Writefags' Guild

>>29965966
Tips and links:

Writefags' Guild Discord Chat: https://discord.gg/XNM2tVS

Things you should know about before writing clop:
Vhatug’s tips for anatomically correct clop and squash soup:
http://pastebin.com/g4VpEg4f

http://www.literotica.com/s/erotic-synonyms (Because using dick, balls, and pussy just isn’t enough to get the reader off. Remember, the reader cums first.)
Had to. Puns are awesome.

Things you should know about writing:
Clever’s Tips on How to Write Short Stories: http://pastebin.com/GGBkxi7e
How to into writing: http://pastebin.com/V1ujiyJt
Writing rules from Navarone: http://pastebin.com/bnMmZ2T3
Ezn’s Guite to writing Fanfiction: http://eznguide.neocities.org/
Writing Book for beginners: https://mega.co.nz/#F!pwo21SKA!dljqCUmOhkwLX3x9_ApEgQ
Help for creating OC characters: http://www.dawnsomewhere.com/ocguide/

A few authors from different threads should you seek inspiration from their stories:
Flutterrape general’s writers: http://pastebin.com/eG8iY7Wy
Active AiE general writers: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX
PiE general’s writers: http://pastebin.com/Mgd0QuNy

>“How do I cure my writer’s block?”
Magic.
>“FUCK YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION!”
There’s no one way to cure it, but, if you can’t write, you may as well read stories. There’s more to writing than writing; there’s reading too, and that helps. Check some of the links above.
Try the following (keep in mind this won’t work for everyone):
-Figure out when it’s the best time for you to write.
-Fap then write*.
-Write anyway, and allow yourself to write shitty stories. More often than not, the block is the fear of it being bad. That’s what editing is for.
-Seriously, drink coffee. It’s a writer’s best friend.
-Listen to music while writing.

*Unless you’re writing clop, then listen to your boner.

>>29965969
Here’s some more stuff that didn’t fit in the second post.

A couple writing podcasts:
http://www.writingexcuses.com/
http://typehammer.com/podcast/

An archive of how to write pretty much anything:
https://curiosityquills.com/limyaael/

An idea generator:
http://writers-den.pantomimepony.co.uk/writers-first-lines.php

A worldbuilding forum:
http://worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/


I figured I'd copy over this since there have been three or four people asking about it the last few threads. Though for the most part if people bother to come here they get the basic greentext correct.

>How does one into greentext?
Greentext is always second person, and almost always present tense. Every line except for the viewpoint character speaking is green. You don't have to restrict yourself to one sentence per line.

>Why does one into greentext?
To my knowledge, greentext stories were born from quest/CYOA threads. Since the audience was essentially roleplaying as the one making these choices, they were almost always written is second person (just like CYOA books).

Quotation arrows are one of the only forms of markup available on 4chan, so they were used liberally, which eventually settled into this pattern for stories.

If you want to write more typical prose, I've never seen anybody REEE'd at for it yet.


Since I'm at the top anyways, I'll repeat a warning that I've seen a lot of people saying Vhatug's tips for squash are inaccurate. Do some independent research if you give a shit.

Third time's the charm, right?

Since I'm here, Handsome Jew, I'm sitting on line 1650 of your story, which means I'm officially into the new content. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic right now, but we'll see. Things can change pretty rapidly here.

Well this finally lives.
Friend requested me to do a somnophilia story with emphasis on it being romantic not just rut a sleeping horse.
Thing is I dont usually do romance, only if I'm forced to by the flow of story.
So, I'd like to know how cliche my writing is.
Would really like an objective perspective, rather than a "It's great"
Going to post when I get home

>Only 2 people here
Where do I learn English very good?

Or any website will fix my error or grammar?

>>29966915
Suppose so. We'll see if they will come back or more people will stop by.

Fast board tonight

>>29965966
Why are links not allowed? My story's shortest chapter is about 3000 words and the longest is about 8000. That doesn't seem practical for a post.

>>29972246
Links are allowed. Direct green is just generally preferred. Obviously if it's longer, links are probably better, but posting it here gives it greater visibility.

>>29970760
why is that

>>29973957
How do we keep dying?

