RGRE: Reversed Gender Roles Equestria

>>30255370
>thread pic
dammit

someone is gonna take this too far again

>>30255389
Some chuckle fuck last thread already started.

>>30255370
Do we have any greentext bat rgre?

>>30255424
Yeah, Ehmp dropped by last thread.

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>>30255449
thank anon.

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>>30255370
>fatbat OC

>>30255455
You okay dub man?
>>30255466
So you are still here Mr. Screeching Autist? That's nice, mind telling us why you know what that pic is? Because there is nothing about it that shows anything about being fat in it, so enlighten us, why do ONLY you know about it?

>>30255370
Prompt pastebin Anon here. The first one has gotten so large it takes a while for my browser to load it, so I have started a second prompt bin for the new prompts.
Prompt collection 02:
https://pastebin.com/cNVqJ2WA

>>30255614
Is this what pride feels like?

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Hey fags. Ignore cancer pic and post backwards ponies. Watch a gore flick with Moonbutt and fuck her expectations when you don't cling to her in fright like she secretly wanted.

>>30255679
Can we hold her hooves when she isn't looking?

>>30255679
>plan B
>give anon feels
>doesn't shed a single tear when watching romantic tragedies
>he ends up crying (manly tears, ok?!) during a cheesy kungfu flick

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Did someone say....BAT?

>>30255679
>>30255764
>Totally platonic reenacting of the make out scene

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>>30255843

>>30255856
hnnnng

>>30255821
I have no idea why batpones won't just use proper ear protection when firing guns. Fucking mares and their "pride".

So wrote something with Fluttershy. Just be warned though, I'm one of those autist who generally dislikes anything after s1 so just know that this takes place a few months after "Best Night Ever".

>you are anonymous
>you fear no man
>but that's irrelevant since you're the only human in Horseworld
>the earlier part of your day had been spent repairing a clock
>a cuckoo clock to be specific
>Fluttershy's cuckoo clock to be specific-er
>one of her birds was quite smitten with clocks occupant and decided to stage a break in and kidnapping
>she still hasn't located the abductor or her wooden victim
>the assault pulled several parts out of place
>putting the parts back place was the simple part
>the difficult part was acquiring a replacement cuckoo
>the only capable carver in town was having a spat with his mares and seemed more interested in venting than actually doing work you had already payed him for
>you humored him long enough that he was willing to get back to work
>ended up finishing an hour later than you had promised
>but she hasn't shown up yet so no harm done you suppose

>>30255894
>as the evening sun set she still hadn't shown up
>a bit concerning, she was so upset when she brought it in that you find it hard to believe she would just forget about it
>maybe she and her friends had gotten up to some of their element business
>you might as well bring it to her as you close up shop
>you don't normally deliver but you might be just maybe a teeny bit smitten with her
>not that you really have a shot with her
>she herds with Twilight and Rainbow Dash
>a noble scholar and a popular athlete are a bit outside the range of a non-pony biped
>the concept of a herd itself is pretty iffy to you anyway
>at least it means her timidness won't get in the way finding a colt
>a lot of mares have difficulty in romance
>to the point even you get flirted with fairly frequently
>its a good thing mares are still pretty cute or this place would be a bitter irony

>>30255900
>putting on your jacket and closing up shop you head out for the night
>the clock tucked under your arm
>Fluttershy's cottage is only a slight detour from your route home
>with a so very slight turning in your stomach you head to her cottage
>in the distance you see a familiar figure
>white fashion horse is walking the opposite direction as you
>she's moving rather briskly too
"Hey Rarity how are you?"
>"Why hello anonymous dear, please forgive my rudeness but things are quite dire and I can not afford stop to chat."
"eh like monster attacking town dire?"
>"oh no no no no anonymous nothing like that just an interpersonal crisis."
"ok good, don't let me keep you then, good luck with your crisis."
>"thank you for understanding, stay safe anon."
"Same to you Rarity."
>you parted ways at that point, she continued her brisk trot
>she must be heading towards her boutique
>but where did she come from then?
>whatever you're no gossip
>you got a clock to deliver

>>30255907
>stepping over the small bridge you now stand before her cottage door
>you feel a slight twinge in your stomach
>whatever you're just doing your job
>nothing to be nervous about
>firmly you place two knocks on the door
>after a moment it opens slowly
>oddly enough the doorway is empty
>confused you start to poke your head in when a pair of squirrels poke their heads from around the door
>specifically around where the door knob is located
>you recognize the squirrels
>Min and Max are their names
"did you two open the door?"
>they looked at each other than back at you nodding their heads in a "yes"
"Where is Fluttershy?"
>they both look towards the pathway that leads towards her kitchen
"Is something wrong with-"
>your interrupted by what sounds like a quiet sobbing
"Is that Fluttershy?"
>you whisper to the duo
>they look at each other again before hopping off the door and scurrying behind your shoes
>in unison they push on the back of your feet
"I'm not sure if I'm who she would want to see right now."
>several birds fly towards your shoulders and grab on trying to pull you inside too
"alright alright, I'll try checking on her."
>hearing that the animals let go, the birds flying off towards the kitchen
>once fully inside the cottage Min and Max close the door behind you

>>30255912
>"i-is s-s-someone th-there?"
>a meek voice asks from the kitchen
"Uh its-a me."
>the yellow Pegasus appears from the kitchen face visibly wet and her eyes are red from crying
>"a-anon? why are you here? n-not that I mind."
"Well you forgot your clock, so i figured I'd bring it to you, I'm sorry I didn't realize you where having a private moment."
>"oh I'm sorry for forgetting anon."
>she flies over and takes the clock from you pacing it on her coffee table
"its no problem, are you alright?"
>"I'm... okay I was just feeding the animals when I just started..."
>she trails off unable to finish her sentence
"Do you want..."
>you hesitate
>she looks at you eyes widening ever so slightly
"...Some help, feeding the animals?"
>she nods rapidly
>"oh uh sure I could certainly use some help."
>she leads you to the kitchen where so gives you a bag of small kibble like food for the squirrels, while she places bird seed in bowls hanging from the ceiling
>dumping the kibble into small bowls on the kitchen's floor you work up the courage to ask Fluttershy a question
"Whats bothering you Fluttershy?"
>She looks at you surprised, turns away, then looks back at you with sad expression
>"Well this morning..."

>>30255922
>you are Twilight Sparkle
>you are a bad friend
>sitting here in the treebrary you stare at a book
>you're not able to focus enough to read it
>its on the topic of romance
>a year ago you wouldn't have cared about dating
>but coming to Ponyville
>making friends
>kinda made you want to meet a handsome stallion
>a couple other mares
>sounds nice
>Rainbow Dash seemed like a good match
>someone your parents wouldn't object to
>but Fluttershy...
>she is so very beautiful
>so you knew your parents would be alright with her
>she's also kind
>and supportive
>she's even funny once you get to know her
>but no stallion wants a timid mare
>some even have disdain for mares like her
>it's frustrating because you and Dash would charm a stallion only for Fluttershy to scare them off
>You tried coaching Fluttershy
>but she always choked
>eventually only one course of action was clear
>the hard part was convincing Dash
>she accused you of betraying Fluttershy
>You tried to explain that she'd only be out temporarily
>until Dash and you charm a stallion well enough that you can convince him to give Fluttershy a chance
>it wasn't until after the three more failed date that Dash finally begrudgingly agreed
>so you both agreed to discuss with Fluttershy in the morning and explain the plan
>she didn't seemed to fazed
>almost like she was expecting it
>she left without word
>you wanted to ask Rarity how to approach her about it
>but you where honestly afraid of what Rarity would do if you told her
>bringing romance into your circle might have been a mistake

>>30255930
>You are anon
>and everything makes sense now
>as much sense as ponies make anyway
>Fluttershy had barely managed to choke out the last couple sentences of her story before breaking out in tears again
>she had fallen to the ground with her head in her hooves
>you had to do something
>can't just stare at her
>you pick her up and carry her over to the couch
>sitting down with her she wraps her hooves around your waist and sobs into your chest
>"w-why am I l-l-l-like this?"
>you start to to stroke her hair
>"I d-don't m-m-mean to b-bother anypony"
>you don't say anything
>what would you even say?
>she isn't a human
>ponies think differently than humans
>maybe something is wrong with her
>even if you don't think so...
>she pulls her head away from your chest and looks up you
>"anon I'm sorry."
"Why?"
>"I shouldn't be bothering you with my... problems."
"I don't mind Fluttershy. We all need someone to lean on when we're down."
>"But its not right."
"What not right?"
>"Leaning on a colt like this"
"I'm not a colt Fluttershy"
>she tilts her head at an angle clearly confused
"I'm a man"
>"right... of course, do you think something is w-wrong with me?"
>the logical answer is that you don't know
>pony psychology being distinct from human and all
>but you give the emotional answer
"No"
>"R-Really?"
"Not at all"
>"Do you really m-mean it?"
"Absolutely, I don't know what is up with stallions, but I think you're amazing just as you are."
>"You mean good friends amazing or maybe something more amazing..."
>this is your chance!
>what the fuck!
>she's emotionally vulnerable!
>she's the one asking you
>doesn't make it not fucked up bro!
>take time to think about it
>good idea
>ask her out on a date
>no need to be rash
"here's the thing Fluttershy..."
>you kiss her
>she kisses you back
>maybe you both have problems...

