Realistically speaking, how would a pony react to seeing a weird-ass

laugh or vomit

>>29964197
They wouldn't like it. Too small and too different. The mare will only receive pleasure from the stallion's throbbing, thick, long cock.

How do humans react on seeing a throbbing mare penis? Probably similar.

>>29964206
>Too small

someone break out the chart

laugh and vomit

>>29964219
That chart is bullshit. You know a stallion cock is going to be at least 80cm long and 20cm thick.

>when you find out they can't cock vore with human penises

feels bad pony

>>29964224
Yeah! And it actually stays hard for hours at a time and ejaculates chocolate! How could any stupid monkey ever hope to compare?

Self-loathing is the worst fetish.

>>29964310
We need to have some self-loathing greens to balance out the "anon is hot and all the ponies want the HMD" which would obviously be false.

>>29964316
no need to project, anon

>>29964316
>im an ugly sack of shit so everyone else must be too

jej

>>29964316
>obviously be false

The vast majority of nerve endings in a mare's pussy are on the surface rather than the depth. Stallions are large, but they last like nine or ten thrusts before finish, most of the time far too short for a maregasm. Meaning the vast majority of the time, mares do not orgasm through sex with their own species.

Humans, on average, last several times longer than even the most energetic stallion. This, combined with the previously stated fact that the majority of a mare's nerves are not very deep inside, means that humans are better sex partners by a baffling margin.

Check your facts before you project so hard, anon. Even a cuck like you will find it hard to disappoint a mare.

>>29964383
How do we know that Equestrian ponies are just like real world ones? What if we get there and stallions end up having superior stamina, and mares' nerve endings are actually towards the depths, meaning size matters? What will us small-dicked and short-fused autists do in that case?

>>29964399
arm

>>29964206
While the stallion cock would be large for body size, humans are larger. The penises would probably be about the same size. Remember, in real life horses are much larger than humans. If a horse were shrunk down to about waist size, with all its body parts shrinking at the same rate, its penis would only be about the size of a human's.

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>>29964399
>"i don't have a retort to that so i'm just gonna spout my retarded headcannon"

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>>29964206
>>29964219
>>29964224
>>29964310
>>29964316
>>29964383
>>29964399
>>29964417
>>29964425
Look at the truth.

>>29964219
You mean the chart based off a candy cane knocked on its side.
that throws the whole fucking thing off.

>>29964399
Why would you operate on the less likely assumption.

>>29964432
Projecting this hard should be illegal.
>>29964435
That and a filly who was not standing up perfectly straight.

>>29964440
Probably because he's been cucked so often in real life that he can't even imagine a world where he isn't cucked anymore.

>name of the show is My Little Pony
This should be all you need.

>>29964197
When's the last time anyone else saw your willy?

When's the last time you saw your own willy, you fat fuck?

>>29964449
Cuckoldry is my fetish.

>>29964316
>which would obviously be false.
Idk about that part but I agree with everything else.

>>29964463
good, you're less likely to spread your disgusting cuck genetics

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>>29964435
>>29964443
There's another chart done off the police line up in the Cheese Sandwich episode and the height markers behind them, and it delivers a extremely similar result.

Also, here's some more autism.
Pony height is canon fellas. Get over it.

>>29964399
You can't just say "They'd be different from their real world counterparts and have similiar stamina." while saying they also have much larger penises. For God's sake they're at most 1/8 the size of a normal horse, so even if their penises were 1/4 the size of a normal horse, that still would put them at around average human size.

>>29964197
probably the way a real life mare reacts to seeing a human penis thats attached to a man she trusts: lifting her tail and presenting herself. Mares love human dick.

>>29964475
The bit about ponies getting shitfaced faster is new too.

>>29964475
>Iron Will is 6'5" 1000lbs.

Yeah no that's where that chart is full of fucking shit. I'd agree otherwise.

>>29964512
Yeesh. How'd mathanon come up with that one? Even figuring for super-dense muscle tissue that would give him minotaur stranth, half that 1000 lbs would be much more likely.