>>29972510
Depends if it's prose or greentext. Pastebin/Fimfiction is 10x better if linked.

episode day bump

Save

>>29977141
thanks

>>29967043
Not written in greentext. Still, I'd like a rate.
The blue, green eyed colt was looking at the sleeping mare for quite a while now. He managed to find a pretty efficient way to sneak into her room, and hopefully, it's not like she'd notice something.
Seemed like she was a sound sleeper anyways, the little colt would get closer to her, being careful to be quiet as he could be, even if she was soundly asleep, loud noises could wake her up.
She was indeed, very pretty with the way she looked while asleep, and he couldn't help but touch her, very softly.
The reaction from the mare was rather interesting, she twitched sure, but didn't wake up. The colt certainly wondered what the mare was dreaming about. But he wasn't gonna disturb her.
But she was so pretty, he wanted to touch her so badly, play with her small frame while she slept soundly.
He'd gently caress her mane, being very soft and gentle with the mare, he didn't have any unusual intentions, but.
Or did he. Perhaps he was just lying to himself, thinking everything was fine, when it truthfully wasn't. He desired her, in a primal way. Something that shouldn't of happened to a colt like him.
Unable to contain his desires to himself, the colt would kiss the mare deeply, holding her face as he would, he really liked her.
He..even liked her in another way, one that he wouldn't be admitting to himself, he'd let go of his kiss and trot up to the behind of the mare, very gently lifting her blue tail up, revealing her marehood.
Giving in to his lustful desires, the colt would bring his snoot closer, and give her a lick, just enough to taste her. He wouldn't go ahead and shove himself in her or anything, he certainly wanted to make this as enjoyable for her as he could.
The mare fidgeted a bit, but was seemingly still asleep. Well, since he didn't manage to wake her up by licking her private bits, it wouldn't hurt to go a step further, r-right?, it's not like she'd suddenly wake up anyways.

Or so did the colt think at least, fairly confident he wasn't wrong, he'd giver her another, this time a bit more of enthusiastic of a lick, though, still being gentle with her. After a short while, he'd pick up the pace, making sure he was doing only as much as she'd like.
Or what he could tell she liked, the mare was soundly asleep, but the blush on her face--and--what seemed to be the faint moans, were enough of a motivation for him to keep going. He was burning with lust, the colt wanted to take the next step.
He knew the mare wouldn't likely know what happened, she'd probably wake up, thinking she had a lewd dream, but, he still didn't want to make things sudden, or uncomfortable for her, he'd slowly work his tongue inside her depths, making sure to lick clean any drop of her juices.
He'd only take the one step forward when he was comfortable that she wasn't going to get hurt, or as far as he could tell from what little experience he had in his life. Or rather, barely any with mares, especially not cute ones like her!
The colt would pull away from her girl bits, only to move front of her face, and kiss her, deeply and sensually, unfortunately for him, the way he was with kissed made a lot of..mess. Of course, the colt didn't give it much thought at all, he just wanted to make her feel good.
His sleeping princess, even if she wasn't really his? He'd break the kiss softly, moving to her behind once again, her tail wasn't lowered, even though he did stop holding it up. Was she doing this on her own?, couldn't be, she was sleeping. Or perhaps she was just having those kind of dreams!
He'd take her tail into his soft hooves, raising himself up rather awkwardly toward her nethers, she was on bed after all, and he was a pretty small one. Maybe not that small for fillies, but for a mare, oh. That, of course, didn't stop him from playing out his desires, trying to, at least.

The colt would then, slowly, and very gently take his shaft into his hooves, lining it up with the wet mare's lips, before slowly easing himself inside. He probably wouldn't have too much issues, given his size and everything.
Of course, the fact he was small didn't stop him from feeling pleasure, from feeling good. He'd gently hold onto her flanks, and start thrusting, very very slowly so, taking a good few seconds each time He'd push in, and pull out of her, his body wanted him to take things to a different pace.
But, no, he wouldn't he could control himself, he tried at least, he'd go at the same, slow, sensual pace, until, he wouldn't be lasting too much longer, taking things slowly or not, the colt would find himself reaching his limits mere seconds later. He'd stop for a second, taking a moment to catch his breath.
He wasn't going to just finish like some sort of animal, he'd take a few deep breaths, and keep going, the mare's expression was that of pleasure, she..liked this? Unaware of whenever she was..really enjoying this or, it was just the reaction of her body, he'd keep up the slow pace.
Unfortunately for him, his body wasn't fit for going on long term, he did enough, certainly lasted for quite a while up until now, he'd grip his hooves on her flanks, and pick up his pace, seconds later bringing himself to a rather powerful orgasm, he'd keep quiet, not wishing to wake her up.
The colt's shaft would shoot several rather thick spurts of sperm deep inside of her. He had no idea if he was fertile or not, but he certainly was afraid of getting her pregnant. He wouldn't of want to do that! He'd keep himself lodged deeply into her for a few seconds, enjoying himself, and the warmth of her walls.

