RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

File: 1488109919778.png (147KB, 748x227px) Image search: [Google]

147KB, 748x227px

Have some theme music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQD3At3E7TA

File: IMG_9047.jpg (45KB, 462x475px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 462x475px

>>30298760
Man last thread you guys really had a cow

>>30298791
But anon. Herds.

>>30298803
Fuck you Carlos. Wait, what would the cow girl version of Carlos be?

RGR filly funtasia

>>30298810
Nothing but cheese puns

>>30298810
>Carlos
>Cowlos
>Cowla (Carla)
>or Cowlita (Carlita)

>>30298806
IDK about you, but I am not ready to be a father of +200 in under a decade...
Fuck man, I couldn't even remember all my kid's NAMES if things worked like that.
Let alone actually get to know them and be a loving parent.

I'm telling you:
PURE.
NIGHTMARE.
FUEL.

>>30298885
>IDK about you, but I am not ready to be a father of +200 in under a decade...
Why not? That sounds great, you and all your mares could get a huge ranch and ranch house, live out your days surrounded by your massive family working the land.

>>30298908
>only about half of them are actually yours

File: IMG_9164.jpg (41KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 250x250px

>>30298885
>not spreading the glory of mankind far and wide
>not granting that gift to all races in equestria
>not founding a new nation around the glory of mankind

File: IMG_9046.png (147KB, 609x1000px) Image search: [Google]

147KB, 609x1000px

>>30298938
That's no Gouda

File: 1469305157202.png (11KB, 434x572px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 434x572px

>>30298938
I dunno, I'd rather just one mare, you know? A handful of kids with the waifu.

>>30298975
You have to colonize equestria you faggot

>>30298975
I just want 2-3 thirsty waifus, with the assurance that there won't be any pregnancies until we go in for special treatments/medications.

Kids are great, but they're a VERY long term responsibility, and by the time that ends, you're going to be too old to do a very large number of things that your previous freedom allowed you to do.

File: 1435487239973.png (191KB, 730x700px) Image search: [Google]

191KB, 730x700px

>>30299028
Can't I just colonize my waifu?

>>30299044
If you give her enough kids for three mares, then yes.

>>30299038
You gotta have kids young, Anon. If you're having them any older than 30 you're doin it wrong.

>>30298760
PROMPT ARCHIVE CONTINUES HERE:

https://pastebin.com/cNVqJ2WA

>>30298947
Iron Wilma.

>>30298885
Become a notorious criminal empire with the help of all your children. Become Big Dad.

>>30299057
Wew, that would be difficult for her. I mean that's a lot of foals for one mare, Anon.

>>30298732

cont from last thread

>Anon was part of the guard detail in the canterlot wedding
>he got dump into city patrol because of some vindictive bitch of a stallion who sees anon stealing his thunder
>Framing anon to guard captain Shining armor of a misdemeanor he didn't do
>shining, being a Groomzilla over reacts and just punishes anon

>Changeling invasion begins
>most of the canterlot guard within the castle have already been defeated
>Celestia curses not having the royal army near canterlot
>the almost he entire Canterlot royal guard are stallions
>the few mares that were on duty have already been subdued

>anon charges in into the castle with his cadre of non and rather rare, non prissy stallions
>beats down all the changelings and saves the day
>Celestia finds the one stallion that have broken her preception of a weak stallion

i have no clue how to continue this

>>30299038
>>30299044
Those are some faggot numbers. I'm talking triple digits at least or a single digit of the global equestrian population

>>30299203
But why? I just want a cozy farm with my waifu. Maybe have six or so foals, grow some cherries or peaches.

>>30298810
I like the idea of a Minotaur living in ponyvill that does nothing but make bad puns
The punnisher

>>30299208
Because it's your duty as a human man to genetic conquests every compatible womb in any alien world to happen to find yourself in
You see a cow, make Minotaurs
You see a pony, make centaurs
You see a donkey, make politicians
You Will Become The All Father

>>30299238
>Those donkeys
You got me on that one, got a good kek m8.

File: 1460960850585.png (268KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

268KB, 768x1024px

>>30299238
>You see a pony, make centaurs
*satyrs

>>30299305
You make centaurs from ponys
You make satyrs from centaurs

File: 1394775783609.png (1MB, 2500x2486px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2500x2486px

>>30299341
No.

>>30299350
Then go to equestria, fuck mares and find out
Remember data is only valid if it's repeatable.
Preferably several thousand times

File: 856794_safe_monochrome_princessluna_blushing_human_eyesclosed_kissing_occolonanon_anon_artistcolonglacierclear_Copy.png (85KB, 900x800px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 900x800px

>>30299154
The mental image of groomzilla Shining cracks me up. I kind of want to see a groomzilla Anon, who despite coming from Earth, has abused Princess Twilight's promise to pay for the whole wedding in ridiculous ways.

File: 109787__suggestive_artist-colon-toonbat_applejack_berry+punch_big+macintosh_bon+bon_braeburn_carrot+top_cheerilee_derpy+hooves_doctor+whooves_fluttersh.jpg (1MB, 803x5478px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 803x5478px

This is a nice thread

File: 1494819223750.jpg (155KB, 1500x1140px) Image search: [Google]

155KB, 1500x1140px

>look up marital problems in archive
>it's actually not a cuck general
>it even looks like it could be good reference material if you want to write an Anon who is married

Why is this guy telling people with cuckshit ideas to go there? Even though it's dead either way.

File: large (5).png (185KB, 922x1024px) Image search: [Google]

185KB, 922x1024px

>>30299550
who fucking knows m8

>>30299550
Because it's how that General started

>>30299550

There was a green in general's infancy that was as close to cucking as you can get, so the name's stuck since.

>>30299550
The green that made the general was about cucking

File: Luna.webm (3MB, 480x742px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 480x742px

>>30298760
How would said eternal immortal sexist react to her sister? Would she encourage her or begrudgingly tell her about these newfangled "rights"?

File: 1493101794207.png (1MB, 1800x2400px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1800x2400px

>>30299394
I like the opposite idea.
(Anon is the only fiscally responsible stallion that the princesses have ever known.)

>Waifu asks "Anon, are you SURE you don't want the platinum one with the 25 carat green diamond?"
> Anon replies "I'm a simple man. I just want the white gold wedding band. I'm sure, honey. I know we can more than afford the fancy one, but honestly, I don't want a ring with gemstones in it, and I know sooner or later I would end up accidentally breaking it anyway."

File: 1492658258118.png (314KB, 717x436px) Image search: [Google]

314KB, 717x436px

>>30299479
"I'm a little B-cup, short and stout..."
Oh fuck, my sides!

File: 1438481570413.jpg (63KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 640x480px

>>30299779
Lyra is truly the cutest little thing.

>>30299763
"Where I come from, they say "Diamonds are Forever." Here in Equestria however, it's snack for Spike. I don't need one."

---

>Mare has psyched herself up to put on a grand wedding.
>She just accepted that this is how it has to be a long time ago, because stallions *always* want huge extravagant weddings.
>Anon would actually prefer a small casual wedding. Immediate family and a few friends, no need to invite the entire town.

File: 1487393428123.png (276KB, 1024x575px) Image search: [Google]

276KB, 1024x575px

>>30299763
>You lay awake and snug within warm arms as day breaks over town.
>It’s just now 6am, and the large human who holds your does so tightly. Trying to wiggle out now would wake him, and disturbing the rest of the one you hold most dear is unthinkable.
>Instead, you rest your muzzle against his bare chest, letting the nostril-tingling scent of of Male dominate your senses for a time.
>He’s alien in more ways than one. It’s nigh unthinkable, really. How could one so full of freely given love be so calm and undemanding?
>So… Simple and straightforward.
>The traps you expected weren’t there, the unspoken favors never called, and the debt for affection waived. Each and everytime.
>Even with the royal coffers open, nothing his own hands didn’t procure was used.
>”Just stand at my side, love, and I’ll do that same for you.” He said one cool night with a smile. “Well, even if you don’t ever want me anymore, I’ll still be by your side.”
>The memory makes your eyes sting.
>Your head turns to the side, ear parallel with his chest.
“What sort of wisdom do you have?” You question no higher than a whisper. “Can you tell me the secret? Words from Akasha? A song of divinity, maybe? Tell me everything. Tell me why.”
>Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud.
>The arms tighten just the smallest amount, and a content sigh escapes a sleeping mouth
>Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud. Thu-thud.
>"Mmm... Luv' 'ou Twi..." The words are almost too faint to hear.
>Your eyes nearly cloud with tears again.
>Simple are the truly profound things found in this world.


1/1

File: 1364965875880.png (36KB, 357x398px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 357x398px

>>30299932
so cozy

so perfect

>>30299932
so cozy.

File: 1463293631717.png (2MB, 1072x1296px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1072x1296px

>>30299932
And then she woke up.

