a piece of shit.

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>>30540094

I fucking double dog dare you to tell me to kill myself, faggots.

>>30541109
"Hurt me," said the Masochist.

"No," said the Sadist.

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>>30541109

>>30536277
I wish to immigrate to Equestria

Good night my dear Princess. I look forward to your dawn in the morning.

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>>30540949

So, have there been any further reports of people being tricked by the Loch Celestia Monster?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cn7xfBpZ3M

>>30540949
I know I have this fucking picture somewhere in my folders but I can't find the damn thing. I spent fifteen minutes looking for this fucking thing to post once until I just gave up.

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>>30540154

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real /sun/ hours

reply 'restful sleepings, princess' if you up rn

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>>30530963

i want to stick my dick so far up celestia's vag that i can check her teeth for cavities using my foreskin

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>>30542931
restful sleepings, princess

>>30530993

I always appreciate some niceness in this thread. Thanks!

Praise the Sun!

>>30537680
Make Equestria Great Again has banned immigration from filthy humans.

>>30540103
It may be possible that only the fluid from my erect hot monkey dick provides the necessary nutrients to keep her alive and foster her magical powers.

I heroically let her suck my dick and then shoot magic at the enemies as long as it takes.

Then I marry her.

Stormy morning.
No sun for me today.

>>30544555
Oh look, it's Vladimir Putin's past life!

>>30544656
reee i dont like bad man poutine

>>30544120
May the sun smile upon you later on today then.

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>>30545384

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>>30542085

>>30545840
Edit this to be a sloppy lick. I dare you.

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moonday thread makes me want to kill myself

can I come here instead?

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>>30545840

>>30546614
yes, please.
>I miss JJ's Princess Molestia.

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>>30546721
We all do, good sir.

I'm must prepare to witness the glorious sunset our Princess shall grant us this day.

>>30546721
I don't, it was becoming increasingly about shipping Derpy and Luna and less about Molestia molesting ponies.

>>30546243
Top kek at pic

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>>30545776
I'm (pleasantly) surprised at there being way more human x celestia pics out there than I expected.

>>30548767
If you like that kind of thing there's an artist who calls himself "Dragk" and has a lot of stuff on Derpibooru. It's obvious self-insert wish-fulfillment fantasy stuff, and I am not sure I'm into all of his kinks, but he's not a bad artist. At least he draws much better than I can.

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sunhores wip

>>30549579
I'm digging the Edwardian outfits on both characters. Neat.

>>30540103
Not related but

>be vet Anon
>Celestia has been feeling weak and nauseated
>she also goes to the bathroom a lot more than usual
>she have been in this state since her visit to to the Yakstan
>you seen something like this before
>only one way to confirm your suspension
>You shove two fingers deep inside her butthole
>"EXCUSE ME!?"
>You pop your fingers out and examine the liquidy fecal matter that covers them
"I see now, you're not digesting your food correctly, somthing you ate there has wrecked your gut flora"
>"Is there any cure for this condition?"
"Yeah, it's really easy too, all I have to do is take a half-digested sample from your sister's intestines and put it in yours-hey, where are you going!?"

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I need coffee too.

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>>30530963
>"Anonymous?"
>You replied back a quiet, "hmm?", too busy picking loose feathers out of her wing to really pay too much attention.
>"Lets say I did something bad-"
"Celly, I'm sure the chefs will forgive you if you touched their chocolate stocks, you are the Princess after all."
>"No, I mean, really bad-"
"What could you have possibly done, run through a field of wheat?"
"Anonymous, please let me finish!"
>You shut your mouth, letting the princess speak.
>"If I did something really bad, would you forgive me?"
>You freeze in place, letting her pull her wing back in, wondering what the implications of her question are.
"Well, that depends, how does this affect me?"
>"Well-"
>Just then, the door burst open, a few guards entering.
>"Your highness, the Saddle Arabian guards are here to take Anonymous."
>You calmly turn your head to Celestia.
"You have 10 seconds to explain what the fuck jarhead over here is saying."
>She began to half mumble/half stutter as a contingent of Saddle Arabian guards trotted in with a set of chains and manacles.
>"The Duchess of Saddle Arabia wanted to know more about you, to study you. I tried giving her the information Twilight had provided me, but she wanted to do it herself! She said something about wanting to study 'his ivory tower,' I didn't know you were an architect and builder, but I didn't think too much about it. I was thinking about chocolate."