>>29964460
no need to project, anon

>>29964512
The average bull weighs 1600-1700 pounds anon

>>29964561
The average bull does not stand up on 2 minuscule legs and reach a height of 6.5 ft. So lets not try to compare them to their real world counterparts

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Probably not accurate, as EQG isn't canon. But it's all I have.

>>29964197
I don't know, OP, how did you react your first time?

>>29964584
perfect cock sucking height

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>>29964584
And you couldn't post the canon comparison because...?

>>29964621
That gif practically confirms >>29964584

>>29964604
Exactly. Just drop trou, rest a hand on her head, and let her go to work.

>>29964621
when the fuck was this?

>>29964674
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdF8eicl8bQ
1:43

>>29964316
Well, write it then dummy. No one is keeping you.
I would write it myself but I'm shit at writing.

>>29964718
I can't write either.

>>29964718
>>29964722
As expected of self loathing misanthropes.

>>29964738
You're right, Anon. I am such a good-for-nothing piece of shit that can't even write my own scenarios down. How pathetic can I even get? Fuck. Just don't degrade me further, please.

>>29964475
>There's another chart done off the police line up in the Cheese Sandwich episode and the height markers behind them
Alright yeah that seems much more reasonable

although I count the eqg bloopers as their cannon size. On the other hand it is possible the eqgs themselves are not human sized

>>29964738
Stop it, this is clearly his fetish. Don't give him what he wants.

>>29964768
I mean even if the argument was the candycane being a bit slanted and the filly not standing straight, that would only change things by like a few inches MAX, it wouldn't make much of a difference anywhere.
Plus the second chart, straightens out the candycane.

>although I count the eqg bloopers as their cannon size
I think using something that literally give you a height marker is a better idea, especially since the bloopers are supposed to be fun bloopers.

>you will never give a pony the dick

>>29964769
But not giving him what he wants is his fetish! It's a no-win scenario you're putting me in, anon! Kobayashi Maru!

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>>29964316
so you want more of that one story where anon never gets into a relationship, acts like a self loathing beta while all the m6 get boyfriends, eventually leaves to some other town, loses a leg to a bear or something, wrestles ponies for a living in this other town and eventually ends up almost being murdered by twilights boyfriend? a story where anon is a beta victim with the mentality of a 13 yr old?

i wonder why theres not more of those stories.

>>29964197
>Realistically speaking
well, canonically speaking twilight would totally want a human dick. shes a xenophile.

pinkie also seems to be open to other races with the way she was acting around those stone statues of gryphons.

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>>29964197
Not sure. Depends on the pony I guess, but I think the reaction would be better than you might expect. Human penises don't have any bones or spines or knots or any of that weird shit in them. Ever actually seen a dog dick? Shit is weird and nasty looking. Same with like raccoons and stuff. Human dicks and horse dicks are fairly similar compared to some of the other shit out there. So not revolting, at least. Unless you just have a nasty-ass penis.

>it's another bitter landwhale trying to discourage men from fantasizing about non-humans thread
You will never have hooves, ladies. You just have to accept you're not our type of farm animal.

>>29965018
>da burr
was not a fan of it, myself

>>29964684
>That chair twirl.

>>29964197
My guess is there are a lot of different sapient species with varying penises. There are probably sex toys of minotaur dongs, horse dongs, griffon dongs, etc. I doubt they'd be as put off as some people are implying, unless they're already prudish about interspecies sex.

>>29965018
That story was pretty good though.

>>29965300
i couldnt even find it. i might have to do a dramatic reading of it later

>>29965306
https://pastebin.com/8BB4kmgm
Is this it?

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>>29965319
there it is. legendary trash.

>>29965351
What's so bad about it?

>>29964197

not well

>>29965351
>>29965358
He's just butthurt because it doesn't have his weenie "ponies crave hot monkey dick and coitus takes place" dreck. Little does he know how good the story is. True and relatable. Kerberos is the hero we need.

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>>29965388
Die.

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>>29965369
its not nice to bait people into reading that.

>>29964684
I swear there is one more blooper that should be here.