>>30299971
>Luna was troubled.
>The Dreamscape had seen a severe change.
>This was not the work of a tantabus, nor some other foul presence.
>The dreams themselves were happy joyous things, but the pain they caused was not mitigated by this.
>One after another, a lonely pony would dream of a strange creature, who loved them, cared for them.
>And then they would wake, to find that it was just a dream, never to come to pass in reality.
>But there was something strange going on.
>In all her many years, she had never seen a creature such as this, neither in the world, nor in the dreamscape.
>Nor had she seen some of the wondrous creations that the dreams sometimes featured, not even in this modern age.
>Where then, did these little ponies learn of it?
>She suspected they hadn't.
>It took careful probing, but she eventually discovered the source.
>At the very edge of the dreamscape, the fabric was thin, so very thin.
>On the other side of the gossamer threads, lay another dreamscape, that she had never before seen.
>One filled with the creatures, these 'humans', and the strange world they inhabited
>And within their dreams, she found her little ponies as well, in a cruel mirror of the manifestations back home.
>They too, dreamed of love, and woke to find themselves alone.

>There had to be something that could be done to ease this suffering
>Some way to bridge the gap between worlds?
>Perhaps the answers lay in Starswirl's research, he was often fascinated by the idea of other realities...

File: 1362379606347.jpg (227KB, 680x833px) Image search: [Google]

227KB, 680x833px

>>30300103
And then he woke up.

File: 1496011740132.jpg (66KB, 722x349px) Image search: [Google]

66KB, 722x349px

>>30299971
>>30300127
You.
Fucking.
BASTARDS!

File: 1460725__explicit_artist-colon-plotcore_princess+celestia_rarity_oc_oc-colon-anon_alicorn_anon+gets+all+the+mares_blushing_drool_female_glowing+horn_ho.jpg (1MB, 2000x1830px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2000x1830px

>>30299038
Sometimes less is more. Not that I wouldn't keep my partners' bellies perpetually foaled up should the circumstances allow that.

File: 1475346700462.png (127KB, 1007x1287px) Image search: [Google]

127KB, 1007x1287px

>>30300189
OH MY

>>30299550
>Still implying that two guys being with one mare is cuck shit
You are never going to stop screaming that the second someone talks about a mare wanting to be with someone other than her husband, aren't you?

File: 1488846037131.png (67KB, 588x591px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 588x591px

>>30300212
Oh Celestia, please don't start this shit again.
WE.
DON'T.
WANT.
TO.
HEAR.
IT.

File: 59ana.webm (853KB, 488x296px) Image search: [Google]

853KB, 488x296px

>>30300212
>implying I even reply to those prompts

But while I'm replying to this post in particular...

>wanting to be with someone other than her husband

You could have worded it as 'wanting a threesome' or fucking anything but that. If I didn't know better I'd think you'd almost want people to call you a cuck for drama or something. That phrase on its own and taken at face value is pretty much 100% adultery. The c word is a type of adultery. So it's not exactly a complete misnomer, boyo. The only concession I'll give you, because I'm not one of your usual detractors, is if it takes place in a herds setting. Then it's fair game since everyone is already some type of polyslut, but if this is supposed to be a monogamous Equestria...Mmm, no. They're not exactly wrong, unless the wife returns the favor with an MFF threesome. It's cuckshit depending on her reasons and whether or not the husband plays with another mare later to even it out. Very borderline.

>But that's not right! I'll have y-

Save it. I don't care, and I'm not changing my mind. So don't waste your time. And I also don't care if you post MMF prompts or stuff like that.

Someone has a detracting opinion but also isn't playing content cop. Wow, a fucking Christmas miracle, but really because I've been on this site for 10 years and this isn't my first general. I'm sick of your routine meta shit, kids.

This is also the last (You), you'll get from me. Don't worry, some other idiot will almost certainly reply to one of the posts in this reply chain to shout at you. You and him can dp the thread into a trainwreck. And that's what you want, right?

>>30299238
What happens if you knock up a dragon?

>>30300391
Half-dragons.

File: pathetic begging.png (65KB, 272x99px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 272x99px

So I want to go through the writebin and read everything that's in there, but I only have access to the internet for about 2-ish hours per day. Is there a way to download pastebin files en masse?

>>30299550
The story that started it all was about Twilight cheating on Anon. Some people can't into logic and have never ceased to scream 'cuck general' since.

Not that it matters though, now that it's dead.

File: It's time to stop.png (375KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

375KB, 1280x720px

>>30300212
>still trying to stir up shit
Fuck off, clown.

>>30300464
open paste-bin
open note pad
copy
paste

>>30300339
All that matters is that people are allowed to talk about ponies cheating on others if they want to.

>>30300127
>>30300103
>>30299971
How about fuck all three of you.

File: HiAnon.png (103KB, 666x666px) Image search: [Google]

103KB, 666x666px

"HI ANON !"
"I SHAT UP YOUR THREAD !"
"AGAIN !"

File: 1481468862827.png (1MB, 2724x2112px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2724x2112px

>>30300241
>>30300339
>>30300741
Don't reply to the obvious bait folks, just report and move on. Here, I'll help. What would you guys do when the show team manager starts hitting on you at work when no one can catch her harassing you?

>>30300948
Aggressively flirt back, with barely hidden references to pinning her and doing LOOD things to her. She'll either back off or be really excited. It's a win either way.

>>30301040
Ah, but challenge mode, it is against the rules for employee relationships(hence why she does it when no one can catch her), and she gets adventurous. How would you go about playing with each other when a co worker drops by, or a manger comes in the room? Harder mode, you have a very small work desk(being human after all), so you cant have her hide under it without being seen getting sucked off. And the boss mares desk is large, but shallow, if you are under it then you have a high risk of someone seeing a bit of you popping out.

>>30301068
>if you are under it then you have a high risk of someone seeing a bit of you popping out.
Challenge accepted

>>30300391
Todd Howard releases skyrim again

>>30300948
>>30301040
>The hardass Captain Spitfire has a thing for gentle maledom, and to a lesser extent, pred/prey play.
>After a long day of screaming at bumbling recruits and doing the work of her less competent team members, she just wants to come home to a loving stallion and not be in charge for once.
>Too bad such a thing won't be happening, since she scares most stallions... Hell, none of them can even stutter out a reply when she flirts with them. She can't just drop her public personality either.
>Looks like another lonely night home.
>Alone.

>>30299932
I decidedly warm and fuzzy post. Thing of beauty that was. Thanks NoF. I needed that.

>>30300103
And here (you) come with a dose of reality but with a dash of hope.

I think these two posts make a compelling prompt. A green of yearning, of unconditional love, of success so close yet so far away until the day the path between worlds is found/created. Friendships and relationships now given the ability to grow in the waking realm allowing the dreams to come true.

>>30300464
>>30300831
Actually, there is a download button in the text frame. It is not 'en masse' but doesn't take long either. It's what I typically do for my favorite greens. Then I create .epub files out of them using Calibre and throw them on my tablet for reading later.

>>30300948
It depends on if you're receptive to her advances or not. Personally, I would be and would flirt back like >>30301040 suggests and let things develop outside the office if possible.

>>30301068
>You're fucking your boss. She's a surly, bitter mare who is just a handful of years away from 40
>It all started with some mean-spirited and somewhat sexist flirting from her. She never in a million years expected you to rise up and meet her halfway with some alien banter.
>Then the flirting became genuine.
>She said you didn't have the nerve to follow through one day, and have sex with her in a broom closet.
>A sweaty hour later, she's sitting in your lap and panting, feeling just like a horny teen in highschool again and realizing that she still has time for those missed opportunities.
>It's the worst kept company secret that you and her bang, but everyone keeps turning a blind eye because of how mellow and happy the bosslady is now.
>Then, a new intern from the local University starts, and gets all the wrong ideas from what goes on...

>>30301068
>it is against the rules

>have a random pony walk in on you railing the captain Spitfire on her desk
>they run away screaming something about the rules
>five minutes later Spitfire walks out of her office in a weird red and blue helmet
>stares down the confused team members before shouting them out of the room
>"I AM THE LAW"

Would mares call their ships "him"?

>>30301394
Actually, why do we even call ships "her"?

>>30301325
This pleases me greatly though someone should take the new intern aside an explain what's going on before they ruin it for everyone.

>>30301450
That answer is actually lost to time. The most plausible theory I think is because ships were traditionally given female names.

>>30301450
I'm quoting from a site I found elsewhere:

>There are several theories about how this came to be. One is that since the word for “ship” in the languages of the Mediterranean was feminine, the gender of the ship remained the same even in languages in which the word for ship or boat was male or gender-neutral. Another theory is that since boats were traditionally given female names, they became associated with women.