>>30255935
And that's it for now, if you care enough tell me what you think, if you think its shit please tell me.

Here's my pastebin https://pastebin.com/4Vtqg2ZR

>>30255955
It's cute
Poor flutters needs loving

>>30256181
>Flutters gets kicked out of the herd because she's botching dates for the other two
>Pretty much instantly 'gets a stallion' by luck because Anon was crushing on her
When does she realize this and get smug?
Sadly never, because it's Flutters.

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>>30255955
It's about as good as something I'd need more of

>>30256250
She gets smug when her belly starts showing the foal bump
Smugger when both learn it's twins

>>30256250
Don't forget monogamous,
She 'gets a stallion' who doesn't when want another mare.

>>30255922
>"Uh its-a me."
MARIO

>>30255955
It's cute, HOWEVER

FUCKING CAPITALIZE YOUR SENTENCES YOU SHITTER.

>>30255935
Oh, the irony here is fucking delicious.

I really can't wait to see Dash and Twi's reaction when their plan blows up in their faces and Fluttershy/Anon tells them to get rekt.

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>>30255955
>dubs
It's good mate!
keep going and ignore the faggots.

>>30256585
>and ignore the faggots.
What the fuck? What 'faggots' are you even speaking of? Everyone likes it you shit.

>>30256301
Yeah, I forgot that and realized a tiny bit after.
Smug levels rising.

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>>30256250
>>30256301
>>30256611
I don't think Fluttershy can even be smug, but she'll definitely take advantage of having her own male.

>>30255955
You need to work on your capitalization and punctuation, but the story itself is alright.
Capitals at the start of every sentence and periods at the end of every one that doesn't use different punctuation.

>>30256568
Sorry about that, I've been greentexting since proto aie and somehow I keep thinking that you shouldn't capitalize in greentext.

>>30256651
I believe Patrick said it best. "It's first grade, Spongebob."

>>30256628
Passive-aggressive smugness? Hell yeah.

>Whatever thoughts of Twilight and Dash in a romantic way died when they became total cunts to Fluttershy.
>Despite their attempts of getting him "interested" again through athleticism and magical prowess, Anon remains disinterested.
>Calls then Rainbow Dyke and Cuntlight Sparkle in private.
>Fluttershy is torn between feeling sad that he's insulting her friends and smug/happy that he's interested in only her.

>>30256291
>Mares become somewhat aggressive when pregnant
>Normally this means the mare is a bit snippy and hotheaded
>Not your Bananahush though
>Something about pregnancy really caused her to come out of her shell
>The way she struts around head high presenting her engorged belly like its a diamond ring
>You wouldn't recognize her if you didn't know better
>Though you think you might need to have a talk with her
>If she keeps chirping at Dash like that you know there will be trouble.

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>>30256603
Anon there is ALWAYS some faggot complaining about something in RGRE.

Like you....right now.

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My headcanon is that stallion tails grow at the same rate as mares, they just trim it so it covers less skin. Only the greatest of sluts would cut theirs above the ponut and condem themselves to years of casual exibitionism.

>>30256651
>somehow I keep thinking that you shouldn't capitalize in greentext.
And that's why aie is shit.

>>30256837
Not him, but are you joking right now?

>>30256628
>>30256676
>Smug Fluttershy
This is my fetish, tell me more.

>>30257018
Either this is poor bait or you're an idiot.

>>30255894
>one of her birds was quite smitten with clocks
with the*
>putting the parts back place was the simple part
back in*
>venting than actually doing work you had already payed him for
doing the*
>>30255900
>you don't normally deliver but you might be just
forgot the comma before but*.
>won't get in the way finding a colt
way of*
>>30255907
>>30255912
>whatever you're just doing your job
comma after whatever*, always remember to keep proper spacing in your sentences.
>>30255922
>"a-anon? why are you here? n-not that I mind."
Forgot to capitalize Anon's name.
>"oh I'm sorry for forgetting anon."
name again.
>"oh uh sure I could certainly use some help."
Comma's after oh*, and sure. Sentence spacing, use it.
>>30255930
>so you both agreed to discuss with Fluttershy
discuss it*
>she left without word
without a*
>>30255935
>"anon I'm sorry."
Name, capitalize it.
>>30255955
And with all that checked, this>>30256568
and use proper ending punctuation. Writing like a shit 1st grader on purpose is unacceptable here. We have standards. Would read more of your story though.

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>>30255922
>"Uh its-a me."

>>30255955
would you be interested in continuing?

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>>30257001
interesting

>>30255955
I enjoyed it,really hope you keep going.

>>30257296
>would you be interested in continuing?
About halfway through the next part. Probably be up tomorrow along as I don't hit a creative wall.

>>30257344
Neat, I'll check it for you when you post. Done your first part already now>>30257232

>>30255370
How is that batshit related to RGRE?

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>>30256581
To be fair Twiggle seems to have regretted the decision almost instantly, so i dont think things are going to get too spiteful.
That said, i have mighty need for some Fluttersmug.

>Mane6 tea party, X amount of weeks/months into the relationship, somehow get onto the topic of stallions.
>Twilight and Rarity start talking about all the things anon is doing 'wrong' / improper as a stallion, citing multiple books both fiction and nonfiction.
>Fluttershy lets them finish before speaking.
>"15 minutes."
>She returns to sipping her tea, a light blush now on her face.
>Rarity is the first to get it, mouth agape while a stangled squeak emerges from her throat.
>"And he's usually ready to go again after a few more minutes."
>Rarity has fainted. Fluttershy gains 100 exp.
>The penny drops for Rainbow dash, wings snapping to attention as her face turns crimson.
>"N-no way!"
>Going for broke, Fluttershy turns to AJ who's pointedly stirring her tea.
>"Can you give my thanks to your Grandmother for the diet advice, Applejack? I understand why it's called Sweet Apple Acres now."
>Covering her face with her stetson she mumbles a "Dont mention it" before muttering under her breath.
>"Knew i shouldn'ta left you two alone."
>It's at this point Anon and Pinkie walk in from the kitchen, each carrying a share of desserts.
"Wow anon, you sprayed cream EVERYWHERE, i hope you're going to take responsability for that mister."
"Hey! It's not my fault the pump was stuck so much i had to really pound it, and besides you swallowed more than half the load as it came out anyway, how'd you even do that."
"Loooooots of practice anon!"
>Suddenly noticing how quiet the others were being, the two turn to their friends and see a serene looking fluttershy, a pony being eaten by her hat, a tomato with rainbow coloured leaves, an unconscious twitching marshmallow and a perplexed purple pony.
>Anon scratches his head and shares a glance with pinkie.
>"Was it something we said?"

>>30253811
Oh fug real criticism. This is the best shit. Sorry I overlooked you.

How does Anon seem bipolar to you? There is a certain why I'm trying to portray him, but I'm not sure if he's coming off the way I want.

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>>30256676
my heart

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>>30257774
Fluttershy deserves to be the happiest little pone.

>>30257774
>Twilight and Rarity start talking about all the things anon is doing 'wrong' / improper as a stallion, citing multiple books both fiction and nonfiction.

I know it would be way too OOC for Flutters even with the confidence boost from having a boyfriend, but I wanted her to say something like this:

>"Twilight, Rarity. You can decide what is and isn't proper behavior for my coltfriend when you two get coltfriends of your own."

She doesn't even raise her voice at all. Fluttershy just casually lays down sick burns on anyone who criticizes her relationship with Anon.

>>30257774
HA! Pinkie's six sense for funny awkward strikes again.

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>>30257928
She is entirely capable of this now.

>>30257943

It's like how her confidence boost from Iron Will's motivational speech ramped up her aggression in Season 2, only not nearly as extreme.

>>30257774
I really want more of this.

>>30257943
>>30257959
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THksXtTtNFg

Yup.

>>30257786
Not him, and this isn't to discredit his opinion, but I think your anon is pretty consistent so far. It's possible that the guy just doesn't like the character. If Anon were being a goofball before having a little episode I might see where this guy is coming from but your protag never dropped his guard. Speaking of that. This sort of thing (ptsd episodes) can overstay its welcome very easily in my experience and your readers are at risk of getting exasperated with your mc. That isn't to say you should bury that part of his character but that it should go down a notch or two over meaning the intensity of the episodes should also drop with their frequency. As a rule of thumb anyway. Then again, it's way too early for me to see where this story is going so take that with a grain of salt.

I am going to confess that I was apprehensive at first. Out of the many fanfics I've read, very few if any humans/anons with this type of background had actual self preservation where it mattered. So I was pleasantly surprised to see that the protag had the common sense to try playing nice and not provoke the magic wielding aliens or flee into the unknown. I'm liking it so far, especially Twilight's magic exposition. Probably the best I've seen in a while.

>>30258133
*over time

>Anon and Metal Head Anon form a duet-band.
>They shred their guitars like a boss.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4qro7Ock0E&t=0s

>>30258194
Uh, *Rarity and Anon.