>>29965388
P
H
E
W

>>29965369
kill yourself, trash

>>29964787
>>29964435
>>29964432
>>29964475
I forget, how was the candy cane determined to be 8 ft?

>>29965779
>"I spy an eight foot candy cane!"

>>29965779
>>29965962
Exactly.
That's why I like the police line up one more, cause it has clear foot and foot markers.
I still can't find it though, and it's pissing me off. I know it's saved in one of these fucking folders.

But like I said, both end up with spot on results. For whatever reasons, the writers must have some guidance on canon height and not to fuck it up.

>>29965989
excuse the name, forgot it was on

>>29965996
Well, you bumped the thread, so you did what your name promised.

>>29965779
Somepony ^:) said it was 8ft tall.

>>29965369
>skip to ending
>see generic edgy everyone got away with everything bittersweet bullshit ending

You tried to trick me into reading this trash, you fucking monster.

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>>29964197
About as well as the average, normie, pleb american human would react to pony genitalia.

Some would walk away in disgust. Some would call the police. Some would take a quick glance to see the fuss and gossip about later. And a very very select few would look at it with lust.

Imagine if you meet one that can't hide their power level.

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>>29964197
>Realistically speaking, how would a pony react to seeing a weird-ass human penis?
Better than you'd expect really.
Keep in mind they live in a world full of sapient animalistic species like Diamond Dogs, Gryphons, Dragons, Minotaurs, Yaks, Buffalo, Cow/bulls and deer.
This means penises fucking vary wildly between sapient species unlike on earth where the choice is between skin color and whether you want it mutilated or not.

A flaccid human uncircumcised dick would look smooth as fuck, if unassuming, without any bones in it like the knotted red pointy dick a Diamond Dog would have or the uncomfortable barbs a Gryphon dick would have, or the cloaca of a dragon that's two fucking dicks in one.

Lack of flare aside, human dick would probably be the easiest for a mare to get into if she was interested in inter species relations, the only feature that would really bring out a reaction, positive, negative or neutral, would be the fact human cocks just dangle outward unlike pretty much every other species, the only possible exception being minotaurs, where it partially or completely recedes into the body one way or another.

This is assuming seeing other species dicks is common, other wise the reactions would vary about as much as you'd expect of a human, considering the circumstances, the environment and the context, and even if they didn't see the dicks no doubt there would have been mares that did so through the way of gossip or simple conversation on the topic they'd be at least aware that dicks are as varied in form and shape as the creatures they are attached to.

If the mare knew what she was getting into and prepared, the reaction would be mild, but if you flashed a random mare on the street with your alien cock you'd best expect an extreme disgust and the cops soon

>>29964584
That's probably the most accurate comparison, though.

>EqG isn't canon

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>>29964197

>>29967423
The flash puppets are the same ones used in mlp. So yes, the comparison is.

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>>29964197

>>29967924
Marecock is not a good joke anon.

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>>29964208

Extremely turned on, then?

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>>29964432
>This fucking eight-foot candy cane again

Jesus christ, the measurement unit of a foot, in the context to real life, is based on the human foot. You can't use their "foot" measurement unit to be equal to our "foot" measurement unit since there are no humans in Equestria.

>>29969566
>>29964475
Same for this shit

>>29969566
Wow. That's just looking for excuses. What's your angle? Why are you so invested in disproving the chart that you'd resort to an argument about the origin of feet as a measurement system and the etymology of the word? Ponies don't even have feet. Why would they use the word at all, then?

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>>29969597
Whether looking for an excuse or not, you can't explain how the two measurement units would be the same. I've reached points of autistic rage from seeing this inaccurate method of measuring cartoon pastel ponies being used.

Meanwhile their are other beings in the show who do have feet. Dragons and all that shit. It doesn't make much sense that they would name it after one of these species, with Celestia being the ruler and all, but it makes even less sense that they would use it it reference to the foot of a human, a being who doesn't even exist.

I'm just saying it how it is. If you can't handle the fact that you're wrong though, that's your problem.

>>29965779
You have to count the pixels
26 pixels = 1 ft

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>>29969653
>I've reached points of autistic rage

Well there it is then. You are just being autistic. Ponies say things that only make sense in an English speaking world of humans all the time. How do you rationalize that? You're overthinking shit.

What's a foot in Equestria then? I'll lend credence to your autism, but only if you can give me an Equestrian foot. Otherwise it's just ponies speaking English and you are sperging out for no reason.

Fucking mental.

>>29969566
You know you can easily convert feet to meters right? Dumbass.

>>29964197
Maybe it was some other species that named this unit, that actually had feets, or ponies can call their hooves "feets".

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Oh my god guys the show creators totally knew what they were doing they so obviously wanted me to masturbate don't stop doing. Did you see the latest episode where Twilight has jizz on her face? Almost as hot as the time the camera was behind Fluttershy. So hard when watching the show so glad we've had this board for so many years so we can discuss this every day for the rest of our lives.

>>29969722
>>29969653

>>29969590
>>29969566
You're a fucking idiot grasping at straws. You're a massiveponefaggot or something around you?

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>>29969710
>Acting like calling someone autistic is an insult
>On /mlp/ a board for grown-men to discuss My Little Pony
Please stop trying to take the high road. It's like a bum laughing at another bum.

Actually try to read the second section of text I wrote where I theorized where their "foot" could have come from. I can't say what it is definitively but if you can't prove that the contradiction I brought up is wrong you should probably stop trying to argue. Otherwise you're just bringing up zero points and looking like a retard who can't read

Make sure to add lots of insults into your next post, while failing to disprove anything I said.

>>29969714
How can someone miss the point this much

>>29969818
You know a foot isn't derived from an actual persons foot...right?

>>29969826
Please try and use google

>>29969826
I'll let someone else educate this idiot.

>>29964197
Considering Fluttershy spends all day fucking animals, I'd expect her to be pretty lenient about it

>>29964197
what's so weird about a human penis?

>>29969826
You

You cannot possibly be this retarded

>>29964197
>seeing

The only time clothes are ever worn is for a special event or occasion. Heck even Fluttershy lives with hundreds of animals. Do you really think that she isn't glancing down there? They live in a society where genitals are flapping around everyday. I think the most unsettling aspect to a human wouldn't be the genitalia but the lack of hair.

>>29970663
It's small, it doesn't retract when it's not in use, it has a rounded head, and hair grows off of it.

>>29969818
A bum with a cup full of change and a cart full of clothes and food, can laugh at a bum with nothing who's autistic and has pissed themselves.

>>29970788
Truth. I would have to bee weird to see something walking around with no fur. Just tufts of hair here and there and a thin layer covering the rest of the body. Given that, they almost certainly wouldn't even bother paying any attention to you junk if it weren't for the fact that it is right about face height for them.

>>29970880
A bum can't laugh at anyone. That's the point of being a bum: you're society's outcast.

>>29971108
You're the bums outcast.

Too me, I think of ponies as being about half a human. Ideally mouth at penis height, so oral can be done with both standing up

>>29971231
Things don't work that way. There's a certain standard society has, you come below that standard, you can't laugh at anyone, because at the end of the day, you're still a bum.

>>29971361
dis y u da champ

>>29965319
>that ending
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd9OhYroLN0

>>29970663
Well compared to a horsedick

>>29964206
Best mare pack says otherwise
And those were full grown mares

>>29964310
>>29964432
>what is magic
You fucking neckbeards are really reaching with that bullshit chart

>>29972848
Find me a unicorn with a penis cutie mark.

It's okay; take your time. I'll wait.

>>29971108
Societies outcasts are pedophiles not bums
Bums are tolerated
Pedophiles are not
Prison proves this

>>29972858
>Find me a unicorn with a penis cutie mark


I could rape scootaloo until her cutie mark appears as a penis and scrotum.

i'd do it for free
consider it as community service volunteer work

>>29972848
Someone post the chart with similar results that's based off the police line up. With SPECIFIC measurement.
Ya fucked kiddo.