>In addition, working boats and ships were historically manned by all-male crews. Some ships, like whaling ships, would be at sea for years at a time, and would have a closer relationship with the boat than the mothers, wives, or sweethearts they left behind on shore. Legend has it that ships would sometimes behave like women too, with their own personalities and the specific ways they liked to be handled.

>>30301508
huh, that's neat

>>30301583
Also men just like riding women.

File: 3pxBQ.gif (628KB, 245x242px) Image search: [Google]

628KB, 245x242px

>>30301508
>specific ways they liked to be handled.
>mfw lewd ships that loved to be caressed by their captain and crew

File: 1496195652878.jpg (42KB, 480x542px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 480x542px

>>30301682
>that groaning isn't the wood settling

File: 1445485932120.png (157KB, 1034x911px) Image search: [Google]

157KB, 1034x911px

>>30300391
Something magical.

>>30300948
>Tell her you're gay

File: 1402866801165.jpg (30KB, 357x282px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 357x282px

>>30301950
Not again!

>>30301980
>Just kidding, I only needed you to open your mouth extra wide. Your so cute when your pissed.

>>30301980
Not again what?

File: 1406927670908.png (6KB, 371x469px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 371x469px

>>30301989
>your pissed.

>>30302004
She had a bad chance to constantly hit on gay stallions by accident. So be sure to really give it too her.
>>30302023
Its okay bookhorse, you can take it. You're going to be fine.

>>30302030
>So be sure to really give it too her.
I can let her watch while I really give it to someone else.

>Zephyr Breeze tries to hit on Dash
>Mid-flirt, Anon comes breezing in with a "Hey, babe" and a peck on Rainbow's cheek
>Engage wingboner.exe
>Then he goes over and pets Fluttershy
>Zephyr is pissed that someone has nabbed Dash and is with his sister
>So not fair!
>His attempts of coltish intimidation don't even register to Anon, much to Rainbow and Fluttershy's amusement
>When Anon gets in a fist/hoof fight with Spitfire, Zephyr is intimidated
>And baffled when he sees them drinking moonshine after, like best buds
>Who are each missing some teeth

File: 1494666503944.gif (115KB, 818x480px) Image search: [Google]

115KB, 818x480px

>>30302023

>>30302064
Anon purposely misspelling and mispronouncing things to troll Twilight, Glimmer, Shimmer, Trixie, and Moondancer would be hilarious.

File: 1497307806966.jpg (280KB, 831x745px) Image search: [Google]

280KB, 831x745px

>>30302056
Sounds fun.

>>30302056
The only right thing to do is to ask Zephyr if he wants to hang out sometime and get to know him a little better.

File: 124415__UNOPT__safe_artist-http--fwdslsh--fwdslsh-www-period-pixiv-period-net-fwdslsh-member-illust-period-php-ques-mode-eq-medium-and-illust-id-eq-30853838-and-from-sid-eq-496510220_flutetrshy.jpg (235KB, 1301x1240px) Image search: [Google]

235KB, 1301x1240px

>>30302056
>"Mom, why do Mommy Spitfire and Dad miss some teeth?"
"Umm..."

>>30302079
The REEEEEE of the nerdpones turns into moans if you listen long enough.
>>30302086
Dash feels awkward about getting ready to fuck her man with her boss, but just rolls with it after she gets some cider in her.
>>30302103
Teach him the way of picking up chicks. Sensei Anon when?

File: 1483121662779.jpg (633KB, 2560x2143px) Image search: [Google]

633KB, 2560x2143px

>>30302110
They fell down some stairs. Both of them.

>>30302056
Someone did a short where Zephyr tried to ask Rainbow out after doing a year or so of soul searching and self-improvement. He comes back to find her married with a young and canine toothed foal. It was deliciously heartbreaking.

File: 1490561183193.png (2MB, 1133x1580px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1133x1580px

>>30302134
That sounds pretty sad. Pretty great for Anon though.

>>30302139
Yeah I wasn't really fan of it.

File: 1396986585069.png (298KB, 700x700px) Image search: [Google]

298KB, 700x700px

Where is my eternal immortal benevolent sexist Celestia.

>>30302112
>Teach him the way of picking up chicks
Or, if things keep going south for him, share one of the girls with him. Maybe Fluttershy is secretly into incest?

File: 1495492863799.png (154KB, 700x700px) Image search: [Google]

154KB, 700x700px

>>30302159
>share one of the girls
Stopped reading. They're mine, you fucker.

>>30302134
Do you have a link, Anon?

File: 1440616011156.jpg (60KB, 686x735px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 686x735px

>>30302167
I love how Fluttershy smiles at RD sleep drooling on Anon's chest.

File: 1466200101724.gif (93KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 300x300px

>>30301989

>>30302056
>>30302134
>Being such a loser that in a world where your sex is (probably) outnumbered 3 to 1 you still can't get a date.
I don't think even the average nor/mlp/erson is that unlikable.

File: 9534491f489ede814f14f64f959ae93c.jpg (276KB, 1680x1050px) Image search: [Google]

276KB, 1680x1050px

>>30302157
>Every few years the media digs up shit she said before their parents were born and she gets shit on by stallionists and political pundits.
>She also has a political gaffe every other decade by saying something that would have been acceptable decades, sometimes a century or two, ago.

>>30302190
Pretty sure a damn good chunk are kissless, handholdless virgins.

>>30302190
A nor/mlp/erson would shape up really fast with mare puss at stake. Also Zephyr and Dash is like a the ugly girl you politely don't talk about gunning for an A list celeb. It's just not going to happen.

>>30302190
>Unless you're completely unlikable.

>>30302167
>What is a threeway?

File: 1487194872334.gif (283KB, 949x949px) Image search: [Google]

283KB, 949x949px

>>30302079
Actually, I wrote that once. Sort of.

>Your fingers once more snap close as you grasp nothing but air.
>For Celestia's sake, why would a tiny horse even need a bookshelf this tall?
>And wouldn't it just be reasonable to have a ladder by it?
>Feeling yet another straw of your patience break, you decide to improvise.
>You put your leg on one of the shelves and use it to leverage yourself up.
>Then you do the same about half a meter higher.
>The damn thing was really tall, tall enough to have you scale it like a climbing wall.
>It's not the most civilised way to use a library, but then again it is not a civilised library if there is no fucking ladder to reach for the books.
>But before you mentally pat yourself on the back for the job well done the book you've been trying to reach becomes enveloped in a purple mist before floating sideways.
>A smug giggle that rings in the air afterwards causes your teeth to grit.
>"Oh Anon, I told you to call me if you need my help. Why must you be so stubborn and refuse a help of a strong mare?"
>You jump down with a thud that causes the Purplesmart to wince.
"I wouldn't need your help if you were so smart as to add a way for a normal creature to reach the top shelf. Y'know, like a ladder. Rings any bells?"
>You are not sure if that still counts as being 'passive' aggressive, but you're pissed at Twiggly Wiggly's antics at this point.
>But instead of being taken aback by your outburst, Twilight just clicks her tongue.
>"Don't be such a silly, in Equestria having magic is perfectly normal. And even if it wasn't, I can just fly up and grab it in an instant."
>At that she flaps her wings twice.
>Only to show off too - you know her well enough at that point.
>You reach your hand out for the book still floating in the purple glitter.

File: 1443175_safe_artistcolonwcctnoam_starlightglimmer_aroyalproblem_spoilercolons07e10_bed_layingdown_simplebackground_solo_transparentbackgroun.png (44KB, 615x384px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 615x384px

>>30302167
>>30302236

>>30302238
"And what, pray tell, are your loyal earth pony subjects supposed to do without magic or wings, oh wise princess?"
>You have found over time that mentioning her title tends to knock her off of the high horse.
>Heh.
>Sure enough, Twilight starts to sputter before she manages to collect herself.
>"W-well, uhh... They can always, uh, ask for help. Yes, ask for my help. Because they always know I'll be there for them."
>The book of discord is levitated towards your waiting palm, but not yet released.
>Looking over to the purple dork your worst fears are confirmed.
>She is going to try flirting with you.
>Again.
>Her eyes are half lidded, and she awkwardly bites her lower lip before saying in what was supposed to be a deep, breathy tone.
>"And if you need help with anything, I'll always be there for you too Anon."
>The emphasis on 'anything' causes you to cringe despite the damn book finally landing in your hand.
>"Remember that you can knock me up anytime."
>...
>You deadpan and tilt you head just a notch waiting for Twilight to process her own words.
>And sure enough, she does.
>Her cheeks start turning deeper and deeper shades of red, like that one stripe in her mane.
>With a soft pomf her wings flare outwards into what you would call 'a half chub', and she cover her face with a hoof.
>"I-I meant hit! H-hit me up! A-anytime. As in write to me. Or ask me. Yes, n-nothng else, ha ha!"
>You just continue to stare her down, a small smirk of your own creeping on the edge of your lips.
>"I, uhh, have to go n-now. See y-you later Anon."