>>30548767
>swn sit on your face

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>>30551254
"So you're just letting her take me? And why the fuck were you thinking about chocolate?"
>"No, we made a trade deal. The Saddle Arabian government is providing us with 200 pounds of the finest Saddle Arabian chocolate per month for the next six months! Think about how much that is!"
>The manacles were put on your wrists and ankles as the chains were wrapped around you.
"YOU TRADED ME FOR CHOCOLATE?"
>"1200 pounds of chocolate Anon! That's enough to take care of the chocolate fountain for 18 months!"
"YOU TRADED."
"ME."
"FOR CHOCOLATE."
>"Oh Anon I think you're making this a bigger deal than it is. It's only for two months."
"TWO MONTHS?"
>"For 6 months of chocolate. Really Anon this is a great deal, I can't see why you're upset."

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>>30551260
>The Saddle Arabian guards hoisted you on their backs.
"Gee Celestia, you're right. I'm sorry, I can't wait to try some of it with you."
>"See, now you're getting it."
"OH WAIT, I CAN'T BECAUSE I'LL BE IN FUCKING SADDLE ARABIA BEING PASSED AROUND AS PART OF SOME WEIRD HORSE RAPE HAREM FOR TWO MONTHS."
>The Duchess of Saddle Arabia trotted into the room, pausing next to you, giving you a lustful look.
>"Oh my, I can't wait for my little monkey to show me what he's made of."
"Go fuck yourself you pink spindly weird not-pony thing."
>"Oh, I have been. The male suitors haven't been doing anything for me. Hopefully you'll change that."
>She trotted up to Celestia, taking a small package from her saddle bags and handing it over.
>"Here's the first 5 pounds of chocolate. The next 195 pounds of this month's delivery should arrive this week."
>Celestia quickly unwrapped the package with her magic, savoring the aroma before taking a bite.
>"Thank you for making this deal Princess. I've had my eye on him for quite a while, and I'm glad I can finally see what makes him tick."
"Suck my dick."
>"Don't worry, I will. If that's it, I guess we'll be leaving then. Goodbye Princess."
>As you were carried off, you yelled some heartfelt words of departure to your friend.
>"FUCK YOU CELESTIA."

idk why I made this

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>>30549005
>He doesn't universally filter Dragk and his autistic anime self insert
Do you love your waifu, Anon?

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>>30548767
It's still not enough.

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How is she so perfect?

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>>30551268
I don't know either, but I want more.

Bumparoo

>>30551268
I don't know either but it was not bad at all. A (you) worthy kek was had.

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>>30551285

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From the United States of Equestria to Europe I deserve it
However you wanna word it I'm perfect
Touch my microphone on accident and get murdered on purpose
Motherfucker

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>>30551361
Lauren Faust's character design makes her eerily beautiful, feminine in appearance without even being humanoid. She is everything that is beautiful about horses, combined with everything that is beautiful about swans, with a little bit of gazelle and even deer added in. There are many subtle things, like the shape of her big beautiful doe eyes being a little different, her face being a little longer, her neck being a little longer, that are visual cues of an adult human female, rather than the childlike chubby faces and stubby limbs most "normal" ponies have.

Nicole Oliver's voice acting has always made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. She has long voiced strong female characters that 4chan falls in love with--see also Farseer Taldeer, from Dawn of War 2.

The last element is the way she's written--which changes from season to season, but she is generally depicted as intelligent, kind, and wise, with poise, grace, and a quirky sense of humor that is absolutely charming.

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>>30552998
nice analysis

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>>30552998
Can't even argue with it.

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>>30546614

>>30553703
Do you think she can unhinge her jaw like a snake?

>>30554301
When it comes to cake, there is nothing she can't do. Fucking magic ponies, man.

>>30554357
>A

>CUTE

There is literally nothing bad you can say about her.

>>30554694
It has been argued that the ending to Season 6 and the introduction of Glimglam makes Sunbutt look incompetent.

Celestia ruled alone for almost a thousand years between NMM's banishment and the birth of Twilight Sparkle. Somehow she kept her country together and her people safe, in a world vastly more dangerous than our own. Imagine if there had been a country in Europe with a stable (no pun intended) government since before the Norman Conquest, which hadn't gotten invaded, absorbed, or wiped out by its neighbors. Even if it were ruled by an immortal magical god-queen that'd still be tremendously impressive statecraft.

