>read long fanfic >finally get to clop chapter >pone

>>30129652
>read long fanfic
>finally get to clop chapter
>it's shit

>read long fanfic
>finally get tot he clop chapter
>mare is a futa
>she's going to fuck a stallion
>she cock vores him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmbilNGMKjo

I can't find a gif so have a youtube link fuck you

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>not liking crotchtits

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>hate reading
>don't read long fanfic

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>finally get to the clop chapter
>realise they are anthro
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>30129754

>>30129754
the only anthro I like is nakedsharks

>>30129652
>read long fanfic
>no clop

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>>30129652

>wanna shitpost
>want attention
>make post purposefully abrasive against commonly held kink
>only way I know others will give me attention
>works
>rinse
>repeat ad nauseam

>>30129742
This. Crotchtits are patrician taste desu.

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>>30129652
>browse /mlp/
>finally get to a seemingly good thread
>op is a faggot

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>>30129789
>edging waiting for it to get good
>no clop

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>>30130076
>write a really long story where people keep hoping for clop
>no clop

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>>30129652
>not just skipping the filler and going straight to the clop part

>>30129652
>read long fanfic
>finally get to clop chapter
>writefag has no idea how anatomy works

>>30129652
Are we talking about FoE?

>>30130225
you open her clitoris and lick her vagina. she orgasms everywhere.

>>30129784
hey thanks dude

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>>30129652
>read long fanfic
>finally get to clop chapter
>the ponies are explicitly defined as non-anthro throughout the story
>"She put her hand on..."

>>30129652
>triggered by correct anatomy
>implying you're not b8ing us

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What are some long-ass clopfics?

I need my emotional romantic smut, but can't seem to find much of anything.

>reading clopfics to get off
>instead of looking at pictures

>>30130949
the girl with the lyre tattoo is good, don't remember if it got an ending though.

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>>30130165
>Not just opening Word, typing "BREASTS" in font size 20, and jacking off to that.

Ever considered to not clop?

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>>30131039
why?

>>30131039
ever considered to not breathe? you are of making the claim of stupid.

>>30131039

never

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30131039

>>30131078
That's interesting.
I just saw a shill on /pol/ in the Trump General do this exact same thing. Quote the post number without actually linking the post.

Really makes me think.

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>>30131057
>>30131060
what if I told you god is watchin

>hate reading someone name John or Michel
>don't read OCs

>>30129652
>reading clopshit
eh

>>30131095
wasn't me.

>masturbating
>not fucking a real mare

>>30131121
alright. what do you clop to then wise guy?

>>30131104
id say voyeurism isnt really my fetish, but im willing to give it a try.

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>>30131104
If God didn't want me to clop he wouldn't have made ponies so sexy.

>>30130856
don't be gay

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>>30131022
this desu

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>Read long fanfic
>get to last chapter.
>incomplete
>last upload was 2 years ago.

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>read clopfic
>get to clop
>"estrus"

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>>30129652
>waiting for read the next chapter a fanfic about x character
>it never updates again

>>30129652
horses are mammals what did you expect?

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>get to clop scene
>it's not gay

>Read fic and it's great.
>No update for a year.
>Updates.
>It's a rewrite.
>It's shit.
>No updates since.
>Author's still active.
>Not like the last two matter.

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>>30129652
>Start reading fanficfic
>50 words in realize ponies are anthro

> Not posting names of fanfics
Share some love, Anons.

I'm reading "Because I choose to" in the Glim thread. Good clop scenes, in my opinion.

What you are reading/have read?

>>30132457
I finished up Changing Lanes a while back. There's no clop and it's only 42 chapters excluding the side stories, but it's still fantastic nonetheless. https://pastebin.com/u/autopony

>>30129652
>Not liking crotchtits

end yourself.

>>30132457
I don't read, nerd, I just listen to the sounds of authors typing and discern the words by the quality and duration of each keystroke

>>30129652

Gee, it sure sucks to be you, OP.
You seem to be triggered by everything.

>>30132501
What's it about?

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>>30129652

>>30132713
Anon and Luna bodyswap, well, finding the cure for it anyway. I don't want to give too much away for fear of spoiling it, but trust me when I say it's pretty damn good.