File: 1492306514845.png (429KB, 813x734px) Image search: [Google]

429KB, 813x734px

>>30302248
>And like that she was gone.
>Fucking magic.
>Fucking Twilight.
>If it wasn't for her own social ineptitude sabotaging her plans of romantic conquests, your life would be much harder.
>She still managed to piss you off mind you.
>The whole "strong and able mare" bullshit.
>Why of all places you had to land in a world where tiny pastel mares were confident with a religious conviction that they are the alpha and the omega?
>Why did so many of them feel the need to prove it?
>If you were a psychologist you might have braved a guess that they were insecure about something.
>Especially Twilight.
>Oh hey, it's an alien who came from the world deprived of magic, let's tease him about it endlessly.
>Assholes.
>And the likes of Rainbow Dash weren't any better.
>Wings this, gottagofast that.
>Bunch of horseapples.
>Heh.
>You notice that you have been squeezing the hard cover of your book extra hard.
>Your knuckles were now white.
>You know, ma' always said that bottling anger is no way.
>And pa' always added that it's best to unbottle it on someone else.
>An evil idea sprouts in your head.
>The purple dork will be gone for a while now, relieving her spaghetti spillage in every detail.
>And before you was something she cherished the most.
>Books, all sorted in a perfect alphabetical order.
>You barely manage to suppress a chuckle as you get to work.

This was done before GlimGlam anger bottle antics, I swear

>About a dozen minutes later you're done.
>Your masterpiece is now at full display for everyone entering the room to see.
>And by everyone you mean Twilight.
>And by masterpiece you mean her Encyclopaedia Canterlotica rearranged by you.
>Most of the tomes were now placed in a different spot, picked randomly.
>They were also turned around, so that the covers were not visible.
>With an exception to the selected few tomes.
>Tomes C, F, I, K, O, T, U, V, W, Y.
>And since everything around them was just white paper, the message those spelled was clear enough.
>"FVCK YOU TWI".
>There was also some miscellaneous damage around that, but those three words were the centrepiece.
>Content with all your life choices, you make it for the exit.
>You wouldn't want to overstep your guest privileges, now would you?
>Continuously giggling to yourself like a madman, you open the main door with one hand while pulling your coat with the other.
>And then you freeze.
>Not because it was snowing outside either.
>You stare at your fluffy coat, safely resting in your right hand.
>Then at the hanger on which it was placed by you about half an hour ago.
>Hanger that was standing about 2 meters away from you.
>Did you just...
>A pained scream break your train of thought and reminds you that you probably should see yourself out.
>The last thing you can hear before the door closes behind you causes your giggle fit to come back.
>"THAT'S NOT EVEN HOW YOU SPELL IT!"

It was supposed to be "Anon gets magic from causing chaos", but I'm a lazy shitter and it's just that.

>>30302251
Oh you sadistic bastard, do more.

File: 1419416299285.png (158KB, 553x791px) Image search: [Google]

158KB, 553x791px

>>30302236
What part of MINE are you not understanding?

File: 1492540502564.gif (1MB, 369x369px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 369x369px

>>30302259 was supposed to reply to >>30302251
I am not a smart man

>>30302310
Man those legs and butt must be amazing with that workout.

File: 1478244760720.png (585KB, 820x800px) Image search: [Google]

585KB, 820x800px

>>30302248
>>"Remember that you can knock me up anytime."
Nice.

>>30302259
>>Did you just...
Is magic being implied here?

>>30302248
>>30302347
Inept ponies are funny.

>>30302357
Yeah. Like last line said, the original prompt was "Anon gets magic like Discord, by causing unspeakable chaos." The idea was then that "unspeakable chaos" is literally swapping books on a shelf.

>>30302268
Second this

>>30302347
>You roll your eyes as Twilight nearly screams trying to push your soon-to-be newborn son out.
>Idly, you rub the hoof you're holding with a thumb as your wife-in-all-but-paperwork takes deep breaths, nearly hyperventilating.
"Geez, take it easy, Twilight. Deep breaths."
>She growls and glares at you. "Easy for you to-AAAAHHHH!" She cuts herself off with another painful contraction.
>"Miss Sparkle! Just keep pushing, and don't stress out!" One of the near panicking doctors pleads.
>Apparently ponies have relatively quick and painless births.
>But since your little bundle of joy has human heritage, he's larger than the average foal.
>Which meant a human style birth, agony and 7 hour labor included.
"Was it worth?"
>Twi barely gets a glare in before yelping and going cross-eyed from the pain.

File: 1415470227589.png (837KB, 1280x1745px) Image search: [Google]

837KB, 1280x1745px

>>30302402
wew

File: TheLaw.jpg (47KB, 682x368px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 682x368px

>>30301370
>>five minutes later Spitfire walks out of her office in a weird red and blue helmet
>>stares down the confused team members before shouting them out of the room
>>"I AM THE LAW"

Then anon bursts out yelling "No, I AM!"

>>30302421
Didn't someone write green where Anon's son chest-bursted its way out of the mare?

I remember him turning to a horrified Celestia and saying, "See, that right there isn't normal for us".

>>30302452
That sounds amazing. Please link.

File: 1461029__safe_artist-colon-arthur9078_artist-colon-heir-dash-of-dash-rick_rainbow+dash_angry_hat_nurse_nurse+outfit_open+mouth_pony_simple+background_s.png (476KB, 1372x800px) Image search: [Google]

476KB, 1372x800px

>>30302402

>>30302259
More, dammit, more!

File: 1414704966465.png (471KB, 1028x1024px) Image search: [Google]

471KB, 1028x1024px

>>30302469
Yeah, be more like Dash. She gave birth to her foal like a champ, a REAL mare.

>>30302495
It can be over really fast too apparently.

File: 1489714211459.jpg (24KB, 324x360px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 324x360px

>>30301682
>RGRE ships are traditionally thought of as male, because the all-mare crews would claim the ships to have finicky personalities, and were prone to bouts of stallionish whimsy.

For the past ~1200 years, ships have all had various penis-themed images carved into the rudder (because every stallion needs a cock, and "rudder" sounded a lot like "rutter" to less-educated and horny mares alike).

>>30302110
Pony dentistry tends to be portrayed as at least on par with human dentistry (most likely via magic work-arounds).
Seeing as how Spitfire is world-famous, she's no doubt financially well off, if not quite wealthy.

It'd make more sense if they could afford magical tooth regrowth sessions.

>>30302556
Yeah, but then I could not have written the two lines.

>>30302556
Didn’t Applebloom drink a potion that derped her busted teeth back into being fine?

File: 283699__UNOPT__safe_twilight-sparkle_traditional-art_zecora_pixiv_cauldron_51577283a4c72d7ab0000fd2.jpg (244KB, 1000x692px) Image search: [Google]

244KB, 1000x692px

>>30302571
Yes.

>>30302112
>Dash feels awkward about getting ready to fuck her man with her boss, but just rolls with it after she gets some cider in her.

Oh please, Dashie getting a chance to have sex with a wonderbolt would be a dream she's had since the moment she started to hit puberty (regardless of the fact that she's a wonderbolt herself now).

Given half a chance, Dash would bury her face snout-deep in Spitfire's marehood and lap away at it with gusto.

>>30302466
I don't have the link, unfortunately.

Sorry, Anon.

>>30302520
>The pride of Equestrian Navy is the Starswil the Bearded, a modern Galleon with the largest, bronze cast battering ram in the recorded history.
>The galleons have no reason for having battering rams at the front, because of canons.
>Celestia insisted anyway.

>>30302606
Is cool, bro.

File: 1487204917706.gif (383KB, 400x398px) Image search: [Google]

383KB, 400x398px

>>30302181
Dash: "Enjoying the view?"
Anon: "..."
Anon: "Alright, fine." *grabs RD's tail and yanks her down*
Dash: "A-anon, what are you doing?!"
Anon: *undoes belt and drops pants*
Dash: "Stallions don't do this in real life, this only happens in Twilight's animus!"
Anon: "Shhhh, stop talking and lift your tail."
Dash: *Squee!*

File: what the fuck.png (555KB, 3300x3140px) Image search: [Google]

555KB, 3300x3140px

>>30302619
>:
>*
Please lurk more.

>>30302495
>Rainbow decides one is enough after her torturous 15 hour labor. While being petite and streamlined is great for flying, it's not great for giving birth to a larger than normal foal.

>>30302613
The bowsprit extends from between the figurehead's legs.

File: 1483571206055.jpg (491KB, 1881x2895px) Image search: [Google]

491KB, 1881x2895px

>>30302637
She'd be more ready for the next one though, both in body and mind.

>>30302619
Delete your shame.