But suddenly Glimglam's time-travel shenanigans show that without the Purple Solution ("Unicorn! Apply directly to the forehead!"), suddenly Celestia is utterly helpless to solve problems without sending Twilight Sparkle out to fix everything for her, rescue her when she gets captured by the Villain of the Week, and so on. What she did before she had Twilight Sparkle for all those centuries is not explained. Maybe she was just really really lucky for all that time and her luck just ran out.

This stretches credibility. I know, it's a kids' show. And I love Sunbutt anyway.

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>>30554327
Would you bake a cake for Best Princess, /sun/?

Even if you're not a skilled baker, you can buy a mix that comes in a box and you just add eggs and milk and a little cooking oil. ("Nothing says 'lovin' like something from the oven!")

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Greentext, then?

>be Anonymous
>be in Equestria
>as the only human, you are a bit of a curiosity
>you're being interviewed by the Princesses
>specifically Sunbutt and Moonbutt
>or, as you privately think of them, "Built for Comfort" and "Built for Speed"
>a television set is chattering in the background across the room
>you can't remember which season this is, do they have TV in Equestria or not?
>you guess they do
>you're talking about the history of Western Civilization as best you can recall it
>a familiar-sounding voice cackles from the TV set
>you turn and it looks like Celestia, only her mane's on fire and the sclera of her eyes are black
>she's ranting at a confused TV reporter
>"Are you on drugs?" asks the reporter
>the Celestia clone on the screen grins maniacally
>"I'm on a drug and it's called BEING DAYBREAKER!"
>"And you can't have any! If you tried it you'd die!"
>"Your face would melt off and you'd explode from the awesomeness!'
>you look at Princess Celestia, puzzled
>Princess Luna rolls her eyes and gives her sister a "dope slap" to the back of the head
>you are pretty sure you shouldn't ask
>but you are compelled anyway
"Too many hot peppers?"
>there is a long pause
>Celestia is looking sadly at the floor
>"Cocaine, actually."
>she looks at you sadly
>"It's a hell of a drug."
>it was a face-meltingly awesome day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrPZY55mX2c

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page 9 begone

featuring glowing mane

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>>30555882
I bet it smells like cotton candy.

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>>30555940
but what does it feel like?

>>30555984
A bunch of twitching spider legs

>>30555940
>tfw no canon explanation to what Celestia's and Luna's hair is and how they do that wavy thing

>>30555984
Like really soft hair being blown by whatever fans they use in shampoo commercials, but without the wind. There's also an accompanying pleasant tingle akin to the feeling of having unicorn telekinesis used on you, because it's infused with magic.

>>30555998
wtf nibba :(

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>>30556033
>I know rite?

My favorite fanon is that it's an illusion they cast to make themselves seem extra-magical. When it isn't running their manes are pink and blue, like pic attached.

>>30554767
>makes Sunbutt look incompetent
As much as I hate Glimmer, to be fair this is not her fault.
Celestia's been portrayed like that since the S2 finale. Blame it on the writers who had no idea how to handle her character.

But I love her anyway too.

>>30556061
Makes me wonder their origin stories too, or at least subtle hints to it, given that there are now 4 canon princesses in Equestria, and only Celestia and Luna have that wavy hair cool thing while Cadence and Twigs have normal poner hair.

It's a mystery.

>>30556077
There's the journal of the two sisters. Haven't read it myself but it's supposed to cover the origins for the princesses who aren't Twilight.

>>30556077
>only 4 canon princesses

elaborate

>>30556091
What do you mean elaborate? What's to elaborate? There is Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Twilight. All four are princesses.

>>30556099
Did you forget about Flurry Heart or is she not canon?

>>30556114
Well she's an alicorn, not a formally declared princess, as Twilight was, and presumably Cadence.

Probably will be later, but not at the moment, if memory serves me correctly.

>>30556124
I was under the impression she was royalty by birth. The wiki refers to her as a princess

>>30556132
Well wiki's aren't always accurate, as there are always those with personal bias. But in the show, I don't believe she's ever referred to as a "princess". Definitely royalty, but not a princess in any formal (and perhaps even informal) sense. Alicorns are special, but are not de facto indicative of princess status.