>>30131266
>>30132436
Everytime.
>unfinished stories list is longer than your favorites

>>30130906
Where did this happen. More importantly did it suddenly become anthro or was it just the use of the word hands.

>>30131137
Same.

anyone else think she looks more anime like this?

>not liking crotchtits

How would you feel then if you were in Equestria? It is anatomically correct

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>>30129652
>reading
>ever
Real men don't read.

>>30133542
> Plebeians don't read.
FTFW, you uncultured and uneducated swine.

I'm surprised how crotch tits are still not accepted widely despite how much mare pussy is.

>>30133610
It's because so much of the "crotchtits" category is huge, super-exaggerated shit. Teats are pure unf, but when it looks like the pony has human D-cups literally strapped onto her underside it's just nasty.

>>30133629
Like milkmare? What is an acceptable mare tits to you?

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>>30129652
>read 2M+ words fanfic
>finally get to the part where they fug
>fading transition to post-intercourse

>>30133641
like real crotchtits?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7hMr6T1L_I

>>30131266
>Author note at end of last chapter: next chapter will be clop

>>30131149
S-sauce

>>30129652
So there are folks who jerk-off to quadrapedal chest-tits horses? That's fucked up and fascinating at the same time...

>>30130856
more marecocks please

>>30131149
Damn. I haven't seen this picture in years.

>>30133894
this

I used to read a lot of fics, and I would love to start again, but I just don't know where to find any new ones.

>>30133629

All crotchtits are welcome, man. Variety is great.

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>Assumes getting close to clop scene
>Author begins using words like "sultry" and "vivacious," ready myself for the pone on pone action.
>Chapter ends
>Bookmark the story
>Check every day
>After a few weeks, the author announces he's leaving the fandom, and cancels the story.

>>30133894
>>30134328
https://derpibooru.org/21256
Though it says edit.

>>30129784
You have the personal taste of a thinking man, my sir.

>>30129754
This

>>30131022
I unironically drew boobs in MSPaint and jerked off to it multiple times when I was a kid.
I wish I was kidding.

>>30129652
>start reading fanfic
>realise you can't read

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>>30129652

>new porn in great style
>its futa

>start reading fanfic
>you dont know how to english

>>30134330
Try the Fimfiction Thread general. Searching "fimfict" in Desuarchive will also give you links to some good stories rec'd by the anons in there.

>>30134624
EVERYTIME

FUCKING OBAMA

>>30133762
That's like the Dolly Parton of horses, though.

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>"Gosh Anon, you sure are good at rutting! I can't wait to let my friends know so you can rut them too!"

>>30133762
That is a VERY tame horse.

I sure as hell wouldn't walk up to a mare and start putting my hands on her that way, no matter how docile she was with a saddle on her back. That's a good way to get a horseshoe permanently imprinted on what's left of your face and a closed casket funeral.

>>30135109
Probably tied her up so she couldn't kick or some shit like that. Why would you want to milk a real horse anyway? There's a reason why we're only legally allowed to drink heavily-processed cow's milk. Straight from the tap will turn healthy to crap.

>>30135113
actually no. If you watch the video, the mare is just standing there, eating grass, and doesn't give a fuck that two humans have gotten into the pasture with her and are just standing there playing with her titties while a third one films.

I am accustomed to thinking of real-world horses--and ponies too, though supposedly most pony breeds have been bred for centuries to be more docile and obedient and predictable--as skittish, high-strung creatures likely to rear back and start doing a steel horseshoes dance on your face if you tried to approach them and start touching them when they weren't in a mood for it. Or startled them. Or if they saw a squirrel in a tree fifty feet away. Or if a plastic grocery bag blows past in the wind. Or...

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>>30129652
>reading clop chapter
>decent buildup
>bullshit one-line "and then he came" climax scene

Safety bump!

>>30131134
the episodes themselves. what are you some kinda fucking casual get the fuck outta here

>>30130949
Xenophilia if you're willing to put up with an autistically named human character.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/27874/xenophilia

It's old, and you might have read it already, but that's the best I've got.

>people not liking anthro in fanfics
Like I get not liking anthro in visual pornography, but it's literally just writing. I couldn't get turned off by that if I tried.

>>30135094
Yeah they do seem a little above average, may just be how tired I am playing tricks on my perception though.

