>"You better not cause any trouble, monkey-man. I'll

>>30244000
This is the worst prompt I've seen all week

>>30244008
Good news: it's not new.

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>>30244000
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>30244008
Go back to your barbie spam

>>30244008
You don't visit enough green centric generals.

>>30244061
I actively avoid them

>>30244000
Is that a threat or are you just trying to show off.

>>30244076
The your on the wrong bored pal it's nothing but that
T. Nave seal pasta anon

>>30244008
Agree.
>you better not do thing or I'll punish you with an amazing blowjob
Oh okay.

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>>30244000
>"Don't listen to Limestone, Anonymous."
>"If anyone is going to drain your balls, it's going to be me."
>"Provided you disobey me by touching Holder's Boulder."
>"...Which you should."

>>30244000
"Nnnnnot going anywhere near Holder's Boulder."
>"Good! Because you'd regret it if you did!"
"Yup."
>"So stay away from it!"
"Uh-huh."
>"Don't even face the same direction as it!"
"Yeah."
>"Got it?"
"Mhmm."
>"Good!"
"Yah-huh."
>"Cause some ponies around here are clueless!"
"Yaw."
>"And Holder's Bolder? That's MY birthright. Nopony touches it!"
"Ya."
>"So don't get any ideas!"
"Mmm."
>"... ... ...Okay?"
"Got it."
>"... ... ...Don't you want to at least think about Holder's Boulder?"
"Nope."
>"... You sure?"
"Yep."
>"Not even for a second?"
"Naw."
>"Oh..."
"Yeah."

>>30244133
Learn English and finish middle school before replying to me again

>>30244159
>"Because I don't have eyes on the back of my head!"
"Noted."
>"And I can't be watching that old rock all the time!"
"Probably not."
>"And I don't know about that stupid place you came from, but ponies aren't psychic!"
"Okay."
>"And they can't just tell when some hairless monkey is up to no good!"
"Right."
>"So if somepony touched Holder's Boulder--"
"I'm not interested--"
>"What??"
"--in touching Holder's Boulder."
>"Oh."
"Yeah."
>"Well... I SAID that was good, didn't I? Try to listen for once!"
"Okay."
>"Because Holder's Boulder isn't just some toy!"
"You've mentioned."
>"And I don't want some bipedal butt face anywhere near HOLDER'S BOULDER!"
"You'll literally never have to worry about that."
>"Good!"
"Limestone."
>"Y-yeah?"
"I'm not interested in fucking you."
>"H--...Hey! You think you can just walk into somepony's farm and curse like the royal guard?"
"I'm not going to fuck you."
>"HEY!... ... ... Why... Why not?"

>>30244137
That's entirely on the execution and genre though. Your summary works if you're intentionally spoofing the tsundere archetype and focusing on humor rather than the sex part.

>>30244214
Are you unironically defending poorly-thought prompts? No wonder the board is so shit

>>30244254
OP being a faggot aside, did I say anything wrong?

>>30244207
"You're absolutely terrifying."
>"Terrifying?!"
"See? You just yelled so loud that the wall rattled."
>"YEAH well--"
"And then again."
>"--well... maybe if SOMEPONY would try to be a better listener--"
"I can hear you from half way across your farm."
>"--then you would've known I said 'DON'T touch Holder's Boulder!'"
"You threatened to blow my monkey bologna like a kazoo."
>"You're hearing things!"
"Aaaaaand so will you."
>"What--?"
"When I leave and slam the door behind me--"
>"Wait--"
"And you and Holder's Boulder will have aalllll the alone time you clearly wanted."
>"But--"
"So thanks for the rock soup, the bedrock rock bed, and the rocky finale, but I'm gonna split."
>"JUST--"
"FUCK MY SHIT UP SENPAI"
>As you walk out of the house, you slam the door behind you.
>Already the guilt is settling in.
>How could you shoot down that little pony so brutally?
>Putting a hand to your chin, you bury yourself in thought.
>It's the only way.
>You briskly pace towards Holder's Boulder, extending a hand towards it as you march.
>Turning back, you see Limestone in the window, staring at you with a frown that slowly begins to turn to a smile.
>Finally, you stop inches from the boulder.
>Her dilated pupils can be made out from this distance.
>You lean towards the boulder...
>Your hand presses against the cold, hard surface...
>And you push it off the cliff, following with a jump into the air and clapping your shoes together two times before dashing for the main road.
>A light echo catches up with you as you run.
>"AAAAAANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON"

>>30244254
>are you unironically defending
>hurr durr

Nah, this is why the board is shit. You can't critically think without attaching some kind of tribalism to it. He can still think the prompt is shit while also thinking your reason is shit.