>>30302637
The first one is always the hardest my mother said. Push more, shout less.

>>30302637
>>30302666
Doesn't their bone structure permanently shift around the hips after a birth? Wouldn't future children be easier?

Or do their hips return to their original shape some time after pregnancy?

>>30301935
Sounds like a good experiment for Anon to perform with Ember.

>>30302681
The joint between the two pubic bones at the front of the pelvis softens during pregnancy and can stretch a little during labour.

File: 1465545199121.gif (818KB, 1280x807px) Image search: [Google]

818KB, 1280x807px

>>30302696
sounds fun

File: 1493186424007.jpg (504KB, 1248x2472px) Image search: [Google]

504KB, 1248x2472px

>>30302238
>>A smug giggle that rings in the air afterwards causes your teeth to grit.
>>"Oh Anon, I told you to call me if you need my help. Why must you be so stubborn and refuse a help of a strong mare?"

"I'm a primate, Twilight. Climbing is what we DO! You don't see me talking down to you for eating hay or nickering, now do you?"

>>30302714
You madman.

>>30302714
Fuck yeah. Hand holding.

>>30302696
Turns out that human-dragon mating lead to live birth instead of the expected egg laying.

File: 1487904759958.jpg (87KB, 677x960px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 677x960px

>>30302652

File: 1494684599431.png (107KB, 600x691px) Image search: [Google]

107KB, 600x691px

>>30302787
Oh man, I'm imagining a dragoness finding this terrifying and freaking the fuck out.

File: 1492312856871.png (738KB, 1239x1067px) Image search: [Google]

738KB, 1239x1067px

>>30302643
>>30302613
>Admiral's quaters are located on the front of the ship.
>The are literally riding the D

I now want a story with dirty, vulgar sailor mares. You know, how the sterotypical human sailor would be, but on mare.

>>30302803
A big bad dragon queen says (unconvincingly) she doesn't need help, but you'll be there for anyway. You're the jewel of her hoard after all.

>>30302803
Thinking about it, for a dragoness of sufficient size, live birth would be less painful than laying an egg, since babies are already about the size of baby dragons, which must be smaller than the egg.
Would probably feel really weird though.

>>30302918
>Convince dragon waifu that love and family are the greatest of treasures.
>Her power suddenly jumps several magnitudes, and jumps again every time she has another child with you.
>Before long, she's standing on the same plateau as the alicorns, Discord, and other worldly powers.
>All because she loves her family.

File: 1450766605524.jpg (274KB, 700x847px) Image search: [Google]

274KB, 700x847px

>>30302962
d'aww

File: 1920x1080_wallpaper.jpg (1MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1920x1080px

>>30302962
Something cheesy about riding the dragon.

>>30302940
>Claws
>Teeth
>Spines
>Scales

>>30303310
>claws covered in soft fleshy growths
>why would teeth be a problem
>spines and scales soft and malleable

>>30302918
>>30302962
>>30302968
We NEED some rgre dragon green.

File: 1483900556372.jpg (258KB, 600x990px) Image search: [Google]

258KB, 600x990px

>>30303512
It has an easy buildup too. Anon can be kidnapped as a fair maiden equivalent, then you can do all the silly adventurers flailing about to rescue him too.

File: 1435188853034.jpg (43KB, 748x730px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 748x730px

>>30303512
>>30303544
I have a MIGHTY NEED.

File: sadpone.png (178KB, 613x439px) Image search: [Google]

178KB, 613x439px

>>30299932
Im not crying its liquid pain seeping from my eyes.

File: 1494906546481.png (188KB, 700x700px) Image search: [Google]

188KB, 700x700px

>>30303580
I know that feel.

>>30302962
>ywn fuck your waifu into a zenkai boost

Anon making out with stallions to get mares attention when?

File: 1496953963379.jpg (316KB, 768x1892px) Image search: [Google]

316KB, 768x1892px

>>30304021
Fuck off, Nigger. Quit kicking the hornet's nest.

>>30304068
That horse is extremely relatable.

>>30304068
Don't respond to the bait poster, just report and ignore. Also I want to give that horse a hug.

>>30304068
Stop responding you faggot, you're just as bad with your retarded back and forth for a hundred posts.

>>30304202
I don't give a shit about faggotry in my RGRE, I just want the bullshit baiting and arguing to stop.

File: 1496115855501.gif (423KB, 400x300px) Image search: [Google]

423KB, 400x300px

>>30304202
>>30304068
>>30304108
Everyone feels the need to respond saying to not respond
Oh my fucking kek

File: IMG_0835.jpg (51KB, 700x367px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 700x367px

>>30304068
The horse....

File: 1492615026350.gif (3MB, 768x432px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 768x432px

>>30302727
We have pics the mods like.

File: 1482104189684.png (1MB, 1500x1200px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1500x1200px

>>30304388
Remember to give lots of affection and treats to your mare.

File: 1495433242037.jpg (350KB, 1280x1560px) Image search: [Google]

350KB, 1280x1560px

>>30304649
o-oh my

somehow the panties loosely hanging off of her hind leg make it even lewder

>>30304665
Its like she was grabbed by her lewd succuboi in her animus, and now she is going to be fucked silly.

File: 1476148455843.gif (2MB, 864x484px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 864x484px

>>30302520
>prone to bouts of stallionish whimsy
>"CAPTAIN WE'RE HEADING INTO THE ROCKS!"
>"Don't worry las! He knows what he's doing!"
>The crew of the HMS Anon were never seen again

File: 1370112731270.jpg (68KB, 550x627px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 550x627px

>>30304792
Nice.

File: stock-photo-the-bow-of-a-traditional-wooden-boat-with-teak-deck-hardwood-bowsprit-with-blue-sea-and-blue-sky-211845961.jpg (65KB, 450x368px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 450x368px

>>30304800
>the only thing that remains is the large penis shaped bow wedged between two boulders

>>30304792
INCUBUS. THE MALE TERM IS INCUBUS.

>>30304800
>>30304876
Reminds me of a time when I read a bit about some of the Sinbad stuff and how at one point, he rammed his ship into a bunch of rocks thinking that there was some sort of adventure behind them.

At least I think it was like that. All I know is that he always returns unscathed with mountains of treasure thanks to his crew suddenly dying and clearing up the decks for even more gold!

>>30304946
>All I know is that he always returns unscathed with mountains of treasure thanks to his crew suddenly dying and clearing up the decks for even more gold!

The tried and true pirate way of "corporate downsizing". See also Blackbeard and the stranding of the "Queen Anne's Revenge" in 1718.

>>30304919
But he's giving her clit the succ.

>>30304800
>"Captain, we're going to crash into that fucking rock."

>>30305166
>"Did you say FUCKING rock?! FULL SPEED AHEAD! STEADY AS HE GOES!"

File: Rock_Carlos.png (970KB, 1280x727px) Image search: [Google]

970KB, 1280x727px

>>30305166
>>30305291
She's joining your crew.

>>30302199
>"...AND FURTHER MORE"
>celestia raises her hoof while still sipping her tea
>everypony stops speaking
"looks out the south window"
>everypony scrambles to the windows trying to see what the princess is talking about
"see the badlands from here?"
>everypony is puzzled
>the stallionists are so confused they almost forgot why they were here
>"princess dont igno-"
"Do you know WHY its dusty and lifeless?"
>the stallionists start shaking but push their luck
>"i-if you t-think intimidating us is gonna sto-"
"it is my field"
>ponies are confused further
>"the field where i grow my fucks"
>the stallionists gasp, mare try to hold in their laughter, the prisser stallionists faint
>"Lay thine eyes upon it and see that its barren"
>daintily sips her tea

File: 1495444435987.png (374KB, 960x960px) Image search: [Google]

374KB, 960x960px

>>30305440
Would marry.

>>30305440
My god, she deserves all of my dick, ALL OF IT! For she has done the impossible, SHE WON THE GAME!

File: medium(9).png (324KB, 793x600px) Image search: [Google]

324KB, 793x600px

>>30305488
>Celestia got how many scoops?!

>>30305440
"I can tell you know all about large plots being barren."
>You spew the tea out like a firehose
>You see Anon, the alien stallion form another dimension, standing there with a smirk upon his face
>He slowly struts his slender bipedal body over to you
"Lucky for you-"
>You can fell his warm breath on your neck
"I'm a Master in Botany."
>He slaps a piece of paper down in front of you
"Name's Anon, give me a call whenever you need some seeds planted somewhere deep"
>He exits the room, leaving you in you in a stupor
>What the hell is this strip of paper for?

>>30304792
succuboi sounds better though

>>30305733
to faggots maybe

>>30305783
Yeah and Super Smash Bros is totally a fighting game.

>>30305791
jokes on you. I don't play smash bros

>>30305605
>"And that's how I met your father!"