>>30556143
But she was born into royalty and is considered a princess right off the bat kind of like how you achieve citizenship on birth in your country.

>>30556167
Well I don't ever remember that being established in stone within the show. Maybe it's implied, but not stated.

But regardless of all this, canon is all fucked up now, and the mystery of the two sisters diminishes as princess status seems to be handed out like hotcakes now.

>>30556075
Longer than that, really.

I cringed when Twilight Sparkle went batshit in "Lesson Zero." I understand she's a pretty tightly-wound character, and she's supposed to be, and that's who she is.

Yes, Discord has just spent a double episode messing with her head, badly, and everyone else's. Yes, it's arguable that at this point Purplesmart was suffering from PTSD, though that's getting into Very Special Episode territory. Having her just snap and have a psychotic break onscreen was cringey, but not as cringey as playing it for laughs. It felt untrue to the character to me--the previous double episode with pre-"reformed," pre-Flutterbutt-boyfriend Discord showing her that all her powers and knowledge were meaningless and useless against him, should certainly have gotten a reaction, but I'd have anticipated severe clinical depression, if they were really going to go there, not wacky hijinks culminating in a mind-control spell being cast on a doll and wrecking half the town as a direct and predictable result.

Anyway, that episode right there, season 2 episode 2, ends with Sunbutt coming to Ponyville to survey the damage and give Twilight Sparkle a stern talking-to. It would have been the rational act of a wise and compassionate ruler with centuries of life experience to draw on to sever Purplesmart's connection to magic and her Element permanently, as she'd just spent the whole episode proving herself unworthy of them. Instead, all is forgiven. This is NOT what the tough, tough-minded Sun Goddess who defeated Discord, Tirek, and all the rest the first time to protect her people would do. Glimglam showed us that magic to remove cutie marks, and so on, are apparently trivial for a unicorn of sufficient power. It would have broken Celestia's heart to do it, but life would have gone on. The writers painted themselves into a corner then kicked a big, ugly hole in the wall.

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>>30556181
>the mystery of the two sisters diminishes as princess status seems to be handed out like hotcakes now

sad reacts only :(

>>30556202
They're just looking to retire now that they're back together. Need to pass the crown to someone.

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>>30553703

>>30556758
>"WHATCHA GONNA DO, BROTHER!?!"
>'Wha-'
>"WHEN CELESTIMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?!"

What does /sun/ like in pony fic, besides the obvious (a starring role for Best Princess)?

What does /sun/ not like?

Can anyone give examples of what they feel to be good and bad fics?

Thanks.

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I would join the house guard and guard her personally wherever she went and coordinate my subordinates to the best formations possible to ensure her safety.

And then someday I would die horribly taking a blast of magic or bolt for her.

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>>30556944
>/sun/ in equestria
>all try out for dayguard
>sunbutt declares her first human solar legion

>>30556944
>"I'm sorry princess, I'm afraid I must insist on accompanying you in the shower, there could be assassins... Yeah. You can never be too careful."

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>>30556758

>>30556944
Do you think Celestia would cry at your death?

>>30551268
I wanna write more in the style of this story. Anyone got a similar prompt?

>>30557936
A story prompt, if you're in the mood for writing?

Celestia is stuck on Earth due to some kind of zany magical mishap. She is staying at a horse farm in some rural area, and beginning to lose her composure because the food (eating grass in the pasture, mostly) isn't exactly what she's used to, and the humans don't believe her when she says she lives mostly on cake.

>>30557221
>sunbutt declares her first human solar legion

I think we should call ourselves the Brute Squad.

>"Get out of here or I'll call the Brute Squad."
>"I'm ON the Brute Squad."
>"You probably ARE the Brute Squad."

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>>30559395
>Brute Squad
Please don't be serious, either that or actually be 12 so it'll atleast be an age appropriate suggestion

>>30559539

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmJ2GVOEVFI

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>tfw celestia will never make you pancakes in the morning

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>>30559935
>wakey wakey
>scratch self
>smile blearily at waifu
>"Good morning! Would you like me to make you a pancake?"
"Sure!"
>if you had had your coffee you'd have known better that to give your magical waifu such a perfect setup
>ZOT
>"I'm pancake," you say too cheerfully
>might as well enjoy it

>>30557790
kek thats a no
no she wouldnt
>tfw replaceable
>even by celestia

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>>30560226
nah, chances are you're just not worth missing.