Fuck, I need caffeine.

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>>30258133
Thankee much for the feedback, and I'm glad you like it. This is the kind of stuff I live for.

>>30257774
I need more

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>>30257774
Fluttershy is a pone I would waifu, then marry, then impregnate and have very large and wholesome family with.

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>>30258694
I just had a strange thought, what if a ponies subrace and gender was chosen by the latent magic of their world through whatever process it has when they are conceived and you being immune/resistant to the magic caused the foal to be born an alicorn or another rare breed or maybe something new entirely, I bet that would certainly cause a stir and perhaps even attention from the princesses themselves

>>30258694
I agree with you wholeheartedly.

>>30258828
>This is how Tirek was made
>His daddy was an Anon
>An asshole troll Anon.

>>30255955
It was decent.
Real cute and I like the premise.
But the characters were very stiff.
For instance,
---
"Hey Rarity how are you?"
>"Why hello anonymous dear, please forgive my rudeness but things are quite dire and I can not afford stop to chat."
"eh like monster attacking town dire?"
>"oh no no no no anonymous nothing like that just an interpersonal crisis."
"ok good, don't let me keep you then, good luck with your crisis."
>"thank you for understanding, stay safe anon."
"Same to you Rarity."
---
The dialog here felt rushed because there are no assisting punctuation.
And there was no 'character' from the characters, so to speak.
A better way to write this part would be
---
"Hey Rarity, fancy seeing you here."
>"Why hello, Anonymous."
"So how are you?"
>She visibly fidgets a little, looking at the road behind you.
>"Well, I'm fine. Darling, this is going to sound rude, but I'm in a little of a hurry."
"Yeah, uh, you're busy. Sorry, I shouldn't have stopped you."
>"Oh nononono, it's nothing like that." She says, looking to the side. "It's something personal."
"Alright, well, don't let me keep you then." You step aside, taking care not to hit her with the clock.
>"Quickly muttering thanks, Rarity quickly trots down the path, stopping for a few seconds."
>"By the way, you look fabulous today, Darling." She shouts before making her way down the road.
>Smiling, you decide to get on with your trip.
>You're no gossip.
>If she wants to tell you about her situation, she would.
--
In cartoons, characters all have defined voices and speech patterns.
it's what makes them memorable.
It's also what makes writing them hard.
Maybe you can try to rewatch episodes to get a feel for the characters speech patterns and characteristics.

>>30258694
>Fluttershy sniffled
>She wasn't going to cry
>She wasn't
>Big mares didn't cry over this kind of thing

>That kind of behavior was why she was in this situation
>Sitting at home
>Alone
>Fantasizing about a male who cared
>Who loved her
>Who loved her all the more for her unmarelyness
>Who would be happy to raise a family with her
>And hold her close on cold nights

>Why couldn't Anon be real?

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>>30259276

She should just ask Discord to make her an Anon or something.

>>30257030
I... I think he's white knighting in advance...

>>30259327
That would actually be kind of entertaining.

>>30255370
I want Mia to sit on my face

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>>30259276
I REFUSE TO ALLOW THIS

>>30259276
>>30259327
>Discord was at a loss.
>Fluttershy was miserable, and it made him feel miserable just seeing her like this.
>Once upon a time, he might have tried one of a few 'obvious' (to him) solutions to her problem.
>But a small voice in the back of the chaotic mess that he called his mind, (that sounded remarkably like her), said that it would not be a story with a happy ending.
>For either of them.

>Then something she said gave his brain a good shake and something new fell out of the idea tree.
>'Why couldn't they be real?'
>Why, whoever said they weren't, my dear?
>Humans are oh so real, they just aren't *here*.
>Yet.
>Oh, it would be tricky, but he could do it.
>He'd wager even Sparkle could pull it off given proper motivation, but that bit of mischief got put on the back burner for another time.

>Just call me the matchmaker!
>Lets see if we can find a perfect human horsebando for dear little Fluttershy...

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>>30259550
I
AM
INTEREST

>>30259550
You can't let it stop here.

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>>30259276
>>30259550
Fluttershy is not for tears, Fluttershy is not for sadness.

>>30255955
Love the concept man

>>30259276
I didn't need this today.

>>30258984
>when you find those fanfics that get the dialogue just right

Exchange by Getmeouttahere (not RGRE) was really solid on this front. Though it doesn't really come into its own until after the first few chapters.

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>>30260491
I loved Exchange. I can't believe it's already been years since I read it.

>>30260491
>Exchange
It was garbage.

>>30260618
You're garbage.

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This is why we're here.

>>30260618
Why? It did mature/dark without being edgy and the interactions with between the mane 6 felt like it could have been on the show at times. Like Twilight threatening Rarity by saying she would wear her shitty custom dress from Suited for Success at a royal event.

>>30255955
It was good. World building / Scene painting was a little light but you did state it was shortly after S01 which most; if not all, of us are familiar with it enough to fill in the blanks. Character establishment is well done but I wouldn't be able to comment more until I've read more. You do need to pay attention to punctuation and capitalization though. I like the premise and I look forward to your next update.

P.S. This anon explains it very well. >>30258984

>>30257774
That was hilarious! This should be optional canon if this isn't from E4B.

>>30257786
Also not the same Anon and I can't say it better than >>30258133. While I think Anon is a bit too jumpy it is well explained why he is that way.

>>30259550
Hmm. There's some potential there.

So, there are several groups of people who say that "cunt" is one of the worst words in the English language, but "dick" is perfectly acceptable to them.

Thus in RGRE, saying "cunt" is socially acceptable, but saying "dick" would turn some heads.

Imagine Anon calling some stallion a stupid dick for even just a perceived slight.

>>30255955
Mwhahaha
> Fluttershy gets a date the same day Twi and Dash break up with her
> They must think its them not YellowSmash

>>30261047
Anon would be the alien Australian.

>>30261067
SPACE AUSTRALIA, YOU SAY?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LgpZyJihck

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>>30261104
JEICE, IF YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF GETTING REPEATEDLY PUNCHED IN THE FACE, ALL YOU-

>>30261104
>Ponies catch Anon watching DBZ
>They almost dismiss it as a "little colts show", because almost everyone in it is a boy.
>Then they see rippling muscles and the colt fight scenes with clothing damage and reconsider.

>>30255894
This is cute and all, and I'm sorry to be that guy, but working on a fucking cuckoo clock isn't that easy. It's bad enough if it has a metal movement (with inexplicable pieces of plastic, because why the fuck not, right Germany?), but if it's one of the old style wood and leather movements just fucking forget about it. Seriously. Just turn on the gas in the shop, leave a candle burning by your lathe, fake your own death, and skip town.

Fuck you, Germany.

>>30261198
kek

>>30260491
Got a link to that pastebin, fampai?

>>30261286
>has never read Exchange
WHAT
WHAT THE FUCK

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/169217/exchange

>>30261286
it's a Fimfic
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/169217/exchange

>>30261298
It was a pastebin first tbhfam. That's where I read it first, then read the Fimfic version too.

>>30256568
>YOU SHITTER
I dunno why but this make me chuckle. Thx anon. I needed that.

>>30257786
I get what the other anon said but to me it didn't seem consistent at all. Not beyond d being consistently inconsistent. I can buy the whole "comes from a fucked up world and is scared of everything " bit to an extent, but why would such a jumpy fuck be given this mission? And why hasn't he figured they don't mean him no harm yet?

What bugs me more tho is he acts so comfortable and casual one sentence and is full on sperg the next. Has he calmed down or not? Pick one.

It just feels so Mary sue to me. He's very much a loser everyman thrust into an incredible position. And he isn't rising to the task.

Ultimately it feels like green written by a new teenage writer, with all the flaws that usually come with that.

I do applaud you for the effort tho and don't want to discourage you. I just want you to turn down the self insert.

>>30261294
>>30261298
Thanks bros.

>>30261581
Not the anon you're critiquing, but I'm not sure if "Mary Sue" is the right word here.
A Mary Sue would be an unrelateable character with no noteable flaws that seems completely incapable of being challenged in any sense, as if the universe itself simply bends to its will.
The anon you're referencing simply sounds like an uninteresting character with contradictory habits. An example of less than exemplary writing, to be sure, but a Mary Sue?
Though, I suppose it is worth noting that not everyone agrees on exactly what constitutes a Sue. That being said, what's your criteria?

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>>30261581
No offense, but I feel like you skimmed his stuff. Some of what you've said is just so baffling if you're really paying attention to the story. I feel I have to say something. It's not to say I have no gripes of my own, but it's like you have the wrong gripes. Or at least weird versions of them.

>but why would such a jumpy fuck be given this mission?

Because he was ultimately just a Guinea pig being sent into a warzone using experimental transportation. The author even took the time to hammer this home by introducing fodder tall guy who had no military experience as well as sending them to a dreaded place called Lynchburg. We could nitpick how it's self destructive Black Mesa dickishness, but again you should be asking something pertaining to this and not why they sent him in particular.

>What bugs me more tho is he acts so comfortable and casual one sentence and is full on sperg the next. Has he calmed down or not? Pick one.