Perhaps he didn't get her to reach her orgasm, but he did something. It was satisfying enough for him. He'd slowly slide himself out after a few moments, his shaft still leaking cum as he would. He was hoping he wouldn't get the mare pregnant..but it was so good.He'd stroke her mane as he finished, before pulling away form the mare.
The colt would secretly leave her house, letting his cream pie drip from below her nethers and on to he floor below. The mare was in for quite a surprise when she'd wake up!

b

u

>>29979259
This is one of those pieces where the grammar is so off-kilter that it actually gets in the way of me trying to understand what's happening in the story. Before we can even tackle plot, we need to ensure you're able to clearly and concisely convey your thoughts to the reader.

With that in mind, may I have your permission to rewrite this piece and repair the grammar to the best of my abilities? You'll be able to see what changes I made, and I can explain my reasoning behind them.

File: twi5.jpg (183KB, 1280x904px) Image search: [Google]

183KB, 1280x904px

>mfw if someone ever finds out I write for this board

>>29982134
Please, go on ahead. I was doing this very late in th evening, and it is more or less one of my only attempts at writing a non-greentext story.

>>29983031
don't worry

Someone asked if I actually write with this shit playing.

Yes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMBkld5jB0o

>>29965966
Alright, boys. Let's talk about villains for a second.

Villain - or antagonists in general - can be the damn near hardest part of a story to write, and yet they're a staple - some would say a requirement - for an extended adventure story. They're also easily one of the best parts of a story if done right; a memorable and interesting villain can drive a story as much as the protagonists while not detracting from them.

But they're also one of the most pitfall-ridden parts of a story to play with, as it's ridiculously easy to make a antagonist who falls into any number of uninteresting categories: Not distinguishable enough to be remembered, too powerful/creator's pet, too weak or dumb to live up to their reputation...

So let me ask anyone else still reading: What are your tips for writing antagonists without making them uninteresting?
>Well that's easy, you just watch the episodes they're in...
No, that's too easy. Let's up the hardness: What are your tips for writing a OC who is intelligent, reasonably powerful, and can be appreciated by the reader without falling into Muh Special Snowflake pits?

>>29986831
Before you start trying to make anything interesting, you should first have a clear model of what you're working with. If you don't, you'll most likely come up with standard tropes, with only superficial variations.

Try thinking of an arc for your villain. Not really a character arc, but maybe a status arc. Your traditional arc for a villain is an upwards trend, with some peaks and valleys. They establish themselves, demonstrate their power, get foiled, only to exert more effort into making themselves more threatening, and finally be defeated in the end.

Maybe you could play around with that arc. Instead of a steady climb upwards, you could have the villain stay relatively low in status until the very end when they get a power boost. Sort of like the villain you never pay attention to, and at the end, they find the McGuffin that turns them into a god, and now they want to settle the score.

Or, maybe you could go the opposite direction: a villain whose status and presence is always high up until the very end. Maybe their power and status was a lie, and they weren't really as strong as they conveyed, or the protagonist found their weakness at the last minute.

Or, maybe you could have a traditional arc, but instead, there's a huge valley in the middle. Maybe the villain is assumed to be dead, only to come back later than expected much more powerful and angry than before.

You can mix and match these, with multiple villains, or just one. There's a lot you can do, and this is just one model for villains. I'm sure there are tons of models you can find, or create yourself.

>>29987079
I just thought of another arc. Have the standard up to the midway point, then a slow descent downwards as the villain desperately tries to maintain what little power they have.

>>29983807
https://pastebin.com/TYKvCSax
Take a look at what I changed. Feel free to message me on pastebin, I'll happily go through it line by line if you wish.

Are these threads usually so dead?

>>29990336
Yes, but they're necessary regardless. There needs to be a place for writer improvement, and between questions or reviews, all we can do is keep it bumped.

>>29986831
Remember that nothing is black and white. Not events, not characters, not anything. If a villain is doing something so bad it cannot plausibly be justified, you're writing him wrong. Look at history's villains. Hitler did the whole genocide thing, but he was also doing his best to secure a future for his people and spread their perceived grandeur across the world. Or Osama Bin Laden, he was absolutely despicable to us, but in his own mindset (and those of other radical Islamists) he was entirely justified fighting the holy war.