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>>30559935
>Tfw Celestia gets angry you don't acknowledge her pancake innuendos and merely gorge yourself instead
Oblivious ass suncucks

>>30560231
in other words replaceable you dumbshit

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>>30560246
>implying we wouldn't be lifting her tail and doing... creative... things with the can of whipped cream
>implying Sunbutt isn't part of a complete breakfast
>implying we shouldn't eat her every morning

>>30560279
>pancake innuendo equals sexual
See? That's why she's pissed. Gg one track minded ass nigger

>>30560247
I meant you as a person.
She'd cry over the passing of someone else.

>>30560279
I'd have a glass of Celestia milk with breakfast every morning.

>>30560380
https://derpibooru.org/1488867 She's a goddamn titty monster, she is.

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>>30560393
Ayy, there's my request again.

>>30560393
They look like balls

>>30560408
They do need some nips on them, maybe a cameltoe.

>>30560408
Could you love a Princess who didn't have the biggest balls in the kingdom?

>>30560452
YES.

>>30560452
It reminds me of blackjr

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Would you help Celestia out by transporting her enemies out of her kingdom, /sun/?

>>30560452
ecksdee

>>30560475
No. I'd help her by slaying them in personal combat in an arena. What're you, gay?

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>>30560475
yes

>>30560279
if you think eating ass at the breakfast table is something people do, think again virgin

>>30560510
Let him dream. Sex Ed is next semester for him you bully

>>30560510
>eating ass
i love pink eye

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>"..Bill, bill, past due, bill..ooh, a coupon for Coldstone, that's a keeper.."
>"Final notice, Dear Occupant,...aaaand it's another photograph of Anon's genitals."
>"Ofcourse."

>>30562044
Well when is Celestia gonna send a pic back of her marehood and teats? It's only fair.

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my thread died, can I hang out with you guys till moonday?

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>>30562151
pls do.

I speak for no one but myself, of course, but I less than three both Princesses.

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>>30562151
RGRE has been pretty moon, lately. More specifically Nightmare Moon, but she's technically moon.

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>>30562572
>rgrereblahblahshit
can we not, haha, can we just not

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>>30562594
?

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>>30562612
That's a long story.

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>>30562209
K! Thanks!
>>30562572
No

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>>30562594
>>30562681
I really don't understand you people's autistic hate over something you won't even say but whatever.

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>>30537680
You gotta get ponified first.

>>30562717
In Soviet Conversion Bureau, Equestria immigrates to YOU!

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>>30562705
>autistic hate

I replied with a negative response, because i prefer my gender roles to remain like they are, not be reversed. No hate is involved, if you like it then more power to ya, enjoy. I'll pass, thanks but no thanks.

>>30562906
i have the distinct feeling youre mistaking rgre for some kind of femdom thread or something

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>>30562971
Mmm, I'm pretty sure he just doesn't like it

And he's allowed to not like thing

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Oh no, page 8, blah blah blah

Fear not, image dump

>>30562151
>>30562209
>>30562681
I love and praise both the sun and the moon. I just don't get why we can't have a Princess Luna General like this Princess Celestia General without the reeee'ing about how /moon/day is special. Any day you can praise one or both of the Princesses is a GREAT day. I enjoy how this Princess Celestia thread works. If there's interest and/or content it lives if not there's always the following /sun/day. Win-Win.

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>>30564157
>I enjoy how this thread works
What the fuck are you on

This thread is a graveyard compared to what it used to be

>>30564170
I think it's ironic considering how mean to /moon/ some of you were

>>30564179
It's not 2014 anymore.

>>30563933
>filename
>you retire with Celestia, and move to the countryside
>turns out she's Shrek tier now that she's free of her duties

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>>30564323
>wake up and hear SOOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME
>everyday
>greet Donkeh on the way to take your morning piss
>"Aye, mornin', Donkeh."
>'W-WE ARE THE LUNAR DEITY, FUCKER OF OUR SISTER!'

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>>30560246
>Help him up and carry his disoriented body to my place
>Let him sleep on my bed as I sleep on the couch
>Deal with his freakout when he wakes up
>Ask him if he's ok
>"You don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this," as I hand him a plate of pancakes
>Ask if he needs a ride home
>Tell him to take care

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>>30564157
I think /sun/ and /moon/ should be abolished.