The answer's obvious. Not. What made you think he's comfortable? Because he's not swearing like a sailor and reeeeing while mindlessly fleeing for 5 chapters (more on this later)? When you're "comfortable" are all of your thoughts something like...

>This person likely has ulterior movements, there's no way they don't.
>I'm dreading the arrival of these people.
>Is there someway I can flee?
>Shit... I cannot, checkmate
>fiddling with weapon
>The fuck was that?

If you answered yes to any of these, I don't think you know what comfortable is. The only part that I can agree with here are the jokes. At least the ones in his head that he was planning to make. Notice how he was responding to a joke someone else made or initiated most of, if not all, the time. Everyone responds to stress differently, so some humor isn't unrealistic. Nervous laughter is also a thing. However, it might feel "unrealistic" from a storytelling standpoint so it might be something to change if the author ever plans on revising small bits of the story.

1/2

>>30261969
>He's very much a loser everyman thrust into an incredible position. And he isn't rising to the task.

I'm confused. He is a typical A/HiE archetype, just not that one. An everyman is a contemporary character who before his 'journey' lived and breathed everyday situations. Okay, no. This guy is neither. Anon lived a danger filled lifestyle that gave him weapons and survival skills. He also escaped from a warzone so lethal that the shady government acknowledged the feat. This is already pretty much an action hero with an uncommon background and initial setting. This also makes him an archetype of HiE or AiE I usually hate. Post-apoc guy. You know, the 'badass' who flees like a headless chicken and screams fuck like a broken record for 5-10 chapters while most likely acting belligerent the entire time. So fun. That this post-apoc guy in particular actually tried talking to the pones is pretty much the only thing that kept me from dropping the story. What does rising to the task even mean here? He's been there for one day. Hell, why add 'loser' to everyman here? Because his QoL was shitty? Most people's presumably are on that earth.

>self insert

But there's nothing really indicative of this. Does the author not remember the taste of sugar or coffee? What about this Nito guy? Even if it were, it's a second person anon fic. It's a vestigial thing but these stories are still shamelessly self-insert fics. That's never gonna change as long as it's 2nd person and anon. So what does this really mean? There's always a chance you're on the money about the author, and there's no way of knowing unless you have the author's other anons to compare so I won't really hold it against you for saying this. It's just an unaddressable, incredibly vague, and contradictory complaint for an anon green.

I remember LaP was accused of this during the ketchup shitstorm but his other anons were pretty different from each other.

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>>30259550
go on

>>30261581
Can I get "Didn't read shit for 500" Sally?

>>30261969
>>30261979
You are good, have a pone or human of your choice.

We really need a Spitfire RGRE story. Preferably with maledom elements. And porn. Lots of it.

>>30261581
Nof's Anon seems plenty consistent to me. He's a survivor, and sometimes that means playing nice and trying to keep your real thoughts hidden from people (or ponies) you'd rather avoid but can't. Anon has got a facade up, and it makes sense.

>The mane 6/7 are the best of friends
>They spend a lot of time together
>Which has gotten people to start talking
>One of them overhears a conversation between a couple of background ponies and learns that everyone thinks that they're a lesbian herd
>Nuh-uh, mama didn't raise no dyke
>The girls have to find a male, or else everyone is going to think they munch carpet

>>30255935
This right here is the right way to do it. Emotional pocket sand + surprise entry = how I lost my virginity.

>>30257774
>To be fair Twiggle seems to have regretted the decision almost instantly

Yeah. Twilight's a social retard. I have no doubt that she got fucked up between wanting to please her parent's desire for grand babies, her idea of society's perception of her princessly duties, finally not being a forever alone virgin nerd, etc. I'm not saying she didn't fuck up, but I don't think she maliciously set out to hurt her friend. She's a dumbass, not a villain.

>>30262648
IT'S JUST A BRO JOB, BRO. DON'T BE GAY ABOUT IT.

>>30261167

>they get to the part where Frieza straight up murders Vegeta and Krillin
>mares realize the show is more hardcore then they thought
>they get confused by the fact that only colts get to fight, but think it's like the human version of a magical colt show
>Androids show up and the mares think 18 is going to be the next main villain.
>they get outraged when she breaks Vegeta's arm
>they think she's an irredeemable scumbag, so they get even more assmad when 18 hooks up with Krillin after the Cell Games.

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>>30256676
>In a reversal of how virility and the ability to provide for a large family is masculine and praise worthy, fertility in a mare is a point of pride.
>Having the resources to keep a large number of children and a stallion content is a high social mark.
>If you can have a number of healthy foals and keep your body in shape after, it's an even higher social mark and worth bragging over.
>After having 6 or 7 lively foals with a loyal, monogamous male and keeping her model figure, Fluttershy's already high standing rises to an exalted level.

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>>30262222

>>30261979
>...That this post-apoc guy in particular...
This post. I would not have been able to say it better. The prologue kinda explains that this Anon IS a bad-ass and that he DIDN'T go straight to "shoot first, questions later" is a refreshing change from the norm. Then we get little peeks into his background; like he was a tabletop RPG nerd, that bring more dimension to him.

>The girls are talking shit about how bands with colt leader singers are all crap because they don't know how to write songs.
>You have in your possession your iPod and Vinyl was nice enough to lend you a speaker that can plug into it.
>What do you play?

Personally, I'd play this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4

>>30263363
Samefagging here: I know it's originally Simon & Garfunkel, but I prefer the Disturbed cover.

>>30263363
>tfw I remember that song from the Flurrygeddon countdown thread.
When we still believed she was the one that would have ruined mlp

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>>30263059
nice

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>>30257774
Look at that look on his face, Twilight. Those contented sleepy eyes, the slight blush still on his cheeks, the happy smile.

That isn't just the look of a colt (now a young stallion) who took a chance, and found a mare that was able to make the first time he gave himself to another special in the way he remembers from storybook and song. It isn't just the look of a colt who remembers the feeling of being inside her, taking him over that edge dozens of times, or the warmth and heat of filling her womb with his seed. It isn't just the look of somepony remembering some of the incredibly kinky things he did, and thinking back to how naive he'd been to say that he'd never try them.

It's love, in point of fact, something a good deal more dangerous.

This was the first time he felt like this, and it wasn't you that did it, that's why you're still salty.

>>30262648
>They have a reputation for being neurotic and bat-shit insane, courtesy of their adventures, feats, and everyday shenanigans.
>No stallion wants to be in a herd with them.
>They list their options (stallions who aren't family):
>Tenderhoof is discounted straight away.
>Flash Sentry won't return Twilight's calls, and has gone into hiding.
>They slump in defeat, until they see a semi-naked Anon, smothered in ketchup and mustard war-paint, run screaming through Ponyville, chasing Lyra.
>"Looks like Anon's found out who was stealing his socks."
>So, to be seen as a Lesbian Herd, or to shack up with the mentally-unbalanced human.
>...Fuck.
>Now, to just convince him...

>>30263363
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaKr98ktoxU

>>30263370
Indeed. It is a great cover of that song.

>>30263974
Gave me a good kek. Someone needs to write this one up.

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>>30263974
>Anon doesn't hold anything against them, not anything major at least, but he doesn't consider them friends.
>On his end anyway, some of the mane 6 are only ever so slightly aware they're not on great terms with him.
>Unbeknownst to them, he even views a couple as borderline nuisances only slightly better than Lyra.
>So Twilight decides it's about time Anon got an extended friendship lesson.
>At least that's her front, and the excuse she'll be using to avoid suspicion.
>The plan is simple, each mare in the herd will spend a week with him one on one in an attempt to strengthen bonds between them.
>To help create new and exciting experiences between them, they'll also be sent on vacation to new and exotic places each time. For instance a camping trip with Rainbow Dash, or to a booming Saddle Arabian city with Rarity.
>All on the state's dime, but let's keep that hush hush for now.
>Surely, Celestia wouldn't mind if she knew why.
>Maybe Cadence would foot the bill.
>As long as they don't fail, they'll be happy to... right?
>... Let's hope they don't abuse their funds either...
>There's also a check from the treasury involved if he "passes" because there's no way Anon would cooperate otherwise (Celestia hasn't agreed to this but she'd cross that bridge when she got to it).
>While her friends would typically try to reign in Twilight's schemes and overplanning, they aren't about to object to an all expense paid vacation of their choosing.

>>30264243
Ah, the power of money solves anything.

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>>30264243
>>30264256
>Rarity's turn with Anon
>hfw the fucking bill arrives

>>30264243
>One of the more spontaneous mares like Ponk or Rainbow just opens up with an offer to fuck.
>She walks back to her friends with a satisfied smile and a limp, saying they're in.

>>30264347
>It wasn't the last mare to go on vacation with him to ask
>after weeks of anon not having enough free time to jack off at all
>he would have fucked a rotting tree stump at that point

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>>30263130
>Tfw Anon was probably just a regular guy who liked table top games.
>Tfw war came and destroyed everything he knew, forcing him to survive or die.
>Tfw he has been forced into a fight he wanted no part of to begin with.

>>30264665
Awwww, that pic, I want to hug that horse and give him a carrot.

