Welcome back to Hooves Lines Is It Anyway, where everything is

>>30145451
"The peetzer is in the oven!"

I need an abortion

>>30145451
"Hey Shinning, remember when you liked to role-play as daddy?"

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>>30145460
>>30145490
>>30145528
Not bad. 50 points each. Next up, we have:

"Reasons why Luna wasn't able to defend Canterlot from the first Changling attack"

>>30145605
"Anon locked her in the cuckshed."

>>30145605
"She was locked in Shining's thresome dream"

>>30145605
"She went undercover to make sure no ponies were killed."

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>>30145615
>>30145667
>>30145672
Those are all valid reasons for my bitch of a sister to show up late. 20 Points each.

Next:

"Things that Angel Bunny would say to Fluttershy if he could talk"

>>30145735
"Work on your succ game, slut."

>>30145735
"bitch, you know I wanted carrots for dinner"

>>30145735

Bring me my carrot tendies you bitch, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>30145735
"Stop being such a pussy and get me some cider"

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>>30145745
>>30145748
50 Points each

>>30145751
100 points for the tendies and autistic screeching

>>30145757
>>30145771
Oooooh, you double posted. That'll cost you 30 points

Now we have:

"Unexpected things you might find on Twilight's check-list"

>>30145802
>rape

>>30145802
"Find some dragon compatible lube"

>>30145802
Murder Spike
Have Shining's Foal
Overthrow Princess Celestia

Oh wait, you said UNEXPECTED.

>>30145802
"remember to feed Spike's parents in the dungeons"

>>30145802
"Finish the job with the Apple family"

>>30145802
Overthrow Princess Luna
Kill Zecora
Find dead nigger storage
Get that last one right this time

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>>30145821
Classic. 50 Points

>>30145833
>>30145856
Dragon dildos. 70 points

>>30145888
Dead Nigger Storage/10 xD. 200 points

Next:

"Things you can say about your favorite article of clothing, but not about your favorite pony"

>>30145926
I haven't brutally raped my leather jacket

>>30145926
"This one is too tight, I don't like it."

>>30145926
I don't keep them in my basement tied up

>>30145926
"There is a hole between the legs, what a shame !"

>>30145926
It's time to sell these used ones

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>>30145955
>>30145957
>>30145988
>>30146027
>>30146052
These were all too good to be judged apart. 150 points each

Now this one reads:

"Unusual book titles that survived the tree library explosion"

>>30146070
>How to survive a tree Library Explosion part 1

>>30146070
>rape For Dummies

>>30146070
"250 ways to cook an owl"

>>30146070
>"Butts and nothing butt."

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>>30146070
"Mane kampf"

>>30146070
"that one book spike didn't organize"

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>>30146106
>>30146143
We appreciate /mlpol/ for joining us. 50 Points

>>30146107
I'm pretty sure ponies are herbivores. But still, 20 points for the laughs

>>30146186
God dammit spike. 30 points

This one says:

"Talents that the CMC didn't get to try before getting their cutie marks"

>>30146233
"Sucking colts' dicks."

>>30146233
"Flooding the market with debased currency"

>>30146233
SUCKING MY BENIS XDDDD

>>30146233
Not sucking as characters

>>30146233
>dice rolling

>>30146233
Chopping their balls off and dying

>>30146233
To wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of
The Decepticolts

>>30146233
Making Equestria Great Again

>>30146233
Leading a Thousand Year Reich

>>30146233
Cutie mark removal.

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>>30146268
>>30146375
>>30146426
You three suck. Loose 40 points

>>30146465
Very clever. Clopitmus Prime would be proud. 100 points

>>30146486
>>30146497
They should get on my level. I made Equestria great for a thousand years and got rid of my black sister

>>30146672
50 points, Starlight Glimmer is smiling upon you

This next one gets a little mature for all the colts and fillies in the room:

"Phrases that Spike moans in his sleep during lucid wet dreams"

>>30146857
>"Don't worry about staining the sheets. Twilight won't notice."

