How do I become a member of the Royal Guard? What grueling training

>>30228329
You have to be cock vored by Luna. If you survive, you're hired.

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>>30228331
But what if I want to get cockvored by Celly?

You have to run a gauntlet of dicks

>>30228407
Which involves?...

>>30228329
Well first you must go to the Canterlot Standing Up school, then the Face Blanking Academy in Fillydelphia. Then you must take a post at the Las Pegasus cuckshed for roughly three years, and if you can succeed there, you can get cucked anywhere.

>>30228337
Then join the night guard.

>>30229377
It's a gauntlet, of dicks.
You run through and try not to have them slap your face or get cummed on.

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>>30228331
>>30228337
>>30228407
>>30229377
>>30230694

>>30228329
They're basically glorified security guards, probably like 30 hours of training before they get put on patrolling the indoor parking lots for three months before they actually get to patrol the castle

>>30228329
>What grueling training go I have to go through?

You have to make Celestia cum in 2 minutes or less.

>>30230694
How many applicants fail on purpose?

>>30228329
Every day for five weeks:
-You have to eat all of your vegetables
-No dessert after dinner
-Naptime is only 20 minutes
-A half hour of music and THAT'S IT
-And finally, you have to kiss all your own booboos

Welcome to hell, greenhorn.

>>30230850
You don't fail, some just get more cum on them than others.
You can only fail is you wuss out halfway through and don't finish it.

>>30230927
>Second before last
Nah senpai, that's hell on earth difficulty right there.
Everything else is possible but that one's asking too much.

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>>30230927
>>Naptime is only 20 minutes
>>A half hour of music and THAT'S IT
>tfw you always choose your 30 minutes of music at the start of naptime, playing you "really fucking loud" playlist on a boombox as everyone else tries to sleep
Welcome to the suck faggots.

>>30228329
You have to let Shining Armor suck your dick. If you can last at least one hour without making any sounds or expressions, you're in. You can cum all you want though. The captain doesn't mind.

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>>30230947

>>30228329
You gotta be white.

Or sometimes black. Always male, though. Blue hair is preferred, but can be covered.

>>30230947
We Pony Prison - Royal Guard Edition now?

>>30228329
Talk to the recruiting station and stop bothering us.

>>30229402
This has got to be one of the most elaborate Cuckshed post I've ever seen.

>>30230927
12 posts
Only 12 fucking posts before cuteshit.

>>30228329
>wanting to be expendable cannon fodder

>>30234253
They give their all in the line of Celestia's Fukboi duty.

>>30234228
Naw. There's been actual green text rolling over 2-3 posts before they get to the cuckshed punchline.

>>30230947
Congratulations anon. You took shitty cutequestria shit and made in entairtainting