>>30256544
Fuck

>>30263370
Basic bastard.

>>30259550
Fund it. Fuck the budget, fund it.

>>30261308
Is there any big difference between the two? I've only read the fimfic, and I don't know if I should read the original

>>30255424
>>30255449
Fug that was 2 threads ago >>30159707. And Ephemeral left us here with blue beans as the story stopped right before got really steamy.

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I want to work a mare up in public and leave her blue beaned.

>>30265867
I want to make up a bullshit human holiday that involves twisting/grabbing/milking nips teats and tits for some thing ponys/Minotaurs/diamond dogs didn't know to prepare for. Like pinching people for not wearing green on saint Patrick's day
Just some fake human holiday that I have to udderly (pun intended) molest any and all exposed nipple

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>>30266383
>can come up with any number of stupid, whacky, and nonsensical traditions because no one can fact check to see if it's true

Go full Rolf.

>>30266383
kek
excellent

>be in RGRE
>don't immediately become prostitute
>ISHYGDDT

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>>30266732
I'd immediately find my waifu and lock her down. She's MINE.

>>30266781
NO SHE'S MINE

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>>30266791
BACK OFF I'LL SKIN YOU ALIVE NIGGA.

>>30266781
>>30266412
Where's my edit with Many Doors Rolf?

>>30263363
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XmDYJBZZdc

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>>30266781
Ayy

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>>30267099
>Pegasi have a layer of fat over their lean muscle to insulate them from the cold that comes with flight.
>That means even world class athletes like Rainbow have some plush to them, making for an extra snugly hug.
>But Rainbow is extremely insecure over the fact that she'll never have the same marely muscle tone as Applejack. All of Rainbow's effort will never show thanks to the pegasus fat.
>Even unicorns are better defined than the average pegasus because they burn calories using magic all day.
She'll never be anyone's big,
strong mare...

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>>30267184
But that means she can be my squishy cuddly pega-pillow.

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>Go out with your friends to an amusement park.
>Glad they're always trying to include you on all their outings.
>See a qt mare there while you're at the food court.
>She starts flirting with you, laying it on real thick.
>Start flirting back.
>Your friends start cockblocking you.
>Wtf, they're mad now.
>Huh?
>Oh....
>Oh!
>This is beyond awkward.
>You've been dating a herd this whole time.
>You've also just learned what that is.
>Huh, so that's why they sometimes canceled these when you couldn't come.
>In your defense all ponies are really touchy and affectionate to begin with.

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>>30267184
>>30267226
This means... THIS MEANS...

Dash and Fluttershy would be the perfect mares to cuddle.

>>30263363
Queen and Creedence Clearwater Revival.

Poners are not ready for Rolling Stones yet

>>30267386
>Creedence Clearwater Revival
I feel a little ashamed to have read that as Cadence Clearwater Revivial

>>30267229
Oh i want a green where anon is in a herd without knowing it.

>>30267756
>Oblivious Anon #347

>>30267229
I could see that happening easily

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Why are pegasi so perfect?

>>30267974
Because there hollow bones are so easily broken

>>30268097
*their

>>30267184
>Smol squishy but actually fit pegasuses
Yes.

>>30266781
>>30266791
>>30266819
Anon's, There's more than enough parallel universes for you all to have your own Flutters

She wouldn't want you to fight over her. Much.

>>30257001
> A stallion has a growth problem
> His tail just grows really fast
> He's given up on short cuts
> Now everything thinks he's a super prude for having a tail as long (if not sometimes slightly longer than) a mare.

>>30255869
I just use headphones and listen to music when shooting.

>>30256651
>>30256651
Can you do a regex replacement?

Try """([\r|\n]+[>|"|']*([a-z]))""" --> """\U$2\E"""

>>30267847
I can't see a thirsty mare herd not managing to convey that they want some fuk out of anon after a VERY short period of time.

Also, I can't see Twiggles failing to require basic information about humans and their culture before allowing him to go free into the public of an entirely new culture he's clueless about.

>>30263363
Makes me wonder how they would react to some dark country
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nak4OVJlhAU

>>30268305
If longer tails are more conservative, wouldn't most mares have tails as short as they can get away with in public while not breaking some sort of law(s)?

>>30268475
Thats slutty stallions.
Mares are supposed to be professional about it.

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>>30263363
>>30263370
Fuck you. I hate the Disturbed version.

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>>30266781
1000 hours in paint

>>30263363
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt1cA0jqamk

>>30263363
this is cheating when it comes to 'writing a song' but it was written by a dude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxfoa23skHg

>>30268527
I'm pretty sure it already existed, senpai.

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>>30268684
If it does, I haven't seen it.
Here's another.

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>>30266383
>Come one, come all!
>Leave your loops and milking stools
>Coop the hens and pen the mules
>Come one, come all!
>Close the churches and the schools
>It's the day for breaking rules
>Come and grope some nips on fools
>Once a year we throw a party here in town
>Once a year we turn the city upside down
>Every man's got's hands and every tit needs grabbed
>Once again it's titty twisting day
>It's the day the devil in us gets released
>It's the day we mock the mare and shock the breast
>Everything is titty twisting at the feast of fools
>Titty twisting!
>Everything is upsy daysy
>Titty twisting !
>Minotaurs are acting crazy
>Mares are sore and and cows are a bouquet
>That's the way on titty twisting day
>Titty twisting !
>Beat the teata and pull the udders
>Titty twisting !
>Grope the mares, diamond dogs and Minos
>Streaming in from Chartres to Calais
>Searching hands are extra searchy
>On the sixth of January
>All because it's titty twisting day
>Come one, come all!
>Hurry, hurry here's your chance
>See the mystery and romance
>Come one, come all!
>See the biggest tits that prance
>Make an entrance to entrance
>Helga Minotaura
>Dance!

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>>30268752
>Here it is, the moment you've been waiting for
>Here it is, you know exactly what's in store
>Now's the time we twist until the mares get sore
>Now's the time we crown the Queen of Twist
>So twist so hard it's horrible and frightening
>Twist so hard and gruesome as a gargoyle's wing
>For the twist that's painfulest will be the Queen of Twists
>Why?
>Titty twisting!
>Busty girls, forget your shyness
>Titty twisting!
>You could soon be called Your Highness
>Put your aching features on display
>Be the queenof titty twisting day
>Everybody!
>Once a year we throw a party here in town
>Hail to the queen
>Once a year we turn the city upside down
>Oh, what a queen!
>Once a year the bustyest will wear a crown
>Girls, give a twist!
>Once a year on titty twistingday
>We've never had a queen like this
>And it's the day we do the things that we deplore
>On the other three hundred and sixty-four
>Once a year we love to drop in
>Where the beer is never stoppin'
>For the chance to pop some popinjay
>And pick a queen who'll put the top
>In Titty twisting Day
>Titty twisting
>Mad and crazy, upsy daysy, Titty twisting Day!

>>30268752
>>30268755
Lyrics are shit, don't quit your day job

>>30263363
Stars - My Radio (AM Mix)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvXN4d0bHDw

Elton John - Without Question (Road to El Dorado Movie Version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7v5-HGsYGE

John Morris - Hope For the Best (Expect the Worst)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt1cA0jqamk

Miracle of Sound - The Best of Us
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aN9C1ehwrQ8

Jim Croce - I'll Have to Say I Love You in a Song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6Vn17S37_Y

...

And just to get the mares riled up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F39uC9IlI0

>>30263363
The Princess of Friendship should approve of this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuVXFHVVv7M

>>30261954
Fair point, I'm using the term as a broader self insert sense. In particular the "loser I can identify with doing something super cool" sense. It's a trope that really bugs me.
>>30261969
Yeah you got lots of good points anon. And I'm probably misusing the everyman title . I'm not exactly a literature major. But I won't retract my gripes. I can't explain it well without picking it apart line by line, which is WAY more time than I'm willing to give, but fact remains that to me the character feels off. And bits of the plot do too like the instant citizen papers etc. I can come up with logical answers as to why all these things make sense but they just don't sit right.

Mainly it is still the moment to moment jumpiness to casualness tho.

Ultimately it seems I'm alone in this tho so writefag probably shouldn't worry about it. 7 can't write for everyone.

>>30263363
>tfw you just realized you mostly listen to bands with female singers
well I know more about myself now. This is mine

https://youtu.be/lPOM0IUsd_0

>Music is the only magic Anon has.

>>30269399
>being able to always check numerals is the only magic Anon has

How would each pone react to accidentally hurting anon?

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>>30268527
>HELLO ED BOY

>>30269763
> Rainbow Dash
Nervous apologies, making a lame joke, following Anon around to make sure he's okay, and that nothing hits him where she hurt him
Panic if he actually cries a little, compulsively buying Anon flowers and chocolate.
> Pinkie Pie
Horrified silence for the first minute, with full mane deflation. Then an overwhelming flood of "I'm so sorry!" and cupcakes. Possibly dropping a bag of flour on her head, if she was foalsitting the twins recently.