>>30305575
one scoop

but also TWO CAKES

File: reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.png (266KB, 800x451px) Image search: [Google]

266KB, 800x451px

>>30305896
>spoiler

IMPEACH PRINCESS CELLULITE

File: she mad.png (133KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 600x600px

Mino story incoming with a quick sketch because I don't have the time to pretty it up right now.

>"IF THINGS GO DOWN THE SHITTER, DON'T BE A QUITTER!"
>CRASH
>"STOP HER! SHE'S CRAZY!"

>You are Anon the Annoyed.
>Right now your minotaur girlfriend Maritia just jumped through a window wielding what you suspect is a "borrowed" spear and a Canterlot Guard shield that may as well be a buckler because of her size.
>Meanwhile, you yourself are standing on the stage of a karaoke bar watching an admitedly intense standoff with an angry verbal exchange between her and a group of grypons without the slightest idea what the fuck is going on.
>All you know is that you were karaoking with your minotaur girlfriend during what was supposed to be a relaxing trip to Canterlot and suddenly you are a hostage.
>Turns out that the weird pone music magic is very much real and it was a very bad idea to start singing Bonnie Tyler's "I Need a Hero."
>You also found out that Gryphons don't like Minotaurs very much and they thought that your girlfriend was keeping you under her control against your will.
>So after you finished, they went absolutely nuts and after a short scuffle, managed to somehow toss out your girlfriend, unsuspecting patrons and whiteknights and barracaded the karaoke bar with you inside.
>As nice as these gryphonesses were, you prefer the minotaur you've lived with for a year.
>Channeling your inner femme fatal, you were able to distract them enough to slip a note to your girlfriend through the door, demanding her to get you the fuck out of there.
>You would try and fight out yourself, but it's 3 on 1 and those claws look sharp as hell.
>Some of the other former patrons seemed to have called the guard and the gryphonesses are starting to get real antsy, arguing amongst themselves as they hatched a plan to somehow spirit you out of there and into Gryphon lands.

File: 1444514932805.png (28KB, 740x958px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 740x958px

>>30305944
>So here you are, standing at the stage, absolutely fucking flabbergasted at how fast this shit managed to escalate.
>You tried to reason with them, getting your mack on in an attempt to appeal to their ovaries so you can slip out through the front.
>When that sort of failed, but not without some intense blushes from your "defenders", you explored a bit, hoping that this place had a back door.
>It did, but it was locked up pretty damn tight and you suspect that the barmare got the hell out of there with the key when things really started to get ugly.
>As you returned to the main room, you were greeted to Mari busting through the window.
>Not all that different to what you did when Twilight tried to do your physical instead of the colt that normally did it, you noted.
>Though you did use the chair in there to make sure the damn thing broke so you didn't just plaster yourself to the window.
>Maritia just seemed to bust through that bitch like a brick.
>She did look pretty menacing with the scratches and torn clothing from the glass, even though some of the cuts looked a little deep and were weeping blood.
>You sigh.
>Damn her stubborness sometimes, it's going to take you forever to patch her up.
>For that, you will use the extra stinging medical spray and ointment. That oughta teach her.
>Drawing your lips into a tight line, you ignore the standoff and monologue in front of you and mosey on to the bar, examining some of the bottles there.
>Picking up two interesting looking specimens, you weigh each in your hands before nodding to yourself.
>Applejack Daniels and Dos Equis.
>Nice.

File: 1444343842141.png (129KB, 431x869px) Image search: [Google]

129KB, 431x869px

>>30305952
>You are Maritia.
>And goddamn you did not think that through when you jumped through the window.
>Fuck that hurt.
>Shaking your head a bit, you force down the pain and stare down the three Catbird bitches in front of you, feeling the berserker fury flood you.
>You smile a bit when they flinch a bit as your eyes inevitably start to turn red.
"Let him go and I'll only beat you unconcious."
>The one in the middle's eyes light up in anger at your words.
>"No way, we know what you are up to and we're not going to back down, right girls?"
>Much to your disappointment, that seems to have brought the fight back into the two flanking the leader.
>"YEAH!"
"Too bad, he's mine."
>"HA! I doubt he wants to go with you."

>"Actually, I do.", a male voice slurs directly behind them.
>Your eyes widen in surprise as the gryphons squawk and whip around to undoubtably try and convince him otherwise.
>But right as they do a rather large metal folding chair flattens the one on the left.
>An empty Dos Equis bottle is next as a seemingly drunk human swings it down onto the one on the right, connecting with her head and knocking her out.
>Not strong enough for any lasting damage, as the bottle glanced off the top right of the gryphoness' skull and is flung from Anon's hand.
>Taking a huge swig of the Applejack Daniels, almost completely draining it, Anon then screams like an angry ram and immediately charges the leader.
>You yourself start to charge, not wanting him to get torn up by the gryphon's claws from her inevitable panic swing, thrusting the butt of your spear to try and knock her off balance, lest you accidentally run your beau through, swinging your hand with the shield in a punching motion for a fast one-two in order to end the fight quickly before Anon gets there.
>Your expression turns to panic as Anon gets to the gryphon first, bottle of Applejack Daniels clenched firmly in his fist.
>You will never forget what happened next.

File: Maritia is absolutely fucking flabbergasted.png (137KB, 550x550px) Image search: [Google]

137KB, 550x550px

>>30305956
>Slipping on a spilled drink, he falls backwards right as that panic swing from the gryphoness flys by, missing his face by inches.
>Still falling, one of his legs makes a large arc upwards, pushing into the right underside of the gryphon's beak, spinning her around.
>Just in the right position for the butt of your spear to impact into her midsection, tossing her into one prone form of an underling with a crash.
>You rush over to Anon, who was stumbling to his feet.
"Are you alright?!"
>He looks up at you and smiles, patting a breast a couple of times before stumbling off to the broken window, using the bottle still in his hand to clear the worst of the broken glass.
>"S'all good, you really need to loosen up, Mari. And you have some red on you."
>Your mouth works, but you fail to make any sounds as Anon drunkenly starts climb through the window right as the guard manage to bust through the barricade.
>Apparently they weren't expecting things to be resolved and were gawking at the strange sight of Anon attempting to get a leg over the windowsill, whistling.
>Looking to the stunned guardsmares, Anon grins.
>"How ya doin'?"
>With a final lurch, he flings himself through the window with a grunt and a thud and pokes his head back up through the window and looks at you.
>"You comin' Mari?"
>Heaving a heavy sigh and remembering your hurts, you drop the spear and shield and give an appologetic smile to the confused guard and make your way to the door they came in from.
"Coming dear."
>Not for the first time, you remember that he is definitely not like the males of this world.
>And as much as you would love to fully understand him and his nuances, you know for damn sure that it will never happen.
>But you know that the understanding will come in time.
>And that's good enough for you for now.

And done!

Next stop, some "hot husband visits the wife's workplace" shenanigans.

I'm getting tired of minoshit and all the cuck shitposting in this thread

>>30305969
I like it, I wish there was more.

File: bait.jpg (7KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 200x200px

>>30306033

Hiya, I just finished writing up and going over an update for the Sunset story I wrote.
This is a bigger one than usual, so it'll take a while to divide and dump.

Cont. from >>30222821
Cont. from Line 211 of https://pastebin.com/QydFV5Pf

>>30306103
>You are Flash Sentry.
>It's been several weeks since the Fall Formal.
>You are with some friends right outside the school, trying to delay the start of school day.
>Today turned to be more chillier than you expected.
>You shudder as a shiver makes its way down your spine.
>Attempting to warm yourself up, you huddle up and cross your arms, feeling the freezing and rigid leather of your jacket.
>You recoil as a breeze blows against your legs.
"Ugh. I am literally going to freeze to death here," you announce.
>"You think you have it bad? Try be outside in your soccer jerseys," says Soarin.
>"This is just nature telling us that these autumn styles are totally out of date," adds Scott Green, "But on the bright side, I can start work on my new line of winter clothes!"
>You groan.
"It better not be a repeat of last year. I do not need one of your coats ending up on fire because you decided to wrap it in Christmas lights."
>"Hey! It's not my fault that their wiring was faulty!"
>"Maybe you shouldn't have bought the lights from a ninety-nine cents store," suggests Norman.
>"But I spent all the budget on fabrics!"
>You hear a voice that you recognize from behind you.
>"...And so I remember shouting at her, the carrot still in my hands, 'Shut up, Applejack! Come back when you're a main character!'"
>You, along with many other students, turn your head towards the voice.
>You're met with the sight with that weird kid, Anon, walking alongside your ex-girlfriend, Sunset Shimmer.
>She tries to shrink away as she notices everyone staring at them, staring towards the ground as she tightens her grip on the straps of her bookbag.
>Anon, on the other hand, continues in his jaunty stride.
>Every conversation has been abruptly silenced as students stare at the two.
>"And so the friendship lesson that we can all take away from is this that 'Sometimes, you just gotta resort to physical violence.'"