Get into the mindset of your villain. What does he or she value? What things could he or she do to advance those values and goals? Perhaps something that might seem just a little extreme to that mindset, but deplorable to everyone else?

Those actions are what make a villain.

>>29990421
Well okay, then. I guess I'll just go ahead and link this:

>>29947190

First green I ever wrote, and was a little hammered at the time; I may be now, as well. I'd be interested in hearing what people think of it.

>>29989718
I'd like to but can't do messaging on pastebin requires pro.
Anyhow I'd like to know where I specifically messed up, what sounda wrong and were. Reading it over again, I do see that I made quite a bunch of mistakes that I didn't pay attention to. I do try get my punctuation proper, albeit I don't watch out enough for words it seems?

>>29990487
I'll start nit-picking for flow and structure issues, that's where I do best.
>>29947190
>Line 3: "such" is unnecessary and interrupts flow
>Line 5: This sentence doesn't properly convey the idea and is too wordy. Try "You missed your car the most."
>Line 12: "Those" should be "the" and after the final comma "when" should be "because" or "since"
>Line 13: Watch your tenses. Shifts to past tense at the end.
>>29947194
>Line 3: You shouldn't reiterate possessive in this scenario. "The" should replace "your" door. Also, wrong form of its.
>Line 4: This is the third straight line you've referenced that it is a door and haven't changed subject. Use a different noun to improve flow, and rework ordering in the line. i.e. "Sunlight pours through the new opening, its piercing rays matched in intensity only by the voice that follows."
>Line 7: Watch your use of Applejack's accent. I can already tell it's going to be inconsistent. I won't comment further on this but I learned the hard way that placing too much emphasis on an accented character is usually not worth the effort. Use textual changes sparingly and have a good idea of what the accent might entail. For example, most Americans pronounce "your" as "yer" anyway (to some degree) and Applejack is supposedly from the Ozarks. Someone from there would not typically say I'mma, instead using "I'm going to" or a different full phrase.
>Line 10: Remove the second sentence entirely and put "The first thing you noticed was a buzzing sound" in as the line's first clause.
>Line 11: It's generally not good to have two sentence fragments in a row. Put some verbs in front of "varying tone", perhaps "it was of a"
>Line 15: Eloquent and profane are both adjectives and need an "and" between them.
>Line 16: Replace "at" with a comma.

>>29947203
>Line 2: Goddamn that is some messy verbiage. Reduce that to just "before entering a coughing fit."
The rest of this one is actually good, aside from accent inconsistencies. Nice work.
>>29947212
>Line 1: "Pretty" in this context is one of those words English teachers go ballistic on their students for, and for good reason. It's nothing but a clutter word. Remove it and try to keep those to a minimum.
>Line 2: You've used the term "technicolor horse" too much, it's starting to feel old. Consider one of the many alternative expressions.
>Line 11: "Rememebered"
>Line 12: You shifted tense again. A common mistake, line 10 was past tense (appropriately).
>Line 14: Tense shift again. This time, you start out fine but shift to past within the same line. Very noticeable and very not good.
>>29947214
>Line 2: Still in past tense.

And that's about it. Like I said, some problems with accenting throughout, but far better than most others' first attempt at writing AJ (myself included). Thing is, most folks reading this will know how she sounds and adjust the text within their own heads to fit the accent. Just fit in those little "country-isms" as she likes to call them, and you're probably fine on her speech.

Overall, this is pretty damn good for a first-time, although of course it is a one-shot and longer works may prove more difficult. Regardless, you have skill. What's your experience with writing? You make some stylistic and grammatical choices that I would not expect from anyone new to the practice.

Good night bump

again

I can't do this all day

>>29987079
That's a good way to put it, and while I hadn't thought of a "villain arc" before that is a good way to think of it.

In my case, what I was imagining starts with the antagonist seeming quite powerful - not just because he's objectively powerful, but because the protagonists just aren't prepared for a foe who takes off the gloves and "doesn't play nice". His minions are competent, security tight, and actions carefully calculated to consider the results.

My concern was that this might come across as a Marysue-villain, but I also feel it's kind of necessary because the point of his actions is to see what happens when ponies are forced to think on their feet, not given any shortcuts or easy outs, and then confronted with a moment of absolute despair. Until they change how they react towards him - as he intends to force them to do - his "villain arc" has him seeming untouchable, with an easy counter to all their tactics.