> Fluttershy
Completely shutting herself in, contemplating nipponese square number games.With enough coaxing, Anon might reassure her enough that she opens the door and talks to him. At that point, she insists on excessively bandaging the injury. She might instinctively kiss it better, and then nearly die from embarrassment.

> Rarity
Get ready for a lot of pampering and bribing. Do you like going to the spa? How about the opera? Dinner? How about a new wardrobe?

> Applejack
She probably accepts Anon's claim that it doesn't hurt that much, but she still insists on him punching her so that they are square. For the next month, anon finds apple pies on his doorstep.

> Twilight Sparkle
Nervous breakdown, before and/or after teleporting Anon to the hospital. Almost turns herself in to the guard for assault, before Anon talks her out of it.

>>30269971
>Glimmer
Mimd controls him into thinking he deserved it for something he did so he thanks her for setting him straight.

>>30269971
>anon asks for pay back

>RD
Grab her out of the air and use her as a arm warmer for the rest of the day
>Ponk
Eat cupcakes together
>Fluttershy
chill in her house while repeatedly saying we're cool
>Rarararara
let her play out her Marshmallowdrama then settle for pizza
>Applehat
pinch cheeks
>Twiggles
Tell the Ponice she just a shit ton of energy drinks and she's over reacting, she drank 23 MUNSTER energy drinks and claims now can see in fifth dimension.
ponice just let her go while you hold her under your arm until you get home to the castlebrary

>>30269971
>>30270021
This ... is surprisingly good characterization.

>>30269971
How would Celestia, Luna, or Cadence react?

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>>30270021
>all of Glimglam's friendship lessons being mind control based is canon

>Sunshine
Anal.

>Dazzlings
4 way creampies. Yes, you get creampied too...

>>30269971
I like Rainbow, Applejack and Twilight's reactions the best

>>30264243
>Anon ended up having a bad time with all of them and their crazy trip ideas.
>Except for Fluttershy, who had the idea of a quiet time together at her cottage to get to know each other.
>They had sex.
>Much to the other main 5's disbelief.

>>30268719
>ywn be small enough to literally bathe in mommy's and daddy's cummies

Why even live?

>>30270039
> Cadance
Apologizes simply, and asks if he is alright. Fetches an ice bag or bandaid or whatever, and a carton of ice cream. She's lived with a stallion long enough not to panic, and no one says no to good ice cream.

> Luna
Apologizes regally, and moves on with her day/night. However, you later find on your doorstep a small filigreed box with some jewelry inside. A note at the bottom indicates that this is a donation to you dowry, as is traditional. Your dreams for the next little while are mostly comforting, with one or two wet dreams Luna accidentally starts, and can't bring herself to stop watching.

> Celestia
Motherly concern as she summons the royal physician, but you can see the suppressed panic with the depths of her eyes. At the end of the day, she invites you to her chambers for tea. You end up reassuring her that you are fine, and that the soreness is almost entirely gone. She is glad that you are feeling better, it's one less thing to worry about after her long, trying day. You ask her about it, and before long, she is laying her head in your lap as you stroke her mane, saying all the things she couldn't say in court. Celestia accidentally falls asleep in this position, and you can't bring yourself to move. In the morning, she is quite embarrassed about trapping you that way, and teleports you to your room to avoid gossip. Later, you are offered the post of Royal Confidant.

> Chrysalis
She laughs maniacally and tries to pass it off as a tactic to break your spirit. Drones raid high class restaurants and beautiques. At night, when she thinks you are sleeping, she cuddles up and strokes your hair.

> Sombra
CRYSTAAAAAAALLLLLLLSSSSSS

>>30270308
Now what happens if they accidentally break your arm

>>30270382
I break them in bed.

>>30268843
Could you explain the citizen papers? On one hand I could sort of squint and see why that might seem like a problem, because they shouldn't be so trusting I'm guessing? Or he might be capable of something they haven't seen yet? On the other, all that extra scrutiny only really serves to slow down the pacing a lot of the time. Some of this was indirectly addressed with Twilight vouching for him, her summoning using parameters, and Equestria. Then there's the RGRE aspects so he's seen a bit differently. I don't know if NoF really thought that far, but the groundwork to justify Celestia bypassing the red tape is there.

>>30257001
>>30268305
>Anon has no tail to begin with

Uh oh.

>>30270308
>"CRYSTAAAAAAALLLLLLLSSSSSS"
"You heard me i said enough with this new age shit! You have no idea how much crazy-ex-PTSD you're giving me right now by hanging this crap everywhere."
>"Crystaaaalsss?"
"Hell no i am not substituting them for mares you dirty minded fu- Look, i thought the goal here was to 'heal' me not kill me through dehydration.
>".....crystaaal?"
"You asshole you know i cant say no to that face, Fine! I'll snuggle with ONE of the concubines tonight if you just stop looking at me like that."
>"Crrrrrrystal."
"Yes i know which one is most suitable, you got me that chart for my birthday remember?"
>"Crysssstal rawrrrrrrrgh ragh."
"Yeah yeah i know you're just worried, but i'll be fine! Although if you're this concerned about my leg you should really invest in some carpets, or at least stop polishing the floors so damn much."

Not particularly RGRE unless you make sombra's rule so bad because he opposed the maretriarchy, but are there any stories about Anon and Sombra being bros?

>>30270845
Kek

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>>30270308
>> Chrysalis
>She laughs maniacally and tries to pass it off as a tactic to break your spirit. Drones raid high class restaurants and beautiques. At night, when she thinks you are sleeping, she cuddles up and strokes your hair.
That's kinda cute.

>>30271537
>Badumsquish
Anon, do you like getting pegged by futa mares? I do...

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>>30271553
I don't give a shit about most of his awful art, only the occasional cute pic.

Such is my stance on all art.

>>30270804
A male of a species of mostly-hairless creatures with no tail would be like the RGRE equivalent of a female alien with zero pubic hair whatsoever.
No shaving, no waxing, just constantly smooth flesh.

Anon would be a sex god.

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>>30271569
Who do you think you're fooling?

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>>30271581

>>30268459
Twiggles all depends on when Anon arrived and how much jurisdiction she's granted over him by Celestia if it's pre-Twilicorn. In the early seasons, Mayor Mare would be the pony in charge if an ET were to show up one day. At least until Celestia arrives.

Like in Xenophilia it's also possible that humans can't easily pick up or return a lot of the subtle pony mating social cues. Lero still couldn't pick up on them when he was being hit on by strangers even after being in a herd for some time. I did think it was weird that Twilight didn't know about human courtship practices until she decided to date him, but she also had no individual authority at that point in the show to confine him for extended QA. Plus she would probably be interested in a ton of other shit before getting into that topic.

>>30269971
Why are we assuming the hurt is physical?

>>30271674
>Like in Xenophilia
I still haven't read that one despite having been around a long time. I seem to notice it being referenced and mentioned more and more in my wanderings recently.

>>30271837
Its kind of shit, the LaP version is infinitely better.

>>30271837
It's an okay HiE with a fairly detailed and semi-rgre AU. A good read if you go in expecting a fanfic and not a novel like everyone makes it out to be. No idea why it blew up like it did.

>>30271837
It's pretty good.
A bit overhyped, but all-in-all, a good read.

The human's name is the result of ultra-autism, but the story itself is decent, with a great story to sex-scene/clop ratio.

One of the things that bugs me about a bunch of HiE RGRE stories is that the human (when male) rarely actually acts like a guy from a place with our gender roles would in RGRE.

At least this one got it just right (except for the "no blowjobs" part, that's pretty gay).

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>>30271815
what would they have to do that would make you not even want to talk to them anymore Anons?

>>30271837
Basically what >>30271859 and >>30271912 said. The original Xenophilia story is a mild RGRE story with a pretty bland human character. The whole overall story is kinda meh, but the world building is decent and has some pretty good clop. The spin-offs of Xenophilia are definitely hit or miss.

>>30271837
It's like the fic that spawned herds and stuff. The proto-RGRE. Worth a read but it's really only good on the clop and world building end.

>>30263130
>>30271837
>>30271855
>Nof's Fallout: IRL Anon and Xenophilia meet
>Ghoul's Sexy Predator Anon and Xenophilia meet
Am I the only one who wonders what would happen if "portal opens between Xenophilia and 'random fic' " for about everything here?

>>30272105
No, we all wonder that, its just that we still need to wait for LaP to get back to his version.

>>30271912
>that the human (when male) rarely actually acts like a guy from a place with our gender roles would in RGRE.

Not accepting every offer to fug?