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>>30244292
The mad man. Is he kill?

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This is the one you actually have to watch out for.

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>>30244441
>You'll never marry Marble in a shotgun wedding

>>30244207
I am enjoying this.

>>30244292
>Your hand presses against the cold, hard surface...
This will end in sex
>And you push it off the cliff, following with a jump into the air and clapping your shoes together two times before dashing for the main road.
Make that murder.

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>>30244292
pretty decent after a poor prompt
+1 Sparkle

>>30244008
Not when stuff like this

>>30244159
>>30244207
>>30244292

comes out of it.
I'd gladly give up precious time if it meant waiting for a goose to shit gold. I'll take it. It was funny, slightly erotic, and overall made me feel good on the inside.

>>30245476
So >>30244214 was right all along?

>>30244589
murdersex is best sex

>>30244292
good shit

>>30244441
She's the kinkiest of them all, even counting Pinkie.

>>30248653
too bad she's such an awful pony in general

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>>30244720
>gif

>>30244076
Kind of a rigged game if you're not going to like any of them anyway desu.

>>30248653
Please don't tell me she's going to stick rocks up your butt.

>>30248653
doubt.png

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>>30244155
>"Don't listen to Maud either Nonny."
>"I wanna be the first to drain your balls."
>"And I won't make you do anything regarding Holder's Boulder neither."
>"Just come on up to my room when you're reeaady."

>>30253972
Don't listen, it's a trap. Sexual antics with Pinkie will inevitably end in tears, shame, and frosting. Not in a fun way. For you.

>>30248653
It's always the quiet ones.

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>>30254058
really makes me think...

>>30254034
But I like frosting.

>>30244176
Why, anon? Restraining orders aren't enforceable online.

>>30244441
>not quints
Commit sudoku.

>>30255786
Do you like yeast infections? Because that's what you're going to get when Pinkie shoots load after load of frosting up your butt.

>>30257284

>Pinkie drains your balls, all right
>by stimulating your prostate
>with a candy-cane-colored-cooler strap-on
>she fills it with frosting
>one thrust, thrust, frosted butt later you're spurting your shame all over the floor while Pinkie Peg giggles her fool head off.

>>30257527
Kinda want. Yeast infections tho...

>>30257594
That's also how you get ants.

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>>30257594
>>30258529

>"It's OK, Nonny! I've got a big bag of saline and an enema bag soooooo ready to go!"

>>30244292
CONTINUE

>>30256362
>tfw you just noticed

Reeeeeeeeeeeed

>>30244358
his dick is going to wish he was when Best Pie is done with it

>>30258586
Is there any giod nurse pinkie green?

>>30244292
my attention, you have it. continue

>>30253972
>>30244155
>>30244000
>You take out a pad and pen.
"Alright, hold on, let me figure this out.
>You start writing your words down as the pones look on. Their expressions form a motley gallery of excitement, unyielding stoicism, and confusion.
"Go to...Pinkie's room first...cause she...wants to be first."
>The Pink one squees so hard at the prospect of getting to suck your dick first, that you find yourself wondering if the ponies are under the impression you ejaculate a blend of chocolate and peanut butter.
>"Ooh, that sounds deeeeeelicious, Nonny, but it'd be even BETTER as chocolate and marshmallow fluff!" says Pinkie. You decide not to waste time wondering how she knows what the prior line says.
>Maud and Limestone likewise don't acknowledge her meta-commentary.
>"Wuh- she's not the only one who-!" begins Limestone loudly before trailing off, and finishing with "Don't touch holder's boulder!"
>Maud nods. "Yes. I suspect all three of us would like to be first."
>Pinkie, gets between her sisters and throwing a foreleg over each of them, pupils having somehow become stars. She shouts "But it's gonna be me!" with the kind of enthusiasm normally reserved for people who have just been proposed to, or informed that their cancer is in remission.
"Wait, hold on." you start, "You two" - gesturing between the two grey mares - "said you'd suck my dick if I touched holder's boulder. How's that gonna work with the both of you? You gonna take turns? Fight over it?".
>"I'd win!" interjects Limestone before thinking for a second and trying to fight back a blush.
>Maud simply goes, "Hm." dismissively before turning to you. "Technically, I said I would drain your balls. I did not specify a method, unlike my sister Limestone. Given that Pinkie likewise mentioned ball-draining, Limestone is the only one who has limited your means of release to oral sex."
>You duly note that down with a list of all three ponies - and a line connecting Limestone's name to the word 'bj'.