>>29990421
Frankly, grey-on-grey morality was one of my starting points with this character. He genuinely believes his actions are in fact for the best interests of the protagonists (and everyone else), and is arguably right. Naturally his means of getting there are very, very wrong for the protagonists as well.

But, again, set me worrying: Was it too much to present a villain who was both powerful and debatably has a point?

>>29990510
I reorganized the rewritten pastebin so you can see the thought process behind every change I made. Ultimately, the best piece of advice I can give you is this: try and get a better handle on your grammar first and foremost. There are a lot of unspoken rules when it comes to grammar, which makes it a very difficult subject to teach directly. It really is something you have to learn on your own. So keep practicing your writing and try to read as much as you can. Pretty lackluster and vague advice, I know, but I can't stress enough how important it is to have proper grammar.

>>29990421
>If a villain is doing something so bad it cannot plausibly be justified, you're writing him wrong
I disagree. Yes, your villain needs a motive that is comprehensible, and understandable, but it doesn't need to be sympathetic. Their actions don't need to be the result of a noble, but misguided effort. Moral grayness and complexity doesn't make a person interesting. In fact, having a morally complex villain is par for the course nowadays. It's a reactionary trend, and the necessity that storytellers feel to make these kinds of villains overshadows the qualities that do make a villain interesting, such as their attitude, demeanor, their presence, their goals, and their path to success and failure.

>>29996594
No, complexity isn't even necessary. A villain can be categorically evil to an observer, but the key is in making him just in AT LEAST ONE mindset. If that mindset is the polar opposite of the average observer, great. Say you have a space alien. His people depend on conquering, enslaving, and eradicating other species, and humanity is the next target. When they come to earth and enslave everybody, kill pregnant mothers, etc, that is absolutely and irrefutably evil to us. But it's what his people need, and to them, he's just doing the best he can.

>>29996646
And this is the point I'm trying to argue against. You're arguing that interesting villains have a justifiable motive for their actions: e.g. trying to better their civilization, or they see themselves as being good, and their way is founded in some kind of altruistic vision to see the ones they care about better off, or at least they should. That's not always true. There really are narcissistic, egotistical people, who are self-centered, and have no concern for others. They're not out to help anyone, but themselves. There really are people who lie, cheat, steal, and murder their way into a comfortable position in life because they see themselves as either being above that morality, or uncaring of the consequences they have to others.

The "I'm just doing what I need to do to help my kind" is not always true, and it doesn't always make for interesting villains. In fact, I would argue that because there's such a strong trend for these kinds of villains, in all media, that giving them the kind of motivator that the audience can sympathize with, runs the risk of making them more bland and run-of-the-mill.

benis in bagina :DDD

>>29996220
I understand, I do try to keep attention to basic things like commas and periods, although seems there is much more than just than just that.
If I may ask, other than grammar issues how is the general flow of the story and how did you feel about the sex scene.
I appreciate the advice, I do take note.if everything.

Good morning

Good afternoon

I've got a new story cooking up and I want to make it good. Like real good. But I really struggle with character development and pacing. Any tips?

>>30002568
That's kind of broad. Can you narrow it down a bit?

>>29999292
I shied away from commenting on the story itself, partly because correct grammar really is that important and also because there really isn’t all that much of a story to speak of. I can see you have the framework for a basic plotline laid down, but as it stands, nothing really happens besides a colt fucking an unconscious mare. I know very little about the colt as character and even less about the mare.

You mentioned in an earlier post that romance is a central pillar in this story. Having read it through, I really don’t see it. You iterate multiple times that the colt simply “likes her.” First of all, telling the reader this kind of information is lazy writing. Second, you never explain why the colt is infatuated with this mare in particular, so much so that he sneak into her home and sexually assaults her. The entire story is just actions with no reasoning or backstory behind those actions, like a film that is nothing but two hours of nonstop explosions and gun fights with no exposition to frame them.

Your writing style (referring to your writer’s voice) isn’t terrible, but it’s very bland. I would compare your story to a dish with minimal seasoning. Your diction leans on the simple side, so the imagery isn’t as vivid it should be (which really hurts a story when it comes to sex); there’s little flavor text and no figures of speech, so the entire piece reads like an anecdote referenced by a zoology student for their thesis paper; you also reuse some words quite a number of times, the worst offenders being words like: softly, gently, slowly, and deeply. You would do well to make your diction a tad more dynamic and expand your vocabulary.