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>>30146857
Oh Torch what big muscles you have.

>>30146857
>"You're so good at fucking Rarity, Jamal!"

>>30146857
>"Behold! A pale horse!"

>>30146857
>"Finally...the last book in place"

>>30146857
>"A-applebloom, Sweetie! Y-you said you wouldn't tell!"
>"Ohgodohgodohgod, w-where's the bleach..."

>>30146857
>"Don't worry. It's not gay of we don't get caught."

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>>30146886
>>30146966
Sounds pretty accurate for Spike to be both a magical mailbox and a bottom. 120 points!

>>30146954
50 points, he probably picked up Twilight's book fetish

>>30146966
100 points, there's no wrong way to fantasize

Just a few left:

"Odd parties for Pinkie Pie to throw at the last minute"

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>>30146994
Farewell parties for fillies with cancer.

>>30146994
You fucked up a perfect chance to lose your virginity party

Celestia's a pretty good show host.

>>30146994
A family reunion for Scootaloo

>>30146994
"Congratulations on your 100 day masturbation streak using Twilight's bedsheets!"

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>>30147005
Watching my show would probably give anypony cancer. 200 points for realism

>>30147007
No joke this happened to Twilight's friend Rarity. What a stupid horse cunt

>>30147017
My flank is in the moon's orbit. 300 points

>>30147018
Somepony has a few hundred days to catch up. 100 points

>>30147015
10 points for the nice compliment

Oh I think I know who wrote this one:

"Seductive phrases that Discord would use to pick up hot mares"

>>30147064
>No joke this happened to Twilight's friend Rarity. What a stupid horse cunt
>rarity scares stallions off
ma nigga I thought I was the only one who saw it this way.

>>30147064
Hey baby, ever do it in a suitcase?

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>>30147064
They say the most chaotic place is a mare's heart. In your case, it will be the second.

>>30147064
"I cum literal buckets."

>>30147064
I used to host Hooves Lines Is It Anyway

>>30147064

Levitate

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>>30147085
I in fact have. It wasn't the most terrible experience. 60 points

>>30147101
Very naughty, I might have to get our my royal towels. 50 points

>>30147102
And yet ponies still wonder why my coat is white. 100 points for the pleasant memories

>>30147127
Nice try Discord, but I'm afraid it'll take more than sexting to get me to open my chamber doors

>>30147141
Quite literate, but I technically have to accept that. 200 points

Oh. How about this one?

"Bad names you would give to the newborn ponies of the mane 6"

>>30147164

Sweetie Belle

>>30147164
fucktoys 1,2,3,4,5 and 6

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>>30147164
Tho Rainbow Dash wanted her son Dine have her same second name out of goodwill she later realized why they werent allowed to eat in any restaurants.
A similar situation happened with Pinkie's dauighter Cream, lawyers even had to get involved.

>>30147064
>"You and me baby, ain't nothing but mammals... well, mostly mammal anyway."

>>30147164
Accomplishment.
Loved one
Glue

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>>30147219
Burn. 20 points

>>30147225
Very fitting and most appropriate, except Twilight and her friends already have those nicknames. 30 points for trying though

>>30147254
Yummy. 20 points

>>30147295
That last one really stuck. 50 points

We are nearing the end until commercial break:

"Things that Applejack might daydream about while she bucks apple trees alone."

>>30147339
>"Egads, if my calculations are correct, I should be in for a record crop yiel- shit, it's Twilight.."
>*ahem*"HOWDY, YALL!"

>>30147339

Bucking apples alone while daydreaming

>>30147339
Ah've seen thousands of apples falling and ah yet to see a gravity

>>30147339
Applebloo- I mean Big Mac's red ass

>>30147339
A dragon coming along and burning her farm to the ground so she has an excuse to retire on princess Twilights dime.