>>30261989
>Limestone fumes, practically staining the air near her red with anger. "It. Was. A. Suggestion!" she shouts into Maud's face with enough force to rupture an ear drum. "Anything is fine! He can fuck me if he'd like better!" At this moment, she realizes she has finally dropped the tsun part of her tsundere routine.
>She tries to reclaim it, turning to you, blushing once more, and trying not to backpedal physically as she does so verbally. "I - mean - it would...be terrible! I'd hate it! I hate you!". She looks satisfied. You find yourself wanting to mug to a camera with an expression that ask the audience 'you guys believe this shit?'.
>"I know that feel, Nonny." says Pinkie, being strangely candid and calm.
>"I wouldn't hate it." says a tomboyish voice coming from a nearby cloud.
>Your gaze, as well as those of the three Pie sisters present, is drawn upwards into the sky.
>"Is that somepony trespassing on our farm?!" shouts Limestone, her rage apparently now more murderous than sexual.
>The voice responds. "Hey, you own the land, not the sky. No trespass here."
>"Rainbow Dash is right, y'know." says Pinkie, casually ruining the reveal that was going to come several sentences later. "Dash, what are you doing here!?" she shouts, though unlike her sister's, her shouting is borne out of a desire to be heard rather than simple anger. "Are you giving me a surprise visit?!"
>"Yeah!" says Dash, happily, finally popping her head out from the cloud she was eavesdropping in. "I figured I'd drop in on ya, and finally get to meet my best buddy's family - ow! Hey, relax Gil." There's a pause before Rainbow continues, her tone somehow verbally expressing an eyeroll alongside the awkward cadence of a sentence you force yourself to say. "Okay, one of my best buddies' families." Then she whispers, "There, that better?".
>Pinkie starts bouncing in place with so much joy and excitement that you suspect she's about ready to achieve liftoff. "GILDA'S HERE TOO?!"

>>30262046
Moar

>>30262046
"Wait, who's Gilda?" you ask, curiousity piquing as you note that 'Gilda' is a very not-pony-like name - but you're pretty sure it's a human name, if a rare one.
Could there be a...an actual woman in that cloud? Somehow? And no one told you that you weren't the only human in Equestria?
>Maud follows up, her unemotional tone making her the only one of the group who seems to be at all mentally stable. "I likewise find myself curious about the uninvited individuals spying on me and my family on our private property" Damn. Stable, but cold.
>Limestone actually turns to Pinkie, "You need to tell us if you're gonna have ponies visiting! We have dinner for SEVEN ready. Not nine!" You find yourself shocked at the notion that her objection is being unprepared to be a good host for the strangers.
>There's a sudden shuffle of activity up in the cloud before an odd bundle of brown, yellow, and white is ejected from it, tumbling for a moment before coming to a stop and unfolding into a...bird...cat? A griffon?
>They have griffons here on top of everything else? You guess you shouldn't be surprised, given you've already met pegasi, unicorns, a dragon, and, oh yeah, a bunch of talking horses with a mad thirst for your penor.
>Equestria's weird.
>"Hey." says the griffon you assume is Gilda. She adopts an excessively relaxed posture in the air, leaning back on her forelegs, which are folded beneath her head. Even her wingbeats seem to try and look more...cool. "I'm Pinkie's friend. Hope it's cool me and the blue moron decided to drop in." She smirks over at the cloud.
>"Hey!" shouts Dash, who likewise emerges from the cloud, hooves on her hips in a faux-offended pose. "If I'm a moron, that makes you a...featherbrain!" She sticks her tongue out at Gilda.
>"I keep tellin' ya, you have feathers too, geniu-" retorts Gilda, before a mind-blowing shout suddenly overtakes the scene.