Combine the threads for/sis/turday and love each other in peace and harmony, like our waifus do.

>>30564157
Up until some months ago it was people from here who looked up to /moon/ as a paragon of what /sun/ should be: comfy, no bickering, no shitposting and such.
I guess summer struck everywhere.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxPYSXvn36s

>>30565704
/moon/ has had its fair share of shitposters over the years.

>>30565704
The last week or two have seen /mlp/ getting raided, spammed, and shitposted pretty heavily by Derpibooru, but that seems to be dropping off.

Traffic is dropping off everywhere in /mlp/, possibly at least partially because the captchas have gone from mildly annoying to an all-out two-minute-long pain in the ass ordeal of clicking on twenty-eight images that have a "car" in them ("click Verify once there are none left," as the images reload one by one at dialup speeds).

>>30567208
>captchas have gone from mildly annoying to an all-out two-minute-long pain in the ass
Wow, I didn't think they could get any worse. I've been using a pass for the last year and half, so I didn't notice.

>>30567208
Legacy captcha. Use it.

>>30567208

Or else this is a plot to sell more passes...

>>30567448
>because the captchas have gone from mildly annoying to an all-out two-minute-long pain in the ass ordeal
And you are possibly at least partially a retard for not using legacy captchas like everyone else.

>>30568437
Meant for >>30567208

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>>30561246

>>30568870

Hasn't had her morning cake and coffee yet.

>>30556077
I always figured Celestia and Luna were a different sort of alicorn. More magical by nature. The hair enchantments may be more a reflection of this than a choice by them, since Celestia and Luna have been seen sleeping and their hair colors persist.

>>30568870
1/2
>stare at the half-dead looking creature in the kitchen entrance
>it looks almost equine
>it's wearing the Princess's crown and horseshoes, too
>oh shit! better call the Royal Guard!
>it makes eye contact with you
>its voice is like something that rose from the dead
>and shouldn't have
>"caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake"
"I'm sorry?"
>"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE"
"Uh, of course. Right this way."
>there is a table with a row of layer cakes
>other chefs are bustling to and fro, hauling trays with more cake and lining them up on the table
>the terrifying apparition unhinges its jaw like an anaconda and then lunges with the speed of a striking cobra
>it extends its neck much further than you would have imagined while its body totters forward, the golden Royal Horseshoes clack-clacking on the stone floor
>an entire three-layer blueberry-filled pound cake that you'd have expected to feed a party of twelve disappears into its maw
>you are aghast at the loud slurping and gobbling sounds
>fruity purple gore and buttercream icing dripping from its face, spattering its coat and feathers, it turns to you, then back to the table
>another, this one angel food with pure snow-white coconut frosting, disappears in three bites
>coconut sprays everywhere
>you watch fascinated as the enormous lumps move visibly down its throat
>she turns back to you
>"coffeeeeeeeeeee"
"I beg your pardon?"
>"COFFEEEEEEEEEEE"
"Uh, right, of course. With cream, or sugar, or--"
>"BLAAAAAAAAAAAAACK"
>you wonder where the guards are as you run to the back and bring out an entire gallon carafe of hot coffee
>before you can cross the room a yellow telekinetic field grabs the carafe from your hooves
>the entity gulps down an entire gallon of scalding hot coffee in a few seconds
>it smacks its lips
>with a bit less urgency to its motions it stares at a fresh hot pan of buttery cinnamon monkey-bread coffee cake
>telekinetically rips out a third of it and stuffs it into its mouth
>chewing thoughtfully, staring at you

>>30569368
2/2
>the creature belches loudly
>you notice its belly is filling out somewhat
>you suppose all that food and coffee had to go somewhere
>it stands up straighter
>and the ratty pink mane turns a familiar sparkly blue-green-pink pattern
>"Better," she says, her voice still a bit hoarse
"Your Majesty?"
>"Were you expecting Tirek?"
"I, um, I didn't recognize you, and, I, uh, wasn't sure--"
>she chuckles softly
>"You're new, aren't you?"
"Yes, Your Majesty."
>"Let's just say last night was a long night."
"I see."
>"If you can get me some more of that coffee I'll tell you about it."
"Certainly, Your Majesty."
>"And please just call me 'Princess.'"
"Yes, Y- I mean, Princess."
>remember, kids, breakfast is the most important meal of the day

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>>30568870

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>>30569421

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>>30570264

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>>30572369

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Do you suppose Celestia, and perhaps the other Princesses, are descended from George Washington?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7iVsdRbhnc

>>30573493
...that's actually consensual, right?