>>30133860
It hurts

>>30138812
wrong thread buddy >IT HURTS is over here:
>>30074020

>>30133542
What did you have to do to respond to this post?

>>30138451
>implying Lero Jenkins there isn't about to add Scootaloo to his herd, causing all the adult mares to quit in disgust
>implying he won't then say "Well at least I have Chickun"

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>start reading really good fanfic
>its super long, takes several hours over the span of a few days to read
>getting invested in the story and the characters struggles and joys
>go to sleep thinking about what I just read, waking up to immediately read more
>getting near the end, some loose ends are tied neatly, but the big showdown and some minor stuff still lies in wait
>pastebin ends in middle of big showdown
>no new part on authors page
>last updated january 2015

If Hell is a real place, it is full of extremely good but incomplete stories

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>>30139291

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>reading a good fanfiction
>they make the masculine character a complete fool, a total idiot.
i should stop reading king sombra fanfics.

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>>30129652

>>30129652
I need to get off porn. It's doing bad things for me.

>>30139291
I know the exact feeling. I hate this.

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>>30139291
>author abandoned the story and started writing other things

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>Writefag stops writing because his green wasn't popular
>His pastes barely had any views
It didn't have to be this way, I loved the story damnit.

>read long fanfic
>author updates story every week or so for a year and a half
>updates slow to once every two weeks and next update after that is 5 weeks later
>author says they're burned out and is taking a little break from that story
>author writes 5+ other stories, all 100K or more words.
>3 years later author still hasn't returned to finish their first story.

How do you motivate a writefag?

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>>30140560
w-which writefag is that?

>Read 500,000+ word fanfic
>Has a satisfying conclusion

>>30129652
>read clopfic
>characters are ooc

>>30141133
>read story
>pay attention to whats going on
>speculate about the plot with your fellow anons
>any other feedback

>>30135026
>not liking marecock
you're missing out, my man
please stop breathing

>>30141364
>>>/hhh/

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>>30141133
pls gib (You)s

>t. Writefag

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>>30129754
This.
I read MLP based stuff for PONIES, not hairy unshaven women with a different paint job.

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>>30129652
>read long ass fanfic
>starting clop parts are good
>in later clops the stallion is the one getting fucked

>>30141388
The dubs have spoken!

>>30129652
I don't care for actual crotchtits, but I do like soft skin and sensitive nipples on the lower abdomen. Great for caressing.

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>>30131039
>Ever considered to not clop?
What kind of faggot are you?

>Find a promising romance/clop story Well, it was promising to a horny 15 year-old
>Before things get real the writer dies for years
>Check back every few months
>Check one last time, unbelievably the story is active again.
>The story takes an unnecessarily dramatic and complicated turn, completely jumping the shark for me.
>The writer's proofreader isn't around anymore so it's painful to read as well.

I got blueballed for years. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/140930/pounding-the-purple-plot

>>30138451
>Xenophilia if you're willing to put up with an autistica̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶n̶a̶m̶e̶d̶ human character.

FTFY

>>30131039
Yes. Still haven't.

>>30141264
>speculate about the plot with your fellow anons

This, mostly, can confirm that plot speculation gives the writefag an erection.

>>30142550
He does become much more of a blank slate later on, at least. Just swap out all mentions of his name with Anon and you've got a decent story.

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>start reading clopfic to see what the fuss is all about
>get hooked by the story
>skip all clop segments because they're boring and gross and only read the safe, overarching plot

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>>30129652
>Read clopfic
>No kissing scenes

>>30129950

Nope, they ruin the perfectly smooth body.

>>30129652
>read medium long greentext
>finally get to the clop part
>it's fucking amazing
>get rock hard and cum quickly

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>>30142907

>Basically me, with the aforementioned fic, "Because I Choose To"

Because of this thread, I went over and gave that fic a look. The story is interestingly built, there's compelling world setup, mystery and romance- but I think my own hangup with, well, "accurate" clop is that while I may find the personalities of the characters attractive and the character designs cute, I'm not actually *attracted* to the physical form of horses, so I skip those sequences altogether.

>>30142394
That must have hurt.