Hey, I got more page Anon

>>30263363
Hmm
https://youtu.be/uQBfBwllmW4

>>30272170
>Be Twilight
>You and Princess Celestia had been walking for hours up and down the market, trying to awe your guests
>Never, in all of the years you had lived in Canterlot, had you spent this much time in the market and, oddly enough, you were pleasantly surprised with what you were finding there
>A dozen bookstores that you didn't know existed, a charm and hex shop, half a dozen stores that sold only herbs and other potion-based items
>You had a feeling that some of the stores weren't exactly on the up-and-up, especially since a few of the store owners looked more than a little nervous when you poked your head into their places of business, but you made a note of them all of the same
>Legal or not, you might find something very interesting in those stores
>Maybe you'd luck out and find some long forgotten spell books written by a famous unicorn!
>And if there was something fishy about a store, you could always have a few guards check everything out...
>Still, bookstores and magical shops aside, this was about your guests
>The lord Aegis and his men-at-arms
>The lord and his knights surrounded both you and Princess Celestia
>At first, you had thought it was because the stallions were nervous and were huddling together like groups of stallions were known to do, but as time went on you realized that that wasn't the case
>They weren't scared; like a unit of guards they had surrounded you and the princess with their hands on their weapons, so that you and Princess Celestia weren't chaperoning them as they were guarding you
>And it felt... odd
>Having such a big group of stallions surrounding you, so silent and focused
>You weren't too fond of them holding and flashing their blades like they were, and they might have been a little too rough pushing ponies out of the way as you all navigated the crowds, but there was something almost fantastical about it

>>30272179
>Most mares couldn't say that they had a guard that consisted entirely of giant, fierce, exotic males
>It was almost like one of those dreams you had after drinking way too much ginger ale
>Except this was real, and these stallions weren't wearing nothing but ball bras
>Unfortunately
>You couldn't help but puff up in pride when you saw looks of disbelief and jealousy that were thrown your way
>Out of the corner of your eye, you could see your old teacher puffing up a bit as well as she talked with Lord Aegis
>The lord was quietly listening to what he had to say, tapping his giant warhammer against his shoulder while he did so
>If you had been a nosier pony, you might have perked your ears up and tried to listen in on their conversation, but you knew better than to do that
>The princess knew what she was doing--she was the PRINCESS after all-- and you had no doubt that she'd tell you what they were talking about later
>So, leaving the two of them well enough alone, you continued to do what you did best
>Spouting random but educational facts
"--That little building right there may look like nothing special, but it used to be the home of the famous painter Dot Spot. She was the pony responsible for bringing about the modern expansionist style and--"
>Since you weren't really much of a tour guide, you had decided to unleash your steady flow of information to one of the knights and hope you were being loud enough that they'd all hear you
>The stallion that was bearing the brunt of your verbal assault was standing next to you, a knight that went by the name of Ser Kyilth
>Ser Kyilth was one of the smaller stallions in the group, with almond skin and the blackest pair of eyes that you had ever seen
>The stallion's hair had been completely shaved off, revealing a very complex and ornate tattoo that made its way down his neck and back
>You had asked about the markings, and the knight had been happy to answer with short, quick sentences

>>30272184
>The markings were a right of passage for his people
>When young boys came of age, they were taken to what he called a "village mother"
>They were then put in a chair, where they'd be forced to sit while the old mare used a giant needle and hammer to make the markings
>You, of course, had been horrified by the news, so horrified that you nearly forgot about the tour you were giving
>What kind of mare would do something like that to a stallion?!
>It was SICK!
>You might have made a spectacle, if the knight had not explained himself further
>The marks were a right of massage that turned colts into stallions, he had said, one that would immediately stop if the young stallion were to make so much as a sound
>He went on to explain that the further down and more ornate the tattoo was the more prestige the young stallion would get
>Some males had markings all the way down to their ankles, while some had elected to have markings expand around their bodies so that not only their backs were covered but their chests as well
>This information did absolutely nothing to calm your fears, but from the way that the knight talked, and the way that some of the other knights that had similar markings perked up in pride, you knew not to voice your outrage
>Cruel or not, the stallions seemed to take pride in their tattoos
>If you said anything bad about them, or how wrong it seemed to you that their village mother would do something like that to them, they might take offense
>And if they took offense Lord Aegis might get mad
>And if he got mad he might up and leave, ruining the whole diplomatic trip and maybe WORSE!
>So, you could only swallow your outrage and continue forward
>Though that didn't mean you couldn't promise to beat the horse apples out of this village mother if you ever saw her
>The monster...
>As you told the knights about an old section of wall that helped hold off an army of bandits when Canterlot was still in its infancy, you let your gaze wander

>>30272188
>You stared at the bald, tattooed men that refused to wear helmets; and the lathe, squat men with their golden hair and bright blue eyes; at the pale, shift-eyed men with skin so hard that it was almost black; at the men that stood above all the others, with their massive frames and well-kept beards
>Northerners, southerners, easterlings, and westerlings
>Four tribes of humans, each so radically different from each other, yet all standing before you
>You knew nothing about the human's history, nopony did other than a few accounts and husband's tales
>And, looking at each knight, you couldn't help but wonder WHY
>Why were all four tribes together now?
>Why did they look so different?
>Were they always united, or were they like the ponies before the tribes came together?
>Did humans even call their different peoples tribes?
>There was so much to ask
>You had questions that you wanted to ask, so many that you'd no doubt be able to fill books with them
>If you were just able to sit down with a few of these stallions you'd cast a light on Humeyithal and it's people
>You'd educate millions
>MILLIONS...
>You tore your gaze away from the knights, biting your lip
>A shiver ran up the length of your spine, causing you to ruffle your wings, but you managed to mostly keep yourself together
>You'd be with Lord Aegis and his knights for a few days at least...
>There was a good chance that you'd be able to ask them a FEW questions...
>Looking back at the stallions, your gaze settled on the young colt that Lord Aegis kept as a page
>Just like the others, he was looking cautiously around, a hand on the dagger that hung on his belt

>>30272195
>"Of course, pr--Twilight," he said, his tone careful. "And thank you."
"You're very welcome," you said with a nod
>All around you, grips on sword hilts went slack and the tension left some of the knights shoulders
>Alright...
>You're doing good, Twilight...
>Just ease into it...
"Anon? Would it be alright if I asked you which tribe you're from?" you asked
>Anon's head cocked to the side
>"Tribe?"
"Yes, tribe. You know, the Northerners, southerners..."
>Anon's eyes widened in realization
>"Oh, I'm a westerling," he said, running a hand through the mop of hair on his head. "Your hi--er, I mean Twilight."
>You looked over at one of the stallions with his tattoos
"Which tribe would he be from, if you don't mind me asking?"
>To your surprise, the stallion that you had gestured towards turned to look at you
>"I'm a easterling," he said, with an accent so foreign that you almost couldn't understand him
>Anon nodded
>"Yeah. He's an easterling, I'm a westerling. Ser Araoon is a southerner, and Ser Telfi is a northerner," he said, pointing out one of the stallions behind you, who nodded in confirmation
>Another shiver ran up the length of your spine
>You'd give your wings to have a piece of parchment and a quill right now...
"If you don't mind me asking, why do you name your tribes after directions?"
>"We don't call ‘em tribes, girl," one of the Northerners said, tugging on his beard
>Your head snapped toward him
"If you don't call your different races tribes then what do you call them then?" you asked
>The knight shrugged

>>30272202
>"I know we don't call ‘em that."
>Okay...
>Still though, you were getting somewhere!
"Well, can you tell me what's the difference between your peoples? If you don't want to answer that's completely fine, but I've just..."

~_~_~_~_~_~

>Be Celestia
>You were watching your student with a small smile on your face
>All around you, you could see Lord Aegis’s men staring at the purple alicorn, some of them even chiming in to answer her questions
>The suspicion was still there, as was some hesitation, but it was nowhere near as bad as it had been when you stepped out of the castle...
>Your chest couldn't help but puff out a bit
>You should have known that you had nothing to worry about
>Twilight, though she was a bit funny at times, could make friends with a pony at the drop of a hat
>You were sure, if she had a day or two with these stallions, she'd win each and everyone of them over
>Especially the young colt in the group, Anon
>The little stallion was answering most of Twilight's questions, and, to your delight, he was even asking questions of his own
>You could see excitement in the page's face, the same excitement that you had seen in Twilight's eyes when she was little
>It was the excitement of learning
>Broadening your horizons and doing your best to know more than you had the day before
>The sight filled your chest with a pleasant warmth
>This was the first step...
>And with it friendship...
>Out of the corner of your eye, you could see lord Aegis eyeing ponies in the market, completely ignoring Twilight altogether

>>30272207
>He would be the hardest to win over, you knew
>From what you had gathered from the Minotaur Empress, this stallion had a reputation for disliking the other races
>For very good reasons no doubt, from what little history of Humeyithal you knew
>But that just meant you had to work a little harder to win him over...
"Is there something wrong, my lord?" you asked
>Lord Aegis didn't answer you for several seconds, his eyes scanning the buildings around you
>"We're being followed."
>...
>What?
>Your ears perked up
"Excuse me, my lord?"
>Aegis's grip on his hammer tightened
>"Someone is tailing us," he said. "I have a feeling that they've been tailing us since we left the castle."
>You were about to stop and look around, but thought better of it at the last moment
>Somepony was tailing you?
>That was nonsense!
>You were sure a curious pony or two might be tailing you so they could get a better look at the lord and his knights, but there was no tailing!
"Are you sure, my lord? You may just be imagining thin--"
>"When I was a younger man I lived in the capital of Humeyithal, in one of the poorest, most crime-ridden sections of the city," Aegis interrupted, staring at you with the utmost seriousness. "I know when I'm being followed."
>You opened your mouth to calm the stallions fears, but found that you couldn't
>As silly as what he was suggesting sounded, what if he was right?
>What if you were being followed?
>Slowly, you looked over your shoulder
>There were all manner of ponies around; far too many to single out one with less than noble intentions