1/2

>>30004720
The sex itself is fairly bare-bones, nothing that I haven’t seen before and done better. Like I said, your imagery isn’t colorful enough to convince me that the sex was an act of passion. Somnophilia is a very interesting fetish from a psychological perspective. It can say a lot about a person and their relationship with object of their desires. You touch on this a little with the way the colt treats the sleeping mare, but you could have went a lot further. Considering how uncreative the sex was, the mare could have been substituted with a fleshlight with her picture taped on it or a dead body and there wouldn’t be too much of a change in your story.

I initially thought the story you posted was an excerpt from a larger piece, hence the reason why your story is so light on exposition and character development. If this is really all there is, then what can I say besides, “You need to expand on these characters and explain how this situation ever came to be.” Time and time again, I see writers thinking they can skimp on the plot and skip straight to the sex. Don’t fall into this trap. Sex without context is like a punchline without the setup; I’m just going to end up feeling awkward and confused.

>>29990722
Yo, I don't know whether you saw my most recent update at the top of the thread. Right now, I'm sitting on close to 2,200 lines in, and on pace to finish reading by the end of the week. It'll probably be Monday when I let you know when you can expect that critique.

>>29996847
It's a good point, but villains who do things for their own gain are also capable of having interesting motivations; it's just a matter of exploring the psychology that makes them feel okay doing things that most folks would never consider.

>>29998223
:DD

>>30002568
Character development needs to be done from a solid foundation of knowledge about who your characters are and their roles in the story. Not all of what you know needs to make it into the text, but having an intimate knowledge of your characters allows for a lot of freedom when writing them, especially when they're interacting. I personally like drawing up outlines and character profiles, but that's not for everyone. Another tip I read often is to come up with a set of questions and run your character through them, as if you're interviewing them. It's a good litmus test for knowledge of your character.

As for pacing, it really depends on what kind of story you're going for. Can you be more specific in your question?

See you in the morning
>>30005646
Good to see you alive.

>>30005902
Thanks. I know I've been distracted lately. Two massive critiques back-to-back wasn't my finest idea. I'm hoping for something smaller next, to put some pep back in my step, so to speak.

Ponies are super racist

>>30007447
Ponies are a tolerant and progressive kind

>>30009851

How out of character is this?
>Rarity goes on a diet and Pinkie Pie keeps trying to tempt her into breaking it with various sweets.

>>30011711
Depends on the motivation for each. Why is Rarity going on a diet? Why is Pinkie tempting her?

>>30011749
Rarity is trying to slim down for Fashion Week and Pinkie equates being on a diet to stranding oneself in a culinary wasteland.

>>30011802
Okay, that actually makes sense. I could get behind that

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>>30011822
Coolio, thanks for the input.

Good morning

Sometime, I hate writing other board like RGRE thread. Maybe I am getting old for this.

>>30015059
I'm not sure how those two statements follow

Am I the only one here?

>>30018783

>>30020290

Save

Bump a rump

>>29986831
I think it's crucial to determine early on level of evil and source of motivation. What lines are they willing to cross, and what drives them to cross them. Are they an incarnate of evil, or are they someone who believes that they're doing what they must? If between, how far. Consistency makes a good villain great to me. That doesn't have to mean predictable, and it can also allow for some very engaging twists in a plot if your readers understand what a villain is willing or capable of doing to achieve a goal.

Episode day bump

>>30028443
tomorrow will be one too

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>>30005646
Hey, just a heads-up, I'm leaving for US Army Basic on the 15th, so I'd like to see your critique before then. If it's done in full before then, that's great, but if not then just post what you have on next Saturday please. No rush to finish, although I'd recommend at least reading the story to the end to make sure you don't focus on plot holes that get patched later.

Thanks for all you do amigo, and I'll make sure the folks at SPG start bumping the thread in place of me.

Save

Goodnight

Do they have hardcore EDM in Equestria? I feel like that would be a deal-breaker. Maybe. I bet I could teach Vinyl Scratch, at least.

>>30033801
What about the Saddle Row Review? Wasn't there a club upstairs?

>>30036967

>>30035696
yeah

Ponies are actually omnivores and eat copious amounts of meat when nobody is looking. But there is a social stigma attached to it so everyone just assumes they're a freak. The three butcher shops in the whole nation make a killing.