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>>30143388
>I'm not actually *attracted* to the physical form of horses

>>30143388
>doubledubs

I would otherwise have kept my mouth shut but I have to say it.

What if you're so in love with the character(s) that you want them regardless of species? So long as they are, of course, intelligent, capable of speech and reason, retain the personality you fell in love with, and so on?

I love whom I love. Mai waifu is my waifu, with hooves or without.

>>30132457
>>30143388
Thanks for reading, and thank you for your kind words. I am humbled by your comments, and I will strive to meet your expectations in future updates.
> I have a few clop scenes planned, so... sorry, >>30143388! I hope the rest of the story makes up for it.

>>30143918
>>30144006
Well, it's all a matter of preferences. Personally, I prefer what >>30143388 calls "accurate" clop, but hey, we all have differing tastes, right? To each his/her own, I guess.
> I always use "anatomically correct" as a tag on derpibooru.
> Small poner udders/teats are hot; crotchboobs... not so much. Looks weird to me.

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>>30143388
>I'm not actually *attracted* to the physical form of horses

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>Writefag becomes famous from one amazing green that he continued to write
>Disappears for a couple of years
>Comes back and revives the general that his green was in
>Writefag fucking dies
Marital Problems...had a hard life.

>>30145058
>Writefag becomes famous from one amazing green that he started writing
>Disappears forever
SKITTLES COME BACK

>>30130856
What >>30134245 said with the occasional insertion of an entire pony

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>>30129652
>Wake up

>>30135113
>we're only legally allowed to drink heavily processed cow's milk
What the fuck? Are you retarded, or is the country you're in retarded?
I grew up on straight from the tap, as in still warm cow's milk. It's something completely else, you don't know what you're missing. But most importantly, there's nothing wrong with that as long as you're not lactose intolerant, of course.

>>30145359
Sadly I'm American. Yeah, the government has laws and shit about selling milk. Raw milk isn't allowed to be sold in stores and any non-cow milk is not only hard to find but also subject to some sort of meme tax to discourage people from buying it. My question is - why does the government care about our health and safety? Aren't they only in power to benefit themselves?

>>30145375
Apologies to everyone. This isn't especially pony-related.

I think part of it comes from a particular era in history, between the turn of the last century and World War I, when people like Theodore Roosevelt were experimenting with using government to do more than just preventing invasions and building roads. It was a time when science was learning a lot about nutrition--vitamins had just been discovered, and so forth--and it was discovered that some of the newly-discovered processing techniques, like bleaching flour to make it white, were destroying vitamins, and people who ate a lot of processed foods were in danger of getting vitamin deficiency diseases like beriberi.

Also, Theodore Roosevelt was pissed at those particular businesses anyway because just before, during the Spanish-American War, more American soldiers died of food poisoning from shitty canned food (this was before government enforced standards, remember) than in combat. So one of the things he did when he was President was to work with Congress to create new departments that could oversee this and levy fines and even jail time for negligence against manufacturers whose products were likely to poison you. They started with the strictest food safety laws in the US, Pennsylvania's (you may have noticed that some canned food even today still says in tiny letters on the label, "Registered with the Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture", because back then it was a selling point) as a starting point. This is why salt sold in the US has to have iodine added to it, so people won't get goiters and babies won't be born as cretins. This is why white flour and bleached white rice have vitamins added to them. This is why skim milk has vitamins added to it. This is also why pharmaceutical companies have to do supervised scientific testing of new drugs instead of having them sold straight out the back door, or by a guy on a wagon who says they cure cancer, baldness, and bad breath.

>>30138451
Good at first but pretty autistic with all the cuckshit imo

Aeh

>>30129652
theres literally nothing wrong with crotchtits

>>30146185
Just finished it. It was even more dissatisfying than the first half.

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>>30129652
>See a new clop story on Fimfic
>Has my favorite characters
>Description sounds like a hot scenario
>Start reading with enthusiasm
>It's been adapted from a fucking greentext.

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>Go through old favorites list.
>Look at all the dedfics with depression
>Weird there's an update.
>Favorite MIA writefag back in action after years.
>Notably better at writing.

>>30140438
This one you might be able to solve. Go to whatever thread he was in an then start bitching about it and demanding more stuff by name. At the very least, you should get a response, an it's worth a shot!