C'mon Anon, just buy us a six pack and some Marlboros, we

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Did somebody say Roleplay?

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>>30388270
N-no sir, no roleplaying here, this is just a regular, rule conform "why is Glimmer so perfect" thread.

>>30388261
Newpimps n colt45s it is

>>30388261
The fuck kinda casual bitches are you? I'll buy you whiskey and cigars and you're gonna like it dammit.

>>30388261
>Marlboros
Not smoking Dunhills, I bet you want "lite" beer too

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I think I need to have a word with your parents, young fillies...

Oh wait. Apple Bloom's are dead.
And who knows where Scootaloo's are.
Well, at least Sweetie Belle is getting a spanking.

>>30388261
>The second those words are pronounced, a sharp rigid look staples itself onto Anon's face.
>His ice cold eyes stare into the oblivion behind the three fillies before Scootalo speaks up.
>"Anon, are you ok?"
>He regains awareness.
"Yeah sorry, I was wondering about something unrelated"
>He is lying, but the years spent at the post-unironic shithole of the internet had taught him a great deal about acting.
>"Anyway, will you buy it for us?" asked Apple Bloom.
>Anon unrestrains a sigh he was holding in his breath before sitting down against a nearby tree.
>He then gestures the fillies to do the same.
>Once they had finally laid down upon the fresh grass, Anon speaks.
"Right now you are probably guessing that I am about to give you the talk on why you shouldn't smoke."
>He waits for an answer, but when he is met only by silence he continues.
"Well I am way too smart, so I know the talk would never persuade you. If you are truly motivated to do something you will bypass any warning; that is until personal experience bites you in the ass, just like someone I know."
>He emits a light chuckle while thinking of himself.
"Instead, I'll tell you a story; one that I read In some book whose name I forgot"
>The interest of the fillies were picked. They unconsciously got a little bit closer to hear more clearly.
(cont)

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>>30388270
Mah nigga.

>>30388575
"A long time ago there used to be a shepherd who found a golden ring inside a cave."
"He quickly realized that when wore, the ring would render him invisible; thus he seized the opportunity and dethroned his king to be able to usurp his riches."
"Now the question in: do you think he was happy?"
>Initially the CMC were reluctant to answer, but then Sweetie Belle said "maybe?..."
>Anon smirked
"The answer is no. Yes he had power and wealth, but at what cost? He became a slave to his own passions. His greed created an unimaginable void that was expanded the more it was fed. The paranoia of someone stealing his ring and/or power made him incapable of having friends."
>Anon stands up and looks down upon the fillies
"I won't tell you exactly how this story relates to smoking. I believe that it would be much more educational if you figured out on your own. When you do that; ask what fallacies and pitfalls there might be. That is all I have to say."
>Anon walks away while the CMC remain puzzled by Anon's riddle.

>>30388596
>Anon walks away euphorically tipping his fedora while the CMC remain puzzled by Anon's riddle.
FTFY

>>30389031
Kek

>>30388575
>picked

That word is "piqued", Anon. And you pronounce it like "peaked".

>>30388565
>dead parents
>abandoned
>parents so irresponsible that her sister is her legal guardian
So this is why there friends.