>>30306111
>...It's weird to hear that coming out of the mouth of a guy.
>The duo makes their way into the school, leaving the students that bared witness to the scene in a state of shock and confusion.
>"You know... a lot of people are saying things about those two," Scott Green starts.
"Is that gossip I smell? Lay it on me, bro. It'll be nice to have some dirt on my ex."
>"Well I've heard that Sunset's been keeping Anon for herself."
"What's that even supposed to mean? You saying that they're together? Puh-lease!"
>"Yeah! As if!" Norman adds.
>"But listen man, Anon came here with that Twilight girl Flash liked, right? He's stuck here, so he's like homeless or whatever."
>"I see where you're going with this," Soarin says.
>"Uh, yeah. You see what I'm trying to say here?"
"Oh my god. You are not saying what I think you're saying."
>"But I am."
"We are going to spread this like wildfire."
>And maybe, just maybe, if that Twilight girl comes back, she'll drop Anon once she sees how much of a slut he is and take you instead.
>N-notice me.

>>30306120
>And never in your life would you think that a magical pony princess from another dimension would help you rekindle your friendships, but here you are.
>Classes are going to begin soon, but you're going to hang out with your friends for a while longer.
"'Ya know, these past weeks 'ave been pretty hectic, if 'ya ask me."
>"What makes you say that?" responds Rainbow Dash, a smirk on her face, "I mean, besides the fact that we a,l learned that we have these awesome magical powers? And not to mention one of our Fall Formal Princess candidates turned out to be a evil girl from another dimension that tried to enslave all of us."
>"W-well, I wouldn't exactly call her evil," Fluttershy stutters out, "maybe she's just misunderstood."
>"Um, emphasis on the whole enslaving part?" retorts Dash, arms crossed.
>This time, it's Rarity who speaks up against Dash.
>"Oh, come on now, Rainbow, don't speak so harshly. We did promise the princess that we'd forgive Sunset Shimmer and be friends with her."
>Pinkie Pie suddenly jumps in between the two girls, placing her hands on both their shoulders.
>"Yeah! And who in their right mind wouldn't want to make more friends?"
"Ah gotta say ah'm with Pinkie here. Holding a grudge ain't gonna do any good. Even so, what d'ya even have against her anyways."
>"Heh, so I guess you haven't heard the rumors, then," Dash says, removing Pinkie's hand from her shoulder.
"What are 'ya talk—"
>You cut yourself off as you catch sight of Sunset Shimmer walking with that queer guy Twilight brought from her world.
>Wasn't his name Annie?
>"...And so I remember shouting at her, the carrot still in my hands, 'Shut up, Applejack! Come back when you're a main character!'"
>...What in the Sam Hill?
>Sunset casts you and your friends a nervous glance, which she immediately redirects to the ground.
>That poor girl.
>"And so the friendship lesson that we can all take away from is this that 'Sometimes, you just gotta resort to physical violence.'"

>>30306125
>That ain't... that ain't a very good lesson.
>They walk through the fronts door, disappearing from the scene as quickly as they came.
>"That was... most certainly bizarre," comments Rarity, breaking the silence.
>"I didn't like the moral of that story very much," adds Fluttershy.
>"The irony of calling Applejack a background character! It's hilarious because it's so true!" Pinkie cries out, in hysterics.
"What's that even supposes 'ta mean? Y'all talking like our lives are part of a story or somethin'."
>Pinkie gets ready to respond, but Dash clears her throat, drawing everyone's attention back to her.
>"So, as I was saying, people are saying things about those two." she repeats, "I'm talking some real nasty stuff."
>You quirk an eyebrow at her.
"Y'all mean like gossip? Ah didn't know you were such a guy, Rainbow."
>"It's not gossip!" she quickly shouts back, fists clinched at her side, "Hear me out for a second. Picture Anon right after the Fall Formal. He can't return back to his world. And now he's a scared and abandoned guy in an unfamiliar world. Cold. Starving. "
>"Please stop... this is a bit too much for me," Fluttershy meekly interjects.
>"Oh my goodness!" Rarity exclaims, "That is just absolutely unacceptable! How did we not ever notice this!"
"Probably 'cause it didn't happen," you mumble.
>"Shh! AJ! Lemme finish!" Rainbow hisses, "Right, so Sunset Shimmer, down on her luck, decides to prey on the defenseless boy. She exploits Anon's familiarity of his original world, and convinces him to stay with her. Once she has him in her grasp, she forces him to do things against his will. Horrible, sexual things. Anon hates that the fact that he has to do all this, but he endures it all so that he could at least have a roof over his head."
"Where are y'all even getting this from?"
>"Reliable sources, AJ!"

>>30306130
>Fluttershy and Rarity look like they're on the verge of tears, and Pinkie's usually puffy hair looks somewhat deflated.
>You sigh.
"Girls, to be honest, it's best that we just drop this. We ain't gonna do anything based on rumo—"
>"We are going to confront Sunset about this!" Rarity exclaims, "I am a lady of class, and I cannot bear to see a gentleman suffer!"
>Rarity's sudden outburst earns you a few awkward stares from other students.
>This would be a very good time to step in.
>You grab her arm.
"Come on, Rarity. We ain't gonna create any more unnecessary drama that'll tear friendships apart. Those are the guys' jobs."
>Fluttershy speaks up.
>"But, Applejack, what if it's true! We can't just sit here and do nothing!"
>"Fluttershy's right! We're going to make Anon's face smile again!"
>Dash pumps her fists in the air.
>"Yeah! Let's do this!"
>You reach up and dip your stetson over your face.
"What 'ave ah gotten myself into?"

>>30306135
"YEAH!"
>You are Bulk Biceps!
>You are lifting weights!
>"Come on, buddy, you're almost there! Three more reps till you hit fifty!"
>You are lifting weights as your friend Anon spots you.
>You find it funny that Anon even thinks that you might not reach fifty.
"YEAH!"
>Your arms are achy.
>You're very sweaty.
>You're very tired.
>But you don't care.
"YEAH!"
>"Final stretch! Don't you give up on me now, you beautiful bastard!"
>Because the only thing you're focused on is lifting these weights!
"YEAH!"
>"YEAH!"
>You drop the bar on the rack, causing a loud clang to echo through the weight-training gym.
>"Awesome job, Bulk. I think's that's all for today."
>You give Anon a high-five.
>You and him are the only guys in the Body Improvement Club.
>For a while it was just you.
>You always felt like you could never relate to any of the other guys.
>It wasn't normal for a guy to be this dedicated to their muscles.
>Then Anon came along.
>Despite your differences, you and him found shared a common passion.
>And that was LIFTING WEIGHTS.
>And now... you don't feel as lonely anymore.
>Anon waves goodbye to the rest of the club as he heads towards the locker room.
>"Hey, Bulk? I'm running late for my job, so do you mind putting back the weights for me? Sorry for pinning this on you all of a sudden.
"YEAH!"
>Any reason to lift more weights was a good one.
>Anon pumps the little emblem of a barbell within a heart on his tank-top that reads "Love and Powerlifting."
>"Thanks dude, you're the best. See 'ya tomorrow."
>You wave goodbye to Anon as he runs into the boy's locker room.

>>30306141
>You take ten minutes to drink some water, towel off and relax.
>After that, you start to undo the clamps off the bar and move the weights.
>You hear footsteps on the hardwood of the gym.
>Turning your head to see who it was, you met with five girls.
>You recognize the pink one as Pinkie Pie.
>But who doesn't, though?
>"Hiya Bulky! I gotta question for you. Does a guy named Anon attend the Body Improvement Club?"
"YEAH!"
>"That's great! Did you just see him around these parts?"
"YEAH!"
>"Yes! So Where is he?"
"WORK!"
>"Waitwaitwait, so you're telling me that he's not here right now?"
"YEAH!"
>"Do mean 'yeah, he's here,' or 'yeah he's not here?'"
"YEAH!"
>"Oh, OK! Thanks for clarifying! You know where he works?"
"YEAH!"
>"Coolio! Can you give us the place and address?"
"YEAH!"
>"Thanks! Here, just type it into my phone!"
>She hands you her phone, which is encased in a hot pink cover with many stickies on it and accessories dangling off of it.
>Even you think that it's a bit overkill.
>You type in what she asked you to and return it to her.
>"'Canterlot Sushi,' huh? We got our lead, girls! Let's head out!"
>They leave the same way they came in.
>You hear "Thanks, Bulkyyyyyy" echo through the hallway.
>You get back to cleaning up the gym.
>You realize that you never asked them why they wanted to see Anon anyways.
>Oh well.
>It can't be that important if they never brought it up.

