ITT you have one single line to woo your waifu with, speak those

you are pretty and i love you

I am pretty and you love me.

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>>30270043
>"I got a bucket of chicken"

>>30270043
I want to party with you for the rest of my life

> Y-you love me? H-how much do you? I need to know!
"I would lick every last bead of sweat off your body, no questions asked."
> *heavy breathing*

>>30270582
> *heavy breathing*
>Fucking creep

>>30270601
I like em that way

>>30270043
My two favourite things are commitment and changing myself

>>30270043
>Unveil boner
"I've got a passion... for fashion."

>>30270043
"On good days I can last up to 3 minutes"

>>30270706
"Regularly I cum before I even touch you."

Nobody posts their waifu

>>30271181
I love Pinkie so god damn much

>>30270611
Lol check out this politician.

Pinkie pic is for mating press

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If I bought every cake in sugarcube corner, it still wouldn't be as sweet as you. Infact, I WILL buy every single last one, and I'm going to eat them too. To prove a point. Who's going to stop me?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? For rebelling against God?

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I love a gal who's an "Angel in the streets and a Demon in the sheets."

>>30270135
Mang, you get all the pony poontang.

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>>30270043
I've only got one chance to say this so I need to say that I think you're the most beautiful, kind, loving and unique mare in the whole wide world and I'm so happy that you're a part of this world because wherever you go you spread cheer and joy to the places that need it.

I'd probably keep going until I almost pass out from not breathing, since I'd say it all within a single breath. I think she'd appreciate the enthusiasm if nothing else.

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>>30271325

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>>30270043
I want to cum inside you.

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>>30272460

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>>30272660
Are you tired, Glimmer? 'Cause you've been running through my mind all night. Screaming.

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"H-here..e-eggs."

>>30270135
>Bucket of Chicken
>Pony
The joke was funny, but you dun fucked up.

>>30272684
/thread

>>30271321
your stomach will stop you

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Some ponies are red
Some ponies are blue
If they were equal to you
I'd love them all too
And my heart would explode
From the love overflowed
So I look to the stars
And my love baits my breath
Glimmer, by starlight,
I hate you to death.

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>>30271181

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>I fucking LOVE apples, I could eat them all day - every minute. You look like a juicy, fresh pick.

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If I could reach the stars in heaven they wouldn't hold a candle to your magnificence. Won't you please be mine?

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>>30270043
I could stand here and tell you some clever pick up line or stutter as I attempt to compliment your appearance but really, I just want you to know that I love you. Never have I found someone who exemplifies such immaculate traits as you do. With every passing day, I trudge through the pain and filth of life knowing that it will all be worth it when I get to be with you. You are my idol and my muse. I do so much in your name in my desperate hopes to make my self worthy of you, but I am cursed by your presence. Yoi don't exist. Like Tantalus, I am tortured knowing you exist yet sit just out of my reach. Like a drug I crawl back to you and just leave more damaged than before. I am chasing a fairy tail. But when I act as if you are here with me, to inspire me and guide me, you become just tangible enough to make life bearable. Thank you.

>>30270043
Your waifu would be disgusted for confusing calculus with arithmetic.

>>30275849
I doubt Ponks is smart enough to understand the difference.

>>30270043
"If I told you, you have a good body, would you hold it against me? There's no need to lie, but if you really wanted to, you could lie next to me."

>>30275849
I think that fact that he only used addition was disgusting enough.

>>30270043
"1 2 3 4 lemme in your back door"

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I'd love to be the shoulder that you cry on
I'd love to be the friend to come when things are great

And I think this is my only chance to
say I wish I knew you because I am sure
You're wonderful
And I think that you are something special

I think this is my only chance to
say I wish I knew you because I am sure
You're wonderful...
If I get to know you!

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>>30270043
'Hey twilight, I've got an equation just for you'
>leans in closer to her ear and whispers
'Let's go back to my place, add a bed, subtract my clothes, divide your legs and multiply'

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>>30274529
Says you faggot, just you watch me!

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>>30270043
Painite

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It is already conclusively demonstrated that real women don't care whether I live, die, or grow mushrooms on my ass

I highly doubt that any idealized, fictional female would care about me either.