You know, you can't just go judging me Anon. Sometimes ponies

What are you, a cop?

>>30256441
I shot a mare in Reno just to watch her die.

When I hear the Friendship Express™ a comin', I hang my head and cry.

>>30256441
"Pardon?"
>"I mean, it's like the fastest way to clear out all your negative chakras--"
"Uhhhhh--"
>"--and as a pony that's subjected to a myriad of stressful situations--"
"You're joking about killing someone--"
>"--sometimes I just need room to breathe. Are you picking up what I'm putting out, Anon?"
"--right?... I uh, can't exactly relate to that."
>You take a step back.
>"Just cool down, Anonymous... Relaaaax. Open up those mental channels and let those good vibes back in..."
"I mean murder in this world is kind of uh, illegal."
>"Anomalous, mother nature made allll the laws of this world, the animals groove to it, and as her children we must take after said animaallsss."
"Please tell me it was a homeless--and it's 'Anonymous'."
>"He was a suit, Anon, he worked for evil corporations that go polluting our air and choking the life out of mother nature, and her lungs are fragiiillle. We can't just let her die at the hands of the man...diiig?"
"Why does that sound familiar... oh no--"
>You race for the TV remote, and slam the power button.
>"--police are still trying to determine suspects, but have no additional information at this time. Mr. Graves leaves behind a global empire build on billions of dollars and--"
>Click.
>You remove your thumb from the power button and set the remote back down.
"You didn't. You did not just do that."
>"Like, so what if I did, maaan?"

>>30256559
Kek

>>30256559
>Probably shouldn't tell her about your gas-guzzling SUV with the baby seal eye headlights and all leather interior

>>30256559
"You TREE HUGGING HAIR BRAINED HIPPIE HORSE! Do you have any idea what you've DONE?!"
>"Like, I made the atmosphere clear as a glass of nature's life-giving nectar that is waatteerrr."
"No, you just killed an oil tycoon. You KILLED a somebody. Do you know what happens when you kill somebodies in this world? The POLICE go after you. PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS go after you. EVERYONE goes after you!"
>"Nopony said it was an easy fight, Analogoussss"
"Anonymous. And NO you didn't fix SHIT. The air's gonna be the same, that company is still gonna pollute the air, and you're a murderer now."
>"WHHooooaaa, like, turn it dooowwwn a bit, Anon. There's like, ten billion people on your planeeeet."
"Well ONE LESS, NOW! Fuck, okay, how did you do it? Who saw you?--Oh God, what am I saying? You can't stay here! You need to get out of here! You're in my house!"
>"Possessive pronouns imply ownership, Anonymous, and like, no one actually oooowns anythiiing. We shaaaare this Earth."
"I'm gonna share my fucking foot with your ass if you don't book it!"
>"Whoooaaa, Anon, you said you weren't about that free love stufffff... somepony coming around?"
>Her eye lids still look as heavy as ever.
"... Ugh. I can't stay mad at you. Okay, look, you're gonna have to lay low for a bit. The basement isn't actually on the blueprints to this house. If you stay down there for a couple days, maybe the heat will die down or something--"
>"I mean, nopony actually saw me."
"... HOW?"
>"Mother Nature, at our conception and at the conception of all life, planted the seeds of green she knew we'd need in the battle against pollutionnn. I put it in his coffee, which was already made from the ground up love and dreams of all Earth loversss."
"... You poisoned him."
>"Your viiibes are really killing meeee, Anon."
"Yeah well your vibes are--"
>Knock knock knock.
>You both turn towards the door.
"Oh no."

>>30256486
underrated

>>30256662
Why did you stop bitch

>>30256441

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

File: tree hugger afterglow.png (47KB, 619x488px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 619x488px

Wow, this new gen of Captain Planet is hardcore.

>>30256441

Well yeah, but...
(singing)
He had it coming!
He had it coming!
He only had himself to blame!
If you'd have been there,
If you'd have seen it,
I'll bet ya you would have done the same!
(jazz hands)