>>30306152
And that's all I have for now.
If you got any critiques on how I wrote the characters or any part of the green, please let me know. I'm aware that some characters might seem a little OoC.
Thanks for reading.

>>30305969
That was cute, if a little jumbled. It might have been better to start off with Anon singing, cut to him being held hostage/foalnapped, and then have Maritia jump through the window.

>>30306164
I'm sorry, the first thing I saw was Flash Sentry and my vision went red. What happened?

>>30306178
Thanks and I'll try that the next time I try another "damsel in distress" oneshot I love those

>>30306189
Transition from exposition into the rumor-spreading part:

Here's the part from one of the original prompt posts:
>Rumors circulate around the school once people learn Anon and Sunset live alone together.
>They think he's homeless and she's making him do sexual favors in exchange for shelter.
>In actuality, Anon and Sunset are total BFFs.

Apologies, there are some errors that I missed.

>>30306125
Is supposed to start with
>You are Applejack.

>a,l
Is "all"

File: smug doggo.png (130KB, 232x198px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 232x198px

>>30306189
>still mad at Flash
You can't be this autistic.

>>30306298
Not >>30306189 but I will never forget the waifu stealing cuck posting that plagued the board for months. Even if its not the characters fault directly its all I can associate Flash with.

>>30305961
This was great. More

File: 0bc652c9031984b897fda88d212e641621d88c2013cbcad02118af6beaa43644.jpg (82KB, 640x640px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 640x640px

>>30306298
>You can't be this autistic
Where do you think we are?

>>30305969
Not bad at all. I would love to read more AnonXMarita.

>>30306164
Top work as always RooRooRoo. Nice nod to our other based writefriend.

>>30305961
I entirely enjoyed this, Anon.

>>30306202
>total BFFs
So do they experiment with each other sexually, or does it take some convincing on Anon's part?

>>30306669
Nah, thats FWB.
Unless they are BFWBF, then they do.

Would you
https://derpibooru.org/825397

>>30306705
Would I?

>>30306709
Would you
https://derpibooru.org/825404

>>30306714
Would I?

>>30306717
Would you
https://derpibooru.org/825396

>>30306719
Would I?

>>30306705
>>30306709
>>30306714
>>30306717
>>30306719
>>30306721
I would.
https://derpibooru.org/341979

>>30306722
Yes
https://derpibooru.org/1375878

>>30306722
>>30306727
Some interesting related pics here.
https://derpibooru.org/1212706

>>30306705
>>30306714
>>30306719
>>30306722
Today I learned that I am not as much of a horsefucker as I thought.

File: 1497236252735.png (1MB, 882x767px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 882x767px

>>30306736
MEDIOCRE!

File: candyass.png (325KB, 486x600px) Image search: [Google]

325KB, 486x600px

Would you?

>>30306745
wew laddy

File: speek.jpg (18KB, 306x419px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 306x419px

>>30306745
That is fucking hot as fuck, dude

File: 1494724361466.jpg (209KB, 800x922px) Image search: [Google]

209KB, 800x922px

And here's something for all those Celestiafags out there.
https://derpibooru.org/1453374

>>30306033
Mino never was my favorite, but it's not terrible IMO.
The only real shit that annoys me no end is gay and cuck. That crap has no place in RGRE, because this general was created specifically to justify copious quantities of female attention.

Here's my favourite Panka Poo for all of you Ponko fags out there
https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/10/14/742743.jpg

>>30306812
That one is pretty great.

File: medium(10).png (138KB, 376x600px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 376x600px

>>30306812
Is RGRE Pinkie a cockslaying Trixie or super friendzoned along with hang-ups from her upbringing?

Come to think of it, is there even a Pinkie focused RGRE story?

>>30306839
Super fucking friendzoned.

>>30306839
I always preferred the idea that Pinkie is bisexual, and she swings "friends with benefits" status with ANYPONY inside of 24 hours.

Pinkie steals cupcake from Celestia, BOOM! By tomorrow evening Pinks will be snootle-deep in Celly's marehood.
New stallion in town? One "Hiya!" later and come sunrise she's washing his cum out of her mane.

>>30306839
Part of her *wants* to be a cockslaying Trixie, and it wouldn't be very difficult for her to pull off.

But that pesky amish pone upbringing gets in the way.

She doesn't want different dick every night. She wants a stallion that loves her and is gonna stick around for the long haul.

Who will Pinkie Promise to love her forever and ever.

>>30306745
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODSSSS
ANON POSTING LEEEEEEEEEWDS

>>30306857
>The friendly girl is a whore eccs dee
Anon please, that's too cliche

>>30306839
>Pinkie is a cuddleslut
>Having no sense of personal space will do that

>But not an actual slut
>Becuase >>30306862

>>30306972
Mind posting more?

>>30307027
I would love to, but I gotta get to work in 5 hours.

>>30307027
Besides being against the rules, you would be far more likely to find more and significantly higher quality stuff by going to derpibooru and sorting by rating. Plus you could find artist names and (usually) links to their regular sites without needing to beg for sauce. Now doesn't that sound convenient?! :^D

>>30306669
That part took some interpretation on my part.
I took the route of Sunset and Anon being friends. The only thing sexual here is the tension.

>>30306839
Ponkadonk is just as innocent at the show would suggest. Sex is the last thing on her mind when she tries to deepen a relationship with someone. She'll make lewd jokes and innuendos, but if you try and make her follow through and she'll turn into a blushing, stuttering mess.

File: AYYYY.webm (1MB, 714x368px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 714x368px

>>30306164

Color me interested. I always enjoy the EqG prompts coming to life simply because of how rare they are. It's not often that they're written fairly well too.

>>30307963
What color is interested?

File: lcs-airship.jpg (291KB, 1280x493px) Image search: [Google]

291KB, 1280x493px

>>30299394
>An airship wedding?
>Well It's kinda tame if you asked me.
>It's your big day and you're just waiting with your friends for the chariot to bring you to the ship.
*gasp*
>Huh? Why'd everypony sto-
>A large shadow started to cover the Castle's courtyard.
>IT eclipsed the sun as it passed through.
>It can't be even called an airship anymore. It's covered in thick plates. There's no baloons.
>It's sides are covered in guns. You can see ports where smaller ships can dock.
>The Insignia.... HMS Twiggles!?
>Damn you Anon!
>It's flattering but you can already feel your spine tingle from the bill.

File: giphy.gif (77KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 500x500px

>>30307995
Like this, roughly.

>>30305944
Kek, fookin birds.

>>30308031
FUCK YOU

I ALMOST CARPE

seriously i almost got a seizure

>>30308025
kek
Damn it anon, stop bringing in OP human tech

>Anon creates Hentai Nightmares, wherein he shouts at a bunch of NEETs about how bad they are at drawing dicks before giving them a "live demonstration"
>Starts an entire genre

>>30305961
Kek, Anon is a Drunken Master.

File: drunken_master_2_poster_02.jpg (527KB, 1544x2288px) Image search: [Google]

527KB, 1544x2288px

>>30308125
Drunken Master you say?

>>30308112
>Make a smut series based on you and your herd's lives and sexual escapades. Names of ponies and locations are changed just enough that a connection can't be made without a leap of logic.
>Roll in the monies of lonely mares.

>>30308185
>The Love Across Dimensions series.
>Come for the A+ grade porn and wish fufilling.
>Stay for the soul crushing punishment of reading about a loving and fair family.

RGRE should become its own board

>>30306125
> "I mean, besides the fact that we a,l learned that we have these
What's with the middle bit here? Its like you stopped mid sentence to start a new one.

>>30307963
>It's not often that they're written fairly well too.
Y-you too.

File: 1402291__safe_artist-colon-parclytaxel_starlight+glimmer_no+second+prances_absurd+res_female_mare_oh+no_pony_simple+background_solo_-dot-svg+available_.png (2MB, 6400x8660px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 6400x8660px

Are there any stories exploring this aspect of a gender-reversed Equestria?
>>30308264
>>30308287

>>30308299
No. And it wont be.

File: 1129511__safe_artist-colon-illumnious_artist-colon-thatguy1945_starlight+glimmer_the+crystalling_absurd+res_adobe+illustrator_depressed_floppy+ears_sim.png (1MB, 8192x6047px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 8192x6047px

>>30308325
Too close to home? I like stories that make me feel, and there are not much stronger feels than a society with a sexist double standard in which the genital mutilation of women is abhorrent but the mass genital mutilation of the dominant gender... shh, don't talk about it, no matter how much it hurts. (Or in the case of Equestria, the reverse).

>>30308418
Genital mutilation doesn't give me feels, anon.
It just disgusts me.
It also disgusts me that you want such a green. Why? Why do you want a story about mares having their genitals mutilated?

>>30308474
Its just some baitposter, follow through with reporting and ignoring.