Look, I know it's your right and all to take an unwed mare

>>30241758
Who told you I was looking to get hitch with your sister?
I love you, Applejack!

But Apple Bloom will grow into being ready while you'll still be the mare whose crust is only beaten by Rainbow Dash.

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>>30241758
My goodness my dear girl. You're right, she will need some instruction won't she.
Well then theres only one thing to do.
Guards seize her!
You'll make a fine concubine Applejack.
And your sister an even better tendie maker.
Who says you cannot have your cake and eat it too?

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>>30241758

Relax, Applejack.

Derpy delivered the letter to the wrong Apple.

How's "Baroness Applejack Anon-Apple" roll off your tongue? I always wanted a triple-A mare for a bride.

>>30241850
Back to princess AJ with you, faggot

>>30241850
>hyphenated name
Celestia is really letting the peerage down letting scum like you have a baronage
t. Lord Anon Duke of Phillydelphia and surrounding territories

>>30241865

>you wouldn't make Applejack a respectable waifu and become part of one of the Great Families of Equestria

>this belongs in "stick a horn and feathers on best earth pony" thread

Nope. Applejack can be a silly pony, and I fully intend to make her into a country baroness. Granny gets proper care for life, the farm gets some decent hired hooves so she stops working herself and Big Mac into the ground, and if magic is magic enough, there's going to be a new crop of two-or-four legged Apples the next time she's in heat.

I figure the only thing that would stop Applejack from working herself to death on the farm is marriage and motherhood, so hitching and humping is on the docket.

>>30241850
Dearest Sir Anon of the Dukedom of ponyville,

I hope this letter finds you well.
I also hope that you die of cancer. You're choice in brides goes against what the council has voted on.
Celestia is aware of your degeneracy and watches you with contempt.
And as of now, my house declares a blood fued against the barony of ponyville.
You have shit taste in waifus, this is why the council voted on this you ass hat.
Get AIDS nigger faggot!

Yours always,
Sir Anonymous of the Manehatten Dukedom
P.S.
Are we still on for golf this wensday?

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>>30241940

>you don't hyphenate with a such a renowned bride to increase your own prestige even further

Definitely Duke Jumped-Up-Commoner Anon.

Some of us can actually understand the benefit of giving our children the name of a Founding Family of Ponyville and one of the most prestigious earth pony clans in Equestria, rather than demeaning our wife by requiring her to give up her proud heritage for a golden ring.

OK, so she pointed out that by law, it was either that or I became Baron Apple because the mare's the one whose family name gets passed down in Princess Country here.

>>30242085
>earth pony
Stopped reading there, commoner filth.

My precious blood only mingles with unicorns.

>>30242020

Dear Duck Anonymous There's A Pie Coming Your Way,

It's a Barony, I'm quite proud of it, size doesn't matter, and I meant the "duck" part because I just sent Pinkie on a cake delivery.

She fired herself with a catapult. I figure this dragonfire-delivered letter gets to you about two minutes before impact.

I suppose this will mean cupcakes at high noon, unless you prefer fritters at dusk.

Yours in eternal Anonemnity,

Baron Anonymous of Ponyville

PS If it helps, it's peanut butter frosted and Pinkie said she'd clean up afterwards. Mind the tongue.

>>30242085
>renowned pony
Only as one of a set, was your dower purse too light for the other five? Also
>prestigious earth pony clans
I thank you most sincerely for this jappery.

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>>30242097

>Canterlot Crusty

That's what high altitude and careful inbreeding gets you, everyone.

>>30242142

Some of us actually prefer to know our mares before hitching another one to the wagon, but I suppose when you're Dicks- I mean Dukes from Bred-A-Lot, oh, I'm sorry CANTERLOT, having to deal with being mounted more often than a trophy room by a pack of bored mares is the unicorn way.

Did I mention the Apple Clan's net worth is a good four percent of Equestria's tax base and they hold more noble titles than any two hornheaded hopped-up families combined?

They just don't use them. It's apparently an Earth pony thing. I was pleasantly surprised to find she was of noble birth when I had a look at the family records.

You -do- know land grants come with an inherited title of Lordship until and unless they fail to maintain the grant, correct? She's not just a wife, she's a high-born vassal.

Of course, she's not at the top of the Apple tree. That'd be the Duchess of Applewood, City of the Stars. You know. Earth Pony trash that makes enough bits off the movie industry to buy half of Manehattan like it was a fire sale? Another Apple. My family-to-be,

Do you even take an airship between anywhere but Canterlot and Manehattan, or is it just too tough to pilot the airship with your noses so far up you can nuzzle yourself in the plot-cheeks?

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>land
>titles
>wealth
I must be truthful, these are all fine aspirations, but amount to little more than general puffery. A proud, historic lineage can only be maintained by a fierce determination in the present. To that end, the obvious choice in a spouse for any but the newest of genteelfags, would be a rambunctious pegasus officer.

>>30241802
kek

>>30241758
What hell is wrong with you? I just wanna have sex with her, not breed her you nut.

Now help me tuck my sack between my legs, I can't see them to tape them

>>30241758
Honey, I was talking about Fluttershy, not Applebloom.