>>30147339
Getting bucked by her brother in front of grannie smith while gorging on a dirty diaper

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>>30147343
>>30147373
>Implying AJ could do math or physics
10 points you tried

>>30147378
>>30147395
>Implying she doesn't already buck with both of her siblings
15 points, more realistic

>>30147382
>implying that I don't wish the same thing on my own castle just as an excuse to not raise the bucking sun for a day

Stay tuned fillies and gentlecolts. We will be right back after a message from our sponsors!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RAQsdTQIcs

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>>30147435
YOU BITCH! I HAD A JOKE PLANNED! WHY DO YOU DO THIS?!

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Welcome back everypony! We have enough time for a few more Scenes From A Hat that I think are worth sharing. Let's get started:

"Things Royal Guards talk about during duty hours"

>>30147540
"those maids are hot"

>>30147540
I wish I was guarding the castle instead of writing scripts for the Princess show.

>>30147540
Who is getting rotated out to equestrian border duty next and what they intend to do there.

>>30145451
>It's not Drew Carey

Don't fix what's not broke.

>>30147540
"Can I have lifeguard duty next?"

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>>30147552
Most specifically why I had them dressed in such attire. 100 points for accuracy

>>30147568
I don't pay them to make wishes. 40 points

Next:

"Alternative ways to become an Alicorn Princess"

>>30147653
Rape the others in front of the kingdom to establish dominance.

>>30147653
Behead and alicorn to begin the Quickening.

>>30147653
Wait until Flurry Heart is of age, court and marry her. Then when her parents eventually die prey on that sadness and convince her to make you an Alicorn so she won't have to lose you too.

>>30147653
Illusion spell and lots of endurance.

>>30147653
Be raped by the others as a sick initiation and become a princess as a price for your silence.

>>30147653
>Unbirth yourself by crawling into her pusspuss
>wait until Shining comes along so he can fertilize the seed you have become
>wait
>voila
Easy

>>30147653
Host a TV show and make the previous ruler(s) of the land laugh

>>30147653
Drinking the blood of a virgin Alicorn.

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>>30147666
>>30147725
50 points to rapendor!

>>30147695
Probably better to get ahead than to behead. 40 points

>>30147947
I would very much like to see you try. 30 points

>>30147948
Then you better hop aboard the Flurry Heart Express soon before she pulls out! 50 points

This next one:

"What your favorite pony's flank would smell like"

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>>30148199
Glimmy's flank smells like anxiety sweat thinly vailed by peppermint

>>30148199
nothing

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>>30148199
Peanut butter and shame.

>>30148199
Low self esteem and daddy issues.

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>>30148199
Cinnamon and sweat.

>>30148199
A sweet kindness scented hatred for all living things, with hint of strawberry banana

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>>30148224
>>30148355
>>30148356
>>30148440
All such wonderful flavors. 200 points for good description

You have all been such wonderful participants. Your princess is getting sleepy and must retire soon, so lets pull one more suggestion from our hat and make it count:

"Things you can say about your food, but not about your favorite princess"

>>30148486
"Well I'll tell ya', Dale, that Bashashi place is real swell."

(Basashi is a horse meat dish)

>>30148486

I know what it tastes like.

>>30148486
Wait a minute, this doesn't melt in my mouth.

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>>30148486
I love to taste the sun in my mouth.

Oh wait you said not about your favorite princess

>>30148556
rekt

>>30148486
I can't believe I fit the whole thing in my mouth.

>>30148486
I can't believe I ate the whole thing.

>>30148486
"It really does get juicy after a few licks, doesn't it?"

>>30148486
"Thanks princess, but this may be a big too much for me."

>>30148486
"This taste of vanilla makes me sick"

>>30148486
Do I lose fake points if I say you are not my favorite.

>>30148486
It's tiny

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>>30148486
"Those cookies man, they'll get you trippin' to the moon and back."
Oh wait

>>30148486
"It's still fresh"

>>30148486
It's not 1000 years stale.

>>30149223
So i am guessing you are not a moonfag.

>>30148486
Hey, I said sunny side UP

>>30148486
Looks a bit old doesn't it?