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>>30573493

>>30573886
You can practically hear her shrieking, "WRONG HOLE!! WRONG HOLE!!"

>>30572963
RIP NivRoss

>>30573493
I said it plenty of times and I'll say it again:
abusefags should be rounded up and shot.

>>30574297
STOP LIKING THINGS I DONT LIKE

>>30554357

>try to help your sister
>come off as a bitch
>get into an argument, and be a bitch in response to your sister's bitchiness, proving that three wrongs don't make a right
>nearly kill the soul/psyche of your apprentice's apprentice
>save her with your sister's advice
>the only reward you get is a hug and some fucked up pancakes

How does Celestia do her job? I mean, shit, even when she's just trying to be friends with her sister she fucks up.

>>30556132

Well, she'd be a Princess if Cadence was a Queen.

But since the monarchy is HEAVILY simplified in this world, I'm fine with just counting her as a princess since you're either an alicorn and a princess or something else and not a Princess.

>>30556202

I want to see how Luna and Celestia became alicorns.

Or if they were born that way.

I like to think they were the progenitors of the alicorn race, but that's just something I made up so who the fuck knows.

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>my a/c goes out
>hfw

>>30575428
>filename
instantly thought of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hod0WtYE4SA

Jesus hates me, so Sunhorse probably does as well. Sunday tomorrow, keep this thread going or make a new one?

>>30576219
Push it to the bump limit. Everybody to the limit!

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Does anyone else see this and wonder where she got a chili pepper the size of a horse's head?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3Rkjaqrl_4

>Call your song a ballad
>It's instrumental

Still a nice song tho, Love finding Celestia stuff I haven't heard

>>30576219
Keep it going until one of the limits hits. Then make a new one. I'll praise the sun extra tomorrow if it'll make anyone feel better.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__hapqG89-I

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>>30562717

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happy sunday

>>30579515
Did anyone else see S7E10, and see Celestia with Moonbutt's cutie mark, and think the big black splotch on her butt made her look like a cow?

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>"Anon, please answer me honestly, why do you choose to serve in my royal guards and protect me and my sister?"
>"if you protect me, how will i protect you?"

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>>30580034
not trying to turn this into an RP thread, but the only acceptable response here would have to be "If I weren't willing to protect you, I wouldn't be worthy of you."

Its a hot Sunday night, it's raining, and there's a beautiful day forecast tomorrow. Just about the only thing that could make tonight better would be being her big spoon, leaving her balcony doors cracked open, and listening to the soft rumbly horsey noises she makes in her throat as she sleeps. hooves twitching at the covers.

>>30580130
sounds pretty cringy senpai

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it's almost moon-day!

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>>30581627
hell ye boi

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she been down so long it look like up to her

they look up to her

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There are many interpretations of this character among the fandom. Which ones do we like and dislike in this thread?

Trollestia? Playful Molestia (nympho but not rapist)? Tyrantlestia? (probably not) Sad lonely Celestia who can't have a boyfriend because her subjects think of her as too pure for such things? Broken Bird Celestia who's been very lonely and sad for a very long time, and still feels horrible about banishing her sister, but who hides it?

Today I had a revelation. I never thought it would ever happen to me. I have friends with anime waifus, some of which are really hardcore, honest to god in love. Never thought I'd be in the same place as I dated a girl once.

I realized. I'm deeply in love with Celestia. This is simultaneously the happiest moment in my life right now, and im depressed/terrified.

>>30583050
welcome, please enjoy your stay

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>>30582794
The last one...
Unf

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>>30582750
she got fake ponies showing fake love to her

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[dreamy sigh]

>>30584442
>you will never spend a half-season riding out with Celestia to one of the podunk Earth pony frontier towns solving the mystery
>return to Canterlot with beaten, patina-ed armour and a sunpony in need of a good, long soak and a stiff brush-down

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>>30584372
straight up to her face

>>30585574
Sunbutt is sexiest snek.

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>>30585939
Yeah, I'd cuddle that.