>>30272221
>The warmth in your stomach disappeared
>It was replaced with stomach-knotting nervousness
>Oh filly...
>Here we go...
"...You wouldn't happen to know where this follower is, would you?" you asked quietly
>"That's what I've been trying to figure out since we've left," lord Aegis quietly replied. "But if they're anywhere they're up on the rooftops."
"Rooftops?"
>The lord nodded
>"Aye. It'd make the cunt following us harder to see, and let them keep pace with us."
>Your brow furrowed
>So if there was a stalker--which you weren't saying there WAS-- they'd be a pegasus, or at least a unicorn that knew levitation
>But why would somepony be following you...?
>Unfortunately for you, the answer came in a sharp, metallic sound, which was followed by the sound of something flying through the air at terrifying speeds
>Out of the corner of your eye, you could see something flying toward lord Aegis
>You let out a cry, your horn sparking to life, but it was too late
>A crossbow bolt slammed into the lord's shoulder with a sickening, meaty smack
>Lord Aegis, though he was a giant of a man, was launched forward, falling face first into the ground
>His warhammer fell from his hands and the lord went still
>Deathly still
>No...
>NO!
>Nonononononononononono!
>The lord's knight's spun around, letting out cries of their own
>A few feet away, a stallion screamed
>Ponies gasped
>You stood there, frozen
>Nonononononononono...
>Your heart skipped a beat as you looked down at him...
>Only for him to jump back up a moment later, his teeth gritted and his eyes blazing
>"YOU SOD-CUNTING BASTARD!" he roared, the steel tipped bolt sticking through his shoulder. "YOU PIG FUCKING, SHIT EATING MOTHER HUMPER!"

>>30272231
>Already, the lord's wound was bleeding heavily, but he didn't seem to notice, bending down and snatching up his hammer with his uninjured arm
>As he did that his knight's drew their weapons
>"I SEE YOU!" Lord Aegis snarled. "I SEE YOU, YOU CROSSBOW WIELDING BLIGHTER!"
>He pointed at a rooftop
>Straining your eyes, you could see the head of a pony just before it disappeared
>Lord Aegis let out a growl, gritting his teeth
>The sight made you take a half step back
>"Come on boys, we got a coward to find!"

>>30272238
Alright, I'm done

>>30272247
WHY? WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THAT LaP? WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.

>>30269971
Need some green on something like this

>>30270382
Yeah what would happen if they accidentally seriously hurt anon

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>>30272247
>dat cliffhanger

>>30272238
Oh, I love a good public execution, Lord Aegis reminds me of the Jew Bear from Inglorious Bastards. It is perfect. I cant wait to see if he tries too mount the fucker with his warhammer up its ass.

>>30272195
>>30272202
You missing a part between these?

>>30272105
>>Nof's Fallout: IRL Anon and Xenophilia meet
>A Xeno pone gets a bit too aggressive and earns a reflexive skull caving punch.
>Resources dedicated to finding Anon afterward ether return empty hooved or are found mangled weeks later.

>>Ghoul's Sexy Predator Anon and Xenophilia meet
>Xeno Ponyville looses it's collective shit in a fit of fear and raging lust.

>>30272247
Oh, man. I was expecting the Minotaurs to try something. Wait, what happened to them anyway? Did I miss an update?

>>30272312
> Anon didn't get much sleep the night before
> Trips on his way to get the morning paper
> Scrapes his knee, which he then washes off and ignores
> Throughout the day, ponies bump into him etc and suddenly worry that they are the one that caused the injury

>>30272238
Fucking kek, dat murderous rage.

>>30272105

>Shuk's Single Dad Anon and Xenophilia meet.
>Deadbeat Mom Cadance gets nothing but the stink eye from Xenophilia Cadance
>Lero and his herd are jealous of Anon for being able to easily have kids with ponies, but otherwise polite

>>30272247
It's the nobel who had their daughter beaten for rape. I'm calling it!

>>30273407
Meant to say that the nobel hired the hitpony.

>>30273412
I will place my bet on this too.

>>30273407
my bet is its someone who's about to regret being born

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>>30273407
That would be the obvious answer, but I'm kind of hoping it was a mino that hired the hitpony trying to start a war between the humans and ponies so they can swoosh in and "save" the ponies while eliminating their hated foe/ancestor.

>>30273733
Oh shit, that's clever.

>>30273407
>>30273412
IT'S NOBLE.

FUCK.

>>30272179
Where's the pastebin of this?

>>30274005
Start here: https://pastebin.com/LDbK9Hvw

>>30273733
/pol/ get out.
Not everyone is a jew.

>>30273733
But I thought the minos wanted to conquer humans for their sweet, sweet men.

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>>30274094
Where did you even get the jew comparison?
Genuine question, I'm not seeing it.

>>30274138
It's literally a tactic jews have used in the past and continue to use.

Create problem.
"Fix" problem.
Profit.
Create a new problem.

>>30273124
Heh, not to toot my own horn, but I was the Anon who suggested the original prompt that Shuk took up.

So long ago...

Anyway, I'd love to see others' take on the concept.

Deadbeat Mom Cadence is always good.

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610KB, 1846x743px

>>30274296
That's pretty broad, and you can apply it to most of America's wars.

>arm """"freedom fighters"""" to fight Russians
>area destabilized by fighting
>destabilized area breeds aloha snackbars
>""""liberate"""" area

Either way lets not go down that road, mlpol was a beautiful dream who's time is gone.

>>30274351
Her name is "Egg Donor".

>>30274351
It was a good story. I could kinda relate. Wife left me with the kids when we separated for a short while.

>>30271912
Yeah, that "no blowjobs" thing was fucking STUPID and outrageously autistic.

I'm quoting from memory here so it might be a little off, but I DO remember it was like a virgin getting a blowy: "I heard it was rude to just shoot into your throat."

What kind of dumbfuck excuse is that?! What kind of faggot doesn't like blowjobs? If you're concerned about being rude, JUST WARN HER! She has autonomy, she'll do what she wants with it!

>>30274628
>>30271912
Think his whole thing was that he didn't want to let loose in their mouths rather than the not liking bjs thing. He got a lot of bjs, but it was definitely an autistic "I don't like doing that" thing there.

>>30274628
It's also dumb since the unbalance gender ratio means that most mares go years without seeing a penis. Adding a level of mystery to the cock.

>>30271912
>>30274628
>>30274721

I'm just glad I'm not the only one who got annoyed by this.

>>30274737
Oh, I have so many gripes with Xenophilia even though it's the story that got me on the non-Anthro horsefucking train.

>>30273957
Sorry friend

>>30274841
I find it hard to be to critical of it, the backstory of its conception is that the original writer didn't want to post it public, but a friend convinced her(allegedly) that people should read it so he posted it for her.

>>30274860
>her

>>30274841
Mind sharing a bit? It's always interesting to hear them so that one can avoid repeating those mistakes.

>>30274866
Don't make your main male character a flat doormat piece of shit.

>>30274721
>>30274869
And if you do, don't make their line in the sand that they won't cross be that they won't cum in her mouth.

What made it even more stupid was that Rainbow *wanted* it, and he still wouldn't do it.

That spineless motherfucker bent over backwards to do what Rainbow and most every other pony ever asked him to do. And *this* is the thing you're gonna put your foot down over? Really?

>>30274351

Well this isn't quite Deadbeat Mom

Anonymous Sun 23 Apr 2017 10:04:25 No.29934165 View
>>29933199
>>29933358
>>29933306
>>29933217

So it'd go something like this?

>Teen Anon ends up in Equestria in the remote town where Cadance was raised
>The ponies don't really know what to make of him, and him of them, but they recognize that he's a good person who needs a place to stay
>Cadance's adoptive family decides to take him in
>Teen Cadance (who has yet to become an alicorn) and Anon become fast friends, which quickly develops further into young love
>Anon helps Cadance on the adventure that causes her to become an alicorn
>Victory Sex ensues, with no protection because they figure humans and ponies can't have kids
>They get surprised by the pregnancy, but roll with it and make plans to get married once they graduate high school
>Celestia arrives to investigate the rumors of the new alicorn, and is surprised by Anon, Cadance, as well as the imminent birth
>Celestia was originally going to let them live in peace, but that changes once she figures out that Cadance is the last living descendant of the true rulers of the Crystal Empire, whom Sombra killed to seize power
>Celestia needs to prepare Cadance to fight Sombra when he returns, because he'll come to attack her first once he realizes there's a threat to his rule
>She asks Cadance to move to Canterlot once Venus is born so she can learns everything she needs to claim her birthright
>Cadance and Anon have a difficult talk about where their relationship goes from here
>They decide on a mutual break up and to keep Venus secret from most of Equestria to protect her from the political scandal of a new Princess with an illegitimate child, as well as being potentially targeted by Sombra
>Cadance six months after Venus is born to properly nurse her, then leaves for Canterlot with Celestia