>>30262092
>"MY TWO BEST FRIENDS WANNA MEET MY FAMILYYYYYYYYYY" says Pinkie, finally fulfilling the promise of the post prior to the prior post, and leaping into the air with a speed and a force so sudden that she punctuation itself is left eating her dust. She's hugging the two of them before anyone present has time to react.
>No, really. There's a trail of dust, like the fucking Looney Tunes roadrunner.
>Looking at the other two, you note Limestone trying to mount another angry shout in the direction of the two flyers before abruptly deflating. Whether her anger left due to Pinkie's sheer silliness or the sincerity of her gesture, you can't say.
>Still, you turn to another page on the pad and write something important -
>MOTHERFUCKING GRIFFONS TOO
>WHAT ELSE LIVES HERE
> - before turning back to the prior page, with the list of pones who revealed today that they'd like to drain your balls.
>You add Rainbow Dash to the list. She said she 'wouldn't hate it' right?
>Maud sagely adds, "I hope I never get used to the ridiculous things my sister does." to the sound of Pinkie 'mmmmmm'ing as she squeezes Dash and Gilda into her sides. >You notice with yet more confusion that she's steadily floating back to the ground rather than dropping to it like a stone, despite neither the pegasus nor the griffon making any effort to flap their wings.
>It's such an odd, emotional moment, you almost feel bad about getting everybody back on track.
"I believe we were talking about draining my balls."
>Ten eyes all turn to you.

>>30262154
Alright, it's fucking 8 AM and I need to get to sleep, so that's all for now.
If the thread's up when I get back on, I might write more. Hope you enjoy reading what's here regardless.

>>30244000
>roleplaying
Delete this

>>30261989
Kek

>>30262183
>Hi, I'm Anonymous No. 30262183. I don't know what roleplay is!

>>30250691
Danke

>>30262154
I love this kind of greens. Not just because they are lewd but they are kind of lovely silly. I could read more of this.

Rock farm more like cock farm lmao

bimp

>>30263785
This.
Moar please.

>>30262802
It's when you post a picture of a character and some green text and a mod notices.

>>30244000
>roleplaying
Delete this

>>30267664
go away

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Limestone is best Pie.

>>30262154
writefriend has been gone for over a day. I put the odds of a return at 33.33% repeating of course.

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>>30271110
>Tries to meme with digits
>Off by one
Opinion disregarded

>>30262154
>>30262160
I'm liking where this is going.

>>30253972
>>30244155
>>30244000
>touch boulder
>leg it up to Pinkie's room
>foursome

>>30276019
Write that.

>boop the boulder

It's.... nice

>>30277767
don't boop Holder's Boulder

Suggestively lick holder's boulder.

>>30281105
Gently rest your balls on Holder's Boulder.

>>30282260
Tell Holder's Boulder you want it to sit on your face.

>>30270385
this

guys I don't think the writefag is coming back

>>30286526
We have to believe

>>30288278
Bebeive!

>>30276019
>foursome
With Limestone, Pinkie, and Holder's Boulder?

>>30282728
That sounds like it would hurt.

>>30286526
>this is still up
alright fuck it, i'm back

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>>30291274
Hooray!

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>>30291274
>Not continuing
Ur no real writefag, needs more proof in form of greentext

>>30291274
This won't end until you finish what you started.

>>30292596

>>30292596

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>>30293301
these were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girl

>>30297120
It all makes sense now...

>>30297120
But if she's perfect why did she turn into Nu-Glim?

>>30299586

CHEMICAL WHY.

What if their mom gets involved

>>30300376
what if their dad gets involved

>>30301256
What if Gummy

>>30301903
Boulder

>>30291274
Nice

>>30291274
So are you back, or what?

>>30285669
No hooves reee

>>30296260

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I've forgotten what I'm bumping for.

>>30308203
I like her brows

Still holding out hope.