You find yourself in an interstate rest stop men's room.

File: Derpy Shrug.png (75KB, 500x560px) Image search: [Google]

75KB, 500x560px

>>29573430
It's not all bad, though. The pony eventually turns around and begins to rub you against her velvety parts. She guides you deep into her body and you can feel her muscles squeezing really, really hard on your- That's way more hard than you thought. Actually it's quite painful. Panic sets in as you can't withdraw your member. You hear a pained screaming coming from the other side of the wall.

"OH NO! AHHH! MY BUTT REALLY HURTS! SOMEPONY HELP! WAAAAH!"

But it's the muffled reply you heard afterwards that sent an icy chill rushing through your veins.

"Ugh. It's called anal, Derpy. You put it in the wrong hole. Just pull it out and try again."

"Owwie! Owwie! Owwie! Okay, here goes!"

You feel a heavy tug and your world becomes a sea of pain. As everything fades to black you hear a dull echoing voice from nowhere lamenting how "it happened again".

>>29573430
>>29573432

You win the "most creative path to Equestria" award. I've only seen one story* that comes close to "pulled through an interdimensional glory hole by Derpy's ass", but it still falls short of this.

* The story in question had a Jumanji-like game involving pony sex, and returning to the real world meant getting stuffed into an orifice. Which is now the second strangest means I've seen to reach Equestria.

>>29573432
>But it's the muffled reply you heard afterwards that sent an icy chill rushing through your veins.
>"Ugh. It's called anal, Derpy. You put it in the wrong hole. Just pull it out and try again."

Who was that, and why were they right there when Derpy was having sex?

File: Aww hell no.gif (1MB, 400x225px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 400x225px

>>29573432
>Threw up after attempting Deep throating

> Accidental goes into anal.

She didn't even clean you off.

File: Vomitpony.jpg (1MB, 1247x1272px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1247x1272px

>>29573473
That was the lube.

>>29573430
>>29573432

reminds me of that story where derpy fucks up at sex with anon so bad she accidentally kills him.

>>29573540
>reminds me of that story where derpy fucks up at sex with anon so bad she accidentally kills him.

Link?

Holy god damn fuck this meme ass board is still going??!?

File: AJ and Costanza Implying.png (208KB, 495x344px) Image search: [Google]

208KB, 495x344px

>>29573547
>implying this isn't its rotting yet animated corpse

>>29573432
Damn. That's actually pretty good. Got anything else for us?

>>29574727
Take your screencap already and fuck off, retard

File: manhattan transfer.jpg (212KB, 1536x1169px) Image search: [Google]

212KB, 1536x1169px

>>29573430
>You find yourself in an interstate rest stop men's room. You'd heard rumors about "it" being here but you'd always chalked it up to the ravings of internet faggots. But here it is, in the 3rd stall over, just as described - a gloryhole leading to Equestria.

>>29573430
Horses can't throw up

>>29575270
people who post about cartoon ponies online make me want to throw up on the horses' behalf

you're all garbage people. i dislike you. if someone were to say they liked my little pony to me, and that person was not a child, i would think less of that person.

>>29573445
I remember that fic. Chrysalis tasted like absinthe.

>"Unfortunately, even with all of our powers combined, we'll only be able to create a small portal, and only for a small amount of time. "
>You frown at Celestia's news.
"How small? And how long will it stay open?"
>"It will be about half the diameter of a bit, and will only stay open for about 30 seconds. "
>This was supposed to be your big chance to communicate with another world, and the terms were unworkable.
"Princess, even if they are able to send a message through, what could we possibly learn about their world?"
>She smiles and puts a reassuring wing on your wither.
>"We can learn more than you realize, Twilight. Curiosity, kindness, a readiness to give of oneself. You underestimate the power of first words, however small they may be. "
>She quietly takes her place by Luna and Cadence for the spell.
"Wait, should we wait for them to say something, or should we attempt to communicate first?"
>You feel your stomach turn as you fret over how your first impressions might be taken.
"W-what if we don't say anything, and they think we're stupid? Or what if we say something first, and they get offended at our presumptuousness? O-or-"
>"In times like this, perhaps it is best for you to listen to your heart. "
>Celestia's words make you pause. You sit down and think for a moment, before finally coming to a conclusion.
>You dictate a short letter to spike, and roll it up into a tube. Taking your place by Celestia's side, you offer her a nervous smile before locking your eyes to the space ahead of you.
>She chuckles at your nerves before calling out the order to begin to Luna and Cadence.
>The four of you focus your spells on the air in front of you and give it all you've got.
>After a short while, the spot in front of you explodes into light, and a small hole into the other world opens.
>You quickly launch the letter into the hole with a pencil, so that they can respond as quickly as possible.
>Now all there's left to do is wait.

>>29575791
>And how excruciating that wait was. Each second was more painful than the last.
>You turn to Celestia after about five seconds, fearful of having missed your chance.
"What if there's nobody near the portal, or what if we opened the portal in the middle of space, or-"
>"Twilight, look! " Luna shouts excitedly, pointing at the portal.
>It begins to glow brightly as an object from the other side prepares to emerge.
>You hold your breath as you see a pale cylinder emerge, but you're confused when it doesn't fall to the ground.
>As you look closer and discover that it isn't your letter, you're surprised when it stands straight out.
"What the-"
>Cadence's face flashes with recognition, and she looks away with a blush.
>"Oh my, they're, uh, eager to meet us... "
>Luna looks over at cadence with annoyance.
>"Certainly you aren't suggesting that this is a stallion-"
>She's interrupted when the...thing...twitches and fires a small glob of white fluid at Celestia's hooves.
>A deafening silence falls upon the room for the remaining 5 or so seconds of the portal's life.
>It finally, thankfully, collapses, severing the...thing...and dropping it on the ground, where it begins to leak blood all over the tile.
>No one wanted to be the first to speak, so Celestia settled for silently walking away.
"Wait, I don't...Do we try to make contact again, or...?
>She turns back to you with a confused, bewildered look on her face, eyes flitting across the room as she searched for something to say.
>"...I think we've learned all that we need to know about that world."
>She turned back around and slowly walked away, shaking her head.
>You looked over to where Luna and Cadence once stood, only to find that they had left as well.
"I guess Celestia was right about first impressions..."
>You levitate the...thing...into the nearest trash can and head out to meet your old canterlot friends for lunch.
>You decide it'd probably best if you kept this particular story to yourself, though.

>>29575352
No one cares you dumb faggot

>>29575254
>tfw i read it in his voice
Classy as fuck and superb taste, Anon.

>>29575254
I actually read it in Serling's voice.

Perfect.

File: EG is Hell.png (56KB, 371x373px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 371x373px

>>29575791
>>29575800
And that's why ponies don't